Undying Truth (Official Book 1)
by REDROOM VALINTINESDAY
Summary: Living underneath the roof of an abusive father has never been easy for Gareki. His life is tough while going through the feelings of betrayal in his family with also a mother who drinks alcohol for her heart breaking pain of losing two men in her life. The only thing that can make Gareki sane and not go completely crazy is Alex the "New Guy" But what will await in Gareki's future?
1. Summary

**Book By: GothinBlack**

 **Status: Summary has been edited.**

 **News: There will be a book two called "Undying Reality"**

 **WARNING: This book contains explicit contents and abusive actions do not leave rude comments on these actions with ignorant rants or reviews. Enjoy if you like these sorts of things but please leave if you do not. By the way this book is very long read at your own pace if you'd like, I don't plan on deleting it, but I do recommend you favorite this book so you can always read it in your recommendations. Enjoy and thanks for reading.**

 **Full summary-**

 **Gareki a 17 year old Junior attending school at Weslyn High in Boston is about to go through a life filled with drama and troublemaking decisions as his father is nothing more than a man whore having an affair with his wife, Gareki's mother behind her back. Gareki finds out about this but under the threat of being killed and his mother being killed as well he is forced to keep this a secret from everyone. Dealing with these kinds of hardships isn't easy as Gareki gets beaten almost everyday for doing absolutely nothing by his own dad who soon ends up behind bars because of his over abusiveness and if that isn't enough Gareki suffers from anxiety attacks causing everything around him to become harder to deal with, but because of meeting a persistent new boy which soon becomes Gareki's boyfriend named Alex and two friends named Nai and D.C life has suddenly become a non-hassle up until the troublesome news of finding out the break out of his father from jail a month and a half later.** **From this situation Gareki meets Yogi, a man that is so intense that Gareki can't even look him in the eyes. He works undercover as a solo high ranked detective who is brought upon by Hirato who tells Yogi of Gareki's identity and his past events of abuse. But what will happen now that Gareki's father is free? Things are clear that Gareki's father is out for revenge against his own son and wife but what links will he go through to make them suffer for putting him behind bars? Read and find out.**


	2. When It all started

**When It All Started—1 ( Part 1)**

* * *

I saw it burning right in front of me that night. I watched it from the grassy field I had been standing in. I could feel the heat of it all touch my skin along with the blood that fell from the gun shot wound in my lower abdomen. I held tightly to the red bracelet in my left land as I stared at the burning barn. I felt at a loss. It all felt like a nightmare. From the very beginning it all felt like a nightmare that I mistakenly thought would end once my father was behind bars. Away from me and my mother.

But that had made things worse. Revenge was cruel if you were an evil person. My father was evil destined to die and go to hell and I was fine thinking that considering all the pain and fear he had caused me.

None of the people that had gotten mixed up into the drama of my life deserved any of it. It was all my fault I should have kept my mouth shut that one night. Truth was. . .my life had been fucked ever since I saw my father in that car with another women that hadn't been my mother. I didn't know why but at the time it messed me up inside.

But some how I got lucky just a little. But not lucky enough to save the people I cared about had fallen all because of me, but lucky that I survived thanks to a boy I loved named Alex Thorne. I kept wondering why I hadn't died in that same fire as he did, things would have changed for my future if I had. which would have excepted as being better than living. Undying Truth is a story of how everything in my life switched from normal to the real truth of the lies and betrayal I had in my life all mixed up into drama that nearly drove me mad.

I was only 17 at the time in my junior year of Westlyn High school when a man named Yogi stepped into my life and who I at the time didn't realize he was about to save my life in the future and that we were really meant to be together. I guess this is the part where I start from the beginning telling you my story of how it all happened. I should warn you though. . .It's long and some what slow but you'll understand soon.

* * *

 **1 Year Ago...**

I stood in the bathroom. Door locked and one of my tattooed arms over the sink leaking a red substance. It covered the inside of the sink mostly. I breathed in a steady breath as I leaned the sharp knife with a shaky hand closer to my wrist once again making the plunge of pain sink in with a sheering pain in another area of my left arm.

I shut my mouth. ... Tightly. Hard enough my jaw hurt but that wasn't enough to keep the tiny yelp from coming out, I cut myself harder just for making the stupid noise and quickly pulled away the kitchen utensil.

I dropped the object unable to hold it with my shaking hand any longer. I had done this more then one time but the shock from it still sent chills down my spine. I grabbed a hold of the sinks edge with both of my hands and ignored the pain in my wrist from my left bare arm.

I took in steady breaths as I focused my blue-grey eyes on the figure standing in the mirror. Messy black hair and a pale face belonging to a 17 year old teenage boy.

I tried not to mention the tears in my eyes and the red puffy face but it was out there already so I didn't find a point of hiding it. I cleaned up the bloody mess I made and returned the now clean knife back into the kitchen into it's rightful place.

I climbed the stairs quietly, trying not to wake my parents in the room to the right of the stair case. I walked to my room and shut the door behind me. Climbing into my bed I covered myself mostly with the cover to conceal myself. It was hard to sleep but I soon found the darkness consuming me.

All the while my left wrist hurt inside of it's white bandages. But I did my best to ignore it.

My dad knew what he was doing was wrong and it only made my mood worse. Day by day and night by night. I clenched my bed sheets with my good hand and slowly went to sleep.

Beep...Beep...Be—Slam. My left hand hurt once I slammed it against my off button on my alarm clock but I didn't care much, it would heal. Then would come round five of cutting myself. I blew out a breath of annoyance as I slouched out of bed but then found myself laying back down.

You ever have those mornings when you just don't want to get out of bed for the day of school but then you're all like I'll go to sleep for just a few more minutes and then you wake up but then once you wake up you notice you're about to be late for your bus. Well that was the stupid mistake I had just made.

I groaned grabbing my backpack after getting finished brushing my teeth and doing all the other morning essential things and rushed my way out of my room and down the stair case.

"I hate Mondays." I muttered under my breath passing my mom up who stopped me just as I was about to grab the front door and seriously run like hell to the bus stop.

"What is it!" I snapped in a hurry.

"Have a good day." She said cheerfully, my guess is that she still didn't know what my dad was doing behind her back I had officially decided to leave it in a grown ups place to deal with the situation. "Thanks." I muttered continuing to run out the door only to see my bus had passed me right up.

"You have be kidding me I yelled staring at the bus as it drove down the street. Yeah, that morning wasn't so good for me...I'll admit. And the day was only going to get worse but I just didn't know it yet. Oh how I wish I had.

"Damn bus." I groaned to myself as I did my locker combination after getting a ride with my mom to Westlyn High school. I grabbed my huge book for home room which was English Literature. Just my luck, I'd have to focus my time on Mrs. Stewarts written assignments for the next past half hour AND the lecture about me being late, but this time it **wasn't** my fault. I had a real excuse this time.

I slammed my locker door in disinterest not wanting to go to class but I'd have to, even though I wasn't all in the mood for it like I used to be. My mom wanted me to focus on something more then just guitar play. I had been playing for as long as I could remember and it was my only hobby, but she wanted me to use my brain for other subjects.

I sighed and began walking towards my class with my book in one of my arms and shoving my hands into the pockets of my ripped black skinny jeans I sauntered my way to class only to hear the lecture of me being late as soon as I walked in.

 _I knew it was going to be coming._

" I'm glad you decided to join us Gareki!,"came Mrs. Stewarts loud voice." And I sure hope you have your homework assignment finished and ready to present to the class this morning."

Realization hit me as I stopped my walking mid step to my seat. Just the thought of standing in front of a bunch of idiotic peers who only liked to make stupid embarrassing comments about the person presenting made me sick. I mean what was with this place with presenting in front of the entire class. I hated every moment of it.

I turned slowly to Mrs. Stewart." Could you reschedule that—"

"I think not Gareki, I know you well enough to know that the only thing you're going to do is bale on this project thus giving yourself yet another F."

"Just great." I said with fake enthusiasm.

"What was that!" She snapped.

"Oh nothing." I said with fake innocence. Getting a few laughs from the class. I reluctantly walked to the center of the room and stood there wondering what the paper was supposed to be about again. I had forgotten,... mainly because I didn't do it.

I could hear Mrs. Stewert sigh behind me. "If you're wondering, this assignment is about what interests you. Any hobbies?"

"That's it?" I asked laughing slightly, turning to her a bit surprised. All this time I had guessed it had something to do with Shakespeare. Thank goodness it hadn't.

She nodded her head still with that stern look on her mid 40's face. I turned back to the class and shoved my hands into my pockets casually and began to explain what I did as a hobby completely not interested in explaining this to them and as usual I spoke in a bored tone when suddenly a teenage boy at my age(it seemed) walked into the room.

The door to the class made a loud bang as the heavy wood closed itself behind the "new guy". I knew he was new because I hadn't seen him around school before, and I had seen **everyone** in this place.

I stopped talking abruptly once I saw his face, his...gorgeous face.

The boy got closer to me. All the noise in the room drowned out and my eyes only stayed focused on him, unblinking and my body froze as he took steps closer to me. With each step I felt anxious for some reason, like I was expecting something.

He was taller then me at 5,11 as he came to a stop next to me and Mrs. Stewart. His hair was Black with red streaks on one side, septum in his nose with a lip ring in the corner of his bottom lip. He was lean chested with grey eyes, and was rocking the color black with a band T shirt I knew to well.

 **Avenged Sevenfold**. I found myself smirking a little at his interests. I focused my eyes onto his, just now noticing he was staring at me.

We both stared at each other not saying a word, not even bothering to look away. Until Mrs. Stewarts voice snapped us out of our daze.

"Do you two know each other?" She asked. An annoyed tone edging into her voice by the possible problem of having another trouble maker in her class.

"We haven't met." I told her flatly, now snapping myself back to my aloof self giving her a skeptical look. She knew I didn't like people which meant I had **no** friends in this entire school. I wasn't embarrassed. Hell they wouldn't remember me by the time we got older and graduated to different collages anyway so what was the point? I didn't get it. All the while when I was talking to her I could feel the" new guys" eyes still on me and it kind of freaked me out I could feel his gaze scanning over my body and it made me tense up.

Mrs Stewart told me I had an A on my assignment since I **actually** did some thing for it this time, then she dismissed me to my seat which I happily obliged. I sat down in the very back of the class glad to not be in the center of attention.

Instead of the class whispering about me everyone was focused on the "new guy".

Just the thought made me remember what I had thought of him just earlier. Gorgeous... really. What was I thinking, I mean don't get me wrong, he was very good looking but what **was** I actually thinking? Was I...crushing or something— no, I'm not going to finish that thought. I didn't have time nor was I in the mood for that sort of thing.

Mrs. Stewart told the "new guy" to introduce himself which he did. Turns out his name was Alex Thorne, he was a junior the same grade and age as me, he was 17. He seemed pretty calm describing himself and once his introduction was over Mrs. Stewart picked out a seat for him.

Oh _ **great** _ the _**good**_ part. If you hadn't noticed I was being sarcastic. I had no beef with the "new guy" but if this person caused more trouble for me then I would seriously transfer myself out of this class. I don't like people, and this guy had shown an interest in me. I could tell in in his eyes when he had looked at me. ... A bit to long then normal.

"Oh goodness. Mrs. Stewart said before adding, I know I'm going to regret this the only seat available is next to Gareki. How about you sit there?

Alex shrugs, putting his hands into his pockets and climbs up to the seat next to me. I avoid eye contact completely not wanting to get sucked up into some new friendship. I wanted to be alone for a reason. I made a stupid move of resting my chin on my left hand, causing me to flex my wound and I immediately jerked from the intense pain.

I sighed slowly trying to suppress the yell I wanted to give out and tucked my wound back into it's hidden place underneath my black jacket sleeve. I hope no one saw that, last thing I needed was a concerned crowd.

The rest of the class went by with reviewing over our next writing assignment which was due next Monday giving us plenty of time to work with a partner. It must have been m,y lucky day today

I didn't have a problem with it- but I just didn't like people, as you know already. I was better off on my own. But just the thought of doing a writing project with 3 pages having to do with interviewing a person which was to only be done with the people in this very class of mine was just annoying, I mean all that research. Just on one person asking stupid questions.

I watched at the 3 page packet was handed back to me and I looked at it's contents. I saw about 30 something questions all wanting great detail about the person. I grabbed my black back pack and shrugging it on one of my shoulders

I needed to get a partner asap. I got up and scanned around the room and to my dismay most of the class either already had a partner or were talking about being partners. I slumped crossing my arms. Just. My. Luck. I said slowly not really meaning it. letting out a groan.

I looked up at the clock to notice English literature was almost over. Thank the gods. Now I wou-

A tap was on my shoulder. I turned around to see that same attractive face of Alex. There goes that word again, _Attractive.._ what was seriously happening to my mind today.

Oh it's you. I said plainly in my bored tone.

He raised an eye brow at my rudeness then he seemed to have smirked but I wouldn't have known because once that bell rung I was out. I practically ran out of class shoving past people. Without a care. All the while Alex had been staring after me dumfounded at my retreat.

I sighed thankfully once at my locker in hall way B-3. I did my combo and took out my gym clothing in a sports bag and ditched my backpack once closing my locker I headed for my next class.

* * *

I held the ball in my hand and focused my foot placement behind the line of black ink on the glossy floors of the big gymnasium. I looked at how far the Net was spreading from the two sidelines and saw Alex's face staring right at me. He was in my gym class as well. But I ignored him all the same. I didn't have time to get involved with people even if I had to do a project about interviewing some persons interests and plans for the future I'd have to just make up a person, No one would ever know the truth behind it. it was that simple.

I threw the ball up high and jumped up and slammed it with the palm of my hand and watched as it flew over the net to the players on defense.

I watched as they went towards the ball hitting it over the net back to our side. I braced myself as it came towards me once one of my own players had hit it wrongly. I intertwined my fingers and bumped the ball over on my wrist which soon sent a familiar pain threw my arm.

I hitched my breath in my throat holding back a yelp. I got some stares from my team giving me concerned looks. I ignored them and focused on the ball being sent back to our side. Of course it was heading strait for me. The team we played against always wanted to test me. I had no other choice but to hit the ball with my other hand which was my right and sent the ball into the net not my best shot but then again it wasn't my best hand to hit the ball with. I stepped off the court and sat on the bleachers as I was called out for the delay by the couches whistle. I wondered what was the point of hitting the ball with my uninjured hand if it was just going to get me out of the game anyway.

I hated volleyball now.

I had wrapped my wrist with a bandage to keep it covered from unwanted view but now I was finding it increasingly annoying. The pain was increasing to a maximum thanks to the hard ball hitting against it, I had cleaned it trust me I have. But I couldn't bare it any longer, it hurt to much. I excused myself to go into the bathroom to take a look at it.

I stood in front of the mirror of the men's changing room and slowly unwrapped my bandages to see a red cut glaring back at me. My face hid the pain I was feeling as a peered down at it. It wasn't bleeding which was good but it had a redness to it and that was pretty much it.

I sighed and turned on the water to cold to calm down the burning feeling. Only to see a reflection in the mirror of black hair with red streaks star back at me with shocked eyes. I automatically knew he had seen what I had been hiding since that morning.

Yeah, this day couldn't get any worse. But of course I was wrong because the day was just getting started with my torturous bad luck. But I was still so oblivious to it.


	3. Strange Encounter

**Strange Encounter-2 Thanks for the review/advice and for the views on the book so far they are all greatly appreciated!**

* * *

Alex Thorne's steal grey eyes peered at me from the reflection of the mirror in front of me. I paused at what I was doing and quickly shut off the tab of cold water and hid my cut behind a white paper towel.

All that seemed pointless considering he had already seen what an injury I caused myself.

He continued to stare at me with shock in his eyes."Gareki, Right?" He asked me which kind of made me surprised. I had one hundred percent thought he would ask to see my cut but that didn't mean I should let my guard down.

Why would he want to know my name. Possibly so he could tell the coach what was on my wrist and then I'd get a bunch of questions and stares from my class mates forcing me to reveal what had actually happened , even if it turned out as a lie I still didn't want to go through with it. I couldn't let it happen. I stayed quiet as the question he had asked me lingered in the air until it became thin with awkwardness. Not for me but for him, I was completely comfortable with the silence.

Alex sighed. He shut the door to the men's locker room and walked up to me."Let me see it..." He said firmly.

I squinted my eyes at him. Who did he think he was. Ordering me around like this.

"You've seen enough." I stated flatly. But he was persistent, I gave him credit for that. In a quick grab my arm was in his grip exposing the wet paper towel covering it but then it dropped to the tile floor and splattered only to reveal my angry red mark.

"What the hell?!" I snapped and practically pulled my arm away quickly, but it had been to late, he had already seen what he needed and I hated him for it. He had witnessed something from me that no one else had before, I got angry and at that moment I shoved him to the ground harshly. He looked up at me surprised not expecting my rough actions.

I crouched over him and yanked him by the shirt. "Listen, I don't give a fuck if you're new but step into my business like that again and I'll kick your ass next time if you do something stupid like that. Got It!"

He stared at me wide eyed before he closed them and let out a laugh. A short. Quiet. Laugh. I wandered what the hell was so funny after I had threatened him.

He stopped his unnecessary chuckling and smirked up at me. He then got to his feet and dusted himself off. I myself let go of his shirt to cross my arms over my chest. Marring a glower on my face. I wasn't in the mood for dealing with this "new guy" and it only made me angrier that he found something funny about me that he had to ignore my threat like it had been nothing.

This Thorne guy was getting very close to being on my shit list. If he already wasn't.

He looked back up at me having a more composed body language this time."I guess the people in English Lit were right about you, that you **are** aloof when it comes to people. Especially the new. Kind of makes me wonder what you are hiding, Although I did find that cut wound on you, which by my guess. . . you were hiding." Alex Thorne sounded so completely sure of himself and self confident that it was like he had completely written off me shoving him a minute ago.

I scowled at him."If you value not getting into a fight on the first day of high school then pretend you didn't see a thing."

He leaned against the wall and stared at me long and hard. This result made me angrier." What's your problem?"

"I like you." He stated simply without hesitation. "Not in that way...possibly... but something about you seems worth my interests. He said the last part slowly as if he was thinking about it. I felt a strange heat escalate to my face. He had finally caught me off guard on that statement.

"What—"

"Tell me something, Why do you like being alone? I heard it from a group of people, you normally are cold and distant to those around you, did something hap—"

I connected my fist with his jaw and watched him fall to the floor. Feeling a panic deep in my chest as he was asking to many personal questions about me.

Alex reached up slowly and dabbed under his nose. Pulling it back he revealed blood.

I breathed harshly suddenly over whelmed with the situation. Why had he asked me all those questions? Did he know something about me already!? He wasn't supposed to, no one was supposed to know about my life. How could this have happened. I had been so carful to hide my life and my personal feelings towards the students and staff at this school, so how? Even if there were times when I would have to reveal something about my life at home I always kept it at a minimum so people wouldn't figure me out.

I was snapped out of my consternation and pulled back into reality once the bell had rung through my ears like an echo vibrating in my brain. I raked my hand threw my fringe of black hair and quickly walked passed Alex who was now picking himself up from the tile floor just as the guys came in.

Slightly sweaty from playing sports and activities.

I dressed myself quickly and rewrapped my exposed cut with out a word or glance over to Alex who had been yet again staring at me. I then snuck my way out of the locker room and out the exit of the gymnasium, leading me outside to the huge football field and bleachers.

The sun was hidden behind the clouds preparing the atmosphere for a drenching rain later. I could feel the wind turn degrees colder as it blew at me, whipping my hair to the side. Black strands landing in front of my eyes as I walked onto the turf and under the bleachers until I finally rested my back against the pole holding the seating up.

I sighed while leaning my head back against the cold medal. Closing my eyes I reflected on what had just happened. Alex Thorne, not much to be said about him except him being a nosy piece of shit and that he was persistent. What was wrong with him. I never dealt with a person that confronted me about my personal business.

No one, and I mean **no one** had ever talked to me that way before especially to an extent where I panicked under the pressure of being figured out. I never told anyone that I cut myself on purpose all because of my fathers actions that messed me up inside. I didn't know what it was but, that night...That night that I saw him it changed something in me that I had never felt before. Was it hysteria, disgust, or just...pain. Whatever it was...I didn't know but I had issues that I simply couldn't concern anyone with or vice versa. Besides I didn't think anyone would understand. Not even Alex. IF he found out about it anyway. Which he wouldn't, I'd never let him. Nor anyone else.

* * *

I had eventually went back inside for my next class. Which was geometry I focused on the equations, slopes, and odd math symbols but my brain didn't stay as focused as I had wanted it to, this had occurred often in all of my classes which summed up the fact of why I was failing this semester, it was all because of him, my dad.

I kept thinking about him, Why had he been acting the way he had that night. Was he just getting sick of my mother or just bored of her? I recalled her actions from the past weeks before the incident I had witnessed going on the car with my dad and the women that hadn't been my mom.

She had been a lovable everyday mother from the start. I didn't understand why my dad wanted to move on with another women. Was mom not providing the love that he wanted. . .or was it something selfish like sexual desires he wanted...I figured that must have been it. He was bored with the average every day relationship so he moved on to some one active who actually wanted to do it more then average.

I clenched my pencil in a disgusted grip as I came to this conclusion. I knew it was supposed to be a parents business to handle a marriage relationship but I so desperately wanted to warn my mother of what he had done behind her back. But there was a problem with that idea. She was too loyal, hell she wouldn't believe a word I said especially If I admitted that the love of her life was with someone else.

I sighed in defeat.

My geometry class was dismissed to lunch where I sat alone outside staring up at the clouds, nibbling at an apple not really feeling hungry. Most of my days went like this just me caught up in my thoughts to caught up in them to notice what was around me. The everyday loud noise of students chatting or joking around filled my ears but didn't cause me to move as I focused on the subject that had taken over my mind in geometry. I hadn't seen Alex in my classes until the day reached to an end and I found myself sitting in 7th period with Alex sitting across from me at a different table. He hadn't acknowledged me at all since the bell for the start of class rang out over the chatting voices.

I wasn't relieved yet since the incident from earlier still had me fuming and in a slight fit of panic but physics made me get through those emotions and take my mind off of them as if they hadn't been there in the first place making me relax and feel comfortable with my surroundings until the last bell of the day rung through my ears.

I stood up and grabbed my books for the class and made my way out of the physics eventually going down to hall B-3 where my locker was. I did my combo and sat my physics book down inside and grabbed my back pack closing my locker I made my way down the hall and pass other students who were eager as much as me to get out of Westlyn High.

But of course like always there was a traffic of these students who were **too** eagerto get out of school. I stared at them plainly annoyed. I turned around nonchalantly as to not get noticed and quickly sped walked down another hallway which lead be to descend down a small stair case that would lead me out side after I turned one more corner. Of course no student was allowed back here but I had found this path when skipping class one day.

As I rounded the corner I felt and saw a leather black fingerless glove clamp around my mouth and quickly pulled my aside with the persons other hand into a dark staff closet before shutting the door.

Darkness surround me as I slapped the hand away from my mouth. Getting my phone out of my pocket I turned on it's flashlight and brought it up to the attractive face of...Alex Thorne.

His grey eyes sparkled with the light shining against his pupils. He had apparently done the same to me. The bright light from his phone nearly blinded me.

I winced as the bright light hit me and I backed up hitting a shelf- or should I say shelves of cleaning supplies. Now that looked around my surroundings I realized the air smelled thick with sour cleaning chemicals. It stunk, Cleaning supplies were never really my favorite thing to breath in.

I ignored the shelves and glared at the "new guy" in front of me.

"Why?" I asked with a shrug, clearly I felt an angry frown cross over my face.

"You need to tell me why you did this?" He pointed at his nose which adorned a single white bandage on the top. He didn't sound as much angry but more concerned. "And why—"

"Is it broken?" I asked interrupting his next question.

He rose an eyebrow," No. "He said slowly in confusion.

My shoulders sagged in disappointment. "That's a shame." I said crossing my arms.

He gaped slightly at my rudeness, once again taken aback by it. He might as well have gotten used to it, I was like this with everyone.

He sighed before asking again. " You need to tell me why you did this?" He pointed at his nose again and then he grabbed my injured left arm and held it up between both of us so he and I could see it. "And you need to tell me how this happened?"

"No." I snapped, I snatched my arm away from his grip once again that day. What was with him in grabbing me. I felt a warm sensation where his touch had been on my skin but dismissed it."What is with you?"

"I should be asking you." He said crossing his arm over his chest turning the tables on me.

I shook my head. "You need to stay away from me, I need to go to my bus now." I said turning away from him before grabbing the door knob.

"Hey, wait a sec." He said grabbing my shoulder which I roughly shrugged off and turned towards him quickly. Our faces inches apart." I made myself clear when I said stay away from me. What don't you get from that?!" I snapped lowly at him my voice like venom.

He gave me a skeptical look with a squint of his eyes boring into my own, they were intense but I could handle his gaze." You're a lot more deferent then I thought you were, it's strange. He continued to give me that skeptical intense look it felt as though he was looking into me and seeing all of my secrets.

I glared at him before my eyes looked down at his lips.

I inhaled sharply and backed away quickly from our closeness and from the weird thought I just had. I walked backwards and shook my head slowly."Stay. Away. From. Me. Last time I'm saying it!"

He continued to stare at me with that haunting look that distracted my mind as I walked to the exit and ran to my bus almost missing it the second time that day.

I wondered what was his deal, why was he so strange And didn't that punch from earlier phase him to stay **away** from me. I guess I needed to be more forward, I wasn't going to allow a person to break down my personal walls.

At least I thought I wasn't at the time...


	4. inflicted Apon Me

**Inflicted Apon Me-** **3**

* * *

I stepped off the bus and walked onto the side walk, right in front of my house as the bus drove off down the road to the other neighboring homes and subdivisions. I turned my attention back to my house.

I unlocked the door with my key and went inside closing it behind me before I walked into the kitchen to get to the stair case that led up to the bed rooms. It was then that I had noticed the quietness surrounding me. There wasn't a sound to be heard through out the house. If you could count the refrigerator humming with it's motor. Of course it was a very often sight to see the house to be empty with only me in it since my parents worked until late.

Of course I didn't have a problem with it, it gave me time to think and relax myself. Not to mention actually practice my guitar without causing to much of a ruckus.

I looked around into the family room for one last check before I made my way up the dark wooden stairs, hearing them creek under my feet. Once I got into my room I threw off my jacket and backpack before I landed on the bed face first. I thought about my unusual day at school, remembering the strange "new guy" who had pulled me into the janitors closet just to ask me why I had cut myself and why I had punched him earlier in gym. I recalled the strange words he said to me in gym.

"Did he really like me?" I muttered to myself. I felt the tense feeling of heat rising to my face as I thought further about it. He had said "maybe". But then again... what was I thinking? I told myself I didn't have time for stuff like that. Crushing, I mean. . . especially on another guy-

I felt my heart jerk against my chest as I came to realize. I was crushing on Alex Thorne...of all people, why him?! The shock from it left me stunned to realize I was. . . gay. I stared at the wall wide eyed as I thought further about it. I had never noticed this aspect about myself before. Was I really, no- that wasn't like me. I mean I had no problem saying what I thought to other people I was just born blunt, but to admit to myself that I had been into guys this entire time was hard to digest.

I had never really showed any relationship interests in girls, at least when I was younger but as I grew older I obliviously started showing a spark of affection for the male sex, It only shocked me more once I realized I hadn't just gotten into this feeling but I had been absentmindedly liking guys for a long while. More then I had realized.

I pushed back my hair still not believing my own reveling thoughts. After I waited a moment to collect and calm myself I decided to label my interests with Alex to just be a fling, a fling that didn't mean anything.

Sure I liked him now but those feelings were going to diminish in a matter of days. But I couldn't help but to question why I had fallen for Thorne out of all the other guys in school.

He was good looking. Sure. But that didn't feel like the true reason. Was it because he had faced me more times then any other person had ever done in the entire three years I had been enrolled in Weslyn High. Truth be told he had tried to interrogate me twice that day and he had talked to me more then anyone else had in just this one day, usually no one talked to me. He was...different, that must have been the reason why I found feelings for him.

I sincerely stared down at my bandaged wrist only to snap myself out of my daze. I got up and slammed my fist against the wall bringing my forehead against it before closing my eyes. No. I reached up a hand and covered my face with it. What is wrong with me? He's just like every one else. Idiotic class mates who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves or the specific social groups they put themselves into, he could never understand what I'm going through even if I told him the true reasons why I cut myself on purpose. I sighed and walked over to my electric guitar sitting in it's stand. I grabbed the long handle and swung the strap over my head so it hung around my neck.

I crouched down and pluged in my bass and connected an extension cord from my guitar to the bass itself to make the sound louder. I then stood up and placed my pale fingers atop the correct cords of the shiny black head of my instrument and played to my hearts content at least until the bothersome thoughts of that day went away into the far off debts of my mind. The enjoyable sound vibrated through out my room and pulsed in my body with a small spark of excitement.

I strummed and placed my fingers in quick motions along the thin silver strings that let out a piercing sound that cut the air around me. I had been practicing so much in my room for the past few months that I was able to move my fingers in the letter positions among the strings more frequently with a quick unhesitant finger play. I was way faster then when I had started out with three years ago.

I closed my eyes and rocked my head to the sound that I was emitting letting my black fringe fan over my face reaching down to the tip of my nose. I refused to cut the sharp black strands of my own hair even though my mom wanted me to get a hair cut, I wouldn't allow it.

I played my afternoon lessons to myself until night fall came. Well... enough that the sun was still over the horizon. I strummed one last note before I heard the front door open from down stairs and soon footsteps came into the house.

I suspected it was mom since dad didn't come home until late. _All the reasons of how he was cheating on mom is what I suspected._ I dropped my guitar back into it's stand and unplugged the bass completely before stepping down the stair case to greet my mom.

I stepped onto the dark wooden floor into the kitchen and turned around the corner to walk in the entrance hallway only to see my dead beat father making out with another women. My dads back was facing me while the women he was kissing had a full view point of my aggravated expression. Her eyes widened slightly and then she pushed herself away from my dad who in turn asked her what was the matter. She then with a very shiny polished nail pointed at me.

My dad turned around shock taking over his face. He turned back to the women and excused himself from her. He turned back to me pathetically." Lets have a chat son," he said urging me with a hand on the small of my back into the kitchen where I pulled myself away from his touch and sat on the wooden stairs, elbows resting on both of my thighs as my hands drooped in between my spread out legs.

My dad pinched the bridge of his nose in a thoughtful manner with one arm crossed over his chest he then looked up at me quickly and surprising hissed at me as he yelled just below a whisper." What are you doing here?"

I was perplexed by his outburst. What did he mean "what was I doing here?" I got out of school before either of them got out of work. He knew this.

"I get out of school before you get off of work. Remember?" I snapped back, annoyed that he had brought another women into the house that wasn't my mother.

"Don't get loud at me." He slurred getting all up in my face. I could smell the alcohol off of his breath and it made me sick, so sick in fact I shoved him away causing him to take a few steps back and hit against the chair that belonged to the dinner table. He hissed quietly in pain as his side hit against the hard wooden part of the chair.

I didn't feel remorse for him one bit, the scene in front of me only made me smirk with approval. I watched as he gave me an angry look and walked out of the kitchen, I heard him speak to the women telling her he'd see her the tomorrow night. I squinted my eyes in disgust he was going to keep seeing her even if his own son had witnessed him cheating.

I heard the front door close as the women said her flirtatious good bye.

I stood up on the stairs as I heard "The Man" come back into the kitchen and face me again. I decided to call him that from now on not feeling the need to call him my father. He pointed at me as he rounded the corner.

"Don't think that you're not in trouble for that little stunt! I think you could learn a lot if you were grounded and I don't mean in your room I mean out side, I know how much you'd like to stay in your room but know that I pay the bills around here! And you're going to show me respect!"

I turned around making my way up the stairs again. "Some respect, and why should I do that? You're a sorry excuse of a father and you're ordering me around after I just witnessed you kiss that women that wasn't mom, don't think that you have the nerve to be mad at me I'm the one who should be yelling at you for doing something so stupid!" I snapped continuing my way upstairs. I ignored his earlier saying about me being grounded and sleeping out side. The hell was wrong with him?

I had been to caught up in my thoughts to realize a quick stomping coming up the steps and I failed to keep my balance as my hair was yanked back forcing my head back, I fell down the stairs rolling hard and painfully on the hard wood until I felt the cold surface of the wooden floor below me and the throbbing pain in my back and head. My vision went spinning as I felt a strong tug on my shirt and I was thrown onto the hard carpeted floors of the family room I groaned as I landed uncomfortable.

My vision grew blurry until I somewhat focused on the black work shoes in front of my eyes. I tried to pick myself up but I was disregarded with that action as I felt a swift kick in my gut that washed all the air from my lungs. I let out a harsh grunt before breathing in quick patterns through my open mouth, trying to fill my lungs again even with the painful ache my abdomen gave every time my stomach moved upwards, but once more my actions were halted as soon as I felt a hard slap across my face.

It threw me to the side from it's force. I coughed harshly as I finally regained air in my lungs from the slap that left my cheek tingling from how hard it had been. I looked around myself as my body ached with the new set of unsettling pain that hadn't been caused by a knife this time.

"You have some nerve, boy!" spoke the drunken voice of "The Man" above me. I was in shock as realization hit me. He had hit me! caused all this pain on me, and for what, I was only stating the truth. Never in my life had either of my parents laid a finger on me but now my dad seemed to not care about that any more.

"Oh and by the way, your mother will be gone for the night and as for tomorrow night as well, she was called on a business trip and will be back on Wednesday. So now we get to finally spend some quality time together. Just you...and me." His voice was rugged and had no sympathy for what he was currently doing to me.

I shivered from the words that ran past his lips so freely with such a tense edge to them that they made me slightly frightened. What was he planning to do while she was gone. Just the obviousness in his voice made me think he was going to keep hitting me.

But all thoughts of it ceased once he yanked me by my hair again. Pain coursed through my body as he did this, dragging me like I was nothing but a dog that had lost it's way.

I yelled at him to stop as I gripped his wrist and tried to get his tight hold away from my scalp. I only screamed in response as he threw my head against the wall causing my vision to see stars and black dots, I was disoriented. The threat of tears stung my eyes as he roughly continued to yank at me but this time by my shirt pulling me forward close to his face where I could smell the stench of his alcoholic breath once again.

"I may be drunk but I still realize that you can rat out on what you've seen me do tonight. So let me make a deal for you."

My breathing was harsh as it came out in quiet huffs. I was still in so much pain that I still couldn't breath straight. If I breathed in to much my sides would emit an ache that had been caused from falling down the stairs but I had to force myself to breath since I so desperately needed it after what had just happened.

You tell **no one** about this or else I'll hurt her much worse then I'm doing to you now...," His grip tighten around my shirt. His alcoholic breath was all I could smell at this point. I knew what he was talking about. He planned to hurt my mother, his own wife just to keep a stupid secret of having sex with other women unknown, it angered me but I hesitated to show it as I considered his words.

What was happening, how had this escalated so quickly into something so bad. I thought about his words and I reluctantly said I would keep this a secret between us knowing that I couldn't go to the police since the very man hitting me worked as the top boss of the station he would figure it out immediately and then he would kill her. I wasn't about to be selfish when it came to my mom, I didn't care what happened to me but to her was whole different story.

"The Man" let go of me and I fell against the floor and grunted in pain as I hit my back too hard for comfort.

"Good." was all he said before walking off up the stairs as I heard the creaking sound of they made whenever weight was but onto them. I picked myself up off the floor slowly and painfully. The amount of pain I was feeling ached my entire body as I limped and leaned against the rail on the stairs holding me as a support. I couldn't believe what had just happened, it all felt so unreal but the tears rolling down my red face caused me to believe that every second had indeed happened.

 _He's just drunk...He's drunk. It'll be okay by tomorrow_. I tried to tell myself in thought to relieve the panic deep inside but my mind argued with me that things wouldn't be getting better. My day had officially gotten worse and I hadn't seen it coming until to late. It had already happened and now it would continue until I decided a course of action.


	5. Kept Hidden

**Kept Hidden-4**

* * *

I woke up the next morning. Surprising myself last night when I could still climb up the stairs from how much my body ached from the unexpected thrashing I had gotten from "The Man" last night. I still had that nick name for him, not wanting to call him my father through my own lips anymore. Or **_think_ ** of him ever being a father.

My body was left with a mild ache as I moved my limbs to push myself from the comfortable covers of my bed to get ready for the next day of school. I had spent last night taking a bath to loosen my tight muscles from their pain, so that would be the cause of them not hurting as much.

Of course my head hurt still with a thud that matched the pulse of my heart beat as I got out of my comfort zone, which was my bed. I only hoped the headache wouldn't last all day. I made my way into the bathroom across the hall quietly as to not wake up "The Man" in the next room down the hallway. I slowly shut the door behind me and walked over to the sink where a mirror stuck to the wall above it. Even though my bath last night had softened most of the pain on my body it didn't relieve all of it. The aching specifically came from my abdomen now. I lifted up my shirt to find two red bruises caused by me falling down the hard wooden stairs all because that fucker had yanked me by my hair.

I stood still for a moment still in bewilderment at what had happened. I hadn't believed it, in fact I tried to convince myself what had happened last night was all a dream— a figment of my own imagination. But that wasn't likely. Apparently my body didn't feel the need to let what had happened last night pass that easily, my mind told me it hadn't been a dream, The still aching muscles of my body proved to me the truth of that. But that didn't make me think he had done this on purpose, maybe he was really drunk and didn't realize what he was do—

"What the hell am I thinking," I said angrily to myself stopping my thoughts mid sentence. Of course he knew what he was doing! He fucking hit me and dragged me like some crazy animal. Either under the influence of alcohol or not I began to believe that my father that had stolen my mothers heart years ago wasn't afraid to inflict pain on me. But why had he started now? I had done plenty of childish and worthless bad things when I was younger and he **never** once lifted a finger at me, but now that I'm older., it was a whole different story, he's possible. . . intimidated?

I felt the emotion of anger once I had recalled what he had said about hurting my mother. She didn't deserve that and the only way I could keep her safe was to not spill what had happened last night and that meant I needed to keep my bruises a secret along with the healed cut on my left wrist. Even though that hadn't been caused by my dad.

I cringed at the word **"Dad"**.

He was no father of mine after what he had done to me. And I wouldn't forgive him by a long shot. I dropped my T-shirt back over my stomach and did my normal morning routine until I was cleaned, dressed, and had taken care of hiding my injuries to avoid unwanted questions and stares.

Doing this reminded me of the "New Guy" yesterday. He was way too persistent and strange. I shook my head having to think of something else to get him out of my head.

I shrugged my back pack over my shoulder and exited my room going down the stairs and for sure I wasn't late for my bus this morning. I could tell since my watch read 6:36 when my bus came at 6:45.

I had extra time to spare, so I decided to head for the kitchen and get a quick breakfast idem, such as fruit or something along those odds. But once I stepped all the way down the stairs and turned my head to look up at the counter I saw **him** standing there with a mug of coffee in his hand reading into a news paper.

Great he was already awake.

My nerves kicked in at that moment and I felt my stomach twist with anticipation. I did my best to ignore him as I walked past him and looked into the pantry and pulled out a Nutri fruit bar. I shut the door behind myself and made my way to exit the kitchen when he called out to me.

I stopped abruptly, not turning around. I heard his footsteps from behind as he walked over to me and stopped close enough I could feel his breath fan atop my head. I tensed preparing for an impact. But...nothing happened.

"You remember our talk last night don't you," he asked rather calmly then he had been last night.

...

I didn't say anything but that proved to be a big mistake causing a strong smack against my skull that threw me off balance and onto the floor with a thud.

I groaned and grabbed for my head but that movement was dejected as I felt him kick me in my back. Hard. I let out a pained sound as my aching muscles in that area hadn't recovered from the thrashing from last night.

"You answer me next time boy or I'll go against our deal. Now, I asked you a question. Do You Remember?" He yelled at me like I was some damn animal that couldn't understand English.

I quickly nodded my head not wanting him to put aside our deal.

"Good then, you know not to tell anyone what happened here don't you?" his voice came out menacing with a tense edge of warning if I didn't agree but I nodded all the same just to keep his temper on good terms just so he wouldn't get angry.

"Good, you can go to school now. Oh! and I sure hope your grades are good, you wouldn't want **this** to happen again." the fucker walked away, back into the kitchen to drink his coffee and read the news paper.

I let out a struggled breath and got to my feet slowly with the new aching pain in my back. I exited the house without another word of exchange from either of us. I walked down the winding drive way of my house and walked the sidewalk to my bus stop.

I soon found myself staring out the window of my bus watching the neighboring houses pass by.

I knew I was in for another beating once I got home again, because I knew my grades weren't good. They hadn't been good for weeks now ever since I witnessed that incident happen with him and that women in the car.

I needed to escape what was to happen to me once I got home that evening but how?

* * *

I walked into my English Lit class that had barley any people in it— actually let me rephrase that, there were no people in the class. I guess I had decided to come to class too early just to enjoy the quiet before my class mates ruined it. I pulled my seat from under my desk and lazily sat down immediately laying my throbbing head on my folded arms that were atop the desk, not at all caring that my book had fallen to the floor.

Doing this I relaxed my muscles and I was overwhelmed with the feeling of relaxation as they eased their painful tightness on me. I didn't know how I would cope with gym today, which by my luck was next period. I was being sarcastic. It was no where near lucky, especially since the painful ache I was experiencing right now wasn't going away entirely. The more I thought about gym I remembered that today we were assigned to do the work out sessions which consisted of way to much running, pushups and other physical abilities and that would all last till the very end of class.

I released a loud groan of disfavor at over working my body just by the first round of running laps on the track. But my groan turned into a slight unexpected moan as I felt a firm hand rub my back soothing the painful ache even more.

"Are you alright?" Asked that same familiar voice I knew from yesterdays introduction. I quickly snapped my head up causing it to hit Alex Thorne in his now un-bandaged nose. I had to of broken it this time or it was probably going to end back up in a bandage. He shouldn't have been leaned over me.

"Ow, you really like to hurt me don't you," he groaned as he pulled his hand away from my back and reached up to hold his nose. His attractive features cringing up in discomfort. I stared at him, for a bit too long. I turned away as the thoughts of crushing on him entered my mind like it had yesterday evening.

I told myself I wouldn't feel like this when I saw him today but that hadn't worked out.

He lowered his hand away from his nose." You're on edge, what's wrong," he asked again.

I sighed." You don't listen do you," I asked redirecting the subject. I looked at him from the corner of my eye.

He raised a black eyebrow. This only made me annoyed. I turned my head to face him completely." I told you to stay away from me. I seriously don't understand how you can just keep coming up to me like everything's cool between us. I **don't** even know you!"

"Relax, Okay," He said calmly. He walked backwards until he reached and sat down in the seat behind me and continued to talk." I only want to ask you one thing?"

My lips tightened as I expected it to be a question about my private life and remembering the words my **dad** had said, he told me to keep what had happeed at home a secret and not to tell anyone. So you could see my reasons of why I was fuming.

Alex picked up on my growing anger and held his hands up in defense." It's not about you, I swear."

" Then what," I said harshly.

"We need to get started on that project. You know?... About the interview?"

"I'm not your partner." I snapped.

"You don't have a partner." He stated.

"Duh, I work faster when I'm alone," I said to him.

He looked at me skeptically. "So you—"

"I'm done," I interrupted him." All of it." I continued slowly.

"Really? He said with a laugh in his voice, still with that skeptical look on his face. He gave me an amused smirk which made me look away and sort of blush.

I sighed again and pulled out my backpack, unzipped it and took out my worksheets of the interview project and shoved it in front of his face. It hadn't hit him but it came close to doing so.

Once again he raised an on fleek eye brow as he examined my fake work. I did say I would make up a person and write down random info. I improvised since I couldn't get a partner to do it with, nor did I want a partner.

"Well then I have to say congratulations because this here is so obviously— fake." Alex said breaking me out of my thoughts. He had been staring at my papers for at least 3 minutes examining them carefully. Of course I let him since stupid me let down his guard and now the "New Guy" found out it was a fake. So I tried to trick him off topic.

"No It isn't."

"It is. I can tell since you used a fake name. Trust me I've done this plenty of times and the teacher will completely realize all of this is done without a **real** person. You're going to need my help. He offered, his voice was completely still amused by my actions of trying to trick him again.

He stared at me. He was smart, I gave him that much.

I glared at him not saying a word. I scowled and dropped my paper onto my desk. To annoyed and inflicted apon to argue my defense, I crossed my arms and sank low in my chair like some immature kid but I still didn't care." Fine, you got me. But think again if you think I'm going to be your partner."

Alex got out of the chair that was behind me and sat in the chair that was next to me that had been assigned to him and stared my way With a long ever lasting glance that I myself had given him minutes before. _Great, now he's doing this to me again. The staring..._

I tried to ignore it but even I had had enough at some point. I turned my head his way.

"What the hell do you want from me," I snapped. I couldn't take his unblinking steal grey eyes peering at me any longer.

"How about it," He said nonchalantly.

I squinted my eyes." What do you mean?"

"Working with me, on this assignment." He sounded yet again so confident and unsettled by my disapproving look even if I had literally just said I wouldn't work with him like 2 minutes ago. But deep down in my chest I couldn't stop the sudden lurch of excitement from my heart at getting to interact with him. I felt heat lift up to my face forming into a blush once more.

I could then see the sexy smirk that formed on his full lips as he saw the redness invade my face. I shook my head before turning away, forcing myself to calm down. How ridiculous could I get? Showing an imbarrassing weakness in front of **him...** of all people! But then again why would I care? I never once in my life had ever let people effect me of how they thought of me. I was losing my edge. This was the first time I ever considered Alex seeing me in my embarrassed stature. The first time I had actually cared about what he thought of me.

I needed him to get away from me or else other people would think I was approachable and then I'd end up with more people just like him...People who would be persistent to know about me and my private life. I couldn't let that happen.

"So, do you?" Alex yet again pulled me from my thoughts.

I looked at him dazed before replying calmly but still with an edge that said "don't come near me again".

"No, never in your life. You're lucky we're in class right now or else I would seriously hit you."

Alex didn't seem taken aback by my threat instead he asked." Why would you hit me? Yesterday you only said If I asked or got into your private business then you would do that, I didn't ask you anything private, I made sure."

I was about to say something further but that was when I heard the murmurs of students from our class come into the once silent room and after that the bell rang. I hadn't noticed him leaning over towards me until I felt the heat of his warm breath on my ear.

"We'll continue this later, Gareki."

The ear he had whispered into tingled with slight pins and needles and my face had heated once again as I realized he said my name, It had sounded so natural so defined and perfect and I wondered how had he known it? I didn't recall ever telling him or maybe the teachers had said it aloud but I just didn't notice he was around to hear it. I clenched my hands into fists. _Get it together Gareki! You're not falling for him, it's just a fling nothing more then that._

I truly wanted to believe those words that I had thought but of course my feelings for Thorne only grew more and more each passing moment we were in close proximity with each other.

I failed to realize how bad this would turn out for me if my dad found out.


	6. Left Broken

**Left Broken-5**

* * *

Gym period was rough as I had suspected it would be. I had geared up in my gym clothing wearing a black sleeveless T shirt, black workout shorts and running sneakers. We were required to wear black elastic guards on our arms that stretched from our elbow to our wrists to keep our muscles from aching through out the workout sessions which by my luck gave a good enough hiding spot for the medium sized scar on my left wrist.

I was already panting for breath once our lap run was over and done with. Sprint all the way around the track for the mile run, it left my body tired and aching. The black guards on both of my arms hadn't helped like the coach had said. I knew it wouldn't of, truth is I only wore them to hide my injuries.

I sighed a final breath before standing up strait letting the sun glare down on my face as I looked up at the clear sky. I felt annoyed that we had to do workouts in such a heat. I closed my eyes and leaned my head down in an attempt to calm down my fast beating heart from the long run.

It was then I felt a cold sensation on my bicep. My eyes opened to look at the face of Alex smiling down at me. I gave him one of my bored looks. This guy just wouldn't leave me alone no matter how much I stressed it. I threatened him once but of course it hadn't been enough to push him away. Hell we were already doing that interview project with each other and now he had offered to be my partner for the workout sessions going on now.

"Here," he said to me, handing over the water bottle. I took it slowly, still staring at his attractive face that was lined with a small layer of sweat. I turned away from him finally and opened the water bottle only to hold it upwards and close my eyes as I splashed it's cold contents on my face.

It felt better, a lot better actually to have something cold against my hot skin. After I was done making sure I had at least half a bottle of water left for drinking I shook my head from side to side slowly to get rid of the access water. My black hair fanned over my eyes and forehead as I did this. Coming to a stop I screwed the cap back on the bottle only to feel Alex's eyes on me.

Turns out he had been starring at me the whole time. A mesmerized look was on his face as I turned to look at him in question.

I raised an eyebrow at him." What?"

"Nothing," he replied turning away.

I stared at him. I was about to say something but then the coach's whistle rang out through the football field calling us in.

We both walked over to the middle of the field and waited for instructions as the rest of the class walked over as well.

The coach ordered us to do as many sit ups as we could do with our partners and we all set ourselves in an empty area among the large football field.

"You want to go first?" Alex asked me as we walked to an empty space. I shrugged my shoulders not really caring who went first.

"Whatever,." I answered. I sat myself onto the turf and laid down onto my back and crossed my arms into an X over my chest, making sure my hands were gripping my shoulders for the proper way of doing sit ups. I felt Alex's hands press down on the top of my sneakers as he held them down.

"Ready?" He asked, looking over me. I blushed slightly noticing our close position with each other but I nodded all the same not being able to trust my voice afraid that it would crack under the sheer embarrassment. I hadn't thought it all the way through when I agreed to go first.

I heard the coach's whistle ring out to begin our session and then I began my sit ups forcing myself up even through the pain emitting from my back as it grew hard to sit myself upwards each time. All the while Alex's steal grey eyes stared down at me unmoving from my expressionless face. Every time I sat up I found our faces inches apart. Him not bothering to move back as they did. It was like he was trying to make the heated blush on my face grow.

He seemed to stare right through me as my face cringed at a slight pain on my upper back. He raised an eyebrow."Are yo—"

"I'm fine," I said quickly. A bit too quickly.

Because of my forwardness he seemed skeptical to believe that I actually was fine. His face hardened slightly as I continued doing my sit ups, pushing myself despite the pain as best I could until he let go of me.

I laid back down on my back and panted glad that I could rest my muscles. I wiped my forehead before averting my eyes over to him."Why... did you... stop?" I breathed.

"I can't do this," He said shaking his head. He got to his feet and crossed his arms." I can't be your partner."

I sat up strait and looked up at him and as he said this I felt a small pang of unease.

"Why?" I asked plainly. My voice betrayed the real feelings I was experiencing deep down. I wanted him to be my partner but the other part of me wanted him to leave me alone I was ripped into two emotions all at once. What was wrong with me?

"You're obviously hurt— aren't you? Don't lie." he said with an edge to his voice that sounded impatient.

But I did anyway.

"No." That was obviously the wrong thing to do because the next thing I knew I was looking at his back as he walked away from me. I found myself getting to my feet quickly and jogged after him ignoring the pain in my back.

"Alex?" I called out to him but he made no move to stop. I was now walking by his side. Me having to speed walk as he tried to walk faster then me. He was angry I could tell but this was the first time I ever saw it. He didn't look like the person that would ever have this kind of emotion.

The coach didn't notice us slip into the school. We both walked into the gymnasium. I grabbed his shoulder having to turn him around to look at me. I mostly saw anger but the other emotion was of pity.

The pity sort of took me off guard because I hadn't expected to see that emotion on his face either. No one had ever given me such a look before.

I dropped my hand away from him before crossing my arms and sighed. "Why are you all of a sudden running away from me," I snapped.

"Why are you all of a sudden caring," He snapped back." I thought you wanted me to leave you alone."

"That is what I want but. . ." I couldn't finish.

"But what," He urged still sounding angry.

I glared at him." Why are you acting like this?"

Tch. He practically fake laughed in my face."Isn't it obvious?! It's you!"

I raised an eyebrow." Me?"

"You heard me. You always lie when there's obviously something going on with you! Why can't you just tell me—?"

"Because," I yelled and once more I wasn't able to finish my sentence afraid that I would give out to much info about the life or death secret that my father wanted me to keep to myself.

"Because what," He urged. Crossing his arms over his chest.

I looked into his eyes and saw the anger that I was causing and for a split second I was about to tell him everything that had happened to me but remembering what my dad had said about killing my mother I changed my mind quickly.

" I don't need to tell you shit! Stop getting in my business." I turned away from him and began to walk away but he continued to speak.

" There you go again you're running away. You're always running away from the things that will attempt to help you and then you get mad at the people around you blaming them for not sticking by you but you push them away. Just like you're doing to me now. I've got you figured out Gareki and you know what. . . I'll still ask how you got that cut on your wrist."

I stopped walking and turned to look at him angrily.

He had gone too far.

I raised my hand preparing it for the blow to his jaw but he had caught it and pushed it to the side directing his own punch to my jaw instead. I stepped back falling to the floor on my back feeling the pain on my nose. I looked down as my hair covered my eyes.

I brought my eyes up to look at him strait in his own just as a trail of blood ran from my nose. The pain made my face feel numb but I hadn't noticed it I was surprised that he had actually landed a good punch on me.

I glared up at him as I wiped the blood from my upper lip.

He shook his head." I didn't want to do that but you made me. You need to stop being so selfless and tell the people who want to help you about your problems. I really thought I liked you— that you could be a friend. A close friend. But now I see that you're just a loner who doesn't care about the people around you. Do the interview yourself, I don't want to be any where near you right now."

He walked past me and pushed onto the door leading to the football field before turning back to me." I hope you're happy because now you finally got what you wanted. I'm leaving you alone now." He walked outside and closed the door behind him not turning back to look at me at all.

I sat there feeling some kind of way. Broken, alone, and angry. Was it really over? He only wanted to be friends with me nothing more. I shook my head. He didn't know me. Not the real me who wanted to be normal like everyone else. The type of person who didn't want to keep secrets like the ones I had now. But most of what he said hit me hard. I did push people away and I did run away from the ones that tried to get too close to me, but how could they possible understand what I was going through?

They weren't my kind of people to be around to actually and physically understand what it meant to be abused, having to live life with hard decisions and actions to make. That was the kind of person I was hoping to meet but none of them could never match up to any of it.

My mind went back to Alex.

I didn't know if I could breathe at that moment. I felt like I had just broken up with a girl but this was a guy that I grew feelings for subconsciously. I clenched my jaw feeling the unexpected sting of tears enter my eyes as I knew our bond was long over. It didn't even last but 2 days. I guess it goes to show how selfish I really was.

I was only trying to protect myself and not only me, but my mother. He didn't understand anything, none of them ever did. People in this school were all the same they always think they knew stuff about me but they never fully understand, but I couldn't entirely blame Alex for what he said. Things were meant to keep secret and I couldn't tell him. I knew that for a fact now.

I shouldn't have gotten involved with a person and this was why I distanced myself from others. . .I didn't know why I had thought Alex would be any different. . .

The day went by quickly. I hadn't returned to the football field with the rest of the class for the workout sessions because I was avoiding him, the one guy who had tried to break my walls but failed. I went to my classes and focused on the lectures and notes as time continued to tick by without much notice of it. My 7th period was the hardest of all since Alex had the class with me. He sat right across from me at the next table over but I didn't spare a glance towards him, not even once. My mind became clouded with school work and upcoming assignments that needed to be done and turned in.

I felt that if I focused on my school work like I hadn't done in a long time that the memories from earlier that day would disappear from my mind forever. It worked to. I saw things more clearly with a perspective of common sense and I got a lot more work done in my classes which shocked the teachers. But I knew my grades wouldn't budge from their low scores until the next set of report cards came out. So I knew the beating was still coming for me once I got home.

I was glad "The Man" wasn't home yet once I stepped into my house later that day. I understood he would be back late and as for my mom she was still on her business trip. Normally her coming back would be early in the morning like at 2am I knew she wouldn't be home to witness me getting thrashed again by him.

I shut the front door behind me and took off my shoes as I walked through the entrance way and into the kitchen to go up the stairs and into my room shutting that door behind me as well.

I did my homework. Once again my mind clouded with school expectations as I did my Geometry equations and measured the shapes. Finally I came to my last bit of homework for my English Lit class. I stared at it as it reminded me of unwanted thoughts of Alex. I pushed them away and tucked away the assignment that was due next Monday, today was Tuesday so I had time to do it with someone else—No I would do it on my own, I didn't need anyone's help.

I looked out my window noticing the dark atmosphere and I knew my dad would be coming home soon. Evidence of this was when the front door opened right after I finished the thought. The adrenaline filled my body as I felt the small urge of panic take over me.

I was ready to get my beating again.


	7. Honesty

**Honesty-6**

* * *

I tensed up after hearing my name being called from down under. I slowly took in a calm breath before scooting out from my work desk and made my way out of my room.

I walked down the stairs in my normal speed trying to be unafraid about what was to come. I stepped into the entrance way to find my dad standing in front of the door reeking of alcohol with his hands on his hips, holding a slip of file paper in one of his hands.

I instantly felt hatred sink into me just by looking at him. He was drunk. How pathetic.

He held up the paper with the current grades I had for the semester like he had promised to show the night before. I wasn't at all surprised to see nearly all F's except for one D on the piece of file paper. I knew they wouldn't rise up until second semester where the damage of my lacking work wouldn't be such a bother.

"You didn't even try."He snapped at me as he walked— stomped towards me. I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was for the hard slap across my face, stinging like pins and needles as my head swung to the side at it's force.

"You think I'm going to pay the bills for some lazy kid? Well you got another thing coming." He yelled in my face. He grabbed me by my shirt and threw me down until I felt the hard surface of the floor beneath me hit my still aching back.

I let out an unexpected yelp of pain as the searing pain went through my body. But "The Man" ignored my cry all the same as he continued to inflict pain on me for getting such low scores. I felt him kicking me. It hurt and once more my body was aching with that same painful feeling.

I grabbed the wall slowly picking myself up. I could see the door in my spinning vision. Why didn't I just run you ask?

I bet while you're reading this you're wondering that right now...am I right? The answer to that is. I couldn't because If I did I knew what he would do, he would instantly kill my mom and I couldn't let that selfish act happen. If I disobeyed anything, then I would be punished for it, I knew he wasn't afraid to hurt either of us if he had to. It left me wondering once again why he had started to hurt me now out of our whole life time together.

I felt a swift kick to my gut sending me sprawling back to the hard wood floor. My throat emitted a scream but even that was blocked as he gripped my neck with his cold hands.

I shut my eyes tightly trying my hardest to not be swallowed by the darkness as I felt the instant need to pass out. No! No! My brain screamed at me to keep myself awake.

In an act to save my own life I did something stupid. I kicked him. I kicked him hard, hard enough that he quickly let me go to cradle his lower regions where the sun didn't shine.

"You Bitch," he screamed at me anger taking over his features as he crouched over in pain.

I quickly scooted myself away from him before I rushed to my feet to make my escape by running up the stairs. I felt a warmness invade my top lips as blood dropped from my nose.

I was about half way up the stairs when I felt him jerk on my ankle causing me to fall on the current step I was on. Earning myself a scratch from a nail that had been out of place.

I groaned as another searing pain lifted from the new cut on my cheek. I was dragged down the stairs until I was back into the kitchen. I fought against him as he put me in another choke hold— once I had figured out I couldn't breathe as freely.

"You would kill your own son?!" I screamed as I roughly fought against his grip.

Finally having enough of me fighting back, he threw me to the side where I crashed onto the floor but not without accidently knocking over glasses that crashed to the floor beside me almost cutting me if I hadn't of moved out of their way.

Loud cracks rang through my eardrums as glass after glass hit the floor before finally coming to a stop. After a few seconds I tried to get to my feet from my fetal position only to get glass in the palms of my hands. I cringed as I felt the sharp edges enter my flesh before quickly moving my hand away.

My father stopped in his walk towards me about the question I had asked. "You are no son of mine acting up in school like you have a say in it all. You practically can't be good enough for shit considering your grades. It's pathetic and an embarrassment," He said angrily.

I didn't know why I found his words to sting but perhaps it was the truth. All of it was. But then I realized that my bad behavior in school was caused because of this man in front of me now. He was the start of it all since he had cheated on my mom. He didn't understand how much that incident had affected me.

I clenched my hands into fist despite the glass. I glared up at him the anger taking over, I didn't care if he hit me again right now none of that mattered." It's your fault."

He was taken aback by my outburst.

I stood up slowly the glass falling loosely from my clothes." I saw you that night with that women in the car, you were having sex with her weren't you? Don't even try to lie to me."

"Who do you think you're talking to? I don't think it's any of your business especially at your age—"

"Do you not know how old I am, I'm fucking 17," I yelled at him. The emotion of anger building at his obliviousness." It is my business considering that I am your son!"

"You're no son of mine, I've told you that. Your behavior is out of line be prepared to sleep outside! I don't want you in this house tonight."

"Oh! So you can fuck those whores you bring over every night. You are a sick piece of shit!"

"I may be a sick piece of shit but at least I'm not a pathetic boy who is ungrateful for everything I've done for him. Now! like I said, you're sleeping outside."

"You're insane! Moms coming back in the morning and once she sees me outside then—"

"Then what," he interrupted. " You'll tell her I kicked you out because your behavior was out of line or that I hit you? That would be a bad move on your part since I could kill her if you say a damn word about this!"

My words caught in my throat. I had completely forgotten that he would literally kill her if I spilled the truth. I glared at him." I. Hate. You," I said slowly before going up the stairs and ignoring every word he said to me as I did. Slamming my bed room door behind me I grabbed my backpack, Jacket and some clothing I would need for school tomorrow since I knew he wouldn't let me in the house early in the morning. I threw all of my needed things into a black duffle bag. I then walked my way back down stairs fuming to the point where I could slam my bleeding fist into the wall.

I had taken care of the glass that had been in my hands but I wasn't able to clean them to well since my time was running short thanks to the banging of the asshole at the bathroom door.

I opened it to come face to face with him.

"So you're leaving," He said crossing his arms, eyeing the duffle bag on my shoulder.

"I'd rather leave for the night then sleep here with a fucked up man like you," I spat glaring daggers in his eyes. I could feel my jaw muscles set in place as I clenched my teeth together. I turned toward him before opening the front door.

"You may have hurt me but I swear you better not lay a finger on my mother. I'm not running I'll be back tomorrow."

He smiled thinly at me. I ignored him and left out the front door, the weight of panic and slight fear leaving my body at every step I walked away from the structure of my home taking it's place was a relieving feeling of calm since I wasn't near him anymore.

Only thing was, I didn't know where I was going. I just kept walking. The cold air of the night chilling my skin until I shivered at every touch it gave me making goose bumps roll up my entire body.

I stepped my way into a new subdivision from my hours long walk. I had checked my phone right when I had left to see the time. It had been only 8:01pm but now it was 12:00am.

I finally stopped walking to rest my legs. I stared at the ground to caught up wondering what I should do now when suddenly a bright light was brought up to my face blinding me and causing me to get scared a little as it happened unexpectedly.

"Whoa,"I yelped as I fell backwards on top of my duffle bag feeling lucky that I had landed on that instead of the concrete sidewalk since my back was still sore. Thanks to all the walking my body felt stiff and it all hurt from the painful beating I had gone through hours ago.

"Gareki," asked a voice I knew all to well and wasn't all that fond of at that particular moment.

The light disappeared from my eyes and I waited a few seconds until I could see properly. I then looked up into the face of Alex Thorne, standing there in a red hoodie and dark grey sweats with a pair of sneakers, he had used his phones flashlight to get a clear look at me.

I lifted up an arm to block the spot light from my eyes once again." Hey! Turn off the damn light."

He did as told and peered down at me in question. "What are you doing out here," He asked bitterly.

From the tone of his voice I could tell he wasn't at all fond of seeing me either. So we were both still mad at each other from the fight we had had earlier that day.

"Passing through."I lied with just as much bitterness. I couldn't help but remember the words he had said to me during our fight. He had only wanted us to be friends. But I clearly had feelings for him that I tucked away deeply once he had said that and since then I haven't thought about him one bit-until know.

He scanned over me noticing my bags. "Where do you think you're going in the middle of the night? it's practically morning right now." He said.

I glared at him, why was he always asking so many questions that would lead up to my secret? I quickly got to my feet feeling my body protest against the fast movement, my body only wanted to rest but here I was pushing myself. I needed to get away from Thorne but just as I took a step I felt my mind give away to blurry vision before I passed out right on the curb that happened to be in front of his house.

I felt a soft touch on my sore back massage the bruises I had on my skin.

I moaned as I found the tightness loosening the aching pain I had been experiencing for the whole day.

I reached my hand out ever so slowly over the floor. I found that I was laying on carpet and my hands were wrapped with some sort of cloth, I opened my eyes only a little bit seeing my hands wrapped in bandages they were cleaned from blood. I opened my eyes wider to see the room I was in, the carpet was the color white contrasting with my pale skin. The walls were nearly all covered in posters of random bands, pictures and ripped band T shirts. I could see Christmas lights hanging from the sealing against the wall but they weren't on since the room was already lit from the window.

I blinked a couple times as I heard a pop from a bottle before I heard it's slow contents spread over a hand before the pop was heard again, then the bottle was sat back onto the carpet flooring.

I noticed it was some sort of lotion and I soon felt the soft hands return again to my back sliding over my soft skin and the aching. I shut my eyes tightly not meaning to let out another moan.

"Jeez, you must have been sore, I still don't get why you hadn't bothered to tell me, now I feel bad for punching you," Said the voice of Alex Thorne above me. I snapped my eyes open and gasped as I sat up feeling his hands move away from my back.

"Alex," I said in surprise.

"The one and only," He said with a slight smile on his full lips not at all showing that he was bitter about seeing me anymore. I eyed his lips— I snapped out of my trance. "Where am I?"

"In my house. To be more specific, you're in my room."He explained nonchalantly.

I gaped slightly at this new found information. "Wha—"

"You passed out." He interrupted me.

I figured that had happened but I hadn't expected him to take me in, I suspected he'd be still pissed about what had happened between us yesterday. After all he was the one who had said he'd leave me alone just like I had wanted ever since he had transferred here. But I guess he had changed his mind for some reason.

"What time is it?"

"7:44 Am. . . Why?"

"I missed my bus already, I slept for that long," I said still in shock.

"Yeah, I didn't bother to wake you for school since your body was pretty banged up. There was no way you could walk through those halls without collapsing— especially in gym class. Hope you don't mind. . . but I kind of invaded you a bit."

I felt a heat rise to my face as I realized what he meant, not only had he seen my injuries but had he seen something else to?

I snapped my head to look at him, blush still in place. "What the hell," I snapped.

"Whoa, no it's not what you think I just had to take off your shirt to see why you were in so much pain when I carried you in this morning. But as soon as I touched your back you yelled in your sleep which by my luck didn't wake my parents."

I still felt the blush on my face as I realized I was shirtless in front of his line of sight. I could feel his eyes on every part of my lean stomach and chest even though he kept his eye's on mine I knew he had shown some curiosity in seeing me without my shirt on even if he had claimed for us that we were just friends when he yelled at me yesterday.

I calmed my nerve feeling the blush leave my face just a little. "So no school today?"

"For both of us." I frowned at him. "Why are you not mad at me, last time I checked you didn't want to be near me anymore?"

His smile disappeared making me sort of wish I hadn't asked but I was to curious to hold it in any longer.

"I've come to believe that you're dealing with some tough stuff and I had no right to push at your business like that, I'm sorry. Is it a secret that you're holding? Is that why you can't tell me? If you don't mind me asking?"

I knew my lies wouldn't work since he had saw almost all of my scars and bruises so I began to think, it wouldn't hurt to tell one person, would it? But then another thought crossed my mind.

"You won't tell anyone will you?" I asked him with all seriousness.

He thought about it. A bit too long.

"Alex, please." I found myself begging which was rare for me." I can't entrust this on you if you're not going to keep it to yourself."

He looked at my first of all time pleading face. His shoulders sank as he felt pity for me." Why would you want to keep something like this a secret?"

"Because. . ." I still couldn't find myself to answer him.

"Because," he said slowly with patients.

"My mom will die if I tell — if you tell. I'm considering to tell you this but you have to promise me you won't tell anyone else ...she'll die if you do, I can't afford too many people knowing about this."

Alex didn't ask any more questions. But I answered his.

"Yeah, all of this is a secret that I have to keep. I can't turn to anyone for help because I know he'll find out. If I even think to tell someone then they'll contact the police and he works as an officer so he'll know immediately. Now you know why I had to keep everything from you. Ever since you first asked me about it, it made me afraid that you'd tell someone."

Alex blinked at me with a sincere look on his face." There's something I still don't understand though, what would happen if he found out you told someone?"

My jaw flexed as I looked down at my bandaged hands for a second before looking back up at him and his eyes followed where mine had gone and then he understood.

His face turned to shock as I confirmed it.

"He abuses me, but if he ever finds out that I told someone then he'll potentially hurt me and my mother way worse. This all started because one night I saw him with another women that wasn't my mom, I called him out on it and he was angry that I had seen him and so he threatened me to keep it a secret away from my mom by abusing me to keep quiet about it."

"But this wouldn't be the first time I've seen him with another women. One night I witnessed him having sex with one in his car and just seeing that messed me up. It affected me to the point where I did bad things to myself."

Alex frowned at me." What. . .kind of bad things?"

I raised my wrist and put it into his line of sight."You had asked me how I had gotten this scar on my wrist, well... I did this to myself."


	8. Trusting You

**Trusting You- 7**

* * *

I watched and waited as Alex stared down at my knife wound for a very long time.

There was no going back. Alex knew the truth and he knew what injuries I had been hiding. The old and the most resent. Things would change now I knew that for a fact but one thing kept me anxious and questioning myself. Was I prepared for these changes?

The question had me thinking about my. . .dad. The word "Dad" made me cringe. If I wasn't a son of his then he sure as hell wasn't a father of mine and I was glad to think that. He was crazy and it made me wonder why he would want to hurt or kill me or my mom? That question in my mind popped up a lot, but unanswered. I wondered if I'd ever know the true reasons of his abusive and threatening actions?

I understood why he went out with other woman at night behind my mothers back but why would he do something so. . .selfish and ignorant, I thought he loved my mother? It didn't make since and it didn't help the situation that he was a drinker of alcohol. Hell. . .I could still smell the stench right now as I sat in Alex's bed room on the carpeted floor as he still examined my once painful knife wound. It had healed quickly since it hadn't been that deep.

He shook his head. Finally he looked up at me." I'm sorry," he hesitated."But I don't think I can keep your secret."

I stood up quickly so fast that it caused him to flinch ever so slightly. I felt the sudden emotions of panic and fear take over me. "What do you mean you can't keep it," I snapped as anger edged it's way into my voice.

I had just told him a life or death secret that I only entrusted him with and here he was throwing it away, basically telling me that he would tell anyone of the secret I had tried so hard to keep to myself out of the fear I had of getting myself and my mom hurt or most importantly killed.

"I might just be speaking out of feeling sorry for you but. . .this Gareki is much more then you could ever imagine. Something seriously bad can happen to you if you don't get help."

"Alex." I interrupted as I crouched down at eye level with him. This is something I can't control, **try** to understand what I'm talking about. I can't tell anyone."

"I know that but there has to be someone you could tell besides me," he spoke firmly trying to get his point through to me. His steal grey eyes were scanning my face with their unique design. I noticed from a closer inspection that there were little white specks circling around the pupil embedded in the steal grey.

I swallowed hard wishing I could tell someone else besides just Alex but there wasn't anyone."My dad is the head leader of the police squad, I can't talk to the fire department, school counselor, a teacher, or even my mother about any of this because they're all linked to him. He knew I wouldn't be able to tell anyone but I told you since I trust you, don't change my opinion that I have about you."

What ever I had just said must have made a bigger impact then what I knew of because the next thing I knew Alex was crying. Not full on weeping. . . but I did see tears begin to well in his eyes. I knew it must have been hard not be able to tell someone of other peoples troubles especially mine.

He nodded letting go of the fact that I wouldn't allow him to tell this to anyone." Alright." he hesitated once more as he continued to look at me." Alright, I'll keep your secret, I promise."

I couldn't help but give him a small smile in relief. The panic and fear left me like a wave dispatching from a shore line and I could breathe more easily again."Thank you."

He smiled a small smile back at me before turning serious."But Gareki, If something really serious happens to you, I'm getting you help and that will mean I'll have to tell people. I'll find a way to get you back to safety and that goes for your mother to."

I couldn't argue with him, telling by the serious look he gave me. I could only nod in agreement.

We stayed quiet for a few moments, neither of us at all being awkward by the sudden silence between us. I decided to break it anyway.

I sighed quietly."I appreciate you taking me in even though we ended up in that fight yesterday, but. . .I know I'm going to have to go back home sooner or later. What I'm about to say next may sound selfish but truth is I don't want to go home even though my mother will be there alone with my dad, I'm afraid, but I hope he doesn't hurt her just because I left the house."

"Well," Alex said thoughtfully not at all looking as if he had just cried a few minutes ago. "You're welcome to come here at any time considering your bad situation. Whenever there's something too much you can't handle you know where to find me. Here that is. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind since I'm not much of the social type."

I looked at him in surprise before chuckling quietly to myself.

Alex looked at me with a muddled expression. "What are you laughing at?"

I laughed harder stopping for a few seconds to look at his confused face only to burst out laughing.

Alex watched me in awe. This would be the first time he ever saw me laugh or smile this much— or at all for that matter since he was new. Ever since his first day he had never seen me crack a smirk or any signs of amusement. I was always deadpanned or angry when it came to school pretty much how everyone else saw me as.

Finally after a couple of minutes of laughing I came down from my high with my eyes closed, wiping a tear from one of them. I huffed a sigh."Been a while since I laughed like that, never thought I'd do it again."

Alex was too confused about the sudden laughter that I had emitted that he was completely speechless.

I smiled. "You must not understand." I said before sitting back down on the carpet, legs crossed. Being the 'not much of a social type' is **my** job. I can't imagine you not talking to people like some popular guy, it's completely out of character for you."

Alex smiled back and laughed a bit as he leaned back on his hands. "Oh yeah, says the boy who just laughed up a storm." He joked."I wouldn't have guessed a person as deadpanned as you to ever laugh, I may be new but I notice how serious you front at school."

"Oh shut up," I said playfully. We both laughed. He was right, I did hide myself behind a mask at school with so many people around. But that wasn't who I really was. I liked to laugh, joke and smile like everyone else. But things happening in my house had changed that causing everything I once felt happy about turn into something disappointing.

I was glad again that my real self was showing like it had done from what seemed so long ago. Maybe I was wrong about Alex, he **had** broken through my walls there wasn't an if or maybe about it.

Alex pushed his hair back before it fell right back into place. "Ok . . .ummm." he started not being able to get the words out.

I rolled my eyes."Say it."

He sighed." Fine. . .considering the fact when we got into that argument I basically said we weren't partners any more nor would I want to be your friend which I doubt we were in the first place since we were more like acquaintances. Well we're definitely friends now **I think**... but about that English Lit project, it was clear that you totally didn't like me at that time but do you like me enough now that we can be partners for it?"

Alex lifted his hand out to me as a means to shake it. "Shake my hand if you want to but if not then we're cool just being. . . acquaintances."

I looked at his hand before raising my own towards his equally pale skin as mine. I then slapped his hand away.

"Okay I'm not going to be your partner if you're going to ask me like that, plus we're not acquaintances anymore." I flatly answered and the next part I hesitated on since I actually had feelings for this guy." We're _**friends**_ now."

He looked shocked by me saying that considering all I had done ever since he had moved here was throw him off like everyone else.

"Perfect. But what was wrong with the way I had asked?" He gave me a bemused look.

"Okay, first of all you're doing it too formal for me. I'm 17 not 45. Lets just say we're partners again." I offered with a shrug.

"Alright, fine." He agreed smiling at me.

I tried not to admit to myself that the "friend " label had gotten to me again. We would both think of each other as just being friends no longer acquaintances, but I liked him in a way that meant much more then those two labels. I know I had rid myself of all those feelings I had for him but now I was finding that they were coming back without me having any control over them.

I sighed and rotated my shoulders to get the muscles from tensing up. My back was feeling much better and I made sure to thank him for fixing me up." Alright we should start on that English Lit interview project, I just want to get it over with."

"Good idea." Alex agreed as he threw my black T shirt at me. I hadn't even realized I was still half way naked while talking to him this whole time. I shrugged it on before grabbing my paper work for the interview out of my duffle bag in the far corner of his bedroom.

1 hour had went by with us asking back and forth all of our questions on our papers I only had 2 more to answer.

I groaned as I leaned against the wall of his entirely- filled- band-poster- bedroom, as we still sat on the floor.

Alex was laying on his back on the white carpeted floor as he wrote down my response to one of his questions he then turned to me."We're almost done."

I groaned again."We better be, I don't understand how Mrs. Stewart came up with so many questions for this thing?"

"I know, right? But I'm thinking this is an act to let the students learn about each other, and I have to admit I'm learning a lot about you. . .it's **interesting**." he said the last part in such a way that made it seem like knowing about me was a really good thing.

As cheesy as it was it made my heart stutter— but in a good way. I hadn't thought I was all that interesting but apparently I was to him. I had learned a lot about him too. I learned that where he used to stay before coming to Boston Massachusetts was New York near the city area with his parents along with his much older brother who was currently finishing up college attending NYU. He said he had a younger sister but he quickly turned the subject around after mentioning her. I wondered why but then quickly figured it wasn't my business. I didn't bother asking.

Alex sat up strait from his laid back position. "Okay so now for the next question."

I prepared myself for the next question on his list. I had answered all the others truthfully I didn't want to lie to him. It was strange since I had been determined to keep everything hidden from people and here I was telling him almost everything about myself. It was strange how the tables turned in life.

"What is your full name?" He prepared his pencil against his paper to write it down.

"Gareki Igarashi." I simply said.

He paused and stared strait in my direction, his pencil unmoving against his paper.

I moved my eyes from left and right not sure if he was exactly looking at me, before I averted them back to him." Why do you always stare at me. What?"

"Sorry." he shook himself blinking a few times. "You're Japanese," He inquired surprised.

"I thought it was obvious," I said crossing my arms.

"No," he wrote down my name.

"Isss...that aaa problem?" I dragged my words.

"Course it's not. I was only curious" He smiled at me before looking down at his paper." Okay last question for you. What is your hobby?"

I had long since asked all of my questions for him to answer so now this was the very last question I could answer. It was about time my ass was numb from sitting on the hard carpet for so long.

I didn't have to think for this one. "I play electric guitar and almost any kind of instrument, music is mainly my only hobby."

Alex paused again staring at me with interested eyes.

"What now?" He was doing the staring thing again it wasn't like I minded all that much anymore but now it proved to be some what annoying.

"I didn't think you'd be into guitar play," He said to me all of a sudden ecstatic.

I shrugged."It passes the time since I had to teach myself."

"Seriously?" He sounded so surprised like he had when I first mentioned guitar. I didn't understand why he was so happy?

"Yeah, and you also didn't know that I wear black eye-liner and tease my hair all spikey like some gothic chick." I said slowly with a nonchalant shrug. "Why are you so happy about it?"

"Because I just so happened to own electric guitars. I play instruments and I like music too. Oh yeah and I did notice your wicked Emo style from the moment I stepped into English Lit so don't think I didn't know. You're starting to have a lot in common with me."

I shook my head with a small laugh. Now I was the one happy and interested." I'll agree with that. But do you really own guitars?"

He smirked, got up and walked to his walk in closet. His room was a lot more bigger then mine.

I watched him come out with two electric guitars one being a crimson red and the other being a shiny black. He handed me the black one.

I got up to my own feet and held the instrument from the neck and from the head as I examined it. "Wow."I was almost speechless. "Where'd you get these, they're special editions."

He smiled bigger at my guitar knowledge."I own them, I work at this sweet place where they let you play them in a recording room with your friends. During my breaks, maybe I could take you there sometime."

"Please do." I found myself saying quickly before I could stop myself. There was still the issue with my dad maybe he wouldn't let me go but then I thought again. Fuck him, He can't rule my life after all that he's done to me.

"lets see what you got then." Alex challenged as he gave me a red pick. I took it and placed it between my index finger and thumb as I wrapped the strap around my neck before grabbing the neck of the guitar with my left hand putting the pick Alex had given me on a string for the first note I wanted to play.

I smirked at Alex as I lifted my eyes up to look at him just for a second before training my eyes back onto the electric guitar strings.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Show me." He said smiling at me the whole time.

I then began to play.


	9. Close Friends

**Close Friends-8**

* * *

I blocked out everything as I played the instrument with my fingers and the small pick Alex had given me. Guitar wasn't just a hobby for me it was a natural given talent that I personally loved but wouldn't admit out loud, after all I didn't want a crowd of people listening to me play I wanted to stay out of the crowd and keep myself in the shadows, unnoticed, it was easier that way.

I let the sharp sounds ring through my ears as I placed my fingers on the proper notes I knew all to well from listening to a bunch of medal bands play. I kept my head low and my eyes closed letting the tune take me into my happy place where the beautiful ringing of the electric guitar sounded all through out my head as I played it fast and slightly hard not letting completely lose like I would do when I was alone.

When I was alone I would normally rock my head back and fourth really quickly and maybe jump around a bit, definitely something I wouldn't do in public.

Finally my playing came to a stop. Slowly I opened my eyes and brought my head up to look at Alex's surprised face as he stared back at me.

His arms were crossed but he pulled them apart to start clapping."Oh, man that was amazing!"

I raised an eyebrow."You think so?"

"I **know** so," He said excitedly stopping his clapping only to rest his hands on his hips."You're a natural."

I scoffed."It' took a lot to be this good."

He walked over to his bed with the other electric guitar in his hand as he sat down on the mattress.

"You should show this talent to people... **other** people," He suggested as he positioned the guitar on his lap. He looked up at me and smiled.

I didn't know why I hadn't noticed it before but I could see that Alex had a piercing on the corner of his bottom lip and in it was a small silver ring. It looked good against his features along with the septum hanging from his nose.

I leaned against the dry wall with my arms crossed."No, I couldn't do that."

"Why not?" But then he took it back once he saw my face give him a look. He knew why.

"Oh yeah, my bad." He apologized before putting his fingers on the guitar strings. He changed the subject."What if I showed you some of my talent?"

I shrugged."It deepens what that talent is."

"Singing."

I cocked my head slightly."What?"

"I can sing." He said again tuning the guitar in his hands by turning one of the little nobs.

"No joke?"

"I've been told I have an angels voice." He admitted."Now pick a song, anything you like or interested in."

I thought for a few seconds before I came up with a proper song for him to sing." _Snuff."_

He blew out a brief laugh."Oh the old _**Slipknot**_ song eh? Seems kinda melancholy to me."

"What ever big words, just start singing."

"Okay." he shrugged before grabbing another pick and positioned it on the thin strings of his acoustic guitar."Try not to cry. Okay?"

"Not going to happen." I said knowing full well that the song was a sad one but I possible wouldn't cry even though I hadn't listened to it in a while.

Alex started to strum his guitar in slow strokes soon coming up with the lyrics of the song.

 _Bury all your secrets in my skin_  
 _Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins_  
 _The air around me still feels like a cage_  
 _And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again..._

He paused to strum the melody of the song before beginning again.

 _So if you love me, let me go._  
 _And run away before I know._  
 _My heart is just too dark to care._  
 _I can't destroy what isn't there._  
 _Deliver me into my fate -_  
 _If I'm alone I cannot hate_  
 _I don't deserve to have you..._

 _My smile was taken long ago_  
 _If I can change I hope I never know_

 _I still press your letters to my lips_  
 _And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss_  
 _I couldn't face a life without your lights_  
 _But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight._

His voice was magnificent better then I had even expected. He sang the notes with such a passion just like the song intended for the actual singer to sing. I began to feel the sting of tears build up in the corners of my eyes just by the sheer sadness of his voice as he got into the song more.

 _So save your breath, I will not hear!_  
 _I think I made it very clear!_  
 _You couldn't hate enough to love..._  
 _Is that supposed to be enough?_  
 _I only wish you weren't my friend..._  
 _Then I could hurt you in the end._  
 _I never claimed to be a saint..._

 _Ooh, my own was banished long ago_  
 _It took the death of hope to let you go!_

 _So break yourself against my stones_  
 _And spit your pity in my soul_  
 _You never needed any help_  
 _You sold me out to save yourself_  
 _And I won't listen to your shame_  
 _You ran away - you're all the same_  
 _Angels lie to keep control..._

 _Ooh, my love was punished long ago_  
 _If you still care, don't ever let me know.._

 _If you still care don't ever let me know!_

He strummed the last bit of the song. And I felt myself break down as the tears flowed freely down my pale cheeks without me knowing.

He looked up at me slowly."I knew you would cry," He said softly as he smiled a small one at me.

I took in a breath."Oh shut up, you know this song is sad...and... by the way, your singing is **really** good," I said as I wiped the tears that managed to escape.

"Thanks."

I nodded as he got off the bed to put the guitars away. At that moment it became quiet between us. I began to hate the silence even though this was the longest I had ever talked to him I found that it was surprising that just the other day, such as Monday I hadn't given him a second glance expecting him to just be like everyone else but of course that was before I knew I had a small crush on him. I hadn't wanted to talk to him at all actually but of course he was more different then I knew of. He kept pestering me and was completely persistent in seeing me talk and react with him for some reason— oh wait he thought I was ...interesting— whatever that meant. I didn't understand him.

But long story short, I began to like the small talk that we had even before I realized it, I guess I was just oblivious the entire time he had spoken to me in school. So know I had grown accustomed to him wanting to speak to me all the time, thus making me want to talk back to him just as much as he did.

I decided to ask a random question just to get rid of the silence."So, last night, why were you out side so late?"

Alex turned back to me with a raised eyebrow."Oh...that." He sounded uninterested and hesitant before coming out of his closet and closing the door behind him."Well I run, at night."

"Are you training for something?"

"No, I just take that time to get away from . . . stuff. You know." he shrugged." Drama and old memories."

I eyed him curiously."Was it my fault?"

"Some of it was." He answered truthfully."But some of it wasn't just because of you."

I blinked as I felt curious to pull more info out of him but I stopped myself fearing that it might be a sensitive topic from the way he was talking. Maybe some troublesome stuff was happening with him too.

"Lets get out of here," Alex said walking over to the door of his room."I think it's about time you saw the rest of my house since you are going to be coming over a lot."

I followed him out the door and down the carpeted stair case that winded down in a slight circle to the main floor.

I hadn't seen the inside of his house because I had fallen unconscious last night but I had to say from first opinion his house was amazing the furniture matched the cream colored walls as we both came into the family room which sported warm colors such as light brown and white furniture with cabinets and a glass coffee table, The art resembled flowers and wide open plains with mountains and tall grass. It made me feel comfortable.

We then walked into the kitchen where the cream colored walls met us again, against it were dark wooden cabinets with a silver stove and refrigerator. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen atop the dark wooden floors was an equally dark island with silver bar chairs at it's counter. This room also looked comfortable with a modern design.

But what we both didn't expect was to see both of his parents in the kitchen cooking dinner. I hadn't expected it to be this late already, time flew by when I was with Alex. I now knew that for a fact.

They both looked up in surprise to see me and Alex walk in.

"Alex," said his mother training her equally grey eyes on him. She was around my height with black hair that shined against the sealing light from above. She looked young, possible in her mid 30's. She had olive skin which stood out against the black dress she was wearing. I wasn't being weird or anything, but I had to admit Alex's mother was beautiful, It made since why her son was so good looking.

As for his father he was tall and lean with a bit of muscle on his arms, He wore a dark grey shirt that made his muscles pop out against the el-bow length sleeves. He looked as if he was in his mid 30's as well, as he stood with a purpose marring his handsome features against his dark brown hair and brown eyes. He owned most of the features that Alex had except for the hair.

:I heard you were staying home with a friend, I thought you two would never come down stairs." her voice sounded elegant with a rounded pitch. She could be in a choir if she wanted.

"Sorry mom, I guess we, lost time." He said the last part looking at me.

"Well it's good to see you, and it's nice to meet you." She sat down the knife she had been using to cut vegetables before out stretching her hand for mine to shake."Hello, call me Dirrah no formalities please." she insisted politely.

"Gareki." I offered, shacking her hand. She turned towards her husband after letting go."This is Derrick." He smiled warmly at me before shaking my hand with a strong and firm hold, he then let go."Just call me Derrick as well."

"Are you staying for dinner, we would love your company." Dirrah said continuing to cut vegetables.

I was about to say yes but then I stopped myself remembering how late it was and I knew I needed to get home. I reluctantly shook my head."No, I can't stay, I should get home." In the corner of my eye I saw Alex look at me sadly.

"You don't have to go." He said to me right after I had finished speaking. His voice sounded normal as if it was a regular conversation but I knew he meant much more when he had said that.

I still shook my head."No, I've intruded long enough and besides my dad is probably wondering where I am."

Both Alex's parents nodded in understanding.

"You're welcome to come tomorrow, our son needs the company." Derrick insisted.

"Yeah I do." Alex said quickly— a bit **to** quickly.

I looked at all of them seeing if it was true if they all wanted me over again. I didn't see any signs of a lie on either of their faces.

"I'll see," I said unsure about tomorrow.

"Great." Said Dirrah, "We'll see you if you decide."

I nodded not wanting to say another word as I felt myself falter at the fact that I had to go home. I had already felt my body regain it's composure from the beating my dad had given me thanks to Alex bandaging my cuts and massaging my back but I felt it would all be wasted once I got home.

Alex walked me outside. Making sure I had my bags with me as he led me to the park way of his garage."I'm driving you." He offered or more like ordered not taking no for an answer.

I found myself getting in the passenger seat of his red BMW. The ride to my house was done without much talking except for me telling him where to go. Time once again passed quickly as Alex pulled up to my house in front of the yard instead of the drive way.

I sighed feeling my heart beat faster for what was awaiting me. I grabbed the door handle after grabbing all of my bags but Alex stopped me before I could push his door open.

"Hold on." His voice was deep and serious. I sat back down in my seat to look at him.

"Give me your number."

I didn't say a word but only pulled out my phone and told him the digits.

He saved it into his contacts before looking at me."Keep safe ok I'll call you if I think you're not okay and you can do the same if you need some one close to talk to, but one last time I'll ask you..."

I gave him, a hard look as he continued after a few seconds of pausing.

"Are you sure you don't want me to tell anyone, I understand that it'll cause a problem with your mom bu—"

"Alex," I interrupted."I'm sure, I promise you."

He stared at me with those grey eyes for a moment before leaning into me. My heart lurched as I thought he was going to kiss me but he hugged me instead, tightly.

It was sort of weird but I shook it off.

I wasn't used to the feeling of another persons embrace but I soon slowly wrapped my own arms around his strong upper body. It was another moment before we pulled away. His eyes scanned me one more time before saying."Remember you can come over my house anytime you need."

"Okay." I agreed opening the passenger door and exited before closing the door behind me. I made my way to the front door without a single look back afraid that I would run back to that car and make the situation even more worse then I knew it already was.

I took out my key and put it into the door lock hearing the familiar snap of the lock remove itself. It was then that I gathered enough courage to turn around to Alex who had been watching me the whole time.

I smiled a small one before entering the place I feared to face my dad. I still hated to call him that.


	10. Empty Inside

**Empty Inside-9**

* * *

The stillness in the house made me unsettled as I closed the front door behind me. I looked around at my surroundings to see everything was in order—meaning there was no sign of a fight like I had expected. I looked at the walls inspecting them to be covered in droplets of blood.

I felt my heart settle once I found the dry wall to be empty of any blood except for the kid pictures of me, mom and...dad. The fucker. I swear if he did anything to her—

"Gareki?" came a soft female voice I had been familiar with almost my whole life. It had come from the kitchen. There was no going back, Alex for sure already left once he saw me walk inside...I think. I felt like I could just say fuck it and run away at that moment like I had done last night with my dad. But no that would go against all I had said. I had to stay here to at least keep her safe or die trying.

"I'm here," I answered still at the front door taking off my converses. I picked them up before climbing the stairs quickly passing my mom up who had her back turned in the living room flicking through channels on the TV, I needed to ditch my bags before she asked questions of why I had them. I just hoped my dad didn't tell her I ran away last night. When she got mad let's just say it wasn't pretty, not as bad as my dads punishments, luckily.

I opened the door to my room only to be met by a huge mess. My eyes widened as I paused in place scanning the once neat floors which was now covered in ripped papers, pictures, and clothing from my open wardrobe and closet.

I felt my duffle bag slip off my shoulder and I let it as I continued to stare at the mess. I finally came to my senses as I moved towards my closet, I noticed the one most thing I cared about in my room was missing from it's rightful place. My electric guitar.

I scrounged around in my closet frantically looking under ever nook and cranny of tossed clothing and shoes. Having no luck I came out of my closet and looked in the piles of clothes that were on the floor not feeling or seeing any familiar black paint of my guitar.

"Gareki," Said my mom coming in the door way only to stop just like I had once I saw the huge mess.

"What is all this?" her voice sounded surprised.

I stood up strait and turned to her."Uh, nothing." that was a lame lie.

She looked at me concerned as she crossed her arms."Your father has told me you haven't been good ever since I left—"

"What?!" My voice came out quick clearly feeling angry that he was making up shit about me."I didn't do any—"

"Don't Gareki!"She snapped."You've been getting bad grades and you have bad behavior so much as to run away from home and now you're talking back, let alone you got into a fight an actual fight with your dad."

"Mom, It's not like that, He's clearly lying to you."

"I don't want to hear it. Until you get your grades good don't expect to leave this house again. I can't believe you'd do something like this, this isn't like you. Clean up this room...I'm going out for groceries and stay out of your fathers way, he's already stressed about work."

She closed the door and I could hear her walk away down the steps before leaving the house by shutting the front door. I felt myself falter."How could she think I was the cause of all this? I understood my mood hadn't been good lately as well as my grades but maybe that was all that she needed to think that this actually **was** my fault when it was really that fuckers fault.

I felt anger build up inside of me. He had trashed my room while I was away and now I couldn't find my guitar that I had paid with my own money. What the hell was his problem?!

I was to distracted by my anger and rumbling through the mess to find my guitar to notice the jackass had slipped into my room and smacked me hard with said instrument.

I felt the back of my head hit the dry wall as I fell on the floor. A shocking pain ached my skull but I doubt that it was broken since I wasn't screaming.

He stared down at me with anger."You shouldn't have run away last night, be lucky I didn't lay a finger on her, but you're going to pay for what you did. Now, If I say run away you run away and if I don't say it then you obviously don't run away. But this, ohh this is crossing the line! You think you get to call the shots around here?!"

He lifted up my guitar as if preparing to hit me again.

"No," I yelled holding my arms up trying to shield myself.

"Then next time, listen to my orders," He said then delivered another hard smack to my head with my guitar. I blocked myself from the hit the best I could but he pulled— or more like yanked my arm away forcing me to the side before kicking me in my gut causing me to heave over in the fatal position gripping my abdomen.

I felt the hard impact of my guitar hit against my back injuring it yet again before I fell flat on the floor coughing. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath and I took this opportunity to get up and run.

"Oh. Where do you think you're going." I heard him yell after me.

"Fuck you!" I yelled making my way towards the stairs before I felt a hard impact on the back of my head causing me to fall. I fell down the stairs seeing everything around me spin rapidly before coming to an abrupt stop. My brain screamed at me to get up.

I suddenly regretted those words I had just said to him. I painfully tried to get myself up quick enough only to be kicked back down.

I groaned loudly.

"You're going to learn some respect. He made another move to hit me but I kicked him in the leg. Once again another mistake I was too stupid to realize. I crawled away unable to use my legs.

"You little shit," stomping over to me he grabbed me fiercely by my hair yanking me backwards until I fell onto my back. I screamed at him to stop as I fought against his tight grip hooked onto the scalp of my head.

I screamed loudly, apparently he thought the neighbors were going to hear us so he covered my mouth tightly.

"You must really want to die don't! DON"T YOU!" He yelled at me black hair getting into his eyes as he grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter and pointed it closely to my face.

I screamed louder and struggled afraid that he would use it on me or worse kill me.

"EEEEEEEMMMMM!" I was crying at this point as I felt my face become wet with tears. His hand was still covering my mouth making my screams come out muffled.

"Do you value your life?" He asked me all of a sudden.

I nodded quickly.

"Then act like it!"

Releasing me I fell back against the floor feeling my once healed body ach all over again. I wanted to get away but I couldn't in fear that he would kill me this time if I tried.

"Oh and another thing," He said before walking away. My teary eyes found him.

He held out my guitar and positioned it above the hard wood with both hands before smashing my most prized possession on the hard surface.

"No!" I found myself yelling as I watched in slow motion the pieces fly in different directions in. I was in shock as I stared wide eyed at my broken guitar strawn about on the floor.

"Maybe that will teach you a lesson not to disobey. Clean up this mess and go clean up that mess of a room of yours." I heard his footsteps walk away from me before he exited out of the house leaving me their alone.

I slowly and painfully crawled over to the broken mess and looked over all of it still in shock by what had just happen. The words I had thought when I was playing the guitar at Alex's house echoed in my mind. Guitar was a natural given talent that I loved and now it was over... ripped from me. People would think I was over reacting if they found out my heart had broken just from a simple piece of wood and tide strings breaking but I felt hurt, a painful feeling emitted from my chest. I loved what I created while playing this instrument.

It was my only way of getting out of this fucked up life of mine, the only thing that distracted me from reality, the only thing that made me feel like I had a purpose, it was the only thing I found myself good at.

I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head. There was no way of fixing the broken pieces and I didn't have the money to pay for a new one or to get this one fixed. It goes to say that my life as a self taught guitarist was over.

I tried not to cry as I picked up the broken pieces turning away as I hesitantly threw it in the garbage, then began to climb the stairs slowly to clean up the room the jack ass had made for me.

* * *

I wore a dark jean jacket/hood attached with a black T shirt underneath with a pair of dark grey skinny jeans and high top converses, I stared in the mirror at my pale face before reaching towards a small box with one of my small dark studded ear rings were. I put two of them in my ears and closed the box slowly.

I didn't feel good this day, not one bit. My demeanor felt different and more sad then anything else. I looked at my watch that was tide on my wrist. It was time for me to go before my bus came. Sighing I grabbed my bag and sauntered painfully down the stairs feeling my legs ache from yesterdays beating.

My dad hadn't come back till late at night lying to my mom that he had to run some errands while I knew what he was really doing but of course in my position I couldn't tell her what was really going on.

None of them were awake by the time I had come down stairs or maybe it was just they were still getting ready for work. Either way I only wanted to get out of the house.

I opened the front door before walking out into the morning air closing the door behind me. I then looked up to see a red car parked in the drive way of my house. The windows were dark meaning I couldn't see the person inside the vehicle until said person rolled down the window to glance at me with those white specked grey eyes. Thorne was waiting for me, he waved me over in which I shoved my hands into my pockets before walking up to his car on the passenger side opening the door before sitting down.

I closed the door starring strait ahead without saying a word of good morning. I crossed my arms.

He waited a moment before turning to me. "Seat belt."

I looked at him from the corner of my eye and sighed knowing that he wouldn't drive if I didn't put on the damn seat belt. I heard it click before sitting back in my seat and crossed my arms yet again as the BMW pulled out of the drive way.

I looked at him once again from the corner of my eye as he drove down the road. He was looking good in his sleeveless black T shirt that showed off his medium sized muscles, a pair of black ripped jeans hugged his legs and with a pair of dark boots. I could see that he still had the lip ring and septum in his nose. Why was he so cute to me? And most of all... why was he always so nice specially to me?

He made it clear that he didn't like me that way when he told me that time in gym he only wanted to be good friends, but of course it wasn't like I had admitted my feelings towards him. I still was deciphering what I had towards him. I was new to my sudden sexuality. Being gay was uncalled for. I never really had anything against people who liked or loved the same sex I was just confused by it. Such as what's the big deal with people always hating on them just because they like the same sex? I mean I didn't get it and I thought I would never until I found out that I was gay as well, so now I was scared of the societies thoughts about same sex relationships, it wasn't easy I knew that was for sure.

"You're dressing dark today." Alex commented after nearly the whole car ride being in silence.

"Huh?...Oh... I always dress in dark clothing."

My voice didn't come out as interested and happy as I had wanted it to be and because of that Alex caught on to my bad mood.

"What's going on with you? Your being quiet— more then usual."

I sighed."It's just that...ugh...never mind."

Alex stopped the car so abruptly I flew forward and slammed back against the seat causing my head to hurt slightly. I snapped my eyes over to him and glared."What the hell?!"

"Don't— 'What the hell me', you know exactly what's up. Now... **tell me**." He looked at me hard which forced the words out of my mouth in one breath.

"My dad beat me and he also broke my guitar which I'm really upset about."

I didn't know why, but I felt kind of embarrassed admitting it.

Alex looked at me for a few seconds not saying a word. His face was hard and unhappy looking."How can you live with that—"

"Alex," I snapped interrupting him. I can handle it, we've had this conversation already."

Despite me saying this he just ignored me and kept asking questions.

"What all did he do to you? Did he hurt you badly? I want to know."

"No, you don't." I shook my head disagreeing with all the questions he had asked me, I couldn't tell him."Once I tell you, You'll be tempted to tell some one."

"I promised you I wouldn't." he defended. I got up into his face before saying."Yes you did but you also said that if something serious happens you'll be forced to tell some one about it, I won't let you do that."

"So you lied to me." He stated flatly, his eyes squinting slightly and this time he got all in my face not wanting to back down.

"Are you kidding I didn't lie."

" **Yes** you did, you told me Gareki that you would let me tell someone if something serious happened to you, what happened to you is serious. Did you or did you not say that?"

"I did, but maybe I take it back," I snapped. Our faces were close but both of us were to absorbed in fighting to realize it.

"I can't believe you," Alex yelled. I'm only trying to help you. Why do you always push me away? Huh? Tell me that?!"

"You don't have to yelled at me!" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Then stop pushing me away when I'm only trying to help."

"Well, maybe I don't need your help." Seriousness was in my voice when I said this.

Alex's glare disappeared as a surprised looked replaced his features. I realized what I had just said I looked at him with the same surprised look. I panicked.

"I didn't mean that!" I said in a whisper, my eyes wide.

Alex shook his head pulling away from me."Why do you continue to always hurt the people around you," he stated coldly. That statement struck me hard like a punch in the gut. I didn't know what to say at that moment, did I really always hurt the people around me, I was oblivious to see how other people thought of me but maybe some of them I did hurt. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I looked at Alex.

"Alex, I didn't— I reached for him only to have him jerk away from me.

"Don't touch me!" He snapped looking at me angrily. I drew my hand back. I was losing everything and I could do **nothing** about it. I looked up at the cloudy sky as the rain began to poor down I forgot the forecast had said rain would be today.

I pursed my lips together shacking my head before ripping off my seat belt and shoved the door open before sprinting as fast as I could. Getting myself drenched quickly. I heard Alex yell my name from behind but I kept running clenching my teeth together tightly as I continued to run deep into a near by wooded area not knowing where I was going but not daring to stop.

That was until I tripped on a rock and fell down the hill getting covered in leaves as I finally came to a stop landing on my back as I stared up at the raining sky. The droplets dropping onto my face as I laid there. I closed my eyes letting my pain take over me as I cried full on with out a care in the world.

I keep losing... I couldn't win...


	11. Emotions Kept Hidden

**Emotions Kept Hidden- 10**

* * *

I sat up quickly with a sharp intake of breath. My black hair stuck to my forehead from the rain water that still pored down on me. I had just heard something, it sounded like a growl. Definitely not good for me if it turned out to be some sort of wild animal.

I looked around myself quickly as my breathing hitched at every sound the forest made behind all the green leaves and broken down branches of the woods. The tears on my face mixed in with the rain as I sat there longer, soaking my clothes even more. I shivered slightly from the cold droplets as I got to my feet letting down my guard as I suspected the growl I had heard was a just apart of my imagination.

But I heard it again along with a loud rustle of leaves. I stopped suddenly feeling that I shouldn't turn around as I felt a terrible presence behind me. But I didn't listen to myself because the next thing I knew I was turning my head slowly to look into the eyes of wolves, about three of them looking at me cautiously. There bright eyes looked over me determining if I was worth a challenge.

They were hungry I could tell from the way they looked at me. I could hear another deep growl come from their throats as they stepped closer to me.

The water dripped from my pale nose as my wet hair sagged in front of my eyes. I stared back at them unmoving. I was afraid. Who wouldn't be? But I was smart enough to know that with this many wolves watching me it would be a bad idea to run, so I stayed still and watched them closely at every move they made. That was until my phone rang in my pocket. A loud rock band played vibrated against my hip causing the wolves to growl louder at me.

One of them even barked.

I kept calm as I slowly took out my phone to look at the caller ID. I sighed. Alex...he was trying to reach me. I didn't want to talk to him, not now — **especially** not now.

My movements were limited, I couldn't risk talking while these wolves were still around me. But then I thought how else was I suppose to get out of this situation?

There was no running, threatening movements, or speaking as I already knew of. I wasn't going to stay frozen like this forever, who knew how long it would take for them to leave and lose interest in me. My only option was to break one of those rules, hopefully they wouldn't take it as a threat.

Alex called my phone for the third time and this time I picked up quickly."Yeah?" I answered hurriedly.

The wolves stepped closer to me and I took a small step back. I tried to appear bigger but of course there group in numbers over powered me as they crept closer.

 **"** Where are you?" Alex ordered. In the background I could hear him running as he panted slightly.

"In the woods."

"Me too. I just passed the hill where I saw you fall, are you okay?"

"I will be." I muttered still backing up step by step ever so slowly trying to keep myself calm. My heart pounded in my chest as the wolves continued to advance closer.

"Are you near the area you fell," He asked. All of a sudden his end on the phone went quiet.

"Yea—" I was interrupted.

The wolves were getting of them decided to bark at me as it lunged for my arm. But I backed up quickly missing him by a couple of inches.

"What was that," Alex asked.

I continued to back up unable to answer him right away as one of the wolves lunged at me again. Ugh! I grunted as I was shoved hard to a tree hitting my back by the wolf's weight pushing against me.

"Gareki!?"

My phone had fallen out of my grasp once the wolf had shoved me. I quickly went to the ground, my hands quickly searching for the cold plastic. I finally found it and put it up to my ear.

"I'm here, but I'm stuck between some wolves. I don't know if—" I was cut off again as my phone was swiped out of my hand thanks to the wolves jumping me. I panicked at that moment. I had only been toaght what to do when you come across a wolf not when wolves attack you.

I felt their heavy weight on me as I shoved agianst them only to feel the incision of one of their nails enter my arm. I let out a small pained noise as it ripped along my arm breaking the fabric of my jean jacket.

Another was aiming to bite me but I quickly kicked it away with my foot hearing it whine as it flinched away. The others growled at me, I could hear their snarling loud in my ears as they scratched at my clothing.

A loud gun shot rang out. 1 round, 2 rounds, and lastly 3 rounds. I felt the heavy weights lift off of me as the wolves fell away running into the woods one was left behind dead while the other two were injured.

I was frozen to the ground in disbelief that I had survived.

I tried to catch my breath but I found myself in a panic still from the unexpected and terrifying company. I turned my head to look into Alex's fierce eyes. His face was pulled into a hard emotionless expression that I hadn't seen him with—ever.

His arm was exstended out and within his grasps was a gun, a pistol to be exact. He brought his arm down to his side before walking quickly over to me.

I stared at the gun in his right hand wondering why he was carrying it? Mostly of how he had gotten such a deathly weapon?

"Ale—"

"Are you ok?" He interrupted crouching before me and tilting my head to the left and right checking for injuries. The rain had made him soaked as well, his black and red hair fell into his eyes, and droplets of water slid down his exposed arms.

"I'm fine." I said slowly, not expecting him to touch me. He then looked down at my scratched arm, the fabric around it being ripped into three small nail sized sections revealing bloody claw marks.

His eyebrows creased before he grabbed my arm quickly and held it up for both of us to see.

"You call this fine?!"

I suddenly remembered the argument we just had in the car before I ran off. I was still offended by the way we had argued over something so completely troublesome. The way he had jerked away from me when I went to apologize.

I snatched my arm away and glared at him before getting to my feet."Why did you come after me?!" I snapped.

He got to his own feet."I couldn't just let you go in the woods alone. Not to mention— you **fell.** " He said it like it was obvious.

"I didn't need you to come and help me, I'm fine." I didn't understand him, why was he always getting into fights with me and then trying to make the situation normal like it had never happened?

"If I hadn't of come you'd be torn to pieces by those wolves."He argued back." Plus, you're obviously not fine! Look at your arm, it's bleeding, you could be infected with something."

"All the more reason to get away from me." I stared at him darkly.

He crossed his arms."What is the matter with you?"

"Well, I don't know. You, said it in the car!" my voice got louder by each word I said."I'm not worth your time. Not you, not the people at school and definitely not this stupid friendship we have! You admitted it, I push people away! so be it then, I don't need anyone!"

"Yes you do, why wouldn't you!?"he yelled back at me.

"Because, people like you make me experience too much. I can't deal with people like you."

"Like what?!" he snapped at me grabbing me by my upper arms."What's so bad about me that you can't handle or admit?"

Thunder roared from above causing me to yell even louder not thinking about the words that just burst out from my throat.

"That I fucking like you! I breathed harshly as I stared at him through my wet hair.

We both stood frozen staring at each other as more rain pored down on us. I swallowed blinking a few times as I finally realized what I had just said. My breathing stopped as I stared at him wide eyed like he was doing to me.

Alex looked at me sympathetically all the anger on his face diminishing. "You. . . like me?" He said slowly clearly in shock.

I was speechless for a few seconds as I stared at him in surprise. I pursed my lips together tightly looking down— I hesitated for my words as my lips formed them but my voice held back what I wanted to say. Finally I decided I needed to escape. I needed to get away from him! With that in my mind I removed myself from his grasp on both of my arms. I pulled on my hood and ran in the direction I had entered the woods with my backpack on my back I made my way by running the distance to school. But before I went inside I reached into my backpack and grabbed my other jacket I had brought to school just in case I left this one in my gym locker.

I shrugged it on and ditched the other in the trash. There was no way I could fix it. I headed for the nurses office asking for medicine for a cut. Once she saw my scratch mark she tested to see if it was infected and luckily it wasn't but she still cleaned it out any way and wrapped it up after putting medicine on the injury.

She asked few questions of how I had gotten such a long scratch. I lied and told her it was from a wild dog from my neighborhood. After saying this she asked no further about it.

Later that day I avoided Alex the best I could. He had come to school soaked by the rain, his red and black hair plastered to his gorgeous face as he sank down in the seat beside me in English Lit. I was guilty I couldn't help the emotion that passed through me.

Mrs. Stewart gave us instructions to continue to gather info on our partners for those who hadn't finished the activity yet that was still due for next Monday. Me and Alex were done with it so I buried myself in my other class work while Alex stared at me from the corner of his eye.

I ignored him the best I could, once every while I'd find my eyes trailing up his lean chest, neck and then to his...lips. I subconsciously bit my own bottom lip at the thought of kissing his. I snapped out of the sudden thoughts and quickly turned around back to my work. Trying to forget what I had just thought about, but they wouldn't leave me.

This morning was a mistake. How could I have told him that I had feelings for him, right when I completely didn't understand them myself? Just by Monday which was a few days ago we had become the avoidable and the chaser and we weren't even that any more. He sure as hell wasn't chasing me like he had been on Monday and Tuesday. Possible he was giving me space to think like I had always wanted ever since the first day of him being here, but now I found myself wanting him to speak to me again.

But I knew that confession I had made this morning would be a sensitive topic to make things awkward between us. It was weird though since I never really felt awkward around someone before besides him, and I knew he wanted answers from that outburst of me having a crush on him.

The rest of the day went by slowly but then again quickly because the next thing I knew the last bell for the day rang dismissing everyone from school. I was in my Physics class gathering my books and then shrugged on my backpack. People left in a rush and so did I. Alex pretty much shared this class with me as well as English Lit and Gym so in total we only had 3 classes together and in all of them I avoided him, just like I was going to continue doing for how long?...I didn't know. But deep down I hoped it wouldn't be for to long even though I knew we had fought earlier that morning I was feeling pulled into two places of wanting to avoid and wanting to talk to him.

I speed walked out of class ditching my books in my locker before setting out to the bus by the front entrance doors of the school. I made my way outside in the still clouded sky from raining earlier that morning. I cut through the student parking lot passing teens and their cars and before I could make it past the last set of cars and over to the bus parking I felt my mouth being covered as I was roughly pulled into a leather seat.

"Eeemm—"

"Sshhh,"Said the person that had my mouth clamped. He or she let me go and I quickly whipped my head around to see Alex's face.

"Are you serious?!" I said annoyed just from the fact that he had literally given me a heart attack by pulling me in his car like this.I turned and grabbed the passenger door handle trying to make my way out, I didn't want him to interrogate me about what I had said earlier, not now I wasn't ready for the awkward questions.

"Yes I'm serious," He said pulling me back away from the door handle by wrapping his arms around my upper body. I tensed up and froze.

"Alex, let go."

"So you can try to leave again when I have questions to ask you." He lamented still not letting me go. I watched as the students drove off with their friends in their cars. My bus was now departing from the school followed by the other busses. There was no point in me wanting him to let me go now since my bus which was my one ride home had left me behind, but still I thought it was better off walking home then getting interrogated by him.

I struggled in his strong hold trying to pry his arms off of me. "Alex let me go!"

"Would you calm down, you act like I'm going to hurt you. I need to talk to you at least once before you start avoiding me all over again."

"No! keep it to yourself. I know what you're going to say to me," I protested still trying to get him to let go of me.

 **"** No! you don't." He corrected.

"Yes! I do." I broke out of his grasp only to be grabbed again, forced to turn to him. His hands on either side of my face.

"Gareki, would you just listen," His voice rose.

"No!" I shook off his hold on me and pulled myself as far away from him as I could. "You said enough about me today, and I don't feel like getting hurt again."

Alex looked at me before sighing."We'll talk about this later." He turned around and started up the car turning to me again to put on my seat belt.

I reluctantly did and sat back in the leather seat with my arms crossed. I didn't ask where we were going as he drove, I suspected he was taking me home but once he drove down a different road I got concerned.

"Where are you taking me."

"My house." He stated nonchalantly.

"What! Why?"

"I have something to give you."

I wonder what that meant. Did I need anything from him right now?

We drove in silence the rest of the way not bothering to say anything further. I found my eyes staring at him like they had done earlier that morning. Roaming over his body. Was it normal to feel a slight interest of the person you liked naked. I felt weird once that thought passed my mind. I quickly pushed it out of my head as I felt uncomfortable.

"Gareki?" Alex called my name for the third time. I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to him.

"We're here." He stated before stepping out of the car.

I pushed my lips together in a tight line taking off my seatbelt before grabbing the door handle and exited the car, closing it behind me I followed him up to the front door.

"What exactly are you giving me," I asked as we both walked inside his house after he had unlocked the door with his key.

He turned to me and smiled, something he hadn't done all day until now. "It's a surprise." He ushered a hand for me to followed, and so I did. We walked up the stairs soon coming to his room. We entered.

"You can sit if you want." He offered setting down his backpack and walked over to his closet.

I didn't want to sit after all those thoughts I had tried to push away had come back. Causing my face to turn red as I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed. I turned away from him. He went into his closet where I heard him shuffling around.

I really began to wonder what surprise he had for me. Did I feel like I deserved it after the arguments I had put him through along with my secret family matters? I didn't get why he wanted to give me something.

He came out a few seconds later and was holding a special edition electric guitar, one I hadn't seen the last time I was here. He held it out to me. My eyes widened in surprise. "W-what?"

"Your surprise. You did say your dad broke yours right," He asked me.

"Yeah." I mumbled still in shock by what was happening. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I realized he was actually giving me this amazing instrument."You didn't have to." I said honestly, he really didn't have to get this for me.

I held onto the shiny black and white guitar with a strap attached to it where I could hang it around my neck if wanted. I touched the thin copper strings and strummed them once, hearing the sharp noise that came from them. I felt something inside of me snap back together as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. That awful moment when my dad had smashed my most prized possession lingered in my mind. He hadn't won, because I got back what I mostly loved to do. He may have smashed my last guitar but he definitely wasn't smashing this one.

I smiled slightly, setting the guitar down against the wall I said a thank you. Alex smiled at me for a moment both of us not taking our eyes away from each others. Both of our smiles slowly disappeared suddenly as we both gave each other a more intense look. I could have sworn I saw his eyes darken but before I could concentrate on it I felt my heart rush to life as he took a sudden quick step towards me, lips parted I felt his soft ones connect with mine like a small peck but then he pulled away slightly before going back in quickly but only more heated and intense. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as his lips over lapsed mine in a heated kiss. I couldn't hold my hands back as they roamed his hair pulling him deeper into me.

I heard him give out a small groan at my actions causing me to want more. He bit the bottom of my lip dragging it before letting it go and going back in for more. All the noise in the room was of us breathing harshly as we felt the need to keep touching each other with our lips.

Was I dreaming? I had no clue it all felt so unreal and yet like this was a reality. I moaned unconsciously on accident as his hand came up suddenly in my shirt touching my soft skin. The shock of it sent me hitting my back to the wall after pulling away from him.

I couldn't see my face but I felt the heat on my cheeks as I panted slightly for air. I stared at Alex wide eyed in disbelief. I then sank down against the wall until I reached the floor still in disbelief.

Apparently Alex was just as surprised."Oh God, I'm sorry Gareki," He said shocked at what we had just done.

I still tried to catch my breath as I looked up at him and smiled."You shouldn't apologize." I blushed further putting the back of my hand to my lips in a nervous sort of way."Actually it was my first time kissing a guy."

I got back up to my feet and faced him."Why did you do it?" I wanted him to tell me the truth of why he kissed me" I wasn't sure if he had feelings for me. The whole time we had been together he had only let on about us being friends.

"Do you like me?" I asked boldly.

He smiled at me before running a smooth hand in his hair. Oddly enough I found myself wanting to run my fingers through it again.

"Of course I do, I can't believe you didn't notice."

I gave him a confused look. "You're the one who wanted to be **friends** , remember that fight we had in gym the other day?"

"Gareki, I lied, of course I wanted to be friends with you but way more then friends if that makes since. I couldn't tell you because you were always distancing yourself away from me, I didn't know if you would like me the same way. Do you not remember the way I stared at you **all** the time?"

"I caught you at times but I had no idea you looked at me that much."

"I do." he said confidently. But then he gave me a serious look."But this complicates things, doesn't it?"

I sighed looking down. I already knew what he meant by that."Alex, I haven't told you this yet but. I can't really be out of my house until I get my grades up which is easier said then done, having that said...I don't know if I can see you besides at school."

He looked at me as if in thought. He furrowed his brows.

"How about after school tutoring." He suggested before coming up with something else."Or I could help you, all you need to do is tell your parents that you have an after school tutor."

I raised my eyebrows skeptically." like they'd believe that."

"Try it," He said seriously. "Maybe it'll work."

I still wasn't all to fond of this working out but I had to at least try. I nodded.

"Alright."

He smiled at me again all seriousness put aside."Alright, as for tomorrow I have to take you some where. You're going to love it."

I blinked at him before showing a smile of my own. "Can't wait."

Apparently I didn't have to avoid him any longer, and I was sure my overreaction over the admitting to have a crush on him was solved now. I just hoped nothing bad would come from it.


	12. Telling The Lie

**GothinBlack: Thank you all for the views you're giving this book!**

 **Telling The Lie- 11**

* * *

I looked out the window sitting in the passenger seat of Alex's car before we came to a stop in front of my house. My mood had decreased from being happy to cautious, there was no telling what was going to happen as soon as I stepped through the door. Sure my dad possible wouldn't be home at this time but he could be. In which I hoped that I was wrong.

I sat back in my seat staring down the empty street of the familiar neighborhood I had been living in nearly my whole life.

Alex sat beside me quiet and patient. I could tell that he didn't want me to leave and I didn't either. I was struck between the feelings of resistance and forwardness. I knew I had to go but I didn't want to, especially not after that kiss he had given me.

That had been the first time I had ever kissed a guy, and I liked it. . .more then anything.

I watched him from the corner of my eye as he turned to look at me, I didn't take my eyes away, we both had already admitted that we watched each other in school so this wasn't any different. But one thing struck me though. We were now together... as a couple. An unexpected couple that had secrets and limits that neither of us could tell anyone and it was all just to protect me and my mom.

I felt new and refreshed, as weird as it sounded, I felt like I had started a new chapter in my life with new experiences and now after two whole years I'm finally letting someone break down my walls and letting the person know me— the real me. Not the distant, aloof, bastard that always had shit to say but as a guy who's just like everyone else but with bad experiences that made me who I was. My reputation was a big misunderstanding but now I could fix it.

"You don't want to leave...do you?" Alex asked me after the long silence.

I turned to him. "You want me to—"

"No." He interjected quickly before turning his body towards me to look at me fully.

"Good then, I'll stay because I completely don't want to leave your car."

"Fine by me." He shrugged.

I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms before sighing."So, this whole after school tutoring lie will still work... right?"

"Course it will, you have to at least try. I mean..." he paused to roll his eyes. "Haven't you ever lied to your parents before?"

" I have. A lot of times actually." I admitted. That wasn't anything to be proud of but sometimes they didn't give me a choice.

"Well this shouldn't be hard for you." He a smiled."After all, you **are** doing this to hang out with me tomorrow and for the rest of the high school year, at least that's what I'm assuming how long we're going to be together."

I knew our sudden relationship probably wouldn't last but thinking about breaking up just by the end of this year made me skeptical. We weren't going to end it that quickly were we? I hoped not and I knew Alex didn't want us to break up that quickly either even though his guess was completely inaccurate.

Just thinking about breaking up made my heart quicken slightly. I removed the thought of it from my head as I focused on another subject.

"Why did you have a gun," I asked him referring to this morning when I had been attacked by wolves.

"Oh that." Alex said just now remembering it."Well...my dad works for security at a work building, I guess you could say he overreacted when he found out I would be going to school on my own for the very first time, which was when I was a freshman. All my life I had to be driven to school by one of my parents or family members all of them being to paranoid to let me go alone until I turned 16 which was last year when I got my drivers license and then my dad gave me a gun in order to protect myself. They're all sorts of people out there, you can't be too careful is what he told me."

I blinked before looking out the window again."It makes me wonder why my dad acts the way he does so suddenly. He wasn't at all like this when I was younger."

Alex frowned as I turned back to look at him.

"Gareki?" He asked slowly and a bit quietly."I think your dad has stress issues. Maybe that's the cause?"

"Stress?" I shook my head."I know his problem and it isn't stress. He's gotten bored of my mom."

Alex looked confused and waited for me to continue. So I explained to him what I thought my so called father was going through, I told him how my mom was probably not giving my dad as much as he wanted when it came to sex so he was attracted to other women that gave him more of a sexual thrill then my mother ever did, thus leading him up to cheating on her in secret.

"That's so fucked up." He admitted anger edged into his voice after hearing me explain.

"You're telling me...he loved her you know? But now..." I shrugged.

Alex sat back in his seat and stared ahead before saying."Sorry if I disagree with you but I still think it's stress he's dealing with—from work."

"If he was stressed for work then he could have just said that instead of threatening my mom's life. I seriously wish I could hurt him back just like he's done to me."

Alex turned to me quickly and gave me a stern look. "Don't do anything stupid or reckless, the least I can do is try and keep you alive while you live in this house with that fucking dad of yours." he sighed."Sorry if I offend—"

"No," I interrupted."I call him that too, I don't mind. I hate to call him my dad anyway. He doesn't deserve it."

Alex nodded silently."I wish there was something I could do for you but I know it'll only make the situation worse."

I didn't say anything instead grabbed my new guitar and gripped onto the door handle after unbuckling my seat belt."I know I can't stay in here with you forever, it's about time for me to go. Thanks for what you did for me, I appreciate it." Opening my door I was about to step out but Alex's hand clamped onto my shoulder.

I turned around confused only to be collided with his soft lips against mine. I had been too taken aback by the sudden action that I didn't react as he pulled away and smiled a small smile at me.

"Make sure you call me tonight. I'll be here tomorrow morning to pick you up."

I returned the small smile back at him before stepping out of the car."I will." I said pulling the guitar strap over my shoulder for a better hold as I shut the door and began walking up my drive way turning back to Alex to see him waving at me. I smiled again before unlocking the door and going inside giving him one last glance before closing the door.

Not wanting to bump into my dad if he was here, I quickly ascended the stairs and went into my now cleaned room that I spent doing all last night.

I quickly went over to my closet opened it and took out my guitar case, opening that I settled my new guitar down gently inside. Hopefully it wouldn't get destroyed this time. I then slid it under my bed. Miraculously my dad hadn't done anything underneath my bed when he had come to trash my room, at that time my electric guitar was just out in the open but now hopefully he wouldn't find this one.

I sat up on my knees after pushing it back far enough. I heard my name being called from down stairs and forced myself to my feet, my legs seemed to move on their own as I walked won the stairs.

Turning the corner I saw my mom in the door way. She was home early. Closing the front door she took off her black high heels from work. She looked up at me and smiled, some of her dark black hair falling in her face before she moved it to the side with the tips of her fingers.

"Hi, how are you?" she greeted as she walked through the entrance way into the kitchen.

"Uh...I'm good." I responded not expecting her chipper mood. Yesterday she had seemed...stressed when she thought I had messed up my room. It was weird how parents switched their attitudes on things so quickly. But then again, who was I to complain, it only made things easier to ask about the whole tutoring thing Alex had told me to lie about.

I sat down at the bar and watched as she emptied shopping bags of ingredients.

"Mom?"

She looked to me with her dark blue eyes. "What is it?"

"What do you think of the idea of me getting a tutor...at my school."

She blinked and paused for a few seconds before she smiled brightly. "Is this really **my** son I'm talking to right now?"

I fake laughed. "Very funny, but I'm pretty sure our similar features tells you that I am **your** son. What do you think about the idea of me going every week day after school?"

"Hmm." She brought A finger up to her chin in thought."Well...it is a good idea, and I do want you to get your grades up, I guess the only questions are is if it's free and is the tutor that's teaching you smartly qualified?"

I thought about Alex and subconsciously felt my lips pull into a smile. "Of course, he's plenty smart. And I'm sure it's free, I've seen a lot of students attend it and never heard them say they had to pay a single piney."

"Well then of course you can go. Now, can you help me with these groceries," She asked.

I nodded feeling surprised that the lie had actually worked. I had my doubts when Alex told me it would, but now I guess he had been right. I got out of my seat and helped her unpack.

* * *

I lay in bed that night looking up at the sealing on my bed. I looked towards my alarm clock it read 9:49PM. I hadn't heard my dad enter the house at all yet, it wasn't like I was waiting for him but it was more waiting for the moment my mom would realize he's late for his curfew. Normally he would come home at 9:00PM but he was minutes late.

Bored I figured I'd play a few strings on my new guitar but stopped as my phone rang on my night stand. I reached for it and grabbed it pressing the answer button before holding it to me ear. I didn't bother looking at the caller ID the only person that had my number was Alex.

"Hey." Came his voice.

"Hey," I answered.

How'd it go? Did you tell them?

"I told **her**." I corrected him knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"Just your mom, why not your dad?"

"He isn't here yet plus he probably wouldn't believe it if I told him. I mean, I have a feeling he unlike my mom might actually see through the lie."

"No he won't—I mean if it worked with her then it'll work with him too." Alex suggested.

I laid back down against my pillow. "Alright fine I'll tell him, or at least try."

"Are you afraid?" Alex asked me worriedly.

"Of course I am. Having your own dad hit you for stupid reasons is a lot scarier then you could imagine."

He went quiet for a moment.

"Alex?"

"Sorry...I was just thinking." He said slowly.

"About...?"

"That maybe you should tell your mom what he's been doing to you—"

"Don't," I interrupted. "It'll all go bad if I do that, If you really think about it I can't do anything about what he's doing to me. My mom is way to loyal towards him, she won't believe me If I tell her he's been hitting on me or if I say anything she'll confront him about it. When he started hitting me for the very first time he warned me not to tell her about it or else he would...kill her."

"And you believe him," Alex asked surprised.

"Yes! He already tried to strangle me— who's to say he won't actually try to kill her too."

Alex went quiet again.

I closed my eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean for the conversation to get off topic."

"No that was my fault." he admitted. "I should be saying sorry."

I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose,"Alright... can we please change the subject?"

"I agree with that."

I shifted my position laying on my back."What are you doing right now?"

"I'm literally doing nothing...just...hanging off the side of my bed." He replied.

I laughed slightly."What?"

"I'm on my back and my head his hanging off the bed there fore I'm looking at my room upside down." He explained.

I opened my eyes and smiled. "Why?"

"Don't tell me that you don't find yourself in weird positions when talking to someone on the phone?"

"Nope." I said still staring up at my sealing.

"So you never hung off your bed, walked around in meaningless circles, or fidgeted whenever talking to some one on the phone?" Alex sounded skeptical.

"Ironically, no I haven't. I stay still and just stare at the things in my room." I said casually."Mainly the sealing."

"Well you must be new to the whole talking on the phone thing." He offered with a laugh in his voice.

But I didn't laugh. What he had just said made me think and realize something.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever been in a relationship before meeting me?"

"I know this'll seem strange but, no...I haven't. I wasn't really interested of the idea of being with some one at that point in my life but that was before I transferred to your school," He said.

"In which you met me..." I finished for him.

". . .Yeah. That sums it up."

"But why," I asked him. "Why would you pick... someone like me?"

I heard a rustle in the background on his end. I guessed he was sitting up in bed now.

"You were different, I didn't know why but I felt drawn to you, like I couldn't—or more like I **didn't** want to get away from you." He started. "I guess you could say I liked you from the start. What about you, how long did you realize you had a crush on me?"

I hesitated at the sudden question turn."Well, from the very beginning I thought you were going to be like everyone else, distancing yourself away from me and not paying any attention to me— which is what I wanted. But you did the exact opposite. I had a wall up that no one could break through, but you broke through it so easily, you noticed things about me that no one else bothered to know about or ask. The more you talked to me I guess my emotions grew and then subcontiously without me knowing I started to like you.

"I guess you were a lot like me at first to." he said and I could tell that he was smiling form the way his voice sounded.

I shook my head holding back the small laugh I had inside."So for tomorrow where are you planning to take me?"

"Nice try but it's still a surprise. You'll have to wait."

"I can't at least get a hint?"

I heard him sigh."Your lucky that you're my boyfriend now. I know you like playing guitar and since you have to hide the one I just gave you I decided to take you to my job so there you can play it all you want without the noise going through your whole house maybe then your dad won't break it."

My eyes widened. "No way, seriously-that's a great idea."

"I knew you'd agree. Luckily I won't be working my shift tomorrow either so I get to show you more of what I know." He suggested.

"I bet you're excited." I said.

"Well you should be to. I mean your guitar playing wasn't bad at all. You should be excited to show me more of what you can do. You're talented."

"Yeah maybe, thanks." I fumbled, it was then a knock came at my door. I looked at it from the corner of my eye before looking back at the sealing." I'll see you tomorrow morning, I need to go."

"Okay, see you then, bye."

I hung up tapping the end call button before the door to my room opened to my mother looking at me concerned.

I raised an eyebrow and turned to her.

"Your father still isn't back, do you know where he is?" She asked me.

I would be lying if I had said I wasn't tempted to tell her what and where my father was and what he was possibly doing at this moment but I rethought about it before I could say a word." I don't know." I said instead.

She looked confused but then grabbed my door knob and closed my door.

I felt guilty but this was to protect her. There was nothing I could say that would ever be the truth about my dad, I knew it all would lead up to something bad. I wished that this would be over. All of the lies that I had to tell and the stupid secret I had to keep hidden. At some point I feared it would mess up my life for good.


	13. New People

**New People-12**

* * *

My body shook violently as I felt the stab to my leg sink into my flesh. I screamed in pain unable to hold it back any longer through the tape that stuck to my lips tightly to block out the noise. My eye's were frantic in the middle of the night, peaking around the darkness trying my best to make out where I was. I felt the sharp object pull out swiftly only to penetrate my stomach. The air washed out of me as I screamed again the tears stinging at my eyes before rolling down my temples.

"Shut up!" came the man's voice. "Just... shut up!"

I forced myself to be quiet. Even if I still had a scream lodged inside my throat. That voice had sounded familiar. The anger in it made me realize that it was my own father. Why was he doing this to me—what had I done wrong? Had I done something?

The scent of alcohol floated my nostrils as he breathed above me. My eyes darted around in a panic of what he was going to do next. I felt the warmness leak into my shirt knowing full well that it was my blood. I cried shutting my eyes tightly trying not to let my sobs emit from my throat but despite my efforts one escaped causing me to get a hard blow to the head. I then felt the tape rip off of my mouth as I cried out painfully.

"What did I tell you," He shouted, voice loud in my ears. I felt him yank both of my wrists and pull me further onto the ground of straw. Were we in a field—no we had to be in some sort of barn because the next thing I knew I felt my sides hit against a wooden cage pin and the smell of manure filled my nose. The light came on from the dangling bulb above us. It swung back and forth making the light swing with it.

My eyes widened and dilated from the sudden brightness, I couldn't block it with my arms because the fucker still had a strong grip on them. I felt a rope being tide to them from the wrists as he laid me on a cutting table tying my legs apart and holding them at bay by another strong rope tide to a post.

My eyes kept darting around me as I saw hooks hanging from the sealing but it was then that I looked down in between my legs a few inches away from cutting me in half was a circular saw cutter. Specifically used only for wood for a faster process for building. But why was I on it?

I looked up at my so called dad who was in a pair of old blue jeans in a blooded T shirt with a pair of black leather gloves. He smiled sadistically at me before moving aside to reveal another person. My guess is that the boy he showed me was around my age. But why was he here? As I stared at him further my heart beat quickened as I realized from the black hair to the red strands was Thorne—my boyfriend...Alex Thorne. What was he doing here tide up like that?

I felt myself panic as I saw the line of blood from his mouth and his white T shirt stained with blood from a cut on his neck as his head held to the side awkwardly, his eyes were faded and lifeless...he didn't blink once and that was what scared me the most.

"Oh my god!" I screamed in panic. He was dead. Why him? What had he done to deserve death? I watched him not daring to turn my head. The tears stung my eyes even more as I screamed in sorrow not knowing what else to do. My dad stood arms folded with a smile on his face at my pained expression. I immediately felt anger towards him.

"You murderer!" I shouted at him as I pulled roughly at my ropes that held me down. "I hate you— you fucking monster! He didn't deserve any of this!" I cried feeling the hot tears slide down my face, the stupid ropes wouldn't let me go, they gripped me tightly holding me down as all I could do was shout in his face.

I felt weak and vulnerable. That made me even more upset about the situation. I sobbed louder closing my eyes tightly hoping to god that this was a nightmare...a horrible twisted nightmare that I would soon wake up from, but I grew skeptical that this was that, every moment felt real no matter how I looked at it.

My dad walked over to a switch that I hadn't noticed until now. I watched him as he flicked it upwards and the saw came to life as it slowly cut into the wood getting closer to me between my legs. My eyes widened and I struggled against the ropes.

I hyperventilated in panic as my heart thudded against me chest even faster. I pulled at my binds harder, hoping that at least one would let me go so I could escape.

"This is a lesson you'll learn. People who are close to you will always meet a bad end." The man spoke to me coldly. I treid to block out the words he had said but they only ended up echoing in my head along with the saw that was making it's way closer to me. I felt the sharpness cut right through me and I screamed the next thing I knew I slammed onto the floor falling out of my bed shaking my body in panic vigorously making it look like I was having a seizure. I breathed in panic clenching my jaw tightly as I slowly realized what was around me. I still shook, my heart pounding in my chest from the nightmare. Up above me, my alarm clock went off sounding off the next day of school. Today was Friday.

I snapped my eyes open letting out a whine that had been held in my throat before I full on screamed sitting up strait as my body continued to shake.

I heard my door bang open as it hit the wall behind it and my mom came in quickly looking around in panic before her blue eyes settled on me.

"Gareki!" she shouted quickly coming over to me and kneeled down to comfort me.

"What's wrong?" She asked sounding panicked at my sudden screaming. I pulled myself away from her suddenly going quiet as I continued to breath harshly. I then noticed I was in my room not on a saw table getting cut in half but then I remembered.

"Alex, where is he!?" I asked suddenly. My mind not fully awake yet had thought I was still in the nightmare. My mom stood up looking at me confused as I walked around my room quickly still half panicking.

"Gareki calm down! Who's Alex?"

I stopped and stayed quiet for a few moments before my mind resurfaced to reality. I blinked a couple times feeling my heart return to it's normal rate. I turned to my mom.

"I-it was just a nightmare." I told her running a hand through my messed up hair. I could tell that I looked like a crazy person without the need for a mirror. "What was it about," she asked still looking at me worriedly.

I looked out my window at the sun risen sky. "It's nothing mom...really." She still looked concerned for me but I didn't want to talk about it...at all. I heard her grab my door knob." I'll make breakfast, do you want to go to school today—"

"Yes." I answered quickly —a bit too quickly. She nodded slowly before closing my door keeping her eyes on me as she did. I fell to my knees with a sigh covering my face with both hands that were cold and still shacking.

I had never in my life had a life threatening nightmare like that before.

I sank down in the passenger seat of Alex's BMW wearing black skinny jeans, a dark grey sleeveless T shirt, converse, and a couple of black stringed bracelets tide to my one wrist that had the small scar from my knife cut. I sat my electric guitar that he had given me down in the back seat.

The teachers had suddenly told us in class yesterday that we would get a new class period on our schedules only for those who are musically educated with any form of instrument who would like to sign up for it. I didn't know if Alex had gotten that announcement since we were both in different classes when they had told us the info. Like I said before...we only had three classes together.

"Morning." Alex greeted once I buckled in. A small smile on his lips as his lip ring shined when the sun hit against it. I slowly turned to him exposing how my sudden awakening of panic went this morning. He flinched at the pale and tired sight of my face as I then turned back around to look out the wind shield.

"Whoa—what happened?" He asked. As he did I suddenly had terrible flashes of his dead body from the nightmare and shivered shutting my eyes tightly. "Are you okay...?"

"Y-yeah!" I lied quickly. I didn't want to speak of it, all I hoped was for it to disappear and never resurface from my memories.

He sat there staring at me skeptically.

I turned to him quickly. "Nothings wrong Alex—"

"You are not lying to me right?" he asked, giving me a hard look that made my insides twist nervously. Why was he so intimidating? He acts all nice one second and then he's suddenly scary. I felt like I still didn't understand him which was obvious since we had just gotten together.

"No. I'm fine." my voice had made it sound the opposite of being fine and I slightly cringed. but it looked to me he hadn't caught it at least I thought he didn't.

He shook his head sighing as he started up the car. We drove on the high way in the direction of the school quietly. "You're lying and I can definitely tell, you're like an open book Gareki so you might as well stop." Alex suddenly said.

My eyes widened slightly. Was I really that obvious? "Why would you say that?" I turned to him but he didn't glance once at me.

"Is it your dad, did he do something?" The mentioning of my dad brought the flashes of the nightmare to my head again making me take in a sharp breath and sit back in my seat hitting my head against the head cushion.

Alex looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Are you sure you're okay?"His voice drowned out as the memories of what happened flashed in my head. The blood, the screaming, the dead body of my own and Alex's, the sound of the saw cutting into me. An overwhelming feeling exploded inside me as I opened my eyes from Alex calling me for the third time.

We were in front of the school in the student parking lot. I found myself breathing harshly as I felt Alex's hands on either side of face. His grey and white specked eyes looking strait into mine.

"You're not okay?" He spoke softly with concern, his eyes shook as he stared into my own even further.

"Tell me. . ."he said softly his gorgeous face intimidating me further as I looked down at his full lips. Suddenly finding myself moving without knowing it, both of our lips connecting in a soft wanting kiss before I pulled away not only from his lips but from him as well. Grabbing my things quickly I ran out of his car and up the side walk into the school passing other students up as I climbed the stairs to the second floor.

I hugged myself tightly as I went into the men's restroom finding no one inside as I leaned against the wall and slid down it slowly while shutting my eyes tightly finally landing on the ground before I pulled my knees into me hugging them, I buried my head into them. My guitar sitting next to me.

He was only trying to help me...so why did I push him away...?

In class for first period I did my work sluggishly not being able to hold my pencil as my fingers shook. It was obvious that I was distracted because of things in my mind because in every class I went in that day teachers would pick me to explain the lesson but I was speechless every time, getting the angry eye from every one of my them.

Alex had been looking at me a lot more then usual with that same intense look of wonder. There was one point where he asked me what was wrong with me. But I couldn't answer it, that nightmare did something to me that caused a panic to go through me every time he asked something related to it or made me think about it.

I climbed the stairs after lunch and made my way to band, my new class that I had signed up for. I held my guitar case as I walked in the door only to be hit by a boy who rushed past me around my age or possibly was my age with. . .white hair he had purple ends. I blinked down at him as he stopped and looked up at me. His eye was strangely red with small specks of yellow. I frowned at him looking at the long side of his hair that was covering his other eye I swore I saw an eye patch.

"Sorry I'm in a hurry,"he said turning away from me quickly before I could get a good look at him, he ran down the long hall before disappearing down the stairs.

I turned back around to mind my own business and walked into the class where only a few amount of people were in either playing their instrument or tuning them up. The room was big but loud with instruments playing.

I looked around and quickly saw the familiar red and black hair of my boyfriend. So he had signed up for this class too. He was sitting on the steps that was mostly what the class was made up of. A board a dark carpet floor and steps to sit on since I didn't see a single chair in the room. He was strumming on an acoustic guitar and singing. His angelic voice going around the room feeding every ones ears his amazing voice. A crowd of girls were surrounding him in which I found myself surprised at.

I mean— wait a sec that was the wrong choice of words. It made since he had girls around him. He was talented, well mannered with gorgeous features and a lean strong body, even I fell for that the moment I first saw him so of course girls were around him.

But oddly enough I felt a since of. . .jealousy cross over me. I tried to ignore it but having your own boyfriend surrounded by the female body was hard to restrain that sudden feeling.

I sighed, about to take a step towards them but felt a body slam into my back making me and the unknown person fall over. I turned around feeling half annoyed only to see the same white haired boy with red eyes.

"Crap. . .I'm sorry." he spoke. "Didn't see you." He scratched his head nervously at my glare.

"You should seriously watch where you're going." I said to him, picking myself up along with my guitar hoping it wasn't broken after that hard fall I had just taken. I turned to look at him now getting a full good look. He was. . .good looking just like Alex. He was about my height but a slight bit shorter with a lean build on his chest and stomach. His white hair was messy with a slight curl to it that covered up one of his eyes only revealing one that glowed a bright red from the reflection of the lights above us. He had a piercing on the side of his nose.

I also noticed a small black choker around his neck and he was wearing it with a dark red long sleeves shirt with black thin strips across it, black ripped skinny jeans and red VANS. I lifted an eyebrow as he stared at me for a long time without saying anything.

"Who are you. . ." I asked slowly, my annoyance washing away from me.

"Nai." He replied softly looking at me in wonder."Who are you?" I reached down and held out my hand towards him. He looked at it before smiling and grabbing it allowing me to pull him back up to his feet. I made a move to let his hand go but he didn't let go of mine. I opened my mouth to give him my name. It's. . .

"Gareki?" But I wasn't the one who had said it. I turned looking behind myself to see Alex staring down at me arms crossed with a stern look crossing over his face. "What are you doing?" he asked looking directly at Nai. His voice came out demanding. Nai let go of my hand and I side stepped so I was standing in front of him." No the question is what's wrong with you? Why do you sound mad?"

"I asked you first." he uttered. I lifted a hand to my hip before pointing towards Nai. "I'm talking to him, is that so wrong?" I lifted an eyebrow. He looked at Nai before looking back at me." It might as well be." with that said he grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from him."

I turned back to look at Nai before shrugging confusedly turning back to Alex as he pulled me up the steps before dropping my hand

"Alex?" I protested as he let go of my wrist, I dropped it back down to my side." What the hell was that just now?"

He stopped and turned to me." Sorry, I just don't feel comfortable with you being near him."

I stared at him realizing something." Are seriously jealous?"

He gave me no expression which made it hard for me to tell what he was feeling at the moment. He leaned into my ear." Just remember that you're mine." he turned and walked up the steps back into the spot he was sitting in.

I felt a rushing heat fall onto my face as I stood there." What made him say that?" I was beginning to think he had been jealous just like I had been. I shrugged it off for now and sat down on the step that I had been standing on before taking out of guitar and played a few strings. It didn't take long for me to get caught up in my thoughts.

I looked down at my guitar strings, one of them sounded off. It was then that a pair of dark combat boots walked up to me. I eyed them for a second before slowly bringing my eyes up and saw a girl with short black hair, pale skin, with a dark red mini skirt with a long sleeved black shirt that was purposely ripped in some places. Her legs were lined with black fishnets, and she wore black lipstick. It was obvious that she was Goth. Her style of choice stated that. I had no problem with it ,myself being an Emo and all.

"So...you're Gareki huh?" she asked me.

"Who wants to know?" I stopped strumming at my guitar.

"Me." she stated simply before pointing at Nai. "And him. We're new here are you?"

"No. I've been here since freshman year. Who are you?" I asked deciding to get to know someone else in this class just to be friendly. That was a first.

"D.C. But it's really Darcy I prefer if you call me by that nick name though."

"Okay, D.C." I tried it out.

"There you go," she said, smiling. It was then that Nai came over with an electric guitar in his hand and sat down next to me.

"So you're both new and you like guitar, am I right?" I asked putting my fingers into position on my own instrument.

"Yeah we do, it passes the time," Nai said with a smile. "But there's still some things we need to learn. What about you?"

I turned to him and lifted an eyebrow. "Me," I asked kind of surprised that the conversation was turned back to me that quickly, I had expected him to say more. You have to understand that I was new to talking to people besides Alex who was so persistent at getting to know me during his first day here. So it surprised me that more people actually wanted to know about me.

"Yeah, you," Nai said. "Why did you sign up for this class?"

I looked down at my guitar. Well. . .Im talented when it comes to music. I guess." I shrugged.

"Who taught you?" Asked D.C taking a seat next to me as well.

"Myself," I said plainly.

Nai lifted his eyebrows. "You did? Show me what you got?"

I turned to him and smirked. "You sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Show us what you can do. Answered D.C.

"Alright then lets see if you know this one. I offered before getting a pick out of my pocket before setting it on the strings and soon I started to play the instrumental version to Slipknot's Before I forget. Of course I was excited to play it in front of an actual crowd instead of one person which had been Alex. But I kept my fingers steady on the strings making sure to not mess up, it wasn't like I could though since I practiced at home a lot I almost never made a mistake. I moved my head up and down slightly to the beat of the song I played. My fingers moved quickly as I played with more enthusiasm. It was so exciting playing a guitar that could make you move your head and fingers so much. I closed my eyes letting the music take over as I continued playing. I didn't realize I was gaining a crowd around me until I was done, in which I opened my eyes and saw all the people staring at me but soon clapped at my talented playing.

Nai leaned in to my ear and whispered. "That was slipknot before I forget." he had guessed correctly. I nodded my head at his perfect guess.

"That was completely awesome Gareki," said D.C clapping for me.

"Agreed."Said Nai." I wish I played like that. What's your secret?"

I smiled at him. Lots and lots of practice.

"Pssh." He rolled his eyes. "Typical."

The teacher introduced himself as being known to be Mr. Walters after calming every one down and telling them to get back into their seats. Alex sat to the right of me and Nai sat to the left along with D.C. Strangely enough I had made new friends that seemed to like the same things as me.

I was surprise at myself and kind of. . . proud but I knew I would still have to keep my private life a secret only person that was allowed to know was Alex. That was it.

This mornings earlier nightmare had vanished from my mind for now, but little did I know that Alex was still thinking about it.


	14. Thankful

**Thankful—13**

* * *

As band class went on I found myself laughing more than usual. What was wrong with me? This was a complete foreign feeling for me, a person who always stayed serious and distant from those around me. As it turns out both Nai and D.C were really cool people to hang with. They took my mind off the problematic things. I talked to him asking him questions about the school so far considering he was new, feeling every second of Alex watching us. I thought he was over reacting with the whole situation of me interacting with Nai and truthfully he was, but I didn't notice. Maybe he was jealous of Nai. But I didn't find that amusing—I had offered him to join us in conversation while we played our guitars but he shook his head and kept his distance. My smile went away slowly as Nai spoke to me. His voice becoming distant in my ears as I grew distracted. My eyebrows furrowed in concentration as I thought to myself. "I'll be right back." I interrupted his talking.

"Okay, are you alright. You blanked out on me for a few seconds," he asked.

I nodded." Yeah, I just need to handle something really quick." He nodded before turning to D.C and both of them began playing their instruments. The band room was a loud room of musical noise, some were practicing and some were just talented up to my level of expertise. I climbed the short stairs up to Alex who was sitting on the very top. He was the only one at the top while everyone was below or in the middle. I wondered why was he distancing himself from the people around? But I would be lying if I had said I wasn't slightly happy about it, I mean those girls were surrounding him and it made me fidget every second that they were. Any one would get like that when their significant other was surrounded by attractive people that wanted to date him.

I sat down next to him and placed my guitar in my lap and randomly started strumming a few notes quietly as I asked."What's wrong with you?" He looked up at me a blank look on his face." Nothing," he said flatly. I continued to strum at my guitar but stopped as I turned to him and lifted an eyebrow. He was looking away from me, focusing on his own guitar. Sighing I lifted my guitar and set it down on the floor next to me before facing him fully." Okay I'm serious, what's the matter with you. You're. . .distant." as soon as the words passed my lips he brought his eyes to me a not so happy look in his eyes." **I'm** the distant one," he asked, his voice sounding agitated now. He stopped strumming as he focused completely on me.

I nodded slowly deciding to shrug off the way he had sounded." Yeah, you are. Why are you up here all alone? I thought you'd sit by me." I could see the muscles in his jaw clench as he stared at me with a hard look." I don't get you. . .I completely don't understand you at times and this is definitely one of those times."

I frowned in confusion as he stood up asking permission to be dismissed from class. I watched him grab his guitar before walking away from me." Where are you going, Alex?" he turned to face me." Anywhere but here, I'm sure you made it clear that you didn't want to tell me what was wrong with you this morning even though we've talked about this. You told me that you'd tell me things that were clearly bothering you. But. . ."he shrugged." I guess not." he said bitterly before turning away from me, heading down the stairs the rest of the way before exiting the class.

I sat there frozen not fully registering what had just happened but when I did I quickly stood up and ran down the stairs asking for permission to be dismissed as well and as soon as the teacher said yes I bolted out of the class room. I heard D.C call after me but I ignored her as the class door shit behind me. The noise of it echoing through the long hall. I walked out looking down the hall to see Alex walking away, a hand pushing back his hair as he speed walked further away from the class.

I shook my head jogging after him." Wait a minute, Alex." but despite me saying this he didn't stop nor did he turn around to look at me." You're following me now," he said

"Of course I'm following you, I want to know what your problem is. I'm not looking forward to having another dispute with you." I ran up behind him just as he had stopped abruptly and turned to face me. He still had a hard look on his face." Big words Gareki, big words but definitely not a big mind to figure out what's really wrong with me, even though the answer is clearly obvious. How about you just go back into class and hang around Nai, okay?"

He turned away from me making a step forward but I grabbed his shoulder and turned him back around to face me again." What the hell does Nai have to do with any of this? You're jealous of him aren't you?" His eyes didn't meet mine when I said that. I gave him a surprised look as realization hit." You are. . ." He bit his lip turning his head away from me now as he shoved his hands into his pockets. I slowly shook my head, I had thought he'd be jealous of Nai but that had been just a theory I hadn't expected him to actually feel that way.

I eyed him wearily." You shouldn't feel that way, he's just to the school, you can't expect him to like me in a relationship sort of way, I mean. . .you don't even know if he's gay."

Alex turned back to me." Yeah, well I still feel weird when you're near him, okay?"

I crossed my arms over my chest." Well he's my friend now, sorry but you're just going to have to deal with me being near him, but I guarantee you he doesn't like me in that way. We literally just met."

He reluctantly nodded." Fine, but back to the topic about you."

I blinked at him cocking my head as I lifted an eyebrow." What about me?"

He sighed." Quit acting like you don't know. This morning you ran away from me leaving me with a kiss right when I had asked you what was wrong with you? We spoke about this like I said earlier."

I pursed my lips before slowly speaking." It's complicated." Alex leaned against the wall next to him still with his hands in his pockets." Try me." he urged. I opened my mouth but words didn't come out like I had expected them to. I didn't want to think about the terrifying nightmare I had that morning. I shook my head taking a step away from him." I can't I have my reasons, it's something personal."

He stared at me shacking his head after a few seconds had passed. "I can't believe you Gareki. You need to tell me what's the matter with you or else I can't help, and I really want to."

I opened my mouth again to explain everything but as I did this time the nightmare flashed inside my head.

The air blew out of me as my eyes widened. I froze. The world around me grew dark and I panicked, I felt my self lose air as I hyperventilated looking around myself in panic. The hooks hung above us both dripping the blood I had seen in the nightmare from the barn. The floor slowly changed into straw and I could hear the saw cutting away behind me piercing my ears with it's loud noise as I heard my scream in my ears. My mouth was shut in reality so I was relieving the moment that I died. the hallway we were in grew long and dark as each end brightened up with a white light. I backed away as Alex looked at me funny.

Gareki?- he took a step towards me before I blacked out and I heard a loud thud knowing it was my body that had fallen over, unconscious.

* * *

I blacked in and out of the darkness hearing yelling for help.

"What happened?" I heard an urgent voice from Nai.

"I need your help!" I heard Alex say before I felt my body being pulled.

"This is crazy! We need the teacher," yelled D.C.

The rest of their words were blocked out by my screaming in the nightmare and the saw cutting away at my body. The next thing I knew I heard a loud beeping in my ears and I immediately snapped my eyes open taking in a sharp breath as if I had been held under water for a long time. I sat up quickly having to be pushed down back onto the bed as some one yelled at me.

"You're fine, you're fine," said the nurse. She tried to calm me down by telling me to breathe slowly through my nose and I did but it came out harsh as my body shook and shivered from the terror I had been put through in my dreams. "Is he awake?" asked a voice from a distance.

I looked over to see Alex at the door looking at me worriedly as my body kept shacking uncontrollably from the fear eating away at me.

He looked like he wanted to cry as he turned back to the nurse." Is he having a seizure?!"

"No," She said hurriedly, he's having a panic attack I need this room cleared **now** , we can't have any distractions," She yelled as she held me down. I cried out throwing my head back as a memory from the nightmare unwantingly came into my head. Nai and D.C stood along side Alex wondering what was going on but I ignored them as if they weren't in the room. My body twitched at every touch the nurse gave me trying to push me down on the bed.

"Let me go." I heard the sound of my voice in my ears as I struggled against the bed. I feared that I was going to be sucked into the dream again and I fought against the nurses hold on me. She had to call in two men to hold me down as she pulled out a needle from a syringe. I fidgeted even more my mind wasn't listening to me as it had thought the needle was some sort of weapon to kill me.

I felt it enter my bicep and I shut my eyes tightly as I clenched my jaw shut feeling myself twitch. Then with a slow movement she pulled it out, I felt my body respond to the drug as it got weaker by the seconds ticking by. I cried feeling my shoulders shack from my sobs as I shut my eyes tightly letting the tears roll down my temples as I drifted to sleep.

* * *

The next time I woke up I found that it was the end of the day as the last bell rang and students walked quickly to the entrance doors. I blinked at the dim lighting around me as the lamp beside me brightened up half the room. I sat up slowly reaching a hand up to my head to sooth the sudden thudding against my skull. I didn't realize that Nai was sitting in one of the chairs sitting in the dark shadows of the corner until he said something and startled me. I quickly turned around to look at him.

"You're awake." He sounded surprised. He got up from his seat and came up to me. His one red eye looking at me concerned. "What happened to you?" I opened my mouth to say something but I was speechless for a few minutes. I looked away from him eyeing my hands and the scar that was on my wrist." I hadn't...wanted you to see any of that."

His eyebrow furrowed. "It's okay." he put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I looked at it from the corner of my eye before averting them up to his." How long have you been sitting over there?"

I've been in here for a while me, D.C and Alex have," he replied quietly." But in other words tell me what's going on with you, you went completely crazy."

I bit my lip hearing him say that, I honestly didn't know what had happened to me, the nightmare just felt real and it had scared me more than anything I've ever dealt with in my life." I have a problem." I muttered, planning that to be the only words I said to him, I only needed Alex to know about my secret I wasn't sure if Nai would take it well if I told him.

"We all have our problems,"he said, dropping his hand away from my shoulder as he stood up strait.

"But yours aren't as serious as mine," I interjected looking up at him sternly. He frowned at me. "What do you mean?" I shook my head keeping quiet. I had already said too much, I couldn't say anymore then that. The door to the nurses office opened to show D.C and Alex carrying their guitars and backpacks. Alex was holding my backpack and my guitar since I had left them in band that morning.

I sighed not wanting any of them to look at me from my earlier unexpected tantrum. Their goes the new friends I had just made along with the boyfriend, they probably thought I was a crazy freak now. I expected them to all leave me behind. Alex because we were always fighting about something in my private life, and both Nai and D.C because they possible already thought I was the weirdest person they had ever met from my unexpected panic attack earlier. This was why I distanced myself from people, it would always end badly no matter how hard I tried to get to know them.

I shrugged off the blanket that was covering me and put my feet on the floor ready to get up and leave from the humiliation I felt at that moment. I had had enough."Whoa, wait a sec,"said Alex, putting his and my things down before coming over to me grabbing my shoulder. But I moved away from him as I stood up only to topple over to the side because my legs weren't yet functioning with the rest of my body. they had fallen asleep and were numb.

Both Alex and D.C held me up saving me from the fall and sat me back down on the bed.

D.C pulled back and looked at me worriedly with her dark amber eyes."Maybe you should sit for a few more minutes." she shrugged.

I shook my head."No, I need to go."

"Go where," Alex urged.

"Home!" I hadn't expected myself to yell at him. I looked at all of them as they grew quiet. I shook my head and gripped the edge of the bed. "I can't do this anymore! I can't interact with people knowing how humiliated I made myself today, not to mention you all think I'm crazy or have some fucked up problem in my head. I can't deal with people like you. As harsh as it sounds I'm only trying to keep you guys away from me so you won't get hurt."

I looked down as the silence ate away at me. I heard a slight clap and then another and yet another. I looked up to see D.C clapping her hands with a smile on her face...both Nai and Alex were clapping too.

I looked back and forth at all of them in confusion. "What," I said slowly. Nai smiled slightly."We all have our problems was what I was trying to say to you when you woke up. You're not the only one who's been hit or abused in some way."

My eyes widened. "What!?" I looked at Alex. "You told them?"

"I had to, they were getting close to the truth anyway once they saw the state you were in, I had no other choice." He said to me.

I stared at him in shock. "Why would yo—"

"Don't worry...we'll keep your secret in order to protect you and your mom, right," asked D.C.

"We've done this before Gareki. We've been through it all trust us on this." Nai offered. I didn't know what to say. They had actually found out about my secret and now they were accepting to keep it a secret from other people, and yet they understood what I was going through. Never had I ever expected these two to be abused in some way and forced to keep their own secrets from others just like me.

I turned to Nai."What did you mean when you said you've all been abused in some way?"

Nai looked at Alex and Alex looked at him. "I think you should tell him what you told us," Nai suggested. I was confused as I turned to Alex expectedly. He looked at me and for a moment he didn't speak.

He put his hands into his pockets before sighing slightly before he spoke."When I was younger around the age of 11 me and my younger sister around 6 at the time was taken away from my home in the middle of the night we were gone for an entire month but within that time we were forced to commit crimes that I didn't want to do. I don't feel comfortable telling you what we did but I can tell you that if I didn't listen to those men that had taken us they would abuse us brutally. They cut us and assaulted us, some times burned us, I still have bruises. That night when you and I met after our argument I told you I was running at night just to handle stress. Well I lied. I run at night because I'm trying to distract myself from the moment they killed my younger sister just because I wouldn't listen to what they had ordered me to do. I could do nothing as they burned her body. I guess you could say this is why I'm so protective of you and how your dad hurts you like that."

I was completely in shock at this point. My boyfriend... of all people had been abused? _How could he have dealt with that?_ I thought to myself before asking."But you act so normal, like it never happened. How do you do something like that? Waking up every day having to realize that something like that happened to you?"

Alex sighed and crossed his arms."I try...to forget that moment the best I can but the truth is I never really forget, it's always in the back of my mind no matter what I do. The day that you told me that your father was doing those things to you that made me really remember how terrible things can be if you're in a position like that. I'm not saying my memories of that time in my past is your fault it's just been stuck in my mind since day 1 of me meeting you. So the truth is I try to make the best of it each day by being happy. It was in the past there's nothing I can do now. You can't keep living in the past forever. That was what my mom told me when I couldn't get over the fact my sister was dead."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing but I guess it made sense why he never really brought up his past. I wondered if he ever got any sleep, having the awful memory stuck in his head.

Alex kneeled down in front of me giving me a sympathetic look before whispering."I'm really sorry for earlier, I didn't mean to get in that fight with you, it just frustrates me that you can't tell me something's that are hurting you. Like I said before this whole situation with you and your dad reminds me of how it was for me and my sister. I'm just...worried about you."

I felt my heart sink as his words sank in. He was only worried about me and here I was being self centered."You shouldn't say sorry to me, this whole time it's just been a nightmare that I had last night... a horrible nightmare that I can't get out of my head, it came back earlier today...that's why I blacked out in the hallway and why I was panicking earlier with the nurse."

Nai, D.C and Alex all gave each other knowing looks then Alex turned back to me. "The nurse left earlier telling us to take care of you meaning that we had to watch you sleep while we were dismissed from our last two classes for the day. While you were sleeping you kept yelling my name, did I do something to you?...Did I...hurt you?"

"No," I said quickly. Just the thought of Alex hurting me like my father did, made me sick, he wouldn't do that.

"No," I repeated, shacking my head."It wasn't you, it was my dad."

Alex's face hardened as I mentioned him he stood up as I explained to all of them my horrible nightmare of how I had been tide to a saw table inside of a dim lit barn where I could see Alex's body tide to a post having been slit by the throat sitting there dead as I couldn't do anything about it as my own body was cut in half. It was honestly the most horrific dream that felt as if I was in some kind of horror movie that I couldn't escape from. I even told them how that morning I woke up shacking all over and I couldn't stop until my mom had to comfort me. It was one of those dreams that you absolutely couldn't forget.

"God...that sounds horrible," said D.C frowning.

"It was, But I couldn't tell you Alex because I was trying to forget every last moment of it, acting as if it never happened just so I could get away from the terror of it all. You have no idea how scared I was." I felt myself shiver at every word I explained to them.

"Well the important thing it that you're fine now, and something like that won't happen, I promise," Alex said, looking me strait in the eyes. I felt like I could believe him and I did.

"We won't leave you to deal with something like this on your own." Nai assured. They all nodded to that. For once I felt like I could trust more then one person in my life. It had taken me this long to find loyal people just like myself that would treat me like I had always wanted to be treated. I was thankful...


	15. Getting Cought

**GothinBlack: Hey! I would like to thank all the people who have given this book of mine so many views I didn't expect it to get to 546 views so quickly and we're only on the chapter 15 that's a huge deal for me. So thank you all for reading my book and keeping up with the story so far it means a lot to me keep it up.**

 **Thanks for the encouragement. Enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Do you think you can forget it? Alex whispered in close to my ear as he helped me walk with one of my arms slung over his shoulder and both Nai and D.C helped carry my things. The drug in my system still wouldn't let me walk until a few more minutes passed.

I figured what he was talking about was my nightmare and I honestly didn't want to think about it, it would only end me up in another panic attack-which despite their words and how they had acted towards me I still didn't want it to happen in front of them, a small part of me was still embarrassed they had seen me that way.

I honestly don't know. I answered truthfully back to him. It was a nightmare I had never had before and not to mention it was complete torture for me. I don't think I could ever forget.

In the corner of my eye I saw him look down as we continued to walk towards his car- the only car in the student parking lot besides a black Corolla.

Alex unlocked the doors letting both Nai and D.C put my things in the back seat before helping me sit down in the passenger seat.

You good? He asked me as he unwrapped his strong arm from around my shoulder.

I nodded. Thanks.

He smiled a small one at me before going around to the driver side and sitting down before closing his door.

I turned towards Nai and D.C. I thanked them for what they did for me. It was strange how I had thought I wouldn't be saying these words to anyone especially to the people that go to the same school as me, everyone in my point of view seemed so fake and hypercritical towards one another but now my opinion had changed only slightly. My whole outlook was different thanks to Alex. I was surprised I had found people that were different from the rest.

No problem. Said D.C. I guess you could say...we're friends now. She shrugged her shoulders as a small smile lingered onto her black lips.

I smiled at her slowly. Yeah, guess we are.

Waving at me she made her way into the passenger seat of the black Corolla that had been sitting a few parking spaces from Alex's car just as I had closed my own passenger door Nai came up to the open window and leaned against it's frame before speaking threw it.

I told you I would keep your secret, but just in case you end up in a huge problem you can call me, I already gave you my number call me anytime and we'll get you out of the situation. I maybe can't stop this whole problem that's happening to you but I can at least try. He said in all seriousness. Word of advise...try not to think about the bad things.

I was speechless to his sentiment as he pulled away from the window frame and walked to his car getting in the drivers seat before waving at both of us and driving off.

I blinked in surprise. I hadn't suspected any advise like that, but it was nice to hear. I looked out the front window to see the sun was setting, I guess we had been in the school longer then noticed.

Alex sighed beside me before saying an apology.

I turned towards him half way. What are you saying sorry for?

He didn't look at me which was weird. Up until the point we had entered band class he had been acting this way. He clung to me then he pushed himself away from me and then he was angry at me and now he was feeling sympathetic for me. I didn't get it-although I already knew there were things I completely still didn't know about him yet.

I feel like this is my fault. He finally said turning to and looking me strait in the eyes. The whole you remembering the nightmare you had. Tell me. Something I said triggered you to remember it, right?

I recalled earlier scenes from what had happened and I shook my head. You didn't cause any thing...I just happened to remember at that moment, it's been haunting me all day I just needed something to distract me but I guess it came back anyway no matter how hard I tried to forget it.

He looked at me for a few seconds. If you say so. He said reluctantly dismissing the conversation as he started up the car with a twist of a key and soon I found myself staring out the window as trees and underbrush passed along with occasional houses of subdivisions.

It was then that I remembered his sudden attitude towards Nai earlier. He had admitted he was...jealous, which surprised me I hadn't seen Alex act that way before let alone say those kinds of intimidating words to me right before kissing me in class not caring who was to see it.

Why did you act like that in class today? I suddenly asked not meaning to.

Like what?

You were jealous.

His face grew red slowly and I notified this to be a blush. _He was blushing...why?_

Um yeah you can forget about me saying that to you. His voice sounded flustered only a little making sure he would hide it but it had come out anyway.

I know you're my boyfriend, I don't need you to remind me. I said to put him at ease.

Even though you were looking at Nai the same way you were looking at me on the first day I walked into English Lit. Alex lamented casually but there was a slight edge of jealousy in his words.

And you who had a crowd of beautiful girls surrounding you as you played the guitar. Yeah...I saw that too. I said gesturing as I pointed at him.

Are you saying that you were jealous towards me too? Alex asked stopping at a stop light to look at me in surprise.

Duh! Alex. I crossed my arms before closing my eyes. You're not the dullest nail in the box you know.

He furrowed his brows at me in confusion for what I had just said. Excuse me?

I sighed. It means your a very good looking guy compared to every one else. Take it as a complement.

Thank you. He said slowly the blush enhancing on his cheeks. But that's not the point, you were jealous towards me and you have no reason to be.

I do. I said opening my eyes to look at him. You're a lot of things that I like and other people will like you more because you're nice let alone good looking with talent.

I'm not nice. He admitted.

I frowned. Yeah you are.

Towards you, sure but when it comes to something that I like... I get really territorial over it. His face turned serious as he stared at me. Just by that look in his eyes made me shiver from the intimidation.

Subconsciously I asked in a low voice. What makes you tick...?

Very slowly he leaned into me and whispered in my ear so close that his warm breath fanned over my skin. Things being taken away from me...very important things. I felt my ear tingle as he pulled away from me with a slight smirk to his full lips before facing the road ahead just as the light turned green and then we were driving again.

I sat there frozen. It didn't take a genius to know that he was mentioning me when he had said that. My words had gotten caught in my throat but I soon found them as I sat back in my seat. Well...you don't need to worry about me and Nai. We're just friends plus we **just** met.

Friends can develop into something much more. He said not taking his eyes off the road.

Alex. I was just looking at him, I wasn't falling for him or anything. I defended.

He looked at me for a few seconds seeing how serious I was before turning back to the road. Alright.

You believe me? I asked him skeptically.

Yes. I do. But you better not be lying to me. He said warningly. Something about the way he said it made me shiver once again.

I'm not. Because you're the only one truthfully that can understand what I'm going threw.

He smiled. Glade that I am.

Alex was a strange person indeed, even threw that report we had done on each other for English Lit I still felt like I didn't know so much about him.

Here we are. He said putting his hands into his pocket after pressing a button on his car keys locking the doors to his car automatically. We were both standing in front of a building with a large poster of a guitar plastered to the glass window. It was a nice looking building with a simple design for a guitar store. The store itself was called the music house. I had heard of the place before, it not only sold guitars but drum sets, mics, and a bunch of other musical instruments and equipment.

I stared up at the structure with my mouth slightly agape from surprise. He had told me he worked at a guitar store but not this place that sold much more then just that. I had heard a lot of good things about this place and I was eager to see what was inside.

Alex grabbed my hand ushering me forward. Lets go!

He pulled open the glass door and as we both walked in I was immediately hit by the smell of wood and of slight cologne in the air, I looked around and saw a bunch of hanging guitars labeled as acoustic, electric, and bass hanging from strong medal hooks on the sealing and on the far black painted walls, the flooring stood out as it was panted a dark red against my black Converses and Alex's checkered black and white VANS.

Still with a hold on my hand he led me threw the store with counters of CD's, guitar picks of different designs, and volume basses along with black extension cords to plug it up with.

The store was huge inside as Alex led me threw booths and drum sets and the check out counters before leading me up the grey carpeted stairs to the upper floor that had a small wall that divided up the upper floor from the lower as I looked down at the store and the people that were mostly teens shopping around for their items.

This has got to be heaven. I said astounded looking over the ledge at the hanging guitars from the dark sealing.

I wish it was. Alex agreed with me letting go of my hand as he led me to a wall with five doors aligning it.

These are the music rooms that I was talking to you about. We can record and rehearse in these. He noted. Stepping inside first I looked around to be met with a medium sized room with a recording station with small black couch chairs standing out against the red walls that had posters of out dated rock stars and bands I was familiar with. All four of the chairs faced the small stage that led up with three stairs, I notice a big black radio was in one of the corners with a big shelf next to it panted black holding CD's inside. The flooring in the room had changed from grey carpet to a light brown wooden waxed floor. In the corner was a door that led to a mini bathroom. There was another door that led to the actual recording room where you sang and did audio on your voice.

I smiled. Must be nice having your own private place to practice in.

I wouldn't say that this is private considering I only get to use it when I'm not working. But when I have friends over I'm allowed to book this room for just us as long as we don't go to over board.

Overboard? I asked looking at him from the corner of my eye as I ran my finger tips up the black microphone pole before touching the rough grey circular piece of the mic itself tapping on it slightly, The sound of my fingers taping against it made the sound pound into my ears gently. Is this thing on?

Alex smiled and laughed at my curiosity before reaching both of his arms behind his head crossing them as he stretched backwards, cracking his back before sighing , throwing his arms back down to his sides. Overboard yeah. Such as throwing a party or destroying property that belongs to the store, Stuff like that. He closed the door behind him as he walked over to the recording station.

I watched him as he walked over to a circular light switch turning it a bit with his fingers made the lights dim down and made the room appear darker then it had been from it's brightness before.

I looked up at the small sealing lights as they did this, looking over to Alex as he walked up the steps to the stage. I lifted an eyebrow at his actions.

It's better this way. He said to me as he gripped onto the microphone pole before taking off the mic from it's hold and walked over to me. He held it up to my face. Try something.

I blinked in confusion. Sing?

He nodded, a small smile finding it's way to his lips.

I shook my head. No, I can't sing. I said with a small chuckle.

Oh come on, I bet you can if you tried. He assured me.

I **have** tried, and it **didn't** work out to well. I smiled and shrugged. I guess my talent is just being an expert at playing guitar.

He rolled his eyes still with the smile on his lips before pulling away from me and attaching the mic back into it's hold on the pole. He then looked in my direction. His eyes lingered on me for a long moment before he walked up to me slowly.

I frowned in confusion. What?

Hold on a sec. He whispered staring at me strangely before reaching a hand up to my face and placing it softly on my cheek. _What is he doing?_

He continued to look at me.

Alex-

Shh. He whispered. I need to do something...

My breath hitched as I felt him caress my forehead and cheek with his index finger and thumb before moving the black hairs away from my eye revealing my whole face. A smile twitched at his lips but he kept his mouth in a thin line.

That's better. He whispered before leaning into me slowly and connected both of our lips in to a slow needy kiss. I closed my eyes feeling his soft full ones against my own as his lethargic tongue licked at my bottom lip demanding entrance, I opened my mouth slowly letting his tongue intertwine with my own both fighting in a gentle way for the others touch. I felt my face heat up as a low moan emitted from Alex's throat, his hand was still against my face but it gradually began to lower. Cascading down my neck making goose bumps crawl up my skin at his cold touch, his hand stopped as it reached my lean chest and that was when I felt him push me. My back hit the wall gently as we broke away from the heated kiss before he advanced towards me again and connected our lips together once more -pushing them together roughly, but I didn't mind the harsh push our lips gave each other...the next thing I knew both of our breathing was enhanced to an existent where it sounded like we were running out of air as we kept kissing heatedly and intensely.

I couldn't deny the fact that Alex was very intimidating to me and made me feel overly excited when he kissed me this way. I felt his hand go up into my shirt touching my soft stomach before going up to my chest where I felt his finger tips glid across one of my nipples making a tingly sensation cross over that area making me moan suddenly. Before I knew it my boyfriend had lifted up my shirt completely and took his mouth away from my own only to place his tongue on one of my nipples.

I blushed even more and gasped at the sudden feeling over coming me. Reaching up a hand I closed my eyes tightly leaning my head back against the wall as I raked a my fingers threw my soft hair at the pleasurable feeling coming across me. My breathing changed into gasps and sudden moans as Alex continued this. Never had I ever experienced something that felt so good.

I was a virgin that never did sexual acts on my own such as pleasuring myself. I was completely new to this sensation and strangely enough I was craving for more of it as my heart beat quickened in my chest from the excitement. But then I remembered...we were in a public place not to mention Alex's job!

I reluctantly had to stop what we were doing before it got to far.

Ale- I was cut off by another moan emitting from my throat. I shivered as Alex bit down gently on my other nipple before his tongue trailed down my stomach towards my belly button and swirling inside of it. I twitch as the sensation tickled almost making me laugh but I remembered the seriousness of the situation.

We can't. I painted out my face a hot mess as I found myself positioning both of my hands on top of his head urging him to go lower as he continued to lick further down. I couldn't help myself. What was wrong with me?!, I would never act like this. I had never acted like this.

I bit my bottom lip throwing my head back clenching my eyes shut as Alex began to unzip my pants.

Both of us couldn't stop. It was like we were desperate for the urge to-

There was a creaking sound as the door to the room opened and we both froze. A group of guys came into the room laughing before turning to us and stopped in there steps staring at us with wide eyes as we did the same to them.

My shirt fell back over my stomach as Alex let go of it. I was frozen as the minutes ticked by both of us standing and staring at each other not knowing what to say but I felt Alex grab my hand and we both quickly walked out of the room past the group of guys that had almost witnessed us have sex.

I closed the passenger door to Alex car as we both quickly got inside and he began driving not bothering to stop at the stop sign as he drove down the road to take me home.

I leaned forward, my elbows resting atop my knees as I brushed my fingers threw my hair then brought them both back down to my face. Oh my God.

I'm sorry. Alex spoke next to me. His face was just as red as mine staring strait ahead at the road. I couldn't help myself, you were so...willing.

I was erotic! I snapped looking up at him. What has gotten into me!

Don't worry about it, okay.

Don't worry about it !? I exclaimed. I could have gotten you fired-if I haven't already!

Gareki! Alex said getting my attention. Don't worry about it, like I said. I can handle it. Those guys didn't see much any way.

Oh yeah! only the fact that my shirt was held up revealing my chest while you were unzipping my pants. I'm sure they didn't see anything. I said sarcastically.

Why are you over reacting? Alex asked me calmly.

And why aren't you?

Because they might not have seen...they might not...uh?

Exactly.

Alex sighed. We should just keep calm.

I can't do that since...I trailed off not wanting to admit anything.

Alex turned to me. What?

I shook my head. Nothing.

He frowned at me as he came to a stop light. You haven't done anything sexual have you? He asked me cautiously.

I turned to him in surprise was it really that obvious?

He nodded. Every touch I gave you, you acted as if it was the first time you had been touched in that way. Tell me, was this really your first time?

Yeah...yeah it was. I admitted.

Sorry Gareki. He said to me feeling guilty for making my first time a bad experience.

It...felt, good. I said hesitantly trying to find a word to describe it. I wouldn't take anything that happened between us in that room away, because... I enjoyed it. That was the first time I ever felt something like that before, and I liked it. I sighed, maybe I did over react. I turned to Alex with an apologetic smile. Sorry for over reacting.

Alex smiled back at me. I'm glad you felt that way but hopefully losing my job was worth it.

You better not lose your job. I said in all seriousness. We both stared at each other for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter.

This day was definitely the strangest but it was only going to get worse once I stepped foot into my house. If only I had known.


	16. I'm Alive Part 1

I could barely think about anything else as what had happened between both me and Alex clouded my mind. There I go again, he was stuck in my mind once more.

I almost didn't register what he had said to me as he parked his car in front of my house. I blinked a couple of times from staring out the window and turned to him.

You didn't hear me? He asked softly, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head.

Your mind is clouded about what we did earlier isn't it?

Yeah. I answered leaning my chin on the back of my hand as I sat my el bow on the arm rest of the passenger door. I hope you don't lose your job because of what we did.

He rolled his eyes before looking back at me. Gareki, you don't need to worry. I can handle it. He smiled. But thanks for worrying.

I didn't respond as I looked out the window past his head to look at my house. I found myself not wanting to leave his car again. The sky above us had darkened only to appear the sun shining half way over the horizon as it was setting into darkness of night time. We had been out a lot longer then I had suspected. I hoped my dad wasn't home. Earlier thoughts of what Alex had told me yesterday night came into my mind.

I hadn't told my dad the lie about me having a tutor and knowing him he still labeled me as being grounded from my earlier mistake of running away the other night, I knew my ass was going to get kicked once I stepped foot into the house. Maybe he wouldn't be home but eventually he would have to hit me for staying out this late.

Alex saw my distraught face knowing that something was bothering me.

What's wrong? He asked turning off the engine of the car making the atmosphere around us quiet.

I didn't tell him. I admitted running a hand threw my hair. It pained me to say it because I didn't want him to worry about me even though I was worried for my life each day I spent with this man I called my dad.

Alex let go of the steering will only to trail his hand over my own and held it tightly making my eyes avert back up to his.

You don't have to stay here. I know about your mom but do you have to go threw all this torture just to protect her- there's got to be another way.

I gave him a some what pained look I hadn't meant to show, again I didn't want him to feel so devoted to worrying about me just because of something I had decided on.

I **have** to stay. I said swallowing hard, feeling an unmistakable lump in my throat as unexpected tears flooded my eyes. Why was I crying? Was it the fact that my night mare would come true and I would possible die tonight, My dad would kill me for such a pathetic reason just because I didn't come home right away. I could still remember the tight grip that man had around my neck trying to strangle me. I didn't want that to happen again but what other choice did I have, I couldn't just leave my mom here to die by his hands?

I was trapped between wanting to leave but clearly being held back wanting to protect some one I cared about. What was I going to do to make my mom believe my dad was a terrible person? I needed proof. Maybe that was the only way she'd believe me- hopefully.

Alex stared at me reluctantly accepting my request. Call me tonight okay- anytime. I need to know you'll be okay once I leave you here.

I nodded grabbing my things before I grabbed a hold of the passenger door handle but stopped as Alex said my name.

Are you free for the weekend?

I turned around to look at him and responded unsurely. I don't know...but I'll let you know, later. I got out of the car, stepping foot on the concrete as I shut the door behind me, and I didn't dare turn around to look at Alex even as I made my way up my drive way each step becoming more painful to take as the tears built themselves up in my eyes- threatening to fall any minute.

I only made it half way up my drive way before I heard the slight thumping of shoes running up the pavement, I turned around reflexively dropping my guitar case at which held my instrument inside before feeling Alex's strong arms around my body tightly and I hugged him back just as hard, gripping at his shirt as I shut my eyes tightly letting the tears fall down my pale cheeks.

Sorry...I just had to. Alex said in my ear his voice wavering.

I buried my face in his shoulder feeling my tears soak his shirt. I-it's okay. I whimpered out still gripping his shirt.

promise me something okay. He said to me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

Don't die on me. Please...

I nodded agreeing to something I wasn't entirely sure about. I didn't know if I could promise him something like that. But I did any way knowing I would try my hardest.

He pulled away from me only to linger his hands on either side of my face, making me look at him in the eyes before kissing me for just a moment before pulling away.

Call me. He whispered, reminding me.

A few minutes later I watched him look back at me from his car window as he drove down the street and soon out of my view. I felt hollow and somber. both feelings swirled inside me as I stepped foot into my house only to smell the sent of alcohol hit my nose as soon as I closed the front door.

I stood in place un moving for a few minutes before my curiosity got the better of me and I walked threw the entrance way and into the kitchen to see my dad sitting at the dinner table with a large bottle of liquor.

I kept my beating heart at bay from slamming at my chest as it tried to pick up speed inside me from the anxiety building. I bit my lip as I took a turning step towards the stairs slowly as to not get his attention, but apparently he noticed me any way since he called my name.

I stopped abruptly only one foot landed on the stairs as I was going to climb them. I turned around slowly to look at the man with similar features as my own with slightly messed up black hair from stressed fingers going threw the roots of it, is what I guessed. He looked like he had a bad day at work and almost immediately the words Alex had told me last night came into my head.

Was it really stress from work, was that really why he was acting this way? But then why threaten me or mom?

My eyes looked at his own as he stared at me expressionless as his eyes kept boring into mine. I looked away not being able to hold the indignant look he was giving me. He was mad.

Sit. He ordered in a strait forward tone.

I felt stupid for bringing my guitar into view of him but I hadn't suspected him to be in the kitchen.

I sat my back pack down and the guitar case as I slowly pulled out a chair across the table about to sit down but he said no- stopping my movements quickly.

He pointed to the chair next to him, and my heart wasn't able to keep at bay any longer as it sped up and slammed against my chest, fear grew into me.

I reluctantly pulled out the chair next to him and sat down staring him strait in the eyes. I wasn't able to look away this time. I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling scared out of my mind at that moment.

Where's mom? I asked quietly.

Not here. He said simply still with his eyes on mine. Got caught in some late work, won't be back until later which gives us...he pointed a finger at my chest before continuing. Plenty of time to talk.

He chewed something in his mouth as his jaw flexed with each movement. Who was that? He asked cocking his head slightly before taking a swig of his alcohol.

I blinked. W-who?

Don't play games with me! He slammed his fist on the table making me jump.

I looked down. What did he mean? Was he talking about... Alex, we had hugged on the driveway giving a view to everyone that could see us threw there windows my dad must have seen us, did that mean he saw us kiss to? This was bad.

Not only that. But where were you and who gave you that guitar? He gave me an intense look of anger as he kept his eyes on mine.

I couldn't speak as I clenched the edge of my seat. What could I say, I didn't want him to know about Alex it would all end badly if he knew. Mainly because my night mare showed Alex being killed by this man, I felt like that would happen. So I didn't speak.

My dad picked up the alcohol bottle turning it in small circles as it's contents swirled around in side in a slow motion. Is he...your friend?

...

How long have you to known each other?

...

Well, he must be pretty special to you since you two were hugging in my drive way, crying it up from what I could see. I wonder why you were crying?

I turned away from him but felt his thumb and index finger turn my head back around harshly from my chin. My eyes looked at him again, he was still holding the wine bottle.

Did you tell him anything...I warned you Gareki and you were doing so good with keeping this secret, maybe...I'll have to kill him to.

NO! I shouted pulling myself away from him. No you won't, I won't let you. My voice was deep and dangerous as I said this as if the fear had washed away from me just for a few seconds but it came back as soon as I felt the hard bang of the wine bottle slam against my head making me fall hard on the floor as shards of the bottle landed on the ground beside me and on my skin.

I hadn't gone unconscious, I could still feel and see the room around me even the dark work shoes that stepped in front of my vision as I lay there frozen.

You have some nerve boy! He spat at me before grabbing my head and shoving me to the side so I rolled onto my back looking up at him. You won't hurt him. I muttered.

That made him angrier. What did I tell you punk!? I run the shots and now you're going to die!

My eyes widened as he grabbed me by my hair and dragged me over the floor of glass.

No! NO! Please! I shouted gripping onto his wrist and forcing him to let go of me. I scooted far away from him before getting to my feet. In the corner of my eye stood the phone in it's charger and I quickly went over to it and grabbed it only to have my dads weight slam against me throwing me aside with the phone still in my hand.

He snapped his head towards me and growled loudly. Who do you think you can call! The police aren't coming here! Remember!

I did remember. The bastard was apart of the police force as there boss so I definitely couldn't call them, but I wasn't planning to.

I glared at him and typed in numbers only to get yanked back by my hair and I slammed to the floor dropping the phone a few inches away from myself. My dad went to pick it up but I was desperate to get out of the house with the only person that could help me.

No! I yelled kicking him.

He groaned angrily and punched me in my face making my head fly to the side as he delivered another hit to my cheek.

I shut my eyes tightly as the pain over came my face. Turning back to him slowly I saw him pick up the phone in which he deleted the numbers I had typed in.

You fucker. He said to me before coming towards me and kicked me in my gut hard making me cringe up into a ball of pain as I coughed harshly. He grabbed me by my neck and shoved me to the floor where I hit my head on the hard wood yelling out as the pain went threw me.

He repeatedly kicked me in my stomach and I yelled for him to stop but he kept going ignoring every plea I had to yell threw my bloody lips. He stopped finally and took one step over me taking something off the counter as the medal edge of it scratched against it's surface I immediately knew it had to be something sharp.

I screamed as he trailed the sharp tip of it against my stomach before cutting into me in the lower side close to my hip bone.

I threw my head back yelling as I fought against him. My hands were a flustered mess that were covered in blood from the glass on the floor and me trying to crawl away from him. I clenched his face with them covering his eyes and trying to stick my fingers threw his sockets to get him to stop but he slapped them away and kept up his insertion.

I felt the darkness coming towards me but I had to fight to keep it away but even I knew I was losing a lot of blood as I felt the warmness of it pooling my side.

I cried out as I felt his other hand come towards me dropping the phone besides my head a couple inches away. His fingers were trailing towards my neck but once they passed over my lips I immediately brought up my own hand and gripped onto his wrist and stuck two of his fingers in my mouth and bit down hard until I tasted the coppery blood touch my tongue and he yelled at me slapping my face hard before pulling away quickly.

He turned away grabbing his hand and still yelled in pain as he went towards the sink to rinse it off.

I spat out the disgusting red substance. I cried as I felt the knife was still in me. I took in a breath keeping myself calm as I looked towards the phone and shakily grabbed a hold of it with my bloody finger tips lodged with glass and dialed the numbers as quickly as I could,

I messed up a number and had to start over. My cries grew as the pain flooded over me. I heard my dad's footsteps coming over to me just as I had finished typing in the number.

I then quickly pulled the phone to me and curled up into a ball as he saw what I had done.

You just don't learn! He yelled fighting my back side as he tried to get the phone back. But I held it tightly desperate not to let it go.

The phone rang in my ears 3 times and I begged for him to pick up and soon I heard his voice.

Gareki? Came Alex's concerned voice.

Y-you have to help me! I cried feeling my dad grab me by my head and drag me. PLEASE! my dad kicked me in the gut causing me to heave an amount of blood from my mouth.

Gareki! WHAT IS HE DOING TO YOU! Alex's voice came out in a panic of anger on the other end.

I didn't answer as my dad covered my mouth with his hand but I managed to bite that one to making him flinch away from me again. I took the chance to run away from him only getting a step away before I fell down onto the ground once more.

My stomach felt like fire from the knife and I screamed from the pain that shot threw me. You have to help me! I repeated into the phone crying like hell, I almost thought he hadn't understood me since my voice came out in jumbled up whines.

I'm coming with the police and you **can't** say no, get as far away from you dad as you can, I'm on my way! He spoke I heard his parents voices in the background with their concerned voices asking what was wrong before he hung up.

I didn't care any more, I didn't care that the police would know now someone needed to help me and my mom and I needed to get away from this man. I pulled myself weakly a couple inches but stopped as I felt his grip on my ankles he then pulled me back to him as I continued to pull at the ground trying to get away.

NOOO! I screamed as he grabbed further up my legs. I struggled and kicked at him fighting for my life as he got on top of me and slapped me over and over again.

Pathetic piece of shit! He yelled into my face.

I breathed harshly as I stared up at him. Well at least I'm not a man whore! and with that I spat in his face blood covering one of his cheeks before he glared at me angrily and delivered another slap to my face.

Once again the darkness came towards me but this time I couldn't push it away as I began to black out and this time... I let it happen.

There was yelling and a loud thumping of foot steps as I heard the door bang open.

Put your hands up where I can see them NOW!

There was banging of foot steps that ran threw the house. I could feel the vibrations of them all as I laid on the cold wooden floor in the entrance way. Hard steps stepped over me and went after my dad. I guessed that he was running away threw the garage but the policemen went after him in hot pursuit.

Gareki? A gentle hand touched my face turning it slowly to face him. I squinted my eyes open feeling the numbing pain take place again. I faced Alex who looked down at me painfully.

His eyes were red from crying. I knew that he was hurt from all the times he wanted to help me but I always said no but only because I was trying to protect my mom but I clearly couldn't do it any more. Things had gone to far and he was hurt that he wasn't here to help me in time.

I'm not dead...My voice came out raspy and quiet. It wasn't a question but a statement.

He shook his head eye brows furrowing together as he stared down at me daring to cry again. You're okay, I'm glad.

I nodded slowly as I closed my eyes, I blacked out again.

GAREKI! Some one yelled my name and I noticed I was moving, my back was laying against a cushioned bed as paramedics with masks on the lower parts of their faces.

I looked up to see my mothers face in panic as she stared down at me. She was walking speedily along the bed I was willed on to the surgery room. I had gotten that info from one of the signs that passed us saying surgery room with an arrow pointing further down the hall. I looked around at the bright white lights.

my vision was blurred as everything passed quickly.

My mom kept speaking to me as my eyes kept closing with every passing second I tried to keep them open.

Stay with me baby. Mama's here! Okay!

I couldn't speak thanks to the oxygen mask attached to my nose and mouth and plus I couldn't seem to find my voice at the moment as my brain was foggy.

Miss we have to ask you to stay in the guest rooms, we'll report any further notice to you in a few moments! Spoke a serious nurse.

My mothers eyes filled with tears as she nodded to the nurse pulling the gurney along with the two other paramedics. She leaned down and kissed me on my forehead before I heard the clicking of her high heels distancing away from me reluctantly. Things weren't clear but I figured they would be once I closed my eyes to wake up again.

0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+

 _Beep...beep...beep_.

The world around me came into focus as I opened my eyes for the third time only to be met by a big window in a hospital room. I blinked a couple of times dismissing the blurriness from my pupils.

My breathing was less labored then it had been before since the knife was still stuck in the side of my stomach. But now I found that it was gone as I felt bandages wrapped tightly around my mid section. I felt fine, no pain, just a numb feeling by my side. I looked down at myself.

I had a white blanket around me as my arms were on each side of me, one of my limbs in particularly had a thin clear wire with a piece of tape tide to it's end on my wrist as it led to a plastic bag hanging from a pole hook with clear fluids dripping every three seconds.

I turned back to looking forward. Was I really alive? Then I remembered, my dad had been arrested, he was now in jail so I thought- but he must have been, I'm sure the sight of a teenage boy laying on the floor near death with a pool of blood by his side was enough to but that man behind bars.

I sighed, listening to the annoying beep of the heart monitor keeping radars on my pulse. But it was better to here it beeping then it continuing with a single endless one, notifying that my heart had stopped. I'd rather not think about that happening.

I laid back against the pillow in silence but it was until I heard the clamping of footsteps coming towards the hospital door of my bedroom and in walked a nurse in her mid 30's, was my guess.

She smiled at me. You're awake, how are you feeling?

...Fine. My voice was quiet threw my dry lips.

She nodded and handed me a glass of water in which I drank thankfully, my throat was dryer then expected. She took it from me once I was done and set it aside.

You should be out of here by tomorrow morning. She instructed me.

What's today?

It's still Friday but almost to midnight. She told me. You slept a lot longer then we expected but it only means you'll heal up quickly but I need you to take it easy on your side and keep it clean and wrapped for a few days- just until the scar is in place.

I blinked at her and raised my eyebrows. Scar?

It's a small one. She held out her index finger. It's only this long.

That was long enough too. I didn't want another scar to deal with. Hell I already had scratch marks on my upper arm from that wolf attack that luckily I could hide with a long sleeve and I still had the small scar on my wrist from cutting myself a few nights prier.

This would definitely be the last one- I hoped.

The nurse smiled at me still before informing me that I had guest and would I like to bring them in.

I nodded and soon the nurse opened the door and said something to the people waiting before stepping aside and letting them in. Nai, D.C, Alex, and my mother came into the room.

Gareki! My mother exclaimed running over to me and hugging me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.

Thank goodness you're okay.


	17. I'm Alive Part 2

My mother pulled away from me and ran her hand along side my hair with a grateful smile gracing her lips as she stared down at me. But then it disappeared as her eyes teared up, she continued to look at me. Gareki...I had no idea- why didn't you tell me?!

My eyebrows furrowed knowing that she knew what I had been going threw all week thanks to some one telling her this. Who told you?

My mother turned to Alex. He did. And the police shared some info to. She turned back to me. I wish you had told me what he was doing to you a lot sooner! Why did you keep this from me?

I thought you wouldn't believe me. I muttered looking up at the sealing. You were always loyal to him, a lot more then most.

I averted my eyes back to hers.

She shook her head. I would have definitely left that man sooner for what he's done to you. I'm sorry I was never there to help you.

It's not all your fault. I admitted. I should have showed you what he had done to me but there was always something holding me back from doing that.

What? She asked.

That he wanted to kill me and then you If I told anyone he was abusing me. I wanted to protect you so I...delt with the pain and tried to hide it but I wasn't able to for long since Alex had seen something I had been hideing.

Alex smiled at me slightly as I said this.

My mother looked concerned. I raising my wrist and showed her the remains of the blade that I had used to graze my skin a few nights after I had seen my dad in the car with another women having sex.

You did this? She asked surprised.

He was cheating on you with other women at night clubs which explains why he never came back that night you asked me where he was. I explained further.

Is this how it all started then? She asked me now piecing together everything.

I nodded.

Why? She asked me her voice was in a shocked whisper.

I looked away from her to look as Alex as I said my next choice of words. I couldn't help it, once I saw him with that women something in me snapped. I was disgusted and I felt...uncomfortable and that pushed me to cut myself and doing that I distanced myself from people ever since my first year of high school.

When did you see your father have sex with that women? She asked me.

For the very first time it was a while ago, in the summer of my 8th grade year in middle school. This whole time my dad up until now had been having sex with other women besides you.

Alex's eyes widened as I continued to look at him and say what I had to say.

My mother looked pained but then her face turned to it's regular expression. A small smile was on her lips. If I knew he was such a terrible man I would have left him sooner, I can't entirely act like this doesn't bother me but I'll get over it the best I can. she smiled bigger at me before leaning forward and kissing me on my forehead again.

I'll be back okay. She said to me before turning and leaving. Have fun with your friends. She closed the door behind her and was gone.

I watched after her. No doubt she went off to cry in private. Do you think she'll be okay?

Alex walked over to me and pulled out a chair from a near mini table and sat down in it. She's heard a lot about you today but I'm sure she'll be fine. Possible.

I stared at him for a moment and he stared back at me

Both Nai and D.C found chairs themselves and sat down beside the bed I was in.

How are you? she asked.

I turned to her breaking both me and Alex's eye contact . I'm fine now, but I wish I could get out of this bed.

They all cracked a smile.

You're staying there until you're better. Alex said with a laugh in his voice.

I smiled and turned my head to face him again. Thanks for what you did, I'm not mad at you.

His smile disappeared slowly as he looked at me. I was scared...when you told me I needed to help you in the background I heard him hitting you hard with each movement that scared me more then anything. I'm glad you called me when you did because Gareki...you could have died. He looked back up at me.

I nodded slowly my own smile settling into a thin line. I know.

I'm glad Alex called us to. Nai said. I don't want another one of my friends to...He trailed off. We all turned to him concerned. He shook his head his one eye that wasn't hidden behind his long albino hair squinting as his one eyebrow furrowed. Nothing, Never mind.

All of us stared at him for a few seconds longer but didn't pressure him to tell us any further.

I'm glad that you're all here. I said sitting up in bed and changing the subject.

Does it hurt anywhere? Alex said to me unsure If I should be moving.

No and it's a good thing to, the nurse said I would be able to leave in the morning.

That's great. Nai said with a smile forgetting about his earlier interjection.

How many people are here? I asked. I knew there wouldn't be all that many since I didn't know that many and most of my family lived back in Japan.

Well there's me and Nai's parents and Alex's parents here in the waiting room. D.C stated.

Do they know? I asked her.

She nodded. We had to tell them what was going on when we got here.

That's fine. I said laying back down on my pillow. Hope it's fine with you guys but I'm going to close my eyes for a sec.

It's cool. Nai said I heard him getting out of his seat. Get some rest okay we'll be back later.

I nodded still with my eyes closed. I heard the tapping of their feet as they walked over to the door and exited the room. I waited in the silence for a moment as I heard the slight rhythm of breathing and it wasn't mine.

Alex...I know you're there.

I heard him blow out a laugh as I opened my eyes to see him still sitting beside me.

I smiled. Don't try to fool me. What time is it?

Reaching in his jacket he pulled out his phone. 12:44 Am it's already Saturday morning.

I sighed and closed my eyes. This week has been something.

More like a rollercoaster. I get the saying now. He stated.

What saying?

That just one week your life can change forever and your life has definitely changed. You met me, you have a boyfriend- once again me and your dad is behind bars and you have new friends, you have a brand new start now, you should be happy. He said resting his chin in his hand.

I thought about it as I looked at the sealing. I am. I said seriously.

He smile down at me.

Good.

* * *

1 week later

I laughed with my mouth closed as the French frie held between my lips. Before Alex leaned over quickly and bit half of it leaving the rest for me which was only a tiny bit. I ate the last of it.

You know that wasn't fair!

Whatever! He said smirking acting as if he didn't just steal my food. He strummed at his guitar as we sat on top of his car looking out at the light brown rocky fields. The sun shown high above us as we enjoyed our weekend, today being Sunday.

I leaned back on my hands as I listened to him strum at his acoustic guitar. Him slowly tapping his boots to the song he was humming. He was good at that two but I supposed it made since, he was a great singer after all.

I tapped my own feet at the beat he was making.

Okay. He paused his humming and taping all together as he turned to me. Lets see if you can guess what songs I'm singing.

Why? I questioned looking at him from the corner of my eye.

He rolled his eyes, the sun it self shining against them made them brighten up as he trained them back onto me. Why was he so stunning to look at?

You know...something to just pass the time.

Another one of your games? I asked him.

Of course but it's also to see how musically know ledged you are.

We're not in band class. Not yet anyway. I protested.

I know, but we can still learn and plus this is just for fun **not** for a grade.

I looked at him for a few seconds before doing a gesture with my hand. Go for it.

Alright. But this isn't going to be rock music like you're familiar with. If you guess correctly three times you win but if you don't then you lose. He smirked the sun glinted against his lip ring from the corner of his bottom lip.

I shrugged as a smiled marred my lips. Okay.

Alright. Alex started strumming a tune I hadn't heard before. I focused on the words he began to say seeing if I could figure out what song he was singing.

Alex closed his eyes as he started to sing

You gotta help me, I'm losing my mind  
Keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind  
Thought we were going strong  
I thought we were holding on  
Aren't we?

No they don't teach you this in school  
Now my heart's breaking and I don't know what to do  
Thought we were going strong  
Thought we were holding on  
Aren't we?

 **History**? I said slowly not sure if that was the song.

He stopped singing and strumming as he smiled. You guessed correctly. Nice.

I shrugged. Wasn't hard.

I didn't know you listened to **One direction**. He said to me.

I just heard it on the radio. I lamented honestly. I don't listen to there music that often.

He smiled at me slowly before looking down at his guitar and started strumming a different tune that yet again I didn't know before he started singing slowly and high pitched. I honestly didn't know his deep voice could go that high, I got goose bumps just listening to him.

Climb on board!  
We'll go slow and high tempo  
Light and dark!  
Hold me hard and mellow

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure  
Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us  
Bodies together  
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always  
I'd love to wake up next to you  
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always  
I'd love to wake up next to you

So we'll piss off the neighbours!  
In the place that feels the tears  
The place to lose your fears  
Yeah, reckless behavior!  
A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw  
Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day  
Fucking in, fighting on  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone

Pillow talk!  
My enemy, my ally  
Prisoners!  
Then we're free, it's a thriller...

He stopped and turned to me. What do you think?

That was good. I said astounded at his vocals.

He laughed. No I meant what song is it?

Uhh? I thought about it for a moment I know it's by... **Zayn Malik** but...I can't think of the name.

In other words you don't know? He stated.

I sighed and laid back against the window. No, I give in.

 **Pillow Talk**. He stated simply.

You see I never would have guessed that. I said honestly.

Even though I said it in the lyrics? He asked.

Even though you said it in the lyrics. I repeated in a matter a fact tone. I lose.

Yes you do but nice try. At least you knew the artist. Alex said just as his phone rung. Taking it out he looked at the caller ID. He frowned, sorry I gotta take this. Tapping the answer button he put the phone up to his ear.

I stay resting my back on the car window with both my arms folded behind my head as the sky became clouded blocking away the sun as the wind picked up and blew a cold air past us as I listened to him speak.

Hello?

...?

This is him.

...

Seriously?

...

Well that's great, thank you for taking me back!

...

Yes of course, it won't happen again. I promise. Thank you. Alex tapped the off button for the call and turned to me with a grin. He was so cute when he smiled. Subconsciously I felt my own lips pull into a smile from his own.

What? I asked.

That was my boss. He let me get my job back!

Oh yeah I must have forgotten to say this but Alex had lost his job after the whole incident with us almost having sex in one of his music rehearsal rooms, he was banned from coming back until further notice from his boss and it had taken his boss a whole week just to forgive and allow Alex back.

I'm happy for you. I said.

Thanks. He doesn't want us to do something like ...what we did in his work place again so we have to do it in private or else the next time he hears about it I **will** lose my job.

I nodded as he put his phone and guitar away and stared up at the sky.

Want to go? He asked me.

Where? I asked back I didn't want to go home not that it was bad or anything but my mom was out with some friends of hers to get away from what had happened to me last week when she had been gone, and so there was nothing for me to do on the weekends except hang out with Alex or Nai and D.C.

Alex picked up on my discomfort and said. We could go to my place and just...he shrugged. Hang out, watch a movie play a few games or play our guitars. How does that sound?

I agree with that idea. I said quickly, hopping off the car and opening the passenger door before sitting in the seat awaiting me. Alex followed suit and before I knew it we were on the high way listening to loud music and shacking our heads to the loud beat of the drums.


	18. The Want

Alex made sure to lock his car doors once we stepped foot into his house. It was empty and quiet.

In the corner of my eye I could see Alex frown. I had no idea they wouldn't be home. He mentioned his parents.

I looked around his comfortable home just now noticing it had been a whole week since I had been inside it before I asked. Did they have plans?

He shrugged before walking threw the family room then into the kitchen. My guess is that their out with friends or on errands, or something. He answered nonchalantly from a distance as he walked threw the kitchen and I stay standing at the front door looking around trying to get a permanent picture of his house in my mind.

Did you get lost?! He asked me loudly sounding even more farther away as he opened the door to the garage, was my guess since his voice sounded echoed.

No...Just looking around! I began to walk forward soon coming to a tan Victorian counter where a bunch of pictures of Alex's family lay sitting in picture frames and photos.

I felt a small smile pull at the sides of my lips as I looked at a specific one with Alex younger possible at the age of 12. He was grinning while holding a female hand, her body was cut off as the picture only wanted Alex to be in it.

I looked towards another and it was a picture of Alex's parents Dirrah and Derrick the two I had met when Alex had helped me on the night I ran away from home. They both were on some kind of sky scrapper and behind them stood a bright city at night time.

Personally I liked the picture...they looked so happy to be with each other unlike my own parents. But as I realized this it soon brought the memories back I sighed pushing the horrible memories out of my head for just a moment.

I frowned as my eyes came across a picture with Alex, his mother, his father, and there was a little girl around the age of 10. She was slightly short but my guess would be 5,3 in height range, her eyes were the same steal grey with white specks just as Alex's were, her hair was mid back and the color of raven as her skin stood pale.

I smiled at the picture as I continued to examine it but slowly my smile disappeared.

I didn't know why but I couldn't take my eyes off of her, this had to be Alex's sister, who had died. I blinked a couple times as I began to witness something I hadn't suspected. In flashes in my mind I saw how she had died. The cries that came from her throat at she was beaten right in front of the eyes of her brother. One of her small hands clenched at the graveled ground, both her fingers and nails being covered with dust and dirt as she clutched at the ground tightly for an escape but clearly she couldn't get away. She screamed louder with each thud of the medal pole slamming against her body before she became still and she herself went quiet. But even so the man with the shadowed face still beat her with the pole in his tight grip.

I felt as if the air had washed out of me. I couldn't look away from the picture and the scenes that carried themselves away in my head over and over as if on replay.

My own eyes widened as the bloody murder played in quick unfocused images. What was happening? The torture this girl was going threw reminded me so much of my own torture when my dad had beaten me. Just like Alex had told me , I tried to forget how he had done those horrible things to me and those past memories of that same pain this girl was feeling but I knew I couldn't escape them not so easily and definitely not so quickly. It had only been a week since that had happened and I still couldn't escape it.

There was a hand on my shoulder holding it firmly. It scared me and immediately I inhaled sharply and I quickly pulled myself away from the picture bumping into the wall behind me.

My eyes looked towards Alex as he stood looking at me surprised. Gareki? He muttered but I couldn't focus as my unwanted memories came back into my head just like that nightmare.

What was happening to me?

I shut my eyes tightly as I sunk back against the wall reaching a shacky hand up to my face and held it tightly.

I heard Alex's faded voice calling me over and over again. I heard the screams of terror in my ears as my nightmare joined the haunting party of my mind of terrible memories. The crying, yelling, the cutting sounds of the saw, menacing laughter, a young girl screaming, all of it filled both my ears and mind making me wither and soon I fell out. Breaking free from it all as soon as I closed my eyes.

* * *

 **No matter how hard you try to forget it'll never happen. The scars and pain will always remain.**

There was a cold draft on my face as I felt the splash of cold water against my skin making me snap my eyes open and sit up without warning.

NO!

I sat up breathing hard as the cold air hit against my sweat covered face.

I had imagined the cold draft of water splashing onto my face by the cold sweat I was now experiencing.

My eyes looked around the now dark room. Had I been asleep for that long- or should I say passed out. I wasn't sure. I couldn't remember anything up until the point I closed my eyes and now I was suddenly in...Alex's bed?

My eyes fell onto the familiar outlines of his band posters hanging on the walls.

I rubbed my head. That was right, I was in Alex's house...how did that happen? I was so confused at that moment that I couldn't think strait.

I heard the door to the room open and the lights flicker on and in walked Alex holding a glass of water as he sat it down on his desk top he looked over to me now noticing I was awake.

Good, you woke up. He said. You screamed.

I looked at him confused. What happened?

He hesitated before speaking. You passed out.

I frowned. Why?

Alex shrugged before handing me the glass of water. I took the water from him. Was he holding back from telling me something? I really wanted to know what happened to me.

Did something happen? I asked him. Holding the water in my hand.

He sighed before telling me. You had another panic attack just from looking at the picture of my sister.

I looked at him for a few seconds recalling what had happened as he explained it to me. I don't see what the big deal is, you didn't have to hesitate-

I did. He interrupted before sitting down on the bed besides me. It wasn't that I was only hesitating to tell you it's because I **didn't** want to tell you.

My eyes shook slightly as I scanned his face. I was still half way in my sleep mode and things didn't really click to me quickly within this moment.

Why didn't you want to tell me?

Because, I didn't want you to remember. You've been threw hell this entire time I can't just let you continue falling in and out of consciousness like you've been doing. Alex looked at me before saying, I don't get it, you were fine this whole week and now you're having panic attacks again. I know I told you to forget but you keep remembering.

I drank some of the water he gave me and sat it aside before turning towards him fully. Alex? I shook my head. I'm fine, I'm just. I paused to think of the right words I wanted to say. I'm still trying to cope with the fact that my dad is gone and put behind bars and not to mention things are different in my life now, I'll forget eventually-

Eventually isn't fast enough. He interrupted again with an intense edge in his voice. When will you get the fact that I don't want you to be in pain anymore. I just want you to forget everything that's happened to you when you were with your dad. I hate seeing you suddenly have panic attacks and there's **nothing** I can do. He frowned at me sadly.

I turned away from him. My voice came out bitter even though I didn't want it to. You don't need to worry about me, if I say I'll be fine then I **will.** I don't get how I can possibly forget all that's happened to me in just a week. I need more time then that, so stop worrying about it.

I turned my eyes back to his to see anger in his pupils. I sighed. Why are you so angry?

Who says I'm angry. His voice sounded regular but his eyes still bore into mine with the emotion of anger. It kind of freaked me out the way they did that. I suddenly felt defenseless and unarmed. Was I...afraid? Of Alex, no I couldn't be even though that was the exact feeling a felt right now just sitting next to him. I continued to stare at him and he did the same to me. Further and further I felt myself wither feeling weaker by the second.

His eyes were intense like they could see right threw me just like they had on the day he had witnessed my secret.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_ I thought to myself before I averted my eyes from his, not wanting to look at them any longer. It was then that I felt his fingers grab hold of my chin and turn me back to him. The intimidation radiated off of him.

Alex?

Stop, it's fine. He said. I felt his warm breath ghost against my lips. I'm sorry. He whispered. It's just hard to see you pass out so suddenly and me not knowing what to do.

I felt my annoyance soften as he spoke sympathetically to me. I wasn't really fussing at him. I knew that he must have been in a panic once I had fallen out like that. But I didn't get why he got so worked up over me.

My face must have changed into a willing one because the next thing I knew Alex was looking at me in a very strange way. Intense, warning, and want was all the emotions shown threw his pupils.

My heart quickened as my body grew warm within seconds. Why are you looking at me like that? I asked him but I already knew.

Sorry Gareki. He muttered.

I was immediately shoved down onto the bed on my back as my arms were held above my head. My eyes widened as my breath hitched in my throat as soon as Alex positioned his knee between my legs nudging at my member ever so softly but firm enough to make me aroused in a few minutes of him continuing his movements.

W-What are you- I stuttered before he cut me off by putting his lips roughly to mine in an urgent kiss. My voice came out in surprise as I felt his tongue twist with mine making a sweet feeling overcome me. Both of our eyes were open as we kissed but I shut mine soon after and turned my head away stopping the kiss, before asking.

What are you doing?! Uh!

I hadn't meant for the sudden moan to come between my lips as the friction between my legs built up. I felt my body shiver at every pulse of intense contentment.

I tightened my lips into a thin line as Alex continued what he was doing. He didn't answer me as I kept asking what he was doing to me. I felt his hands leave my wrists as they roomed down my sides and over my healed hospital wound before stopping at my shirt teasingly.

I frowned as another wave of whatever it was went threw me. Again this was my first time doing anything sexual even the physical contact made my body shake with just a slight movement of his fingers. His dark grey eyes watched me with every playful motion he gave to me. They were as intense and intimidating as ever. His hands went back up to my sides but this time under my shirt before he slid them down with a slight scratch of his nails that sent cold goose bumps up my entire body.

I was sure my face was showing that I was confused. But I soon understood what he wanted from me, what we both wanted.

I had given up. We both had wanted this right, ever since we were in his jobs rehearsal room that was how much we wanted it, at that time we didn't care that we were in a public place, we were both distracted by the pleasure and pleasuring the person which had been me. I didn't know what was wrong with me as his hands kept roaming my body but felt like I was going crazy by each touch...I let him have it. Sitting up I pulled quickly him up and kissed him harshly, smashing both of our lips together and this time both of our eyes weren't open.

Shoving him down my breathing came out in small pants as my face felt hot with each passing moment. My body soon grew in heat as well.

Alex looked up at me surprised, his own breath coming out in pants. look at you, taking me on. He challenged with a small smirk.

I didn't say a word instead I just acted on instinct, I brought myself down over him and grinded my hips along with his once again making the friction build up. I couldn't help myself nor could I hold back what I was feeling, I emitted a moan from my throat as Alex's face turned mixed between excitement and arousement. I looked down at him as I continued to grind my hips hard against his before leaning down towards his neck. I wanted to hear it, I so desperately wanted him to moan out loud. But before I could make a move Alex had purposely rubbed between my legs with his hand making me moan loudly instead.

I sighed as I felt the thrill go threw my lower regions making my mind go wild with anxiousness and excitement. But that all stopped as Alex pushed me back down onto my back taking over once more.

Nice try. He said breathlessly leaning down to my chest as he swiftly lifted up my shirt letting the cold air hit against my skin. Goosebumps went up my entire body once again just as I felt the wetness of his tongue trail from the base of my jeans and up to the middle of my chest.

I let out a small laugh as it tickled just like it had last time he had licked me there but my laughter subsided as he took in my nipple once again circling his tongue around it. Oh! Alex! I moaned not expecting myself to say that, words found themselves in my head and here I was spitting them out in courtesy of the thrill going threw me.

His tongue trailed from my chest up to my neck as I leaned my head back to allow him more access to my skin as he bit down gently. I shook slightly as my pants grew tighter by each second. What was happening to me?! It was like I couldn't control myself, why hadn't I experienced anything like this before to make me better prepared for it.

Gareki?

My eyes found Alex's looking at me as his hand lowered down to my member placing his hand on my dark jeans right where it was beneath the fabric.

Uhhh. I moaned slowly in a low voice. His touch was making me anxious even more and that aroused me further.

We can stop if you don't want to do this. He assured me seriously.

I looked at him in concern. Did I really want to do this. I was 17 I didn't know if another moment like this with Alex would come by so easily. But then again did I really have to rush things, we had both wanted this so bad it would be a waste if I said no and pretend like were weren't just about to have sex. That would be awkward. Me and Alex had only been together for 2 weeks could we still go threw with something like this?

I nodded my head slowly. Keep going. My voice came out breathy and almost out of air.

Alex stared at me for a second thought but then agreed with me before grabbing my zipper and pulling it down slowly. I waited with anticipation as my erection sprang up in my black underwear.

Alex looked up at me again as he placed his hands on the hem of my tight boxers slowly pulling them down. My breath caught in my throat as my erection sprang up soon after he had pulled them all the way down.

My face grew red if it hadn't already. My eyes widened, I was never this big before! Just average but now...it was over average.

It twitched as I felt Alex's breath blow against it. Not on purpose but just subconsciously.

I whimpered slightly as he grabbed it softly and yet firm. I shut my eyes as I felt it pulse between his grasp. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go threw with it anymore nor was I sure I wanted to give up so quickly.

Emm.

My eyes snapped open as I felt a sudden warmness around it. I looked up to Alex taking it into his mouth. My eyes widened in shock. How could he do something so disturbingly disgusting. But as I watched him go down further and a surprising thrill of arousement went threw me once more and suddenly I didn't care.

I clenched the bed covers as I was pushed to the edge even further as my boyfriend continued his movements on my erection with his mouth. He had been doing this for 8 minutes now.

I was a moaning mess as my fingers ran threw my hair from the intense feeling going threw me. I felt myself going higher and higher and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.

Ale- you don't have to- I tried to talk between my panting breaths but I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't want him to keep doing this knowing I would come soon with his mouth still on me like this.

I felt my muscles tense up as I gripped a hand full of my own hair feeling myself go higher then before. Raw, intense, and epic. Alex pulled his mouth away and replaced it with his hand moving it quickly like he had done with his mouth.

I shut my eyes tightly as my head fell back instinctively as I cried out in ecstasy. I felt warmness fall onto my stomach as I came

My body shook with an after effect as I to gripped my boyfriends hand breathing hard with a cold sweat coming from my forehead.

I turned over on my side.

Alex looked at me and smiled slowly. You okay?

I lay there breathing and feeling the after shocks of my intense orgasm flow away from me before answering him. That was intense. I said weakly.

Alex was about to say something but there was a loud smash down stairs that made both of out hearts jump in our chests.


	19. Exceptance?

Me and Alex sat up quickly from our position on his bed. My fast beating heart thudded in my ears from the noise that had come from down stairs.

A female voice muttered loudly a profanity as the glass scrapped against the tile flooring of the kitchen below us loudly.

Alex! Dirrah yelled up the stairs. Come down here!

Alex turned his wide eyes to me and he quickly climbed off of me and I jumped off the bed yanking my pants back up and pulling my shirt back down and straitening it out. I tried to ignore the warm wetness of me coming earlier on my chest and stomach as I cringed at the gross feeling.

It's your mom. I stated looking at him surprised.

Yeah. He said quickly, scanning me over for any signs of disheveled clothing. His mom would probably suspect we had been doing something sexual which we **were** but no way did we want her to know about it.

Now that I realized, we hadn't told either of our parents that we were in a relationship, It hadn't crossed either of our minds until now. I couldn't believe that hadn't crossed my mind, of course I knew they would possible find out sooner or later but me and Alex had only been together for 2 weeks.

Come on. Alex urged me as he opened the door and walked out with me following him down the stairs.

Mom? Alex called out as he stepped foot on the main floor.

I'm in the kitchen. She answered from a distance. The sound of scrapping glass stopped as she answered and a loud ruffling of a bag was heard soon after. What was she doing?

Both me and Alex made our way to the kitchen slowly. I leaned over and whispered. You don't think she heard me moaning do you? Even though it would be impossible that she hadn't, I completely doubted my voice had been quiet threw my screams of pleasure.

Lets hope not. He said timidly averting his eyes to me for a second before looking ahead again.

Walking into the bright kitchen stood Alex's mother placing brown bags on the table but once we walked in she looked at us strangly with a squint of her eyes, looking at both of us from one to the other. There was one word that would describe the way she looked at us and that would be suspicious.

Alex raised an eyebrow, at his mothers facial expression. Mom?

Just like that she snapped out of her staring and emptied food from the grocery bags. What are you guys doing so late? She asked suddenly, Her voice was flat and demanding. She had definitely heard me moaning, this wasn't going to be good.

Nothing we were just, hanging out. Alex said convincingly. We both knew that wasn't what we were doing.

Once again his mother gave us a strange look, but this time she looked at us knowingly. Are you sure? She asked skeptically.

But Alex played it cool making sure it wasn't obvious he was lying. Yeah mom, we were just hanging out, playing our guitars you know.

She nodded slowly as she put her hands on the counter spread apart. She cocked her head. Alex, I heard what I heard from up stairs and I know there was no one else here but you and Gareki. Is there something you want to tell me?

I stood in anticipation. She knew, I know she did. For crying out loud she had heard us! I kept a strait face on the outside but inside I was freaking out with nerves. What was she going to say about us being together. I couldn't take it anymore, we needed something different to talk about or else my red face would give away what me and Alex were actually doing in his bed room.

Alex was about to say something but I interrupted.

We heard something break! I blurted out taking a step forward.

Alex whipped his head towards me giving me a look that asked why did I interrupt him, but I ignored it. Maybe if I changed the subject she would maybe forget what she had asked us, but of course that was huge if.

That was me. Dirrah answered now putting her hands on her hips. I had heard... **moaning** from upstairs and I was startled by it. Her eyes turned to me. It sounded a lot like you, Gareki.

I instinctively felt my face heat up in embarrassment, I knew my red face was going to give it away and now that it was even more red she definitely knew we had both done something. So she had heard me, this was something I had hoped she wouldn't have witnessed but she obviously had and now what were we supposed to do?!

Alex must have seen my slightly embarrassed/ panicked face because he tried to make up another lie but she stopped him mid sentence.

I need you Alex to be truthful with me. Were you two having sex?

Both of us stood frozen and I felt Alex tense beside me as his arm was against mine.

What was the point in lying now? She already fingered out some of it, there was no point in lying any longer, plus there was no more lying, hell she had heard what she heard and there was no mistaking that. The best thing to do now was to come clean.

I sighed quietly, turning to Alex before whispering. We should just tell her.

Alex looked at me unsure.

We have to. I urged further. She knows about what we did...

Alex looked at me seriously. But what if she doesn't accept us being together.

My lips tightened into a thin line as I thought about that conclusion. What **if** she didn't accept us being with each other? Would she say I can't come over anymore? Or would she say we couldn't be with each other and to stay away from her son. I didn't want to split away from Alex, he wasn't just my boyfriend he was my closest friend who had helped me threw tough shit that I was admittedly still going threw even if we did argue a lot he was still on my side. He was just loyal that way...and I didn't want to part ways with a loyal person such as him. But if we carried out lying his mom would eventually figure us out. How was I going to choose what was best?

Alex continued to look at me seriously. If you want this then I'll tell her-

No. I interjected. **I** will.

Alex blinked, apparently he couldn't hide his shock as it came across his face with raised eyebrows. Gareki?

I held my hand up to stop him from talking. Don't, we **can't** hide this. He frowned at me still not being able to digest my statement before he nodded in agreement.

Then we'll tell her, I just hope my dad won't do anything bad because of this. Alex muttered the last part but I heard him all the same because of out closeness. We both turned back around to face Alex's mom.

Well? She questioned patiently.

We didn't have sex but we did have sexual contact. I said seriously not faltering in my words not once. My heart was still beating in an anxious pace but I ignored it the best I could trying to calm myself. I took a steady breath to further conceal my nervousness. I was feeling way more emotions then I could ever count when it came to Alex and his family. This was all a foreign feeling to me

Dirrahs's face turned into surprise only a little as I continued to explain that we were in fact together as a couple. Her face remained slightly surprised by each word I told her, at a point in time Alex explained the story of when it all started but kept some details out during or time together only explaining what was important.

Once he was finished explaining his mother stay staring at us for a long tantalizing moment, but there was nothing that was teasing about it, it felt like torture both of us anxiously waiting for what she had to say. I couldn't help the nervousness that went threw my veins building up once more as her mouth moved displaying what she thought about the whole situation.

I don't know what to say to this, I'm very surprised right now but I'm...not sure what to say. She answered twice.

I didn't know what to feel about her answer except a bit of hope. She didn't know what to say about us yet so that at least meant we had a chance to still be together.

Will you still let Gareki come over? Alex asked.

She crossed her arms thinking for a few seconds. I doubted she would say yes considering the sexual contact thing.

Finally she let out a sigh. Considering the fact that Gareki is the only person that you actually interact with and the fact that he's been threw a lot, I would feel terrible if I took a once in a life time friend away from you so well, I'll let him come over but that doesn't mean you two have sex all the time. Got it?

Thanks. Alex answered. But mom, we didn't have sex.

Just letting it be clear, when you do. She answered back.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding right when my phone rung in my pocket, pulling it out I looked at the caller ID to see my mom's name. I pressed answer.

Hello?

Are you on your way home? She asked me.

Um, no I'm still at Alex's.

There was the clicking of glasses in the background and laughter and I was curious to what was causing it. Was she at a party?

I need you to get here, it is a school night and it's past late. She continued.

Alright, I'm on my way. I said before hanging up. I turned to Alex. I need to get going.

I'll drive you. Alex offered. Looking at his mother for a second before turning and going up the stairs to retrieve his car keys.

I was left alone with his mom. I didn't know what to say now that she knew fully well me and her son were dating.

How are things going for you? She suddenly asked as she picked up the glass pieces on the floor, I walked over and crouched down to help her with it.

There not bad, my days anyway, But of course I haven't forgotten completely. I answered my voice low.

Eventually you will- hopefully. She said with a small smile.

Yeah. I agreed solemnly. I'm just glad he's gone, my dad I mean, maybe now I can focus on things, possible.

Dirrah looked up at me and nodded. I'm still surprised to know you went threw all that. What kind of father was he to do such a horrible thing?

I inhaled a heavy breath trying my hardest not to remember him. He was gone, locked up and I didn't want to know him any more, but it still hurt that I was a son to such a terrible man like him.

I'm sorry for bringing it up. She said sadly to me not answering right away.

It's fine, I just need...some time. I hesitated slightly. To forget...

I hope you and your mother will recover from this.

I nodded not feeling to say another word about the uncomfortable conversation. I heard footsteps and in walked Alex holding up his car keys as he looked at me.

Thank you for the help. She said to me picking up and throwing away the bigger shards of glass that we could touch without being cut.

I nodded a welcome as I stood up strait and walked over to Alex who was waiting for me.

I'll be back. He said to his mom before leading me outside, and on the driveway into his car.

I sighed again after I sat down in the cold leather seat of the passenger side, buckling myself in as I rubbed my arms feeling the chill of the night prickle at my skin.

Cold? Alex asked me switching a nob that turned on the heater.

Soon I won't be. I said looking out the window. We pulled out of his driveway and drove down the street making a turn down another road along with other cars in the lanes next to us.

I turned on my phone to see what time it was. 11:30Pm jeez I had been at Alex's that long? I supposed it made since considering I had passed out.

What did my mom talk to you about? His voice came into my ears suddenly.

I shrugged, nothing really, just about how I'm holding up same as my mom.

Oh. He said half heartedly like he had become distracted by something.

What's the matter?

Sorry. He sighed. I can't stop thinking about what she said about us being together and all. She didn't exactily give us an answer if we could be together or not, I'm confused about that.

Well she definitely wasn't upset, she was just...I trailed off trying to think of a proper word for what she was feeling.

Unsure. Alex filled in for me.

Yeah. I said slowly as we stopped at a red light.

I hope she doesn't split us apart. I continued after a moment of silence.

Alex looked over at me his eyes reflecting the red light that shown bright in front of us. **She won't**. He sounded so confident and sure of his words.

The light turned green again and we continued to drive down the street. How can you be so sure? I asked suddenly.

Because. You've been threw a lot and the person who helped you out of it was me, I'm sure she'll think about that. And besides you're the only person that I've liked and had a main connection with. She wouldn't break that up.

So you think she won't split us up just because of your feelings for me and all the bullshit I've been threw? I asked him skeptically. His reasoning wasn't half bad but still...I had my doubts.

He nodded.

I rolled my eyes and rested my chin on the back of my hand. I'm not so sure, I mean if she says yes then that's good but we still have your dad to tell.

Crap, I forgot about that. Alex admitted sucking in an annoyed breath threw his teeth as he turned his car down a street into my subdivision. It was nice to feel no since of terror as we drove closer to my house.

I hope he considers it like my mother did. He'll think about it.

I silently agreed with him. It depends if he accepts me... or more like if he even likes me. I stated.

Alex looked at me unbelievingly that I had just said that for a few seconds before turning his attention back to the street. Of course he likes you!-

It isn't based on the fact that I was almost killed by my own dad is it? Because I don't need some ones remorse just because of a near death situation, I'm talking about if he truly likes me not feel bad for me. it needs to be true enough to be with you.

Alex didn't say another word as soon as he drove into the driveway and turned off the cars engine. Things went completely quiet, there was only the sounds of our breathing.

I turned towards him finally deciding to break the silence. I'm sorry, I just needed to get the point across so you could know what I meant.

Alex leaned his head back against the seat rest, closing his eyes with a sigh. I saw the slight movement of his barely audible adam's apple flex upwards as he swallowed. He tilted his head towards me just a little. It was dark but I could still see only half of his face from the lanterns beside the garage door of my house.

You know I'm not saying we're threw. He responded finally from the long silence. My face turned confused.

What?

If my dad says anything like we can't date or be together, we'll be together in secret if we have to. He said in all seriousness. His eyes turned intense again.

I had to admit I was surprised by what he had said, normally Alex seemed to be the goody goody in my book but now he was being reckless for our relationship which was sexy in a way, I guess he was hooked onto me more then I had imagined. One week ago he had told me in band class that I was his right in front of everyone that was watching and he hadn't hesitated to kiss me in front of their view either. I was completely oblivious to how much Alex liked me up until now.

How do you feel about it? He asked me sitting up strait in his chair, eyes still on me.

I looked away. Not from being uncomfortable but just to think. I didn't know about the whole idea of sneaking around dating Alex but if that had to be done then we could do it, but that would mean we'd have to be carful since his mother knew about us being in a current relationship. But then something clicked to me. I turned back around to face Alex.

Won't your mom know, even if we do play it off like we were just friends again in front of her she'll probably think we're still together even if we try to hide it.

He blinked at me not answering for a few seconds. No matter what, we'll still do it in secret **if** she disagrees, if she chooses to allow it then we have nothing to worry about.

I nodded slowly hanging on to every word he had said. This was so important to me, how could I let something that felt right in my life walk away from me just because his parents wouldn't allow us to be with each other.

I grabbed the door handle. I should be going, my mom is still worried about me.

Alex nodded as he switched the key turning on his car again. Before you go...um...I just wanted to say sorry for what I did to you earlier, you know...He did an up and down gesture with his one hand in front of his mouth.

I felt my face heat up in realization of what he was reenacting, I wanted to laugh and I was embarrassed that I had acted so...willing and aroused like I hadn't been before at the time. I bit my bottom lip unknowingly before I said. It's fine, it felt...really good.

His lips pulled into a smile and he leaned in and kissed me on the mouth not as intense as it had been in his room earlier but it was half. I willingly and uncontrollable kissed him hard and he did the same finding his tongue on my lip asking silently for entrance before I granted it to him by opening my mouth and let our tongues reconnect what they hadn't finished earlier, It was all that I had imagined it to be hot, heated and undyingly addicting. We both pulled away before or urge to kiss hungrily came over us any further then what it had already.

I had to admit I was thirsty for more of it but I controlled myself.

I'll see you tomorrow, at school. I said breathlessly to him before opening my door. He smiled and nodded at me.

+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+0+

Looking from the side window on the front door I saw the head lights of Alex's car disappear down the street, I smiled inwardly and walked threw the entrance way to be met by my mom and some man at the dinner table enjoying a glass of wine from empty dinner plates.

I paused in the entrance way not sure what to make of the unexpected appearance. To say the least I was surprised. Maybe I should have stayed on my date with Alex if my own mom was seeing other men. At least I think this was a date, maybe it was one of her work buddies from work?

She looked up at me in surprise wearing a black dress while her hair was in messy curls. Hey Gareki. Did you have fun with Alex?

The man who was well dressed in a black tie and white button down shirt and a lean build turned to me with dark green eyes with a well groomed hair cut the color of dark brown. He smiled slightly at me casually just like my mother had just spoken to me.

Uh...Yeah, it was good. I dragged the o on good, still surprised about the scene unfolding in front of me. In just a week my mom had completely moved on from my dad rather quickly then I had anticipated, or maybe this was just her way of working threw the grief.

She looked at the man at the other end of the table noticing my bewildered expression. This is Jared he's a **_good_** friend of mine.

A _**very good** _ friend if you have him over for dinner. I muttered to myself rather then to her.

What was that?

Nothing. I said quickly, I turned my attention back to...Jared. I felt some kind of way about him, he was on the good looking side that was for sure and he looked around the age of his initial thirties, possible being 30 years old. I felt distrust towards him, not only for myself but for my mom also, I didn't care that they were _work buddies._

Don't stare Gareki that's rude. My mom scolded me breaking me out of my thoughts. Introduce yourself. She ordered.

Jared continued to look at me expectedly. But I kept my face strait and deadpanned. This man was gonna have to earn my trust.

my eyebrows creased together in dislike as I stuffed my hands into my dark jean pockets before walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs not daring to say a word of welcoming.

I went into my room and rummaged in my drawers pulling out clean clothes to redress after my shower. Down stairs I heard my mom speaking.

Sorry he's been threw a lot lately. Once he gets to know you he'll come to like you, but as of right now he needs...trust to except you.

She was exactly correct. But not on the " **He'll come to like you** " part. I didn't agree with that.

Shutting the door to the bathroom and locking it I looked in the mirror after I had set down my necessities for my shower.

My mom was definitely going to date that man and soon he would be my step dad. I cringed at the thought. Would she really go for a man that I disliked or did she really think I was going to warm up to him. Not a chance. I muttered the last part.

Sighing I place my fingers on my jacket zipper and undid the lock and let it slide off of me and onto the floor, pulling my white shirt over my head I threw it on the floor now being half way naked before I place my finger tips slowly on my pants zipper and pulled it down before regarding both my underwear and my jeans.

The warm water dripped down my pale face, closed eyes, my nose and lips down the rest of my body before disappearing down the drain. What was happening in my life, could it actually go back to normal, the answer was no, they wouldn't. No matter how I looked at it, I couldn't escape the pain ,the memories and the nightmares. How was any of it supposed to go back the way it was?


	20. Hard To Face Reality

My eyes snapped open from the sound that broke threw the quiet of my bed room. I blinked a couple times trying to adjust to the darkness surrounding me but it never came. It was still in the middle of the night, not what I was expecting because I hadn't remembered going to sleep at all.

My mind had woken up with me so I wasn't distracted by sleepiness as my eyes continued to look around my dark room as I lay on my pillow.

There was nothing now, not a sound that I had just heard seconds before except the slight banging on the window from the wind outside. I sighed in half annoyance, I had school in the morning and I needed to get up early for it, I wasn't going to get enough sleep if I woke up by a sound that obviously didn't happen. Rolling over on my other side I closed my eyes again.

A few minutes passed before I heard the thud outside my door. I opened my eyes again about to turn around out of curiosity but found that my body would not move. My eye brows creased in confusion. What? My muscles felt stiff- as if frozen. I didn't understand what was happening to my body. I tried to move my arms and legs but they wouldn't budge from the side position I was in. I was stuck laying on my pillow, the only thing I could move was my eyes as they darted around the darkness in sudden fear.

I was beginning to freak out, it was dark but yet I felt a presence in the room with me watching me as I pathetically couldn't move to defend myself. In one swift inhale of breath I was hyperventilating because I couldn't breath, it felt as if I had just done a mile run the way I desperately breathed in air, and so quickly an ice cold hand gripped the bottom half of my face in a strong hold before snapping it to the side that was when I woke up.

I screamed loudly as my eyes opened to be met with the bright rays of the sun lighting up my bed room. My alarm clock screamed with me in unison as it was the time for me to wake up for the day.

My screaming stopped abruptly after I looked around myself to see nothing that could hurt me physically. My heart thudded in my chest and ears as the calm feeling came back to me.

I was shaking.

Rakeing my hand threw black strands away from my face I sighed in relief. It had been another nightmare about my dad. He was taking over my head- even though I may have escaped his torment on beating me he was still stuck in my mind whenever I went to sleep.

I jumped as my mom slammed my door open looking panicked. Gareki are you okay?!

Even though I had been having nightmares ever since I left the hospital- or should I say ever since my dad had been taking away to jail she was still shocked awake by my screams even though it had been happening almost every night.

Her eyes turned to me and saw that it had in fact been a dream. She sighed a breath of relief. Thank goodness. It sounded like you were getting murdered in here!

I didn't say anything as I felt my muscles continue to shake from the lasting effects of the dream. I hadn't grown accustomed to the nightmares either, I was still just as scared the night they had first began.

My mom still stood in the doorway looking at me unsure. Her face turned melancholy before she spoke. Gareki, I've noticed that these nightmares of yours aren't going away, I'm not saying this would be a good idea for you or not but maybe we could-

No. I said abruptly. I knew what she was going to say before it even passed her lips. She wanted me to see a counselor- a shrink, I didn't want to sit in an office with a person with a clip board asking me random questions as I lay on a couch or chair. I wasn't crazy neither did I have a personal problem. Why were both Alex and my mom trying to make me forget so quickly didn't they understand I needed time for Christ's sake!

Just yesterday Alex had urged me to forget about what happened to me, just to let it go like it never happened. But it was harder then either of them could ever imagine.

Then what do you plan on doing about this? she urged sounding frustrated.

I need time! I said annoyed. Just a couple of weeks a few months or a whole year! Just give me some time! My eyes bore into her own in a fed-up way. Everyone just needed to be patient with me. Why couldn't they understand that?!

I looked away from her finally and she stood there for a few more seconds before grabbing hold of my door knob and shut my door.

I wasn't mad at her I was just annoyed. But of course I couldn't hide the fact that I had done what I could in protecting her, I had won no matter the pain, the bruises, and the scars. My dads torment was over and he was gone for good, at least I hoped. But things were bugging me, how was I going to get over something so serious and life threatening? Could it actually happen like I persisted it would. I mean, everyone had to forget something in a matter of months or years, but I felt skeptical that I would forget what had happened to me all that easily.

I inhaled deeply before exhaling loudly before dragging myself out of bed to get dressed for the day of high school in my usual dark clothing consisting of a black sleeveless band T shirt, dark grey skinny jeans with a hanging chain from the belt and simple black VANS, shouldering my back pack and grabbing my guitar case I made my way down stairs and into the kitchen grabbing an apple before walking my way to the door but stopped in my pace.

Turning my head I noticed Jared sitting at the kitchen table reading a news paper with a mug of coffee to the side. Typical. What the hell was he still doing here?

I still didn't know how I felt about the guy.

My mom walked around the corner, the clicking of her sophisticated black high heels clicked against the wooden flooring as she stopped in front of me with a smile. It was as if our earlier argument hadn't happened. I had yelled at her after all and I felt guilty.

But not guilty enough to not ask. What is he doing here?! I whisper shouted.

Her smile still was plastered onto her face. He just got here and he's taking me to work. She whispered.

"Why"? Don't you have a car of your own?"

Yes, but were good friends and he offered so. She dragged the o on so as if she were some high school prep girl hooked onto her crush. My eyebrow twitched. She was defiantly falling for this guy.

I rolled my eyes.

Don't be like that. She scolded. Now introduce yourself this time, I promise you'll like him if you just give him a chance.

But I-

My phone vibrated in my pocket indicating me I had a text from Alex, I brought it out of my pocket and read it over: I'm picking you up, come out side.

I felt myself uncontrollably smile at the message not being able to hold it back.

You'll never know unless you talk to him, or do I need to give you some time alone with him? My mom continued to beg me to introduce myself to this man I didn't even know or liked.

I gave her a deadpanned look before turning away and continuing my walk towards the front door, grabbing the knob I opened it before turning back to her. I don't think so. Sorry. I shut the door behind me. Rather I liked him or not could I trust him?

I sat in the seat next to Alex and buckled myself in with a sigh. I almost hadn't caught the " good morning" from him as I entered.

Oh, Good morning. I answered half heartedly. It was completely obvious that I had things on my mind and it was true, it was all flooding in my head threatening to overwhelm me.

Alex raised an eyebrow at me. Is everything okay? He asked as he drove out of the driveway and down a familiar street.

Yeah, yeah everything is just fine! I said sarcastically meaning no enthusiasm in my words.

That was SO fake. You obviously have something on your mind, now tell me, and don't even think about lying or dodging my question. He told me with a persistence in his voice.

Even if I wanted to I can't since I have so much on my mind right now I just need to tell someone or else I'm going to explode. I muttered to him, my face not changing from being serious.

Tell me one thing then. He persisted.

I sat back in my seat trying to think of the best way to start it all out. Alright, My mom is seeing this man that she labels him as being her good friend but they don't seem like friends since I saw them on a dinner date at my house last night at the dinner table right after you dropped me off!

Alex looked at me in surprise. " Wow" your mom is already seeing other men regarding what had happened between her last husband.

Yeah. I think it's a way for her to work off the grief but you can just imagine how surprised my face was when I saw the two of them.

I can't believe she's moving on so quickly. Alex said in shock.

I know! I said a bit to loudly. I was glad that I had another person that agreed with what I didn't understand.

Alex looked at me astonish at my sudden outburst and I looked away saying a low sorry before he spoke up.

Well Gareki they" **possibly** " aren't dating. Alex insisted putting emphasize on the word possibly.

I **know** they are. They have to be, even though my mom says there only " **work buddies** " I raised both of my hands up with my fingers as well and flexed them down wards at the two words creating more emphasize I **know** she likes him. I just don't trust him and I can't believe she's moving on this quickly without being upset it's unbelievable how she can just right a bad situation off like it never happened in the first place. I mean, can you believe that?! I crossed my arms with a huff.

From the corner of my eye I could see Alex's shoulders shacking ever so slightly and I looked towards his face where a smirk was pressed against his lips as his breathing hitched with quiet laughter.

I squinted my eyes at him. I'm being serious here. What's so funny?

He laughed harder." You are". He turned to me with a smile.

I faltered at the perfect smile he gave me only to turn away realizing I had been staring to long.

What's his name anyway? Alex asked.

Jared. That's about all I know about him except for the fact that he has green eyes with dark brown hair with a lean body and he isn't bad looking but in an attractive way. Also he's the age of 30.

Alex nodded slowly before speaking. You know a lot about him already.

Those are the basics. I shrugged resting my chin on my hand. Plus I still don't know what his intentions are. He seems nice with my mom but I need to see how he acts besides interacting with her. He might be faking it.

I think you may be taking this **TO** seriously. Alex told me pulling into the teen parking lot of our high school.

Well of course, I mean I haven't been this serious ever since my dad was put in jail...

Alex frowned at me before hesitating to ask. Does, Jared know about your last situation with your dad?

I myself had hesitated to answer that but I found the words to pull me threw. He must know, I mean he has too in order to get close to my mom like he's been doing, she must have told him, I know she has.

Alex parked into a car space before shutting off the car's engine with a twist of his key before sitting back in his seat. We still have time to talk before the bell rings.

I nodded before I decided to ask his opinion on all of this. What do you think about all this?

Alex leaned his head back against the head cushion on his chair like he had done last night before answering. I think this whole situation is fucked up.

I nodded in agreement. You're completely right and I wish it was only this I had to deal with but my mind keeps going back to the past events that have happened to me.

Alex frowned at me again and turned serious as he asked in realization. The nightmares, there back again?

They've been back, remember yesterday when I...passed out. I had a nightmare when I was out cold in your room.

Alex nodded knowingly. I figured that would happen. He sighed. I don't get it. Last week you were fine, you didn't say anything about visions of your nightmares or anything, things were going smoothly but now there just back. Maybe...we should get you some help with that.

My eyes snapped to his in surprise.

Oh you too? I said bitterly annoyance rising back up in me with bewilderment mixed in as well. I can't believe this.

What? Alex asked me confused.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. You want me to go see a shrink too. I'm not crazy Alex!" They're just nightmares!"

Gareki, what are you going to do? I can't just keep letting you continuously have nightmares with no way to escape them. He persisted with me.

Yes, you can. What the hell can a shrink do about them anyway?

She or he can **talk** to you **help** you. He said calmly unlike myself.

I refuse! Why can't you just give me time to just forget! I said annoyed and pissed off that he kept bugging me to forget just that quickly, how the hell was I supposed to do that how the hell was ANYONE supposed to do that! I had almost died just a week ago and I couldn't forget that quickly the events that I went threw just to stay alive and keep my mom safe scared the shit out of me. I was done with this I need to be alone or just to get away for a few hours.

I'm only trying to help you. Alex said to me looking me strait in the eyes.

We both stared at each other for an intense moment. I looked away. You need to face reality Alex that I can't forget all that's happened. I don't think you can ever understand. I need to go... Bye.

My lips pushed together in a line as I shook my head, grabbed my things and got out of his car shutting the door behind me before making my way into the school building.

These were hard times indeed.


	21. The New Girl

**GothinBlack- Thank you for all your views and favorites on this book and thank you for enjoying it as it is. This book has now reached 846 views we'll get to 1,000 views in no time. Thank you so much and i'll continue the story. You people are amazing! (:**

* * *

I walked down the hallway in a slow manner with one hand in my pocket while the other carried my guitar case. I kept my eyes to the floor, to caught up in deep thought to look up.

I knew Alex was only trying to help me- same as my mom was, but did they **really** have to send me to a shrink just to talk about the nightmares I've been having? It sounded ridiculous and to be honest I was offended by it.

People went there for mental, physical depression, or just typical relationship marriage problems...so why did I have to go. I wasn't crazy and I wasn't about to label myself as being such.

Why the heck was so much stuff happening to me now. I had thought that once my dad was out of the picture things would go back to the way they were, but they hadn't, for all I knew they had gotten worse.

The nightmares wouldn't go away, my mom was seeing a man that I didn't feel as though I could trust, and then there was the fact that Alex's parents knew about our current gay relationship. I on the other hand still hadn't told my mom. But I was surprised she hadn't noticed herself depending on how much time me and Alex had spent together during the last past week.

I was literally barely home- she always had to call me. I guess it goes to show how much I really enjoyed Alex's company. I admit, I shouldn't have run away like that and gotten all angry, it seemed to me that I had been doing that a lot lately. Losing my temper I mean.

Doing the combination to my locker I put my things inside but held onto my backpack and got out my English Lit book and carried it with one hand closing my locker with the other, I was startled and jumped a few inches up as I looked at Nai's fa- well half of his face considering the long white hair with a light purple tip on the ends covered one of his eyes plus the other half of his face all together.

I frowned a bit. No doubt I was curious to see Nai's full features but I figured it was a private reason of why he covered his good looks. but I couldn't help but feel that it was a waist to hide a perfect face like his, but who was I to complain?

Hey Gareki. He greeted me happily.

Hey. I offered back. My tone sounded off which meant I was still distracted. I looked the other way still having some stuff on my mind.

Nai cocked his head at me a bit before asking. Something the matter?

We both began walking down the hallway as I contemplated if I wanted to tell him or not. He already knew about what I had gone threw so why not.

My mom and Alex think I should go see a physiologist, but I refuse to.

Hm? That doesn't sound so bad.

I rolled my eyes." Don't tell me that you agree with that idea too?"

Not saying I do, but it does help, after all I had to go see one myself. He said.

I raised an eyebrow looking at him half surprised. Seriously?

"Yeah." He shrugged. Not really a big deal. but of course I hated it at first because I thought only the crazy people go there.

I stopped suddenly watching Nai as he kept walking before he noticed I wasn't by his side, He looked back at me in question stopping in his pace.

You're right...That's exactly right. I muttered in surprise.

He walked back over to me and reached a hand up to my shoulder. What are you talking about?

I don't want to go there because I think it's for crazy people, I don't want to be labeled as that, just because I've been having nightmares more then usual.

Nai blinked an eye at me. Gareki, you shouldn't think that you're crazy just because of the things you've been threw I mean I was much more crazy before I met you. I suffered from extreme depression threatening to kill myself whenever I got the chance no one was watching me.

I cut myself in places that you can't imagine. He continued in a whisper.

My breath caught in my throat from how much me and Nai had so much in common with injuring ourselves.

He gripped firmly at my shoulder in a non painful way. By the way it's your choice if you want to go or not, if the situation with your nightmares is that intense then you should go but I think both Alex and your mom should give you space to forget before they assume they'll stay permanently. That's just what I think.

I nodded slowly still in surprise by his words. Yeah... I muttered.

He smiled at me before pulling away entirely. I've been meaning to ask you. We should hang out after school." If that's fine with you?"

I thought about it. I didn't have anything to do after school except possible go to Alex's house but then again I seconded guessed that. I didn't want to face his parents at what they thought about both of us yet. I couldn't handle the awkwardness just yet.

I turned back to him. Fine by me.

Cool meet me after school at the entrance doors, we'll get to the parking lot quicker that way since everyone takes the bus route.

I nodded. Just as the bell rung.

See you. He said speed walking down the hallway.

I sat at my desk in English Lit. Half of the class getting seated while the rest stayed in there groups of chats and gossip.

High school was such a dangerous place to lose your reputation thanks to how many idiots talked about one another, it was pathetic in a way. This is one of the reasons why I try to lay low and out of peoples lines of harsh gossip talks.

But one group in particular caught my ear as I heard my boyfriends name come out a girls mouth. I turned around slowly to see a tall girl at the same height as Alex and me with long black hair and light blue almost grey eyes. She was stunning with a heart shaped face and slightly pale but sort of dark with a tan skin against the dark grey crop top with long sleeves and black frilly skirt, along with thigh high socks and black Doc Martins she was wearing.

I hadn't seen her around school before. She must have been new...and popular as the crowd of girls around her commented and urged her to talk about Alex Thorne. A.K.A The cutest guy in school was how they labeled him as.

I would label him that too.

It peaked my interests so I listened in. Alex wasn't in the class room yet so he wouldn't hear about this unless I told him about it.

Tell us! Please.

Yeah, Spill the details. Stormy.

From what I could tell her name was Stormy. It was unexpected she looked more like a lexi then that name.

Alright, alright. She said as she held both of her hands up with a nervous smile on her lips. I just met him in the hallway when we bumped into each other, He looked as if he were in a hurry but we talked for a sec just to introduce each other.

He helped me out with my bags that I dropped and I helped him with his guitar case. I found out that his name is Alex Thorne and he's in guitar class. I got completely lucky since I'm in that class to. How great is that?!

The girls around her smiled and laughed until one spoke up. Well you got lucky again because he's in this class to.

Are you serious?

The girls nodded.

Do you know if he's available? Stormy asked.

I haven't seen him with anyone. said a girl.

He must be with some one, I mean. **Look. At. Him.** He's hot.

Actually a week ago in band class I saw him kiss this dude. said another. I have band class with him to.

I felt my face heat up knowing exactly what they were talking about. Alex had definitely kissed me in front of band class after seeing me talk to Nai out of him being jealous.

No one had said anything to me about it since it had happened. I had thought people had forgotten all about it, but now I was wrong.

No way. said a girl.

It's true. He kissed a boy named-

Class is now in session take your seats. bellowed Mrs. Stewart. Just in time.

The girls reluctantly took there seats and soon Alex walked in making the girls whisper all over again.

He walked to his seat right besides mine. Oblivious to the stares and the whispers as he took his seat and set down his back pack.

I had been watching him the entire time he had entered but he was yet to notice. I wasn't worried about those girls having a crush on him. That was expected of course. But he was my boyfriend which meant he was already taken and I wasn't going to give him away so easily.

I felt my face heat up even more at my choice of words in my head.

It was then that Mrs. Stewart stepped aside as the new student Stormy stepped in the center of the front room.

Every one looked up as she introduced her full name. Stormy Agularia Lin. She explained her interests and job/career choices after high school and then she took her seat in the back row. She was some what close to me and Alex I notified.

I didn't know what to feel about her. Territorial, or should I just ignore her like I did to everyone else at this school beside the three people who were acquainted with me. Alex, Nai, and D.C.

Well I guess it depended on how she acted towards me. I mean she was going to figure out me and Alex were a couple sooner or later, so the best thing to do now was to wait and see if she was going to be a bitch or a nice girl.

Mrs. Stewart began her lecture right as Alex turned to look at me finally realizing I had been staring at him the entire time since he stepped foot into the class and threw Stormy's introduction .

I looked away trying to distract myself with the lecture and not thoughts of what I had said to him that morning. I was going to apologize later but right now I still felt a tinge of annoyance flow threw me.

I focused on our new writing assignment having to do with writing an essay. I flipped threw my book subconsciously looking for info on the new assignment just as the bell rang threw my ears. I packed up my things without a word and got out of my seat just about to walk out the door when a hand grabbed my shoulder.

Wait a sec. Alex said to me when I turned to face him. Don't be mad at me.

I raised an eye brow." I'm not mad...I'm annoyed."

Why? His stunning features creased up in confusion.

You don't get it, I can't just forget all those things that happened to me, why do you keep urging me to when you know I need time to get over it. I don't need to go to a shrink just becua-

I'm sorry. He said with all seriousness in his eyes and face.

I was taken aback by the sudden apology. Not knowing what to say right away.

So far I don't think I've been fair to you. I keep saying unnecessary things that keep getting you mad at me-

Stop. I interrupted. Just...stop. All the annoyance I had towards him flooded away as if it had never been there in the first place.

The class was nearly empty now, except for Mrs. Stewart and some students gathering their things.

I leaned in and pecked him on the lips lightly before pulling away. It had been a fast fleeting kiss but it was satisfying.

"Okay, For one." I said slowly. I should be saying sorry to you. I get angry easily, I'm sure you've noticed that. I said softly before adding on. But I'm glade you came to talk to me despite me yelling at you this morning. I'm just...frustrated with the rushing me to forget this and that. Is all.

I'm really sorry. He said again knowing he had caused me to feel this way.

I shook my head. It's fine, but I'd really appreciate if it didn't happen again.

Alex was about to say something but a voice offered a greeting towards him.

Hey, Alex. Said Stormy walking up to us. She looked my way dismissing me as if I wasn't there as she turned her sights back onto Alex.

Oh, hey. Alex offered back with a small smile.

What you doing after school? She asked with a smile of her own.

I leaned against the door frame of the classroom watching them talk.

Alex spared a glance towards me before looking back to Stormy. I'm hanging out with Gareki.

That was when I remembered I had told Nai I would hang out with him after school, I guess it was okay for Alex to come along too depending on what Nai would say. I didn't think he would mind any since we were all friends, at least I think, were both Nai and Alex on good terms with each other or not. I wasn't sure.

Considering the fact that Alex had been jealous that time I had been staring at Nai. But that had happened a week ago, he had to of forgotten.

Aw, that sucks. She said turning her thunder eyes to mine with a look of jealousy.

I slowly raised an eyebrow still leaning against the door frame with my arms crossed and shrugged. "You got a **problem** with that?"

Alex looked at me from the corner of his eye at my rudeness. I wasn't going to back down because of this girl. Did she **really** think that she could just waltz on in here and take what was already some one else's and throw a fit about it if things didn't go her way, No that wasn't how things worked here.

This girl from what I could tell was definitely going to be a bitch instead of a nice girl. Despite her good and charming looks she was hiding something underneath all that goody two shoes shit.

I **hate** fake people. I muttered to myself before grabbing hold of Alex's shirt and practically dragged him out of class to gym.

All the while I felt Stormy's glare on my back the whole time until we disappeared down another hall way.

The bell sounded off as soon as both me and Alex stepped into the big gymnasium.

You're late! Yelled the coach. Just as every one was crowding in the changing rooms.

Sorry sir, won't happen again. Alex spoke while I was still dragging him along.

Wha- wait, Gareki stop!

I felt his hand grip my own and pull it away from his shirt as I turned to face him. What?!

What do you mean what?! He said to me. Why are you dragging me around?

I stared at him for a few seconds before turning and continuing to walk to the changing rooms.

Alex sighed. Great, your doing that thing where you run away from the question.

Who says I'm running- I'm clearly walking. I said back. Entering the locker room and finding my locker before doing the combination. Alex's locker was three doors down from mine.

Don't be like that. He said opening his own locker before looking back at me.

That girl isn't good. I stated flatly.

He frowned at me. What...do ...you mean? He said slowly just as I took off my shirt revealing my lean chest and stomach. I looked towards him wondering why he had stopped suddenly.

He blushed and turned away from me. This case scenario made me remember what we had done in his bed room last night causing my face to heat up, not only mine but his too.

He looked away from me before asking. So you think Stormy is up to no good. He dismissed the sudden awkwardness between us.

That's exactly what I'm saying. I said as I put on my sports shirt and soon after sports shorts and sneakers.

Gareki you have nothing to worry about, alright. I mean what is there to worry about? She's just a new girl.

With bad intentions. Don't be fooled by her cuteness. I said closing my locker.

Are you jealous? He asked closing his locker as well.

Why would I be? I glared at him.

Look, we've talked about this before. You have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to be with her just because she's good looking, okay? I chose you for a reason and I'm sticking with that reason...I like **you**. He said to me in all seriousness.

He leaned over and kissed me fully, unlike the fleeting kiss I had given him earlier, this one lasted longer. And despite the stares we got from our peers I returned the kiss just as much as he did to me.

Maybe I wouldn't have to worry about this girl...just maybe?


	22. Dislike or Like

**GothinBlack: What a busy week. Sorry that it took me a few days to update but here you go and enjoy and thank you once again for your views we are now up to 911 views total. Thank you all for enjoying this book so far.**

 **I will continue.**

* * *

I sighed in annoyance as I watched the time tick by during the lecture in chemistry class. Our teacher was going on about notes, upcoming tests and about studying for it next week. I wasn't really in the motivational mood to listen to it all.

My mind was caught up some where else.

Alex watched me intently in his seat across from mine, me being completely oblivious to his gaze until Mr. Sholtz, our teacher, ordered us to work with a partner of our choosing for an experimental project said to be done in class.

Instinctively I turned to Alex. Both of us silently knowing to partner up like we always did since the past week.

Get to work, and don't forget to fill out your paper work. Said Mr. Sholtz.

If I wanted time to go by quicker then I supposed I'd have to work for it, like every one else. I took my eyes off the clock and resurfaced from my thoughts only to bring myself to focus my sights onto the lab equipment sitting in front of me and soon Alex came to the table sitting right besides me.

You look completely lost in thought. He notified to me, in a matter a fact tone with a laugh in his voice.

"I am." I muttered plainly more to myself then to him but he responded to me anyway.

"About...?"

Us. I answered plainly.

Apparently I wasn't specific enough since he looked completely confused about my answer.

"Okay, Us?" He shrugged urging me to continue.

I leaned in to him and spoke quietly. We kissed earlier, in front of the class in gym. I never had a problem with it before but considering the whispers and the glares I've been given I'm starting to second guess that we shouldn't do it in public anymore.

I looked him in the eyes and he looked back at me dumfounded.

I didn't blame him, after all it was **Me** saying all this after all. The guy who would just sit there and ignore it all but what if I told you that I couldn't bring myself to ignore **everything** , no matter how simple it was to just let it go and not let it get to me **.** Of course there were some things that just bothered me and got stuck in my head to the point where I couldn't just let it go like I had trained myself to do the last past 2 years of high school.

"You can't be serious **-** are you?" He said in disbelief.

"That's why I'm telling you." I rose an eyebrow.

Gareki, He frowned. Since when did you care about the way people think about you? You always ignore it-

Well even ignoring it doesn't completely keep it away. I said quickly obviously bothered by his response.

Alex stayed quiet for a few seconds trying to contemplate what to say or just handle the fact that I had said what was bothering me without having to keep it howled up inside which was some what of a first.

Are you bothered by the way we show our relationship in school- I mean not saying that it's obvious but we've kissed a lot of time in school **with** people around. I don't think you should worry about it. I mean nothing bad had happened. So what if you get a few stares and whispers they won't do anything. He encouraged.

"I sat back in my seat and sighed." Moving a hand threw my hair before answering. Maybe you're right , I'm just out of it right now since I might be the center of attention. You know I don't like a huge audience knowing about me. That's all.

So you're not nervous about the whole school finding out we're a gay couple? He asked me with a slight smirk on his lips.

Not nervous. I like us being together the way we are but with so many people having there own oppinions about it and telling their friends just to make a fool of us, it's making me unsure about us showing it in public like we've been doing.

It's to much attention. I'm not used to the feeling of so many people knowing about me anymore. Like it used to be...back in middle school.

Alex picked up a miniature spoon that was given for our project and dropped a dark purple liquid into the water watching it's chemical reaction turn dark blue. The water had been mixed with some kind of chemicals for sure.

It's a reaction. He said to me before writing it down on his paper work and I did the same before dropping my pencil back onto the desk top.

So you mean to tell me that you've been distancing yourself from people that long? He asked me looking up from his paper only to drop more different colored liquids into the samples of water given.

Yeah. I looked down before averting my eyes back to his...I thought I told you?

You may have... He said in thought before writing down some more.

Did your mom say anything about us being together yet? I asked.

Alex's pencil led broke as he abruptly stopped writing. He looked back up at me and sighed before shacking his head. No, she told my dad about it just like we had expected and even he's surprised by the news too.

To be honest, I'm kind of nervous about what they say about it. He continued.

I wouldn't blame them. It surprised me too when we started being together. My voice sounded distracted and off topic. It was true I was distracted by the words he had just said. I still couldn't help but to wonder what his parents would say about us. I wanted to know so bad.

Alex must have seen my distraught face because the next thing he said was: Let's just try not to worry about it, we have more important things to think about...such as?...He snapped his fingers and then pointed at me. What are we going to do after school? I did skip out on Stormy-

I rolled my eyes. Don't bring that up.

He smiled at me despite my serious look and soon I couldn't help myself but to break a small smile back at him, I looked away thinking about how ridiculous I was to let my seriousness falter like that. I needed to get my point across to him that I didn't trust her...for some reason, I felt like she was going to be up to something bad. But maybe I was just overreacting...

You have any idea's? He asked, breaking me out of my dilemma of troubled thoughts.

What to do after school?...I shrugged. I'm not sure, Nai's going to have to come up with that I suppose.

Alex dropped his pencil but kept his eyes on me. They had that intense look in them again but as soon as I saw it , it was gone.

Nai? He asked cautiously.

Uhhh...Yeah. I said slowly not sure how to react to the scary look he had given me a second ago. Was he okay with Na?. I guess my earlier question about the both of them being accustomed to each other wasn't exactly right.

What about him? He asked me.

I turned my eyes back onto my paper work and filled in most of the blanks before answering.

Earlier he asked me to hang out with him after school and I said yeah. I shrugged and brought my eyes back up to his. Is that...okay?

Yeah. He said unnerved which I found it strange by the tone in his voice. He sounded... bothered despite his chilled response. Looking back down at the containers of given water he continued with the project at hand, not saying a word as minutes ticked by.

Nai's a good guy, he won't do anything. Why are you so...

I'm not bothered because of that. I'm not bothered at all. Alex said not looking at me at all as he continued writing.

I frowned and sat back in my seat with my arms crossed. Oh wow ...how the tables have turned. That caught his attention.

He looked up at me an unreadable expression on his face. What?

I picked up an eraser, looked at it then threw it at him square on the forehead.

Hey!- what the hell?! he said causing some students in the class to turn to us in question. He rubbed his forehead before picking up the eraser. You threw this at me, **why**?!

Your being stupid. I pointed out boldly.

That doesn't give you the right to throw an eraser at me. He protested setting the eraser back down onto the black table top.

Uh..it kinda does. I argued back. Why are you so aggravated once I mentioned Nai. He's your friend- he's our friend. what did he ever do to you?

Nothing.

Exactly. ...Could it be, that you're still jealous?

Alex stared at me intensely for a few seconds. Yeah, I am.

I shook my head. Did anything I say to you in the car that time mean anything? I like **you** , why would I go for some one else that doesn't understand me as much as you do? I asked him. I mean sure Nai has a little bit in common with me but you understand fully of what I've been threw.

Alex opened his mouth to say something but the sound of the bell dismissing class for the day rang threw out the room.

I grabbed my back pack and shrugged it on looking back at Alex who was already packed and waiting for me by the crowded door of students eager to get out of he building and class room.

I mean what I said. I told him as I walked past and out the door with him following.

The words that you said didn't go on empty ears, it's just...he trailed off. I don't know.

Nai and me aren't compatible- we weren't meant to be. I rolled my eyes and turned to him. Alex. You have **nothing** to worry about. I shrugged it's not like Nai likes me in that way and you and me **know** that. I turned away from him and continued walking as he still stood in the middle of the hallway staring after me before catching up with me.

I'm just over reacting. I'm sor-

Don't. I held up a hand to silence him. Don't apologize. It was just a misunderstanding, don't worry about it. Just follow me...

Where are we going? He asked keeping up with my fast pace past all the students walking in the opposite direction.

To the side entrances closest to the student parking lot, also where Nai told me to meet him.

"Hm." Was all that he said. I restrained myself from rolling my eyes again having to look the other way.

As told, Nai was leaning against a wall next to the double doors before he looked up and saw me coming before his eyes looked over to Alex and a questioned look over came his half features.

"Hey Gareki."

"Hey. I offered plainly back." Stopping in front of him same as Alex.

Lets get going. Nai said before turning around and walked threw one of the double doors.

I rouse an eye brow once again. He hadn't acquainted Alex. This was just getting weird. What was up with these two?

Me and Alex followed him outside to the student parking lot.

So how are we doing this? Nai muttered.

What? I asked.

Two cars. He suggested.

I'll just ride with Alex and you lead us.

Nai nodded before getting into his car. I turned to Alex. You go ahead I need to ask him something.

Alex looked at me suspiciously causing me to roll my eyes- I couldn't retrain it this time. Just wait for me okay, I'll be there.

He reluctantly went towards his car and sat down in the drivers seat closing the door behind him. I sighed and went over to Nai's window before knocking on the glass. His window pulled down to reveal half of his face.

What is it? He looked at me questioningly.

Cut the crap already, I wanna know what's up with you and Alex?

Me and Alex? He repeated.

Yes.

Nai smiled slightly before stating. He doesn't like me.

I didn't find that something to smile about.

What do you mean? You didn't do anything. Why would he not like you? I asked.

Nai absently shrugged. I wish I knew.

I was confused. Of course I got the aspect that Alex wasn't fond of Nai like I was since the first day of me meeting him back in band class but I never knew Alex disliked him. It was...weird. Alex had nothing to worry about, but of course I still believed he had his doubts.

I leaned against the window frame of his driver side window. Alright, I'll figure this out, you just lead us to where ever it is we're going...don't worry about Alex, he's just territorial when it comes to me.

Nai looked at me confused. Why is he that way?

Both me and Alex are together...as boyfriends. I must have not told you that.

What?! Nai said in surprise. One of his red eyes widening. When did you guys get together. And wait, you're gay?

I guess I just figured you knew about it since we did kiss in front of the whole class, don't you remember? I crossed my arms.

I didn't see you guys kiss... he trailed off for a few seconds before continuing. But this is big news, I didn't know you were into guys. He said excitedly which threw me off guard kind of. I had expected Nai to react in a disgusted sort of way, but I had been wrong.

I put a finger up to my lips and winked one eye. Yeah...try to keep this a secret from everyone, the last thing I need is a huge crowd staring at me weird just because I like the same sex.

Nai gave me an odd smirk before nodding. Alright, your secret is safe with me. We should get going though.

Right. I said with a sigh backing away from his window as his engine started up, I began to walk in the direction of Alex's car but stopped and turned back around to Nai.

By the way, I hope you don't mind that Alex is coming with us. He's not really that bad of a guy once you get to know him.

I'm not bothered. Was all Nai said before his window went up and he drove forward.

Closing the door to Alex's car once inside I caught his eyes on me. I turned to him. What. I shrugged.

Nothing. He turned back around and started up his own engine to follow Nai's car.


	23. The Party

The music of a rock band blaring in my ears lolled me to close my eyes as they grew heavy with me getting tired, my arms were folded over my chest I felt my body shack a bit from the road Alex and I were currently driving on still following Nai's car.

Alex hadn't said a word to me since the beginning of the entire drive. To be honest, it was bothering me, but I didn't want to say anything , just incase he was in a bad mood or something like that.

I wondered if he was mad at me, but then again...why would he be? It wasn't like I had done anything wrong just by talking to Nai. Was he seriously still jealous about Nai asking me to hang out with him after school? I could only hope he would get over his grudge and just trust Nai.

I still couldn't get over the fact that he thought that Nai liked me in a boyfriend sort of way. As if. Nai and me were just **friends** and we were going to stay that way. If only Alex knew that, then he would stop being so paranoid about it.

I opened my eyes a crack trying to keep myself awake for the rest of the long ride only to catch a glimpse of the sun over the horizon getting ready for night to fall. How long had we been driving? I couldn't answer that because the next thing I knew my eyes automatically closed themselves pushing me further into sleep yet again. Where unexpected darkness pulled at me with tight cold hands as a scream filled my ears.

Of course the nightmares were always there to greet me whenever I went to sleep. My dad may have been locked away and no longer was a part of my life but the nightmares were here to stay and I began to think that they'd never go away, they were here permanently.

I felt my body shiver and then there was a hand touching my shoulder.

Gareki? Came his voice.

I took a steady step around the corner knowing that this was a dead end but there was no where else to go. The bright light stood at the end of the hall, his dark shadow growing bigger as he took steps closer to my hideing figure.

he was getting close, way to close. My eyes darted to his hand where an outline of a sharp object was clearly held in his tight grip. I bit my lip hard to afraid to move to afraid to turn my eyes away.

I did my best to keep quiet as he got even closer to me and my brain kept screaming at me to. Run, run, run! But I couldn't.

I sucked in a cold breath, the fidget air catching in my throat, it was cold so very cold and I so desperately wished I would wake up NOW.

I took steady breathes as I heard the clicking of his work shoes before he said my name in his stupid voice once again.

I know where you're hiding, Gareki...come out, let you dad comfort you. The sound of his voice was followed by the loud scrapings of a the sharp blade sliding against a surface, it had to be the wall.

My grip tightened around my already bleeding arm where he had managed to graze my flesh with the sharp tip of the very knife he was holding. I mistakenly grimaced with a hitch of a pained grunt from holding my wound to tightly. Shit.

His head peaked around the corner and he smirked down at me before striking down at me with the knife-

There was a nudge on my shoulder before a hand rested against my cheek slapping it slightly. I forced myself awake abruptly opening my eyes and sitting up quickly in my seat, I saw Alex standing in front of me.

He frowned down at me a slight worry marring the fine lines of his face. You..okay? He asked me slowly.

I pushed some of my hair out of my eyes only to have the black strands fall back in place over my forehead and nose only slightly covering my left eye. Yeah. I answered finally after collecting myself enough to calm my racing heart.

He stared at me unsure for a few seconds more before responding.

We're here. He took a step back. I groaned not prepared to wake up entirely but that was until I heard the voices of people around us. I took out both of my ear buds and turned off my music as I looked around myself only to see a large house with colorful party lights coming from the windows with loud rock band music ringing threw my ears. Teens were walking up to the porch with groups of people or friends going inside the house as if invited randomly.

I blinked a few times to clear my head and then I sighed knowing exactly where I was now. So Nai had brought us to a party, just my luck _...I meant that in a sarcastic way._

Did you know he was taking us here? Alex asked me. His attractive features turning into confusion.

No. I said plainly getting up to my feet and taking another look at the party house as teens not only hung out inside bobbing there heads to the loud rock music playing from inside but partied out side as well with red cups filled with possible alcohol or punch. Chatting up a storm. My guess would be the music would be a lot louder on the inside then it was on the outside since some of it was muffled by the closed doors and windows of the big house.

The house in self was closured by trees not being neighbored by any other houses near by but just to the wilderness.

I closed the passenger door to Alex's car only to see Nai walking over to us with a small smile on his lips. He stopped in front of us. Sorry it took so long for us to get here but she does live kinda far from the school.

I sighed. Nai? who's party is this? I gestured towards the house.

It's D.C's. it's her birthday actually. He stated with ease despite how many people were actually partying it up on her lawn.

Some party. Alex muttered under his breath looking out at all the people having a little bit to much fun on the grass as the sun grew even closer to night fall.

You or her didn't think to tell us that? My voice came out annoyed instead of surprised. I guess you could say I was just ticked off because of the massive crowd of people. I didn't like crowds. I wish he could have told me before I actually decided on hanging out with him.

This had turned out way more then I had expected, I had anticipated for us to just go to some place to eat or just hang out with just the three of us but it turned out we were hanging out with way more people that I didn't even know.

Nai looked at me apologetically. Sorry, but D.C really wanted you to come and I thought that I could surprise you since you have been dealing with a bunch of drama at home, I thought that this could be a way to let lose. He shrugged still giving me a sorrowful look.

What do you say? He asked sort of nervously.

I crossed my arms and stared at him trying to decided my next action. What was I going to do? He **had** went threw the trouble of asking me, and D.C really wanted me to come and he wasn't wrong about me dealing with drama at the moment, I guess my answer was going to be a yes...but, I had to set a rule for myself tonight. No getting drunk my mom was going to kill me if I came home like that and besides I didn't know how things would turn out if I ended up drunk.

I had never delt with myself being completely wasted before.

I looked up at Nai finally making my decision. Fine, lets go in.

His lips turned back into a smile before he told us to follow him making our way threw the already wasted people in D.C's yard before climbing the stairs and soon coming to the front door.

As we walked up the stairs Alex grabbed my wrist and stopped me. I turned to him looking him strait in the eyes. What?

Can you go threw with this? He asked me quietly.

You're worried? I asked him instead, dodging his question.

Just concerned. He rose an eyebrow. But are you?

What do I need to be concerned about? I frowned in confusion.

The people, the crowd. He answered. Does that not concern you the slightest?

I'm not scared of people I just don't like the attention. I answered back.

Alright, but tell me when or if you want to leave okay? He said.

I nodded. Us both stepping foot onto the porch just as Nai pulled out his phone from his pocket.

What are you doing? I asked him.

Calling D.C to open the door I doubt people will hear me knocking and some idiot locked it.

Alex leaned against the brick wall and shoved his hands into his pockets. Will she honestly hear you with all this music playing?

She leaves her phone on vibrate all the time. Nai said a bit surprised that Alex had said words to him ever since we had gotten here. He dialed her number and put the phone up to his ear while waiting I took the time to look around her yard at the teens who were having a good time other then some throwing up from drinking to much and some were passed out or just talking in groups.

This party must have been intense telling by how many cars were parked in front, it was surprising how we had even found a parking spot. I never knew that D.C was this popular she might as well have been more popular then Stormy.

Speaking of Stormy I hope she wasn't here, the last thing I needed was for her to be clinging all over Alex. Not like she had ever done that but I didn't want her to start tonight.

I sighed again. Could I really go threw with this? Could I let lose like the rest of these people were doing? I leaned my head back against the wall closing my eyes for just a few seconds to think. In truth I had dealt with a lot during the past few months but now- tonight would be the night that I could let lose. But then again I had to keep my self stable enough to think.

You okay? Alex asked beside me.

I took my head off the wall about to answer but Nai interrupted.

We're in. Just then the door opened to reveal Darcy's face. She was dressed in her signature black clothing but her hair was different, slightly longer and spikier. She held a clear glass of some kind of drink I wasn't familiar with

Her black lips pulled into a smile. You made it, bout time. She opened the door wider letting the flashing dark colorful party lights spark threw the door and brighten up our faces against the darkening atmosphere as the sky grew even darker. The music got louder as well, the shadows of dancing bodies were shown inside, going crazy by the music playing.

I felt my heart pick up speed as an urge of adrenaline went threw me.

Come inside. D.C offered stepping aside.

What about your parents? Alex asked unsure about it all.

Out of town. She said confidently. She gestures to the open door with her hand still with the smile on her lips.

I stuffed my hands into my pocket. Lets go. I said to Alex stepping foot inside the partying house and threw the bustling crowd with D.C leading all of us.

Nai shut the door behind himself making sure to keep it unlocked for the other teens who were still out side.

Once inside it was hard to keep up with each other at the raving crowds of dancing people rocking there heads to the loud stereo.

It was honestly the most craziest experience that I ever had. It was like I was in some kind of concert the way the people moved along to the pounding music. It was all so overwhelming, fun and intense. it almost made me want to join in but I felt completely new to this sort of thing and... I was.

People were yelling there heads off or should I say cheering there heads off as people danced on the tables. The light effects D.C had chosen were a blinking mess making the entire house look like we were all inside a night club. It was amazing.

Couples stood in corners touching in their personal make out sessions as if they were the only ones in the entire house but no one paid them no mind. D.C lead us down stairs passing even more people to wrapped up in kissing one another to pay attention to what was around them. Finally we came to the basement where it seemed to be the same amount of people down here then up stairs.

Alex grabbed my hand trying to not lose me in the crowd as we all made our way to a bar area. The shelves lit up with bright lights to lighten up the menu of choosing what drink you wanted.

D.C sat at one of the high stools crossing her bare legs over the other as she called for a guy named Lock.

All three of us sat down on a stool as a teenage boy or older. He looked to be 19 in age telling by the mature outlines of his equally attractive pale face. His hair was spiky black standing out at the ends and some strands covered over his eyes but not enough to conceal them from my view. His eyes were a dark turquoise that played against the flashing party lights that shined against them.

He wore a dark hooded jacket with a black T shirt underneath and that was all that I could see since the counter was in the way of the rest of my view of him.

My eyes roamed back up to his face only to see that he was staring at me making me feel stupid and slightly embarrassed for looking at him so long. Alex didn't seem to take notice since his attention had been on D.C talking to her.

D.C turned her sights back onto Lock. This is another friend of mine, just tell him whatever you guys want to drink, and Gareki.

I looked at her glad to have a reason to break the eye contact with Lock.

"Have fun okay." She smiled at me before jumping off her stool and disappeared into the crowd. I slowly turned back to the counter.

"You alright, your face is red?" Alex asked me in my ear causing pins and needles to sting at my ear in a comforting sensation.

"I smiled a small one before turning to him. Yeah, I'm fine."

"He smiled back at me before asking what I wanted to drink."

I looked at the choices and realized they were all alcoholic. Except for one that stood out. A water jug. Or so I thought.

"I shrugged. Just water." Apparently that was the exact name of the alcohol.

"Me to then." He agreed.

The guy named Lock pored us a glass each of water and set the small glasses in front of us. I rose an eyebrow wondering why they were in shot glasses but then figured this was a house mini bar this was probably all the cups they had. So I picked it up tilted my head back and drank it without much more thought then that.

Where's? Nai I asked over the loud music. I tasted my tongue figuring out the water tasted oddly of strawberry instead of plain. That was...odd?

"He left a few minutes ago saying he wanted to dance. Alex answered."

I smirked at him before turning back around to face Lock. I put up two fingers ordering two more of the same drinks we just had and he sat them down in front of me and I swallowed them down.

"Alex laughed at me. Wow, you were thirsty."

I sat the small glass down feeling suddenly energetic , a few strands flew in my face before I pushed them back and turned to Alex again.

We need to dance! Now! I laughed. I looked to his still full glass, grabbed it and drank it before getting out of my seat immediately feeling the music vibrate threw my body making my heart speed up with excitement. I had no idea what was wrong with me but I felt exhilarated. I felt as if every bad thing washed off of me as I walked and stripped off my jacket throwing it some where as I let the music take me with it's obsessing beat and rhythm.

I whipped my head back and forth and shook my hips throwing my head back against the rest of the dancing bodies around me. I acted wild as if I couldn't control myself. People around me were cheering and bumping up against me as they all joined in the crazy huddle. In the corner of my eye I could see Alex staring at me gaping in surprise with a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

The lights above us kept flashing into dark blue and red so I couldn't see much until I realized he wasn't in his seat anymore. I frowned in confusion still dancing with the crowd but looking for where he had gone but then I felt a strong hand turn me around to face familiar grey and white specked eyes.

"I smiled. Joining me now?! "I laughed. Watching him dance with me along with the crowd and I was surprised to say that he was really good at dancing as well as singing.

"Not bad." I complemented.

"Goes for you too! He said back." I didn't know you could dance.

Neither did I! I said moving against him feeling a thrill go threw me before I subconsciously turned around and kissed him full on the lips. I was completely taken aback but what I had just done, after all it had been me who had said not for us to kiss in public but here I was breaking that rule and telling by Alex he was surprised by my actions to but after a few seconds he kissed me back taken captive by my lips.

My mind told me to pull away but I instinctively didn't want to but I had to since I was running out of air. I pulled away from him slowly still a bit shocked by what I had just done.

He laughed at me before asking." What has gotten into you?"

"I don't know!" I answered truthfully just as his phone buzzed in his pocket.

He took it out and looked at it. I couldn't see the screen but his face creased in dislike before he turned it off and looked back to me. I need to go for a second.

"I watched him pass people. Where?!" I called after him.

"Bathroom! He yelled back."

I watched after him again as he disappeared up the stairs. I stopped my dancing and exited the dance floor grabbing my jacket that was near the bar, had been probably kicked over here by one of the party goers.

I then sat in one of the high stools where Lock was cleaning empty glasses before looking up at me and smiled.

I found his smile to be odd or maybe it was because he didn't look like the type to smile.

I'm going to need another water. Two of them actually. I ordered puling at the middle of my shirt to get the hotness out.

He rose an eyebrow but didn't say anything as he pored the clear liquid in the two shot glasses before setting them down in front of me.

I picked one up and drank it in one swallow before going to the next. I wondered why this was so good to me?" My mind grew cloudier by the second but I didn't seem to mind, which was weird for me."

"Thanks. I said tiredly."

Welcome. He responded. His voice was deep but some what in a soft way. I looked up at him strangely. So you're D.C's friends?

 **Friend**? Yeah I am. He corrected me. I hadn't even noticed I'd made a mistake. My brain was being weird with me at the moment.

I sighed dramatically before spinning in my chair before coming to a stop. Did you see my moves? My voice came out in a joking manner even though I didn't find anything funny but I laughed anyway.

Lock blew out a short laugh before saying. You really like those drinks don't you. His eyes bore into my own. I found them intimidating just like Alex's were.

I really like you. I laughed again not noticing what I was saying. As I bit my bottom lip slowly.

He smirked at me and his eyes seemed to roam over my face before coming down to my lips. He reached foreword and I didn't pull away as he touched my face and glided his soft fingers against both of them.

You're really good looking. He said to me.

I blinked at his words not expecting them. Oh Wow, thank you. I said astounded. He kept staring at me and I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of him. What was wrong with me tonight?

I then noticed Alex had been away long enough just for the bathroom, I began to think he had gotten lost in this massive crowd. I smiled at lock and held up a finger. I'll be right back. I slid off the stool almost losing my footing but caught myself just in time before I fell flat on my face. I fixed my hair before turning back to Lock who looked like he was holding a laugh in.

I meant to do that. I said hotly before making my way threw the crowd. I squeezed past a group of girls making my way up the stairs back to the couples who were still making out as if they weren't around people but I wasn't the one to talk since I was just sucking faces with Alex a few minutes ago myself. I rolled my eyes at my forgetfulness and continued up the steps and around the corner to more partying people we had seen from the moment we came in.

I looked to my left and saw D.C messing with the stereo and rocking her head to a hard metal band as she tapped her boots to the beat.

Hey, D.C ? I walked up to her and she looked up at me in question.

Oh Gareki what's up, having fun?! She asked me loudly over the loud drum solo.

Lots. I said a bit to enthusiastically. " Anyway, have you seen Alex?"

Umm. She looked around. No I haven't, where did he go? She turned back to me.

Bathroom.

Oh, well the bathrooms are down this hall. She pointed out.

"Ok, thanks." I turned away from her and made my way threw the crowd once again and into the hallway where the bathrooms were.

I made my way past a few more people before looking up to see in horrored shock in the middle of the hallway against the wall was both Alex and Stormy making out in front of me. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened in shock. Was this real?

The music banging threw my ears told me it was reality. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There had to be some sort of misunderstanding. Right?... Right?!

But there lips connecting together wasn't a lie. It was true and it wasn't a dream even though I wished I was in my nightmares rather then being in this terrible reality.

But why would he do this to me?! Was all that he said about me and all that we had done together was it all for nothing, just fake? I didn't understand!

I felt broken all over again. I shouldn't have let myself get so close to him and I knew he was to good to be true but of course I was stupid and he broke down my walls that I had tried so hard to keep up. Why did I ever let him!?

I turned away from them both and made my way threw the crowd again and back downstairs on my way to the bar to drown myself so I could forget what I had just seen. But Nai stopped me.

Hey, Gareki where have you been? He looked at me concerned.

Bathroom. I confessed before moving foreword without stop.

Oh, okay... . He said unsure before leaving me alone sensing that my attitude wasn't right at the moment and he was right.

I sat down at the bar and asked for an alcoholic drink not caring any more but little did I know I had already been drinking alcohol.

What happened? Lock asked me not making a move to give me what I ordered.

He's just like everyone else. I said angrily.

In that case you want to get him out of your head. Lock guessed my exact intentions.

I looked up at him with a serious face and nodded. He turned away from me and picked something out on the shelf and sat it down on the counter in a bigger glass. And here I had thought they only had small shot glasses.

What is it. I stared at the dark red drink with a lemon sticking to the side of the glass.

Just drink it. He told me.

I wasn't sure about it at first but then what had happened flooded threw my mind and I so desperately wanted to forget at that moment and as soon as I drank it my mind went completely blank as I partied the night away as if nothing had just happened.

The flashing lights fuzzy and blurred threw my vision twirled around my eyes as I danced on the dance floor with the rest of the crazy teenagers. I smelt the stench of cigarettes as people did drugs at near by tables I had no idea if I joined in or not but I did remember leaning over a toilet and throwing up. Everything wasn't clear the music was loud and vibrated threw my body exciting me more with the rest of the crowd and I couldn't stop myself this time. I remember hands roaming over my chest and my face and I remembered unfamiliar lips kissing my own but I didn't realize who it was but I did notice the voice was deep and soft, it sounded a lot like Lock's but I was to out of it to know as I felt my back laying against a hard surface.

I was on the floor the next time I came to my senses. I got up to my feet noticing the room was almost empty and the lights were on to there normal hue instead of different colors. My vision was blurry causing me to blink a couple times before I sat up. Red cups were everywhere with buds of cigarettes and lighters there were a couple of discarded clothing to, bra's, shoes, and a couple of shirts and hats.

My head was pounding but I couldn't seem to remember anything except for what happened during my night of partying. It all flooded threw my head in flashes to the point where I saw Alex kiss Stormy. I hadn't wanted to remember that but of course it invaded my mind any way.

In just like that Alex came running down stairs with D.C and Nai with a worried face but I still couldn't see all that clearly.

Here he is. Nai instructed pointing at me.

I slowly got to my feet. Wondering where Alex had been all this time if he had just now found me.

But Alex tried to stop me as I climbed to my feet.

Gareki I don't think you shoul- I slapped him hard across the face stopping him in his steps. I huffed. I'm done. I slurred in my drunken babbling.

I don't need you or anyone! I then pointed at him. You're a liar Alex, and I hate you for it! You play with my emotions.

I leaned against the bar stool trying to keep myself up right but clearly that didn't work because I fell anyway soon falling unconscious once again.


	24. Heavy Rain

**Gothinblack: Thank you all so much! You all are truly amazing and I mean it, thank you. I'm amazed at how popular this book is becoming we have just reached 1,012 views that was so quick! faster then any other books that I've made.**

 **Enjoy this chapter. I will continue.**

* * *

My eyes opened slowly. Vision blurred and unfocused as the light crept into the bedroom window. It wasn't as bright as the sun would've been, my guess would be it was cloudy outside or it was just raining.

Just as I had guessed I heard the slight pattering of droplets raining down against the window. I sighed to myself in pain. My head was killing me and the noise of the rain was only heightened to an extent where it was like I had head phones on listening to loud music but this was absolutely annoying nothing great about it. Almost every noise made my head ache more.

I felt sick and weak at the moment like I hadn't eaten for a whole day. I reluctantly turned on my back turning my head to focus my blurry vision on a familiar night stand with my phone laying atop the surface.

I wondered what time it was and what had happened to me to end up feeling so terrible. I remembered that today was Tuesday, I had to be late for school if not already.

I still wasn't certain what room I was in but I had thought it was my own my head was to much for me to think right now so I let the thought go. I sat up in bed putting my sock covered feet onto the floor feeling my head ache at the mistaking movement.

I grimaced and ran a shacking hand threw the strands before slamming it atop my phone. I felt so weak I didn't want to move my limbs or the rest of my body but I needed to figure out what time it was.

Turning my phone on with a shaky finger I saw the time along with a line of missed calls and a bunch of added phone numbers with texts from last night.

I paused and my eyes widened at the messages:

Kate-" Nice party last night, am I right!?"

Samuel- "Crap man! You were off the hook! You're definetly okay in my book!"

Trisha- "You have to hang with us sometime. Have another party you are one cool dude!"

Nick- "Last night was crazy but you were even crazier call me sometime."

Lock-" You did good last night, I hope you had fun...I know I did... you're not a bad kisser I know you enjoyed what we did we need to do it again sometime. Call me whenever."

There were a lot more messages then just the few that I had read over. My thumb scrolled threw them deleting what I could from the bottom half before getting to the top my finger felt like it was cramping up from pressing so quickly. That was how many messages I had along with a bunch of new phone numbers that I also deleted. But still the message Lock had texted me still was on my phone staring back at me

My breath caught in my throat as my mouth hung open in shock. I turned off my phone and placed it on the bed somewhere, to distracted to see where it had gone. My hands rested in my lap as I looked up into the mirror across from the bed.

I was a mess. A pale face with dark circles under my eyes stared back at me, disheveled hair and my black T shirt was hanging off of one of my shoulders to reveal a red mark.

I squinted the best I could with my blurred eyes to see a hickey." I gasped not believing what it was. Had I- Did we - oh shit!"

Did Lock and I have s-

My words were halted as Alex came into the room stopping in his steps to look at me.

I didn't know what to say I was sorry for what I had done but what had happened last night hadn't been my fault, I was under the influence of alcohol feeling somber for - memories of last night came into my head and as they did I felt heart broken, hurt, betrayed, and angry.

I glared at him as his eyes met mine with surprise. He was surprised to see me awake.

Gareki-

Did you have fun last night. I interrupted him in a steady but obviously angered voice.

He must have known what I was talking about but just in case he didn't I added on. "The kiss with Stormy must have been great. Right?"

"He looked at me in surprise not expecting me to say that at all." Gareki it wasn't what-

What do you mean it wasn't what it looked like?! I yelled not expecting my voice to range that loudly. I hoped his parents weren't home I could only imagine my voice was going to get a lot more loud.

Let me explain. You saw her kiss me didn't you? He asked me calmly but his eyes were begging me to listen, but I was to hurt and betrayed to do so.

I shook my head in disbelief. I knew she was going to do something. I closed my eyes tightly feeling myself about to cry by the harsh sting my eyes gave me. What a weak thing to do I felt disgusted in myself for showing such an unbelievable side to myself especially to **him**. Even though I tried to push the over whelming tears back they wouldn't listen as one escaped sliding slowly down my pale cheek.

I swallowed a lump in my throat my lips pushed together tightly as I gripped the bed. I can't believe you toyed with me like that, why would you? Does it look like I deserve something like that! I looked at him fully tears falling carelessly without me being able to control them.

This would possible be the first time that he saw me crying.

Gareki. he sounded sincere but I forced myself not to believe it. I **know** what we have. I told you I **only** like you not any one else. Why would I go back on what I said to you?

I shook my head again looking down. Why would you?

Alex crouched down in front of me lifting up my face but I pulled away from his hand. Just talk. I ordered angrily.

Alex looked at me apologetically but didn't back away. She forced herself on me Gareki she wanted to talk to me but then she caught me off guard-

Then why did it look like you were kissing her!? I saw you and I watched. You made no move to get her off of you!

I did, trust me. He said. You were drunk weren't you, your mind was overreacting. You didn't notice what I did.

I **wasn't** over reacting. My voice came out forceful I saw you, don't try to make me think other wise. My voice cracked. "You lied to me this whole time didn't you?

No. He said shaking his head. I never lied to you. All the things I've said and done for you were real." Gareki you have to believe me. Please."

I don't know what to believe anymore. I said defeated as I grabbed my phone to see the message from Lock I had already read over 5 times just to surprised by his words.

I can't believe I've stooped so low to get drunk and do something like this...I muttered under my breath looking at the message. I dropped my phone to the floor still in shock by that message he had sent me. I made no move to pick it up. I was to weak and unsettled. I honestly just wanted to go back in my sleep feeling like the nightmares once again would be better then reality. Either that or I was still in the influence of alcohol.

Alex leaned down and picked it up but not without looking at the screen where he read the message and his face turned into surprise just like mine had. But his expression changed when he turned back to me.

"You had sex with him didn't you? He asked me in astonishment."

I buried my face in my hands unsure of what I had done last night it was all blurred out. I don't know. I grumbled.

Are you serious? He asked me still in surprise. How could you. He said hurt. You couldn't have asked me to explain what was happening between me and Stormy.

It was after I saw you kiss her. This is your fault that I got completely wasted and ended up like that! I yelled at him. Looking up at his face to see the same emotions I was feeling cross over his own.

He brought his eyes up to me. That intense look was in them again. You didn't have to do this, please tell me you didn't do this with him? His voice wavered a bit within his deep voice.

His voice was pleading with me as if the answer was a live or die choice for him. I sucked in a breath before sighing quietly.

I remembered lock touching me and kissing me and telling by the hickey on my shoulder he had done what Alex had feared.

I didn't do it with him if I can remember but he most likely had done it with me. I answered.

Alex looked completely heart broken like I was. In the end we couldn't be together all because of some party that got way out of hand. I knew I shouldn't of gotten involved with him from the start, hell I knew I shouldn't have gone into that party I should have gone home even if it was D.C's birthday. But most of all I felt like I shouldn't have let Alex get close to me, I should have just ignored him like I had done with every one else, I shouldn't have let his feelings get to me but I did anyway and this is where it had led me. It had le me right into a trail of heart ache.

Alex sunk down to his knees looking as if he were holding back tears.

My heart was back to feeling empty like it initially was but even I knew I couldn't return back to me emotionless self like I had been before we met each other.

The heavy rain beat loudly against the window as Alex's eyes were hidden behind his dark red and black hair crying quietly. I must have meant something to him...or was it all still a lie just preparing me to get my heart broken again.

I turned the other way not wanting to look at him.

Minute passed and within that time my mom had called me and I picked up my phone to answer. She wanted me home and she had asked me where had I been all night. I lied and said just at Alex's, I had accidently fallen asleep.

I hung up after having a conversation with her as if nothing melancholy or dramatic was happening right now. I put it inside the front pocket of my jeans before standing up. I wiped my eyes before saying. I need to get going.

Alex looked up at me bitter and sad all at once but obliged with my request.

I found myself looking out the drizzling window as houses passed by in a familiar neighborhood where I lived. My chin rested against my hand on the arm rest of the car door.

I tried to ignore the sad and depressed feeling of being in Alex's car, would this be the last time, within two weeks we had shared laughs, stories, and music just enjoying one another's company but now all of that would be over so soon. How was this problem between us going to be fixed or was it going to be fixed at all? There was no point in us being together any more. We were both extremely upset with one another, what could fix that?

I closed my eyes wishing that none of this had happened. I had already been threw to much and now I was losing the one person who understood me deeply and emotionally. I squeezed my eyes tightly letting the tears cascade down my face and lips feeling to tired to wipe them away right at that second as we drove closer to my house in the poring rain.

We slowly pulled into my drive way coming to a stop. We were both quiet, not even saying a word during the whole ride. But that was to be expected.

I waited for a moment expecting for him to say something to me or deep inside I was hoping he would say something to me so I wouldn't have to say what I wanted to say, but he kept quiet not daring to look at me until I finally spoke up.

We're threw with one another, what you did is unforgivable. I don't want to talk to you ever again. I said sadly crossing my arms. My brain screamed at me saying. What do you think you are doing. But my heart was saying something opposite along the lines of get over him, it would have never worked out in the first place I'm better off on my own.

He didn't say anything at first but then his lips were moving. I like you more then anything I hope you know that... and I hope you'll realize that everything was a huge misunderstanding. I would never lie to you after everything that you and me have been threw. I can't say that I'm completely happy with what you did either but yeah. he swallowed before continuing... lets part ways. he said softly but clearly upset.

The last words hurt the most and they crossed over me pulling me into a drowning whirl pool of sadness. I was mad at him of course, but I was also sad that we were parting ways **like this**.

I didn't say another word just grabbed the door handle and made my way out immediately getting soaked by the rain. I crossed my arms and stood in front of the garage door as the rain pored down on me head making my hair droop in front of my eyes as I stared at Alex's car drive away. I saw his eyes look at me for the longest moment that actually only lasted for a minute with a peak of sadness in them before he turned away and drove off around the corner out of my view.

I clenched my jaw feeling the unwanted tears come back only to mix with the rain that dripped down my face as I stared up at the sky with my eyes closed feeling broken once more.

Was this how things were going to end for me? I guess it was back to my old ways then, there was nothing left to keep me happy.


	25. Rumors

**Gothinblack: For those who may be wondering if Yogi is still going to come in the story then yes he will. I'm just trying to get a perfect point to add him in once this Alex and Gareki thing is over.**

 **This book IS slow paced and I think it's going to be a lot of chapters but it's an exciting book so thanks for those who stick with it till the very end. I greatly appreciate it.**

* * *

I heaved over once more my stomache feeling like it was all going to come out of my mouth as I threw up in the toilet. Crouching down on my knees bent over. I breathed in and out slowly afraid if I took to much of a big breath then I would heave over again.

I weakly grabbed at the sink counter pulling myself back up finally done with my regurgitation- for now at least, it had been going on for hours, in my disbelief. How much exactly had I drunk last night?

I didn't know nor did I want to think about it, the thought made my stomach twist. Lifting myself from the floor, wobbling on my feet I slowly made my way in the view of the mirror having to support myself against the sink , trying not to fall like I had done like the first time.

My head ached. I was still dealing with the hang over and I didn't like it, one bit. Reaching a hand for ward I turned on the sink, washing my hands and splattering cold water on my face to wake myself up or to at least try and make my hot face feel better.

I turned the faucet off and rested my hands on either side of the sink looking up at my nauseated features. I looked and felt impaired. But this was not compared to what I looked like yesterday before all of this had happened. I looked like...someone else as scary as it sounded, it was true.

I looked away from the mirror and picked up a towel on the floor.

I had long since decided to skip school today mainly because of the situation with Alex and because I wasn't feeling all that great at the moment.

I cleaned up and went back to my bed room and dropped myself down on the bed carelessly face first.

My eyes were heavy for sleep but I couldn't close them, not yet at least. "I had way to much on my mind. Was what Alex said true?" That Stormy forced herself onto him."

I had been to shocked and heartbroken to think about the explanation he had told me. All in all he said them with truth in his eyes and face as if he wasn't lying but my mind was mixed up and I still had the unwanted memory of the two of them kissing last night which made it hard for me to believe him.

For once I actually thought the alcohol had taken a toll on me and made me see something different then what I let on, just like Alex had said but I know what I saw and it didn't look like he made a move to stop her from kissing him. "Or at least...that's what I thought."

Maybe he had tried to push her away but my mind had stayed frozen from the alcohol which made me picture them both kissing longer then what it actually led on to be.

I shook my head and covered my eyes with my hand after closing both of my eyelids. Even if what he said was true he still wasn't fond of me anymore. Hell, I had sex with a guy I just met last night without any memory of it, there were only slight flash backs to the scenes of him touching and kissing me as I laid down on some hard surface. Plus the message he sent me had enough proof that we had done what I suspected, but how was I to be sure?"

I mean, I had been drunk but there were other sexual things he and I could have done that didn't involve him going inside...me. I paused my thoughts for a second. My face grew hot at the thought I had just had. I shook my head getting the unwanted image out of my brain before it got stuck.

We couldn't of had sex, my ass didn't hurt or feel like anything... Like nothing happened. But I did feel a little odd as if I could still feel the lingering touches from Lock. I sighed and turned over on my side staring at the wall where the guitar that Alex had given me sat propped against the wall.

I blinked a couple times at it, my mind becoming blank. I pursed my lips together bitterly and turned away from the instrument I was now facing the other wall, finding it to hard to stare at something he had given me because he had cared. I knew he wouldn't have that same feeling for me anymore.

He helped me, he was different from the rest and yet he never gave up on me so was it right for me to give up on him? Despite the kiss that had hurt me more then my father beating me. I thought Alex was the only person that could ever understand but was I wrong?

He was genuinely hurt by what I said and all we ever did was fight at times but he was there for me.

I closed my eyes. What ever. I said weakly sounding distasteful with a sad tone in my voice. I said what I said... and so did he. We're threw and we've parted ways. even I knew that something like this wouldn't last. I should have never let him into my world and from this day for ward I won't let him in again. No matter...how much it hurts.

 _But deep down I knew I'd break this rule some day..._

My mom looked up with Jared sitting at the table for breakfast.

She smiled slightly, being in her work suit possible about to hitch another ride with her new boyfriend. Feeling better? She asked me concerned and chipper all at once.

When I came home last week she noticed my pale face and once I had thrown up in the nearest bathroom she knew I was sick or had eaten something not right. Of course I lied and said all that, No way would I tell her I had been drinking all night with a bunch of people I didn't know and she never noticed or knew about what I had done.

Within those four days I skipped school for the entire week preparing myself to get over my sulking mood of what I had seen my ex boyfriend do and get over my drunken sickness. And now next week which was now had started up. "Today being a Monday was distasteful for me but how else was I going to get threw the rest of the week?" I couldn't skip any more days. But was I prepared to step foot back in school. I didn't know.

I nodded answering her question, not feeling like talking at the moment. I looked towards Jared. I had forgotten all about him since everything in my life had taken over my thoughts.

I walked to the door ignoring Jared like I had done to him for days now ever since him being here. I still hadn't introduced myself to him and he didn't either. My guess would be he was keeping his distance from me knowing what I had been threw three weeks ago with my dad.

Opening the door I stepped out into another rainy day. It had been doing this for a couple days now, I didn't mind much but it gave the atmosphere a melancholy feel. I pulled up my hood and stuffed my hands into my pockets.

Prepared to take the bus, I made my way down the driveway with my head down looking at the pavement until I heard a honk.

I looked up to see Nai in the street with his black car. I blinked in surprise other than that my face stayed blank.

What are yo-

Come on! He yelled out his window waving me over.

My shoulders sunk and I walked over to his car getting into the passenger seat after setting my guitar case down in the back seat where I unexpectedly saw D.C sitting.

She waved at me after a few seconds of staring.

Hey. I said flatly before closing the door.

I leaned my chin on my hand before looking at Nai. What are you doing here? And how did you know where I lived.

Your mom told me. He said with a smile before driving forward.

I blinked at him my face staying deadpanned." When" I ordered.

In the hospital **that** time. We got to talking...and stuff. He shrugged. By the way I'm going to be picking you up from now on.

My eyebrows creased together. Um, okay. I shook my head slightly before looking ahead." Why though?"

Lets just say we've heard about your little dispute between Alex last week. The whole schools talking about it by the way. Answered D.C as if nothing wrong had happened.

You really slapped him good too. She added.

I made note that it was bot Nai and her fault that me and Alex were broken up. Nai for bringing us to the party in the first place and D.C for having so much alcohol for me to unknowingly drink. But I didn't say anything about it, figuring I should just let it go.

I sighed. Great so the school knows.

So~ are you guys okay? Nai asked.

...We've broken up. I said plainly continuing to stare strait ahead.

Both of them looked at me surprised.

"You what?" D.C questioned in disbelief.

We're not together any more. I sighed having to repeat myself. I didn't want to go threw the fact yet again that me and Alex no longer were together, I didn't want to relieve the hurt from it all.

Shit, that's all bad. Nai said apologetically turning a corner leading us closer to school. I knew you guys were fighting and all that so I took the nerve to drive you to school from now on. Oh yeah and telling by the way Alex has been holding up in school he seems pretty bothered whenever me or D.C mention you. it's weird. He wants to stay away from you.

I shrugged. I couldn't let this get to me, we parted ways for a reason.

Where were you last weak? D.C asked. Deciding to change the subject.

I hesitated to answer but I got the words threw my lips some how. Getting over it all, what had happened that is. I said pained.

D.C sat back in her seat and stared out the window not wanting to ask further about it. Sorry.

I moved a hand threw my hair not saying any words of reinsurance. What all are they saying about me and Alex at school.

Nai pulled into the student parking lot and parked his car before turning off the engine. They're saying **a lot**. That you had sex with some random dude in a bathroom at the party, that you acted wild that night and that you were the main reason why every one was so pumped on the dance floor. That you lit a fire right inside the house, that you kissed Alex right in the middle of the dance floor. It's a lot more said then just that, but some of it is ridiculous and not even true.

I believed the part that me and Alex had kissed in front od=f all those people that had been one of my flashing memories form that night. I still couldn't remember every last bit yet but I didn't know if I wanted to or not.

And as for you and Alex, well people are saying that the two of you got in a fist fight and recked D.C's house. Others are saying that you guys were definitely gay for each other so if you two were keeping it a secret then **everyone** knows now. Nai added on.

Shit. I muttered to myself. I hadn't wanted everyone in the school to know about that, reasons being because of all the attention I was going to get just for liking the same sex. Things had taken a completely different turn, now people were hearing rumors about me which made the whole gay thing seem nothing compared to the other shit louds of crap they were lying about me to everyone.

Nai continued to speak all the rumors that had been said about me since I had been gone all last week.

I wanted to crawl in an abyss and die. For Christ sake! People just wouldn't shut up. The rumors were more then I could handle but what other choice did I have?

Nai finally stopped his marathon of rumors and sat back in his seat taking in a breath.

I swallowed hard and clenched at my seat belt before roughly taking it off and slammed my hand onto the door handle to get out of the car.

But Nai stopped me or tried to but I opened the door grabbing my things before bursting out and briskly walking.

"Wait! there's one more thing!"

My hood was over my head as the rain continued to poor down. Students running to the entrance door after being dropped off by there buses.

I wasn't paying attention to many over whelming thoughts crossing my mind. Before I bumped into some one hard. knocking me to the soaking ground.

I sat up annoyed about to yell at the person. I looked up and saw a familiar boy with black hair sticking out at the ends with medium long strands hanging in his eyes but my view could see them. They were a turquoise. He had the same attractive features that I knew to well from that night.

An urge of anger went threw me as I stood up and stared Lock in the face. Why was **he** here?

He stared down at me being an inch taller then myself. Oh, hey Gareki. He said slowly as if we were friends.

The hell are you doing here. Don't tell me that you go here now? I glared a deathly look at him. He had caused so much to happen between me and Alex.

I **do** go here, I'm not new. He stated as if it was obvious.

That only made me glare at him harder. What are you?

He raised a black eyebrow. Senior. You?

Junior. I said plainly.

Hmm~. He hummed while crossing his arms in a cocky sort of way. You must be younger then me then, at the party I didn't really get your age. How old are you. He asked me slowly mocking me with a squint of his eyes.

Cut the crap! You don't need to know my age. I need to ask you something.

What ever. he shrugged looking up at the sky. But we're not talking out here. Follow me. he grabbed my wrist and started walking quickly.

The hell? I said annoyed as we both stepped into the building. I felt eyes all on me as we- or should I saw he dragged me to hall A-1 where his locker supposedly was.

Finally he let me go. I pulled my hood on tighter trying to conceal myself form the public eye as I heard the rumors come to life from those who had seen me.

I was in a living hell. I turned back to Lock as he did the combo to his locker.

Can't you do that any faster! I said annoyed and angry all at once.

Chill, what the heck's your problem. He said with a roll of his eyes. Shouldn't you be telling me what you wanted to ask of me?

It was my turn to roll my eyes. **Not** here! I hissed in a whisper- shout.

He sighed. Okay fine, just let me open my locker first. It would do you some good to stop being so angry ya know.

I crossed my arms and leaned against the lockers beside his and waited for what seemed like forever he finally opened his locker and grabbed the books that were needed.

After he closed his locker, I told him to follow me.

He questioned why but I just told him to hurry up ignoring his question.

Coming to the hallway that was needed I scanned it for anyone lurking and to my luck no one was but still I could still be careful.

"Come on."I said walking to a brown door with him following behind casually with his hands in his pockets as the book rested between his ribs and arm.

What is this about? He rose an eyebrow at me again as I opened the janitors closet and stepped inside my heart beating afraid some one might see us.

I was met by the same sour smell of cleaning supplies giving me deja vu' of the time Alex pulled me into a janitors closet.

Just come on. I held the door open.

"Hm. Oh I get it, you want to have sex with me don't you?"

I had to slap him. I just... had to.

Idiot! I grabbed his wrist and pulled him in shutting the door behind him. I sighed at the darkness surrounding us and pulled out my phone and turned on it's flash light. Darting the brightness in his face in which he turned away from me with a slight groan.

I could see the red hand markings from the hard slap I had just given him on the side of his cheek as he turned away.

Way to bright-

To bad! I interrupted. Now tell me something...

He turned back to me expectedly. "What?"

I need to know, did we have sex at the party last week. I asked in all seriousness.

"Of course we didn't." Why, did you hear it from all these rumors saying we did? He said in disbelief.

I frowned I guess he had heard the rumors to, it didn't surprise me but what di was what he had just said." What?!"

?We didn't do anything. "Maybe just kissed and touched a little but that was it. "Did you think I'd take advantage of you just because you were drunk?"

No! I said offended. I was drunk and I thought we had had sex, and that's what Alex thinks what we did.

"Wait, a minute...whose Alex? He cocked his head."

I sighed and shook my head." An ex boyfriend of mine. "But I still don't get it, what the hell was up with that text you sent me?"

He shrugged. I guarantee to you all we did was kiss and I touched you on your chest and you touched me on mine we didn't have sex. That text was nothing it was just an invite for us to be friends with benefits and me bragging on how good you felt last night.

I gaped at him not believing what I was hearing." Are you kidding?"

"I'm dead serious." He said honestly.

I sighed turning my eyes away from his only to turn them back after another question crossed my mind.

"Did you make me cum?" I said hesitantly noting the words he had said in the text about making me feel good.

"No, like I said, I only touched you on your chest and kissed you. You only moaned because you were under the influence of alcohol."

I ran a hand threw my hair in amazement. We hadn't had sex. So me and Alex had been wrong but then again there was the problem with Stormy. I still didn't want to face him after what I saw. So this was a fleeting spark of hope for us to get back together as if nothing happened.

"I made up my mind. We parted ways for a reason."

I looked towards Lock and asked with out thinking." You want to know how we broke up?"

He remained silent for a few seconds before nodding.

"It's a new girl named Stormy- she kissed him at the party or at least that's what Alex told me."

I looked up at him to see his reaction. I didn't know why I had expected him to have one but I just did.

He smirked which was odd. "Looks like my sister has your ex wrapped around her finger."

My eyes widened." What?"

But that was when the janitor door burst open with a bunch of teenagers on the other side with there phones raised up high.

And without warning flashes sparked in me and Locks surprised faces as the crowd took lasting photos of us. This wasn't going to end well.


	26. Anger

I tried to wrap my head around the fact that Stormy was lock's sister who was trying to get Alex to be her boyfriend.

I was in disbelief. But it did make sense they did look alike. Oddly enough I had already known about what she wanted to do with Alex.

I kept thinking about what Lock had said. Stormy had wrapped Alex around her finger...? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Were they together, I hoped not, and why was I caring so much if they were? I had already told myself I was threw with him.

Just as I was about to ask Lock more about it I had been cut off by the crowd of flashes sparking in my eyes in every direction. They pointed at me and Lock both of us blocking our faces as the flashes grew crazier by the second.

The sound of camera's snapping at each photo filled my ears none stop making my head spin growing dazed.

I managed to look threw the flashing cameras of people's phones to see a big crowd of students laughing and smiling at us. I heard the rumors come out of their mouths, each and every one was ridiculous and it bothered me more then anything.

I knew I wouldn't be able to handle all of this. The lies, there were to many for me to ignore like I had planned to do. My eyes widened and my breath was taken away from me as I became over whelmed.

I backed away, just a step. I was taken aback at how many people were in front of us. I hadn't been in such a big crowd like this in a while, I felt myself freak out growing closer to panicking all eyes were on us but it mostly felt like they were on me.

 _How did they know we had been in the janitors closet, I had made sure that no one had seen us_. I thought to myself trying to figure out all of this.

I continued to block my face with one arm.

I saw some people getting shoved out of the way as both Nai and D.C made there way threw the crowd towards me and Lock.

Gareki?! Nai yelled over the yells and laughs from the peers. But his voice was blocked out by the rumors filling my ears.

I shut my eyes tightly. It was to much and I couldn't take it! I pushed past the crowd and ran down the hallway leaving Nai, D.C and Lock to call after me with concern edged into their voices.

I didn't know where I was running to but I didn't stop my legs from moving in their sprint.

Everything was going in slow motion as I ran down the long hall way. My heart beating in my ears, as I pushed past more student who were in the hall getting books and supplies from their lockers.

Every ones eyes turned to me as I continued to run. I looked behind myself to see the crowd of students running after me phones held high as they continued to take pictures of me. Potentially trying to ruin my reputation. If I had one.

I turned down another hall and continued to run down that one. "Why were they chasing me?! They must have been crazy."

All of a sudden flashes were taken in front of me blinding my eyes causing me to slam into someone yet again that morning, I fell over landing hard on my side.

I was nauseated when I opened my eyes. People were blurred out and there voices were muffled but clearly talking loudly as they continued to take pictures of me on the ground.

"I turned my head upwards to see grey specked eyes staring down at me with surprise but I wasn't sure because the look he gave me quickly disappeared.

"Alex pushed himself back up to his feet seeing the large crowd take pictures of him as well." The rumors took over on him now.

The crowd started to yell Kiss, Kiss, Kiss!

And I nearly lost it. I didn't need the reminder that we weren't together anymore and now the stupid crowd kept bringing it up making me feel even worse about this morning.

I stayed on the ground only able to get up to my hands and knees still to sick feeling to stand up just yet.

What is going on here! Yelled a loud male voice belonging to the vice principal.

The crowd stood quiet in a matter of seconds as they all quickly dispersing from the hall to go to class which had already started five minutes ago. The vice principle went after them to make sure they would all go to class oblivious to the five of us still in the hallway.

Nai, D.C, Lock, and Alex stood in the hall way next to me as students walked past us whispering in hushed voices they laughter leaving the hall.

I clenched at the ground turning my hands into fists.

"Are you alright?"Asked D.C touching my shoulder.

I couldn't answer I was still to surprised at what had just happened. " **Why** was this happening?"

Come on. Nai said helping me to my feet with his arm under my shoulder, D.C kept her hand on my other shoulder reassuringly.

I tried to tell you not to go into the school just yet since I knew something like this would happen. Nai stated. He looked at me solemnly. One of his eyebrows furrowing.

I felt stupid. But the crowd of people **had** and **were** going to see me at some point. I couldn't stay hidden or wait till no one was watching. It had to happen sooner or later but I hadn't expected the rampage.

Alex?! D.C yelled suddenly.

Both me and Nai looked up to see Alex walking away down the hall with his hands in his pockets as if nothing had just happened- as if he hadn't seen me crash into him.

He turned around to face her. His eyes crossing me as if not noticing me. I clenched my jaw and before I could stop myself I yelled out angrily. I hope you're happy, we didn't have sex me or Lock, we were both wrong.

His eyes turned to me and squinted at me as his whole body turned now facing us. I saw something in his eyes even though his face showed distaste for me possible still mad about what I had said, His eyes showed relief and surprise. But even I knew he was still unsure to believe me. Just like I was of him.

We're threw Gareki, that's what you said. He sounded offended. You can't take away those words and even if you didn't have sex with Lock you two still kissed, I know you did.

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't lie, me and Lock had kissed and I couldn't take it back. The kiss had been real not forced apon like Alex had said had happened with Stormy.

"Why should I believe what you say when you didn't believe me?" His voice came out accusingly. It stabbed me threw my chest leaving me feeling wounded for what I had said to him last week. It was true I hadn't believed him when he explained it to me and truth was... I still couldn't bring myself to.

I looked at him scanning his face again this time I only saw anger...towards me. So the whole situation had turned on me. I didn't know what to feel. A part of me wanted him and the other part didn't.

Admit it Gareki." Alex said. You still don't believe what happened between me and Stormy do you? I want to know."

I looked away from him not being able to face him any longer. Truth was, I still didn't know what to believe what happened at the party my heart and mind was still taken over by hurt at what I had seen forcing me not to believe him.

Alex waited for my answer and when I didn't say anything in a matter of minutes.

In the corner of my eye I saw him shack his head. I knew you wouldn't. He sounded so betrayed even though his voice came out low I still heard it I really thought you had changed, but now I see that your still selfish, I want the other you back before all of **this** happened. His eyes met the ground as his jaw flexed before looking back up at me, The unmistakable intense look in his eyes was there and I hadn't missed the hurt and betrayal in them. His next words came out deep and I knew he wouldn't take them back. "We're threw remember that now." Don't talk to me again."

He turned away and headed for class leaving all of us in the middle of the hall to stare after him in shock. I felt...torn and angry at myself." Did I really have to react like that at the party?" If I had of just paid attention to what I was drinking then I wouldn't of become drunk when I had witnessed them kiss...and then maybe my mind wouldn't have pictured something different.

I swallowed hard sucking in my bottom lip, gripping a hold of the bottom of my shirt tenaciously. I held back the hurt that resurfaced from last weeks depression, I couldn't bring it back, I wouldn't let it take over me again.

Gareki? Lock said quietly, having been the first words he had said since the whole dispute between me and Alex.

My face was turned away from all three of them, my face was a prime image of misery at the moment and I didn't want any more people to witness how I felt.

Once I turned around I had gathered my composure and gave Lock a blank look as if I wasn't bothered by what just happened but I obviously still was on the inside.

His blue eyes searched mine as his face creased with sympathy. I had to admit it surprised me to see him acting so open with me while at the party he seemed so empty of emotion or maybe it was just a mistake my brain made once I drank to much.

I knew he saw right threw me. His dark eyebrows pinched together. Are you-

I need to go. I interrupted pushing past them and walking to class.

I ran a hand over my face feeling my insides falter with an unmistakable sadness. Was I really hoping for us to get back together even when I had told myself we were threw. I didn't want him breaking down my walls again but he had and now I was stuck feeling terrible.

This was the worst morning of my life and I had been threw some pretty bad ones.

* * *

All threw out the rest of the day I had been either fallowed, gossiped about, or taken photos of. If this was what celebrities went threw then I would hate to be them.

I hide my face most of the day with my hood up giving anyone the evil eye who stared at me for to long. They turned away or they would whisper something next to the person next to them and snicker about it. But I would have to take it off by the scolding of some of my teachers.

I sunk low in my seat wishing I wasn't here. But of course I needed to be since my mom wanted me to and I needed the grade.

When my last class rolled by from what seemed like an eternity of stares threw every period of class even lunch I had been threw I couldn't stand it any more.

Sinking down in my seat in chemistry I laid my head down on the table. People walked passed me staring as always, just now noticing me for those who didn't know me before since I had kept myself hidden from the crowd well they definitely did now.

Mr. Sholtz wasn't in the room yet which made people free to roam the class and chat to their friends. But oddly enough all of there phones were out buzzing away and they were laughing.

In my pocket I felt my own phone buzz. Picking it out I turned it on and was immediately met with a picture of me and my photo shopped naked body presumably belonging to an old man with a pair of boxers on next to Lock kissing him while it looked like he was touching my wrinkled body. The words on the photos read: I'm a dirty man whore.

"How had they done this?" I didn't know. But I definitely felt disgusted and offended about it.

Nice body Gareki. Said one of the classmates in a joking tone. Causing more fits of laughter to erupt from the class mates.

Mr. Shotlz still wasn't here but the bell hadn't sounded off yet.

I turned around to look at one of the students named Mathew. In the corner of my eye I could see Stormy looking at the photo and her face turned pale.

"What the heck?" She said freaked out by the photo of her own brother kissing me. She looked at me and glared.

You kissed my brother at the party?!

I ignored her and focused my eyes on Mathew.

Alex sat a few chairs ahead of him looking at me with concern. But I ignored him to. I was fed up with all of this now.

I felt my entire body grow hot with anger. I raised myself out of my seat slowly, taking off the hood part of my jacket as I did. I turned towards Mathew and his group of friends. About four of them sat on Mathews desk with there phones with the picture of me on all of them.

It didn't take a genius to know that Alex had the picture on his phone to as I saw it in the corner of my eye.

He pressed a delete button on it and tucked his phone away glaring up at me as my eyes still laid on Mathew and his friends.

Raising my phone up to his eye's view I asked. "Did you do this?!"

Mathew smirked. Don't get you panties in a twist!-

"I asked you a fucking question!" I snapped walking away from my seat. The whole class grew quiet at my sudden outburst.

He seemed unfazed by my angry tone. "So what if I did." He shrugged. "People like you disgust me and now other people will see you for who you truly are." It's about time that you show us who you truly are instead of hiding."

I put my phone down on the table and turned back to Mathew. I hadn't been this angry in so long and I needed to get rid of it now.

"So you did do it." I asked in a low voice. My black hair covered one of my eyes as I continued to glare at him.

"What do you think." He said with a smirk and a laugh.

That was a good enough answer for me.

Mathew hadn't seen me move as I punched him square in the face knocking him out cold on the floor.

People gasped, screamed, and yelled. But I tuned all of it out as Mathews four friends came after me.

My anger gave me the strength to fight. I ducked backwards as one of the guys threw a punch at me. Lifting myself back up I grabbed each side of his face and head butted him with my forehead sending him flying back on the floor same as Mathew's body. Knocked out.

I wasn't ready for the punch that took place on my left cheek sending my head flying to the right.

I picked myself up feeling something warm slide down my top and bottom lip. I dabbed a finger on the substance and brought it to my eyes to see red. It was my blood from my nose. This only made me angrier.

I whipped my head around just in time to dodge another punch from Mathews other friend. I pulled my self up on the table and pulled my legs into myself only to lurch them back out right in the guys midsection causing him to bend over where I landed a perfect hit on top of his head sending him further to the floor knocked out as well.

I looked up now only having to handle two more opponents.

I hoped down from the table feeling strong arms grab around me trying to stop me. But I shook them off and shoved the person.

I turned towards Alex laying on the ground staring shocked up at me. He had tried to hold me back.

Don't try to stop me!" I yelled down at him turning my eyes back onto the two guys still trying to fight me.

I cocked my head at them glaring daggers." So you still want to know what kind of person I am?"

I pulled down the black fingerless glove on my right hand as I asked them this it had almost slipped off during the scuffle. I still kept my eyes on them both.

They lunged for me causing more people to yell out for the fight to continue and some protested for us to stop.

What is the meaning of this?! Yelled Mr. Sholtz just now coming into the class right as I punched another one of Mathews friends in the face sending him back.

I knew I was in so much trouble. But did I care at the moment...No.


	27. Wishing For You

I was forced to sit down in the seat in front of vice principle Towers. But my anger was still taking over me. The security guard kept his strong hands on each of my shoulders pushing me back down in my seat ever so often as Mathew sat in the seat next to me.

One more punch to his face then I would send him back to his unconscious state! My jaw clenched together when I didn't get to punch him one more time like I had so desperately wanted to do at the moment.

Sit down! Gareki! Yelled Mr. Towers.

Mathew glared at me from his side of the security guard that was blocking my way to hitting him in the face once more. The guard forced me back down in my seat harshly after I had tried to get up in an attempt to reach Mathew.

I shoved the guards hands off of me and sat back in my seat with my arms crossed not taking my angry eyes off of the bastard who had caused all of what had happened to me today to start in the first place.

I wanted nothing more then to just punch his face in.

There was a fist sized red mark on his one cheek where I had landed a good hit on him on our way down here with the guard escorting us and of course that only made things worse for me. I knew I had caused more trouble for myself by doing that and I could only hope I had been suspended for a few weeks or a few months, either way would be a blessing. There was no way I wanted to be here, epically when all this crap was happening to me that I didn't want to be apart of any longer.

Mathew continued to glare at me and I did the same to him.

Mr. Towers cleared his throat getting our attention to turn and face him. My angry expression turned towards his reluctantly.

What is the meaning of you two getting into a fight? He asked with a serious unfaltering look on his face. It was as if he hadn't smiled in years with a face like that.

He over reacted-

Like hell! I interrupted Mathew.

Don't start! I am not in the mood to deal with two teenage boys who disrupted class. Now one of you best tell me what caused the two of you to fight? Mr. Towers order sternly once again.

Mathew gestured towards me with a finger. He overreacted to some stupid joke. It was only a maens to get him to open up a little and of course he of all people had to get all angry. This is why I dislike him he's-

That's a load of bull shit. I glared daggers at him while still in my seat arms folded to my chest.

Oh is it?! Mathew protested still pointing at me. Are you seriously upset that some people laugh and made jokes about you at some party!? What happened to the Gareki I knew that didn't care about shit or others!

I squinted my eyes dangerously at him. You **_don't_** know me. My voice came out deep and slow. I didn't even try to hide the anger I was feeling when I said those words. Don't even try to lie and say that you do.

Mathew was about to say more but Mr. Towers interrupted again.

That's enough! This is your last chance to explain what happened or else I will have you both in expelled. You're wasting my time.

I opened my mouth to intervene with explaining what **_actually_** happened, but Mathew stopped me in my sentence.

Gareki obviously has anger problems! He turned to face me and a smug smirk crossed his lips. And that's why he started that off the hook party last week that the entire school is talking about.

My eyes widened. _Was he serious! He was literally going to make up another lie about me something that was completely ridiculous._

That's it! I yelled slamming my hands on the desk as I abruptly stood from my chair. You're a fucking liar! None of the things that you say make since and you don't even have any proof that I started that party, I went because it was my friends birthday! You obviously heard it as another stupid rumor that's been flooding around this school about me! Get your facts strait before you accuse me of something that's obviously **not** true!

I turned to the vice principle and held up my phone and turned on the stupid post that had been texted to everyone in the school.

His eyes widened as he examined the photo shopped photo. I could see the reflection of the image in the mirrors of his squared glasses. What is this?! " He said accusingly.

Mathew made this." It's the only reason why the fight even happened." I stated firmly.

To say that Mr. Towers looked angry was an understatement. He stood from his office chair and faced Mathew. His face slowly growing red.

I never would have expected this from a top honor student like you. I'm **very** disappointed. Today on forward till next month I want you suspended. Don't think of showing yourself here again until it's over. He snapped. This is an illegal thing to do. You're practically cyber bullying. Next time I'll have you expelled if this happens again. Got it?!

I could see the angered look in Mathews eyes as he agreed reluctantly. My guess is that he was angered by the thought of me winning this fight between us.

I didn't get the fact of why he didn't like me, I had never done a thing to him nor did I even know him. Just like everyone had ignored me before all of this had happened I had equally ignored everyone else so I didn't understand how he had paid so much attention to me enough to dislike me. It wasn't like I cared.

Mr. Towers turned his sights back onto me."And as for you, In detention for two weeks."

I had to bite my tongue just to keep my mouth shut. I didn't like how he had handled us off like that. I should have gotten suspended instead of detention. I felt envious of Mathew's luck.

I didn't say another word instead I just let it be the way it was.

I don't want this to happen again. Mr. Towers said looking at both of us with warning in his voice. Now. Get out of my office.

Just as he had said that the bell rung dismissing school.

Me and Mathew exited the vice principle's office.

You'll regret this. Mathew muttered before turning and walking down one of the long hallways. I glared after him in annoyance.

Was he seriously mad at me over something he had caused in the first place. I sighed to myself and re-shouldered my back pack. Taking out my phone from my pocket I noticed I had a text from Nai.

I opened it up and read: I heard about what happened, Talk to me about it once I find you near the entrance doors to the student parking lot. Stay where you are. Ok?

I deleted the text only to see the post of me kissing Lock clearly photo shopped by the expertise of Mathew and his ass hole friends. I inhaled deeply holding it in as I deleted the eye sore picture getting the sight of it out of my mind **-** for now anyway.

I clicked my phone off and set it aside in my pocket and finally huffed out the breath I had been holding. For some reason I didn't feel the need to see Nai further more not even wanting to talk to him just this moment neither anyone else for that matter that I was acquainted with. I just wanted to be alone and have some time to think to myself or rather. . .just to get away from it all.

I looked up and shoved my hands into my hoodie after lifting the hood over my head in attempts to conceal myself as the halls grew crowded with teens eager to leave the building.

I began to walk down the hall like everyone else was, keeping my head low staring down at my feet trying not to reveal who I was or else they would all laugh and stare. This day had been more then I could handle, it was overwhelming and suffocating from all the attention I was getting. I didn't like it one bit.

I made my way to the bus parking lot where my bus was waiting for me but before I could step on the side walk I was called out by a familiar voice.

I groaned quietly before forcing myself to stop and turned around. Why had I done this? I didn't know but it was a stupid idea because I came face to face with Stormy. Whom the main person I definitely didn't want to talk to. I instantly felt angered all over again once my eyes met her face.

Her blue eyes showing a sort of distaste for me as I examined them. I blinked before turning my stance to face her.

What? I asked annoyed. "Don't tell me you've come to criticize me too?"

She rose an eyebrow before answering. No. I just want to talk to you. Her voice came out friendly enough but I knew she really didn't like me especially by the picture of me and her brother she had seen.

In which I was still a little miffed that Lock was her older brother.

I leaned my weight on one leg and replied flatly with disinterest looking at the passing students. Cut it out with the friendly tone, I already know what you as well as every one else thinks of me. I looked back at her. You hate me don't you or should I say dislike me?

She crossed her arms. I wouldn't say that I dislike you, it's more like...I'm not fond of you.

What's the difference? I shrugged.

I don't know you. She said after a few seconds of silence.

You think. Despite me trying to keep myself calm my angered voice edged into my words without me being able to stop them I furrowed my eyebrows at her with a hint of a glare in my eyes.

She held up her hands defensively. No need to get mad. listen you've been threw crap today, am I right?

"Yeah."

Then I'm not going to make it any worse for you-

You've already made it that way. I shook my head bitterly.

She gave me a questioned look. What are you talking about-

Alex Thorne, the guy you kissed the night of the party. I said affronted.

Her arms uncrossed over her chest and sagged down to her sides as she came to realization. Wait. . .Don't tell me. . .

You kissed my boyfriend. . . or who used to be my boyfriend. My eyes grew serious never leaving hers as I said those words. The more I thought about what had occurred last week at that exact time and night I couldn't help but to realize something.

I couldn't hide the bitterness in my voice as I continued. Now that I think about it, it's all your fault that we're not together anymore. You kissed him. . . I witnessed it. . . I got drunk because of seeing it and then I ended up with your brother, Lock. . . Alex found out and we fought. . . and wa la, we're not together anymore.

I can't believe I blamed D.C and Nai or myself for a break up like that. My voice sounded dumfounded.

You can't be serious- Stormy said before I interrupted.

Don't think I'm just blaming crap on you, Think about it and you'll realize that it was because of you. You're at fault, admit it. I turned away from her.

What ever you wanted to say consider it unheard by me. I'm done with this conversation. I walked away locked up in anger once again. But I stopped in my tracks to turn around to face her again.

We may not be together anymore but don't go near him. He's mine. I muttered the last part without any control over my voice. before walking away entirely.

* * *

I flicked the pencil at the wall once my phone buzzed loudly on the night stand near me.

Sitting up I turned it on and read the text message from Nai.

N: Where did you go?

G: I road the bus home. Sorry, didn't want to speak about what happened earlier.

N: Was it that bad?

G: Yes.

N: Did you get hurt? I heard there was a fight between you and some guy in your class.

G: I won it, for now at least. His name is Mathew and he's out for revenge against me. At least that what he says but I doubt he'll do anything.

N: Wow, did you guys get caught?

G: Of course, I have detention and Mathew has suspension.

N: Well you got lucky. At least your still in school.

G: Are U serious, it's more like bad luck then good. I have to deal with trash being talked about me each day now. How is that any where near lucky? To top it off I have to spend even more time in that school for two whole weeks after the dismiss bell rings. Which means I have to stay 2 hours longer.

N: My bad. It doesn't really sound good when U put it that way. That was uncalled for. You want me to pick you up tomorrow after your detention?

G: Yeah, that's fine. Speaking of uncalled for I don't know what to do about. . .Never mind, I don't know if I want to bring him up.

N: Alex?

I rolled my eyes at Nai's perfect guess before typing my response.

G: Yeah. . .

N: He was really mad and disappointed at you today. You guys should seriously make up already, for Christ sake it's been six days since you guys actually talked in a friendly way- or boyfriend sort of way.

G: We're not together any more Nai. Plus we'll never be like that again. I already know we won't.

N: I'm not sure I follow your logic. You guys have to make up. What happened at the party was a stupid mistake you can't let it end the two of you.

G: . . . I don't know.

N: Don't you believe him?. . . you know, about the whole kiss thing? He told me about it.

G: I want to but then again I don't. . . if that makes any since.

N: Your split in two aren't you? You don't know what to think because you believe in one thing but then you're still bothered by what happened.

G: Exactly. Strange how you know that.

N: I have my perks with figuring people out quickly. Any way, don't you still like him? If you do, then. . . shouldn't you **_trust_** him?

My fingers automatically paused as I was going to type my response, but then I read over Nai's text again and I found myself not being able to answer as quickly as I had done with my other texts.

That feeling came back to me. . .

The same feeling of being broken in two ways. What was my choice? I had already admitted it to myself that I still had feelings for Alex despite my words to never let him break down my walls again but then again could I really keep them up- were they still strong enough just to keep him from getting to me? The truth was. . . No, No they weren't.

I still had feelings for Alex and all that he had done for me proved something. He had told me he liked me in such an intense way like he would normally do when he was serious about something. I suddenly felt my hands shake and my fingers clenched onto my phone tightly. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes grew hot.

A strong feeling of sorrow swelled up inside me suddenly without me being able to stop it.

I sucked in my bottom lip. I made a mistake. I cried out quietly. The over whelming feeling broke and I felt hot tears cascade down my face.

". . . I'm an idiot." The words came out of my mouth sounding so shocked and disturbed by my sudden realization. Finally I had found out what was the truth. Why had it taken me so long just to notice he was telling the truth?!

 _You were hurt, you saw something you shouldn't have. . . the kiss that didn't belong to you but was with someone else._

My brain screamed at me the words and feelings I had felt once I saw the two of them in that hallway at D.C's house.

He would never cheat on me like that. My chest ached as I convulsed into crying. My hands ran up my face gripping into the scalp of my hair as I cried harder. A weep making itself known through my wet lips.

I clicked off my phone and threw it somewhere on my bed as I covered my face with my hands once more. I may have liked him still but there was no way he would still like me. . . after all I had done.

His angry and disappointed face appeared in my head as well as the scenes from earlier in the hallway when I had bumped into him came in flashes reminding me of my idiotic mistake.

* * *

"What have I done." I wiped my eyes for what seemed like a million tears had fallen out of them just from the hours I had spent in my room morning over my stupidity over the perfect boyfriend I had lost.

This wasn't like me but I didn't care. I had spent my life keeping the pain hidden and now it was my chance to let it free.

My room from what was once sunny from the evening was now darkening as night fell closer.

My face felt wet from the amount of crying I had just done. I moved my legs in which were stiff from the position I was in. I flipped on my lamp to brighten up my darkening room and flopped back down on my bed on my back side staring up at the sealing.

I left the message that Nai sent me unanswered. I didn't feel like talking to some one right now.

closing my eyes the memories of me and Alex's time spent together went threw my mind. Us kissing, laughing, crying, fighting, and talking was all what I wanted back. But I knew it wouldn't happen. I wrecked it badly, he didn't want to talk to me...ever. I had pushed him away and now he wanted nothing to do with me.

I subconsciously lifted my hand towards my face slowly and traced done my cheek with just my finger tips tracing over the wet tears still stricken over my cheeks and jawline before I came to my full lips and trailed my index finger over my bottom lip leaving the feeling there as if it were Alex kissing me all over again before I dropped my hand away tasting salt from the tears.

I wanted his lips against mine again. I didn't care how cheesy it sounded. I wanted him badly.

My eyes shut tightly feeling the sting of more tears coming but I led them away not wanting to feel even more somber then I already was.

I grabbed a hold of my phone to check the time only to see it was almost 8Pm. I decided to scroll threw my phone number list to get rid of the marathon of phone numbers that were some how added to my phone since the party last week.

I began constantly tapping on delete buttons of many names that I did not know or was acquainted with clearly. I scrolled down the list of people I did know planning to leave them there but it was then that I found Alex's number.

I stopped my finger from scrolling down the long lasting list and stared at his number not sure what my next course of action would or would not be.

I bit my lip frowning at his name before I forced myself to scroll past it and continue deleting more numbers of people I didn't know. I tried not to think about him but that didn't happen.

After being done with all of that I tucked away my phone and turned to lay on my side facing the far wall where Alex's electric guitar he had given me sat propped against the wall.

I stared at it for the longest of moments this time not taking my eyes away from it. Getting to my feet I walked over to it. Touching the neck of it with my finger tips. It was cold but that was to be expected since I hadn't touched it in a couple of days. Me avoiding to play it at all because of what happened between me and Alex. The fight.

I grabbed hold of the neck and picked it up from the ground before wrapping the neck band over my neck to have it hang in front of me before I placed my fingers in position along with the pick set in place I began to strum slowly hearing the sharp sounds of the electric guitar in my hands as I played.

I sighed as I came to realize how much I had missed the pleasing sound. It always made me feel better after a rough day and in this case I had had a completely rough day.

I played for 15 minutes before I heard the front door down stairs open and the clicking of heals against the hard wood. I guess they belong to my mom.

I stopped mid strum to hear my mothers voice talking to someone. I rose an eyebrow curiously but that was when I heard Jared's voice.

I think it's time for you to meet him personally. My mother instructed as the sound of plastic bags rustled onto the marble counter tops down stairs. It's been two weeks that you two haven't introduced yourselves. You have to admit that's bad manners.

Jared didn't say anything for a few seconds and I hoped he would have shaken his head meaning a no that I absolutely did not want to meet him personally but his voice came threw.

I think it is time for us to meet. But I have the feeling he isn't all that excited to meet _ **me.**_

None since. I heard the echoing of my mothers high heels clicking by the stairs before they came to a stop and she called up for me. "Gareki?! Get down here!"

I couldn't stop the profanity that came threw my lips. I still wasn't to fond of Jared. More though I didn't trust him entirely.


	28. Unexspected Kiss

My foot touched the bottom of the stair case as I came down to the kitchen. I stopped mid step to look at the dinner table to see Jared sitting in one of the chairs, staring back at me.

I squinted my eyes distastefully at him before averting my them away from his to meet my mother's gaze.

She gave me a knowing look with a raised eyebrow before saying in a low voice. "Give him a chance."

"Seriously?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes". She said urgently. "What's the problem he isn't a bad person Gareki, okay? Trust me." She genuinely sounded as if she really wanted me to get to know him. But I still found myself not wanting to be bothered by introductions.

I pursed my lips into a thin line giving her a hard look.

But of course being my mother she was persistent. She gave me the same look making me scowl and roll my eyes to look the other way.

"Don't be like that." She said sincerely. What is there to lose? He really wants to meet you and here you are being rude.

Mom! I whisper shouted. Did she seriously not understand what happened three weeks ago with that lunatic of a husband she had. I couldn't believe she was acting so care free as if nothing had happened.

Despite the things that I had been threw within these three weeks I couldn't forget, even though I hadn't had a nightmare for a few nights I still couldn't fully forget what he had done to me and threatened to do to her. I wasn't going to let something like that happen again. My father had made a mistake and I wasn't going to let it happen again with another man.

Please, Gareki. She muttered grabbing hold of my hand. She looked at me with her blue eyes silently telling me to do this for her.

I understand what he did to you. . . But Jared is way more different from your father. He treats me differently, and if you give him a chance he'll treat you differently to.

I stared at her for a few more seconds. She really wanted me to do this. . . I guess I wouldn't have a choice but to go threw with it. I sighed. Alright, I'll do it.

She smiled immediately her frown turning into a bright grin. Great! I'm going to need you to help me unpack the groceries and we'll see how this dinner goes. Okay?

I nodded following her into the kitchen. I looked down at the bags of groceries and began to unpack vegetables and pasta noodles. my guess would be we were going to be eating some kind of pasta dish for dinner tonight.

I'll be back in a sec, just need to take off these heels. Ok? My mother said walking up beside me.

I quickly turned towards her my face shocked that she was leaving me with Jared so quickly. I had just stepped in to greeting myself and she was literally leaving **now**?

Don't say anything rude. She whispered in advice before clicking up the stairs with her work bags and heels. I watched her dark magenta hair disappear from view.

The kitchen went quiet quickly. A little **to** quickly. I wasn't usually bothered by awkward silence but this time surprisingly I was finding this atmosphere awkward for myself and Jared. The feeling washed over me making me uncomfortable, the emotion I hadn't felt in months had finally resurfaced, and I had to say I wasn't glad it was back.

Your mother has told me a lot about you. Jared spoke breaking the silence. His voice was soft but deep at the same time. Oddly enough it edged off some of the awkwardness I was feeling.

I looked up at him from the corner of my eye. Some of my fringe hanging in front of my eyes as I did this.

I saw a slight smile on his lips as he continued to look at me. I couldn't say anything or rather I was speechless, I was to busy examining his features. Out of all the times I had seen him I hadn't taken a long enough look to examine his entire face.

From my own opinion Jared wasn't bad looking, to be honest he was handsome with a short beard of growing hair on the jawlines of his face as well as his upper lip and bottom. Well groomed black hair with piercing green eyes. He was around the age of his 30's was what I heard my mother talk about on the phone one night but he didn't look as old to me, almost fairly young.

He was well toned in the white button up shirt with a black tie he was currently wearing, which made me believe he worked out in some sort of gym, by the looks of his strong biceps and chest.

I blinked in surprise.

He cocked his head at me oddly and I looked away figuring out I had been staring for way to long.

I'm sure she's told you a lot about me? He continued calmly once I hadn't answered right away. He wasn't bothered by my silence it seemed.

I took in a breath before answering finally. "I've heard her say things. Yeah."

In the corner of my eye I saw the smile on his lips grow. He was surprised that I had actually said words to him, I supposed.

I continued to take things out of the bag while still looking at him from the corner of my eye. He caught me staring.

I bet you're surprised to see me here again. He stated.

I turned and looked at him surprised that he had caught that from me.

. . . I am, but not so much anymore. I furrowed my eyebrows. But my mom really likes you so. . .I'm not that surprised that your here often.

She's safe with me. He said suddenly, his voice changing to serious. You are too. She told me about what happened- if you don't mind me saying.

I figured she had to tell you what I had gone threw, so don't worry about it. There's not a day that it doesn't cross my mind. I grabbed one of the bags and threw it away before taking a seat at the bar in one of the high chairs not feeling the need just yet to sit at the dinner table with Jared.

What was taking mom so long to come down the stairs? I wasn't sure I could keep up this. . .small talk with her new boyfriend. Or were they even together like that?

I leaned my chin against my hand turning to face Jared with a serious expression. "My mom says that you're different from my father, but are you?" My voice came out accusingly. Not what I had expected but I couldn't take it back since I had already said it.

Jared was caught off guard by my seriousness telling by the small surprised look he gave me. But just as it had come it disappeared quickly.

If you compare me to your father then you're making a huge mistake. He said. She's told me a lot about him and what he has done and I have no intentions of doing anything as to what he has done to you or said about your mother. You can trust me.

That was all the questions I had to ask for the moment. The words he had said left me speechless. I thought about his response to me, not being able to get it out of my head all the way until it was time for me to go to bed. But did I sleep. No. Not yet at least.

Dinner had gone by quickly me not talking being to caught up in thought even though my Mom wanted me to say something not just eat the pasta she had made. But I couldn't so she left me alone and continued conversation with Jared.

My room was eerie silent. It was dark.

I laid on my back staring up at the sealing- well most of it. My room was more darker making me blind to see what was all around me except for the light streaming from under my door from the hallway.

I turned on my side looking at my alarm clock for the time. 12:05AM. I blinked at it before turning back onto my backside feeling restless.

What was my choice now? Could I trust him or not? Jared wasn't a bad guy, right?

My mom seamed to like him, but I had my doubts. I felt oddly comfortable around him but still I couldn't let down my guard just yet.

Out in the hallway I heard footsteps climbing the stairs. I felt my heart pick up in it's pace.

I frowned to myself. That was right. . . I hadn't gotten over the fact that my dad used to climb the stairs in the middle of the night. I was always afraid he would come to my room while I was sleeping and potentially beat me. I guess that fear hadn't vanished.

It was then that I heard a female voice but it belonged to my mother which calmed my nerve just a little. Jared's voice came after hers in reply before I heard a door close. I presumed it belonged to my mother's room.

I closed my eyes realizing that Jared never left after dinner. I wondered if he did that often when he was here visiting my mom.

Sighing I covered my eyes with my forearm drifting slowly to sleep. Only to be welcomed by a nightmare I hadn't suspected to come tonight.

 **I quickly snapped** **my eyes open just as my breath hitched in my throat. I sat up, looking around myself.**

 **My world around me was red except for the dark woods that stood tall all around me, caging me in. I took a step forward, the leaves crunched beneath my feet.**

 **I looked down at myself. I was** **wearing a black sleeveless shirt and jeans with average converses. But the difference was my clothes were ripped in places I clearly hadn't made myself.**

 **I trailed my hand over my bicep feeling a sharp pain on my arm. I pulled my hand away to look at my now blood covered hand.**

 **My eyes widened in shock. What had happened to me?!**

 **A cold breeze blew past me, ruffling the strands of black hair away from my face.**

 **The woods were still and quiet. Way to quiet for my beating heart to stop racing in my chest. Why was I in such a panic when nothing was happening?**

 **I breathed out cold air from my mouth gazing further around myself before I heard a loud siren ring off threw the quiet.**

 **I instinctively jumped spinning around to where the siren came from only to see strange pitch black men. They were darkly dressed in all black from head to toe. They had their faces covered with dark masks so I couldn't identify them.**

 **I took one step back once I saw all five of them face me, they just stood there unmoving staring strait at me even if they had no eyes I could just tell they were looking at me.**

 **The sky was still a dark red and everything was still dark but the shining glint of something in all of their hands caught my eyes.**

 **I looked closer only to notice the sharpness of the medal before it was raised towards me, pointing strait at my chest.**

 **I gasped, flinching at the quick movement.**

 **I bet you thought I was gone. . .didn't you? Said one of them stepping forward with the knife still held high to my chest.**

 **No. My voice trembled in disbelief as my eyes grew bigger. I knew that voice! But what was he doing here?! He wasn't supposed to be here! Not from jail!**

 **You're surprised, aren't you? He whispered trailing the cold blade over my cheek lightly. I was frozen in place.**

 **What are you. . .**

 **What am I doing here? He finished for me.**

 **I could only nod.**

 **Why, I'm here to kill you of course. You broke our deal. . .remember? He came closer to me. I'm coming back for you and your mother.**

 **I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head before shoving him away. NO! Stay away!**

 **He laughed while pointing the knife at me again. Now would be the time to run.**

 **I was suddenly released from being frozen and I turned and ran as quickly as I could. Breathing hard in a panic as I pushed aside naked branches and weeds.**

 **I heard them charging after me. The sharp cutting sounds of knives scrapping against one another followed close behind me as I continued to run.**

 **I felt my legs growing weaker from the panic and I soon tripped and fell falling into blood red water that had come out of no where.**

The splash woke me and I lurched upwards from under the water in the tub gasping a huge intake of air for breathe.

I blinked my eyes open, the water soaked my hair as it drooped in my eyes. I gripped the sides of the tub once I had come up from under the water.

What was I doing with my head under the water in the first place?! And when did I get in the tub?!

Questions raised themselves in my head unanswered.

I pushed my hair back away from my eyes just as I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

My mom not giving me a chance to answer pocked her head in.

Mom?! I snapped covering my naked body with the curtain.

"Sorry! "I just wanted to know if you were okay, it's almost time for you to leave for school. When did you get up? You've been in here for a while." She stated with concern edged into her voice.

I. . .I don't know. I answered truthfully.

Are you okay? She asked again. I heard her step into the bathroom causing me to be on edge.

Mom! I'm fine. Just give me privacy. I said pulling at the curtains making sure no part of my body was showing.

Right, I'm sorry. Just checking. But hurry okay, you leave in a few minutes.

Alright. I answered hearing the door click shut. I groaned. I must have slept walked into the bathtub while having my nightmare.

I stood in front of my bed room mirror staring at myself in the eyes. Fully dressed and ready for the next day of school which I wasn't prepared to go back to.

That wasn't normal. The nightmare. It wasn't normal at all. Not saying that any of my dreams had ever been normal but this one stuck out to me. I couldn't stop thinking about what my dad had said to me.

He was coming back for me and my mother. No he wasn't, he was locked up. There was no way he was coming back. at least I hoped.

My pale hands clenched into fists making the new cut on my wrist spark up with pain. But I was used to the feeling of cuts now.

I know what you might be thinking. That I cut myself again, but no the truth was I had woken up like this. A cut was on my fore arm it wasn't deep but it was noticeable but at this rate I didn't much care if people would see it or not. I had way more to worry about then just a stupid mysterious cut.

I looked down at my white sleeveless skull T shirt and dark ripped skinny jeans with Converse.

I raised both of my hands covered with black fingerless gloves wondering if I had any other sudden injuries that couldn't be explained.

I blinked slowly before dropping both of them down to my sides. I looked down.

I suddenly felt overwhelmed with the feeling of missing Alex again. Just like I had done last night.

I had broken down completely not expecting myself to cry that much. What was I going to do? could I admit to him that I believed him now for what he hadn't done at the party?

I should do that. I muttered to myself. I just hope he gives me a chance to say it.

On my bed my phone vibrated loudly against the covers. Picking it up I turned it on and read the text from Nai.

"I'm outside." It said.

"Ok." I replied back before turning it off and tucking it away in my jeans.

I shouldered my back pack before grabbing my guitar case and walked out of my bed room closing the door behind me before turning around to meet face to face with Jared.

He paused mid step down the stairs before turned to face me concern on his face. He gave me a worried look. I heard you. . . last night.

My eyes widened in realization at what he had heard. Uh. . .

You were screaming but your mother told me it was natural for you since you have nightmares. Are you alright?

How about you mind your business. I found myself saying with a serious edge in my voice.

Jared looked at me surprised.

My jaw clenched and I shoved past him and stomped down the stairs before walking quickly past my mother and out the door.

I sighed feeling the air return back to me. I hadn't meant to snap like that but I was currently feeling overwhelmed with how many things were happening all at once.

I heard a honk from Nai's car as he waved me over.

I stepped away from the porch only to feel the breeze pick up. I looked up at the sky to see grey clouds moving in. It was going to rain latter on.

I sat down in the passenger seat in Nai's car saying hey to D.C who was sitting in the back again.

"Hey." she responded.

I closed the door before putting on the seat belt.

Nai turned to me. "What happened last night?"

I rose an eyebrow and looked at him. "What?"

You stopped texting me suddenly. "Did I say something wrong?"

No. I just got caught up in what you said to me. I said to him quietly remembering exactly how I had reacted to his text.

Oh. He said beginning to drive up the street. I meant what I said. About you needing to trust Alex.

Yeah. I know.

"Have you figured it out yet? Do you believe him?" He asked.

Yeah. I do. I leaned my head against the back of my hand. I'm planning on talking to him today.

I don't know, will he talk to you because last time he didn't want you to speak to him ever again. D.C said butting into the conversation.

I sighed. I hope he'll let me explain.

What about that kiss with Lock, will he forgive you for that? Nai asked.

I didn't answer right away. I hadn't even thought about the scenario, it hadn't crossed my mind until Nai brought it up.

But he was right though. So what if I explained to Alex that I believed him from what had actually happened at the party, but the question was, will he forgive me for kissing another guy intentionally when he hadn't actually meant for Stormy to kiss him?

I had no idea and I honestly felt miserable from just the thought of his words he said to me yesterday. But despite all that I had to talk to him about it.

I hope so. I finally answered Nai's question.

After pulling up at the school in the students parking lot I stared out the window.

I'll see you guys later. Said D.C exiting the car and closing the door behind herself.

Yeah. I muttered.

Okay. Nai said.

"You still picking me up after detention today?" I asked suddenly.

Yeah. I mean hopefully nothing will come up on my schedule. Nai said looking at me with his one eye.

I stared at him.

His eye looked from the left and to the right before sliding back to ? he frowned.

Sorry. I looked away before answering. I was just wondering what the other half of your face look's like?

He blinked at me before turning away to look out the front window. That's. . .uh.

It's weird and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked it's really none of my business-

No. It's okay. I get that question a lot from people. He muttered looking down.

I furrowed my eyebrows together feeling guilty for his sudden down mood. I shouldn't have said anything.

It's fine. He told me.

We both went silent after that.

"Do you wanna know. . ." He said quietly raising a hand up to his long white fringe hanging over his hidden eye. "What's under here?"

I turned to him my eyes showing curiosity but I hesitated to say anything.

It's fine you know. I can tell you the story. He continued in a slow quiet voice.

 _Why was he acting so strangely now?_ I thought _._

Um, Nai?

Gareki I'm serious, it's fine. He said.

I stared at him.

"Do you want to see it?" he asked again.

. . .Y-yeah. I stuttered not taking my eyes from his one.

Having that said Nai positioned his hand by his nose and slowly slid the long white strands of hair away from his right eye only to reveal an eye patch, a white one at that.

At first I thought that was all he was going to show me but then he moved his fingers towards the patch and began to remove it.

I gasped my eyes growing wider at the sight of the long red scar running across the flesh of Nai's closed and sewn together eyelids. It was a freaky sight that I hadn't been prepared for.

Holy shit. . .what happened to you? I asked in shock.

Nai stared at me with his good eye before closing it and repositioned the eye patch back over his scared right eye and returned his long white strands of hair over it before reopening his left eye.

It happened five years ago when I used to live with my Uncle. He never really liked me all that much. He claimed to say that I wasn't supposed to be born that I was a mistake his sister had made. But he was drunk all the time which made him do crazy things. I was lucky enough to be at the age to know how to take care of myself enough to eat everyday but of course I still had to live with him since my parents weren't exactly at terms with money to take care of me yet.

Anyway, My uncle disliked any thing that I did for myself. He often punished me. Nai shrugged while looking down. I think he did it out of fun or some times he really was drunk. But one day he went to far and drove an entire fork threw my eye. I almost died from blood lose but I had the house phone in my hands when it happened and I was able to call some one for help before he knocked me unconscious. The next thing I knew I was in a hospital where they diagnosed me with being blind in one eye where it could never be repaired. So now. . .I have to live with this eye patch over my eye hiding it from view because I don't want the attention, as for my uncle he was put in jail but after he was released he ran off to a different state and left me here with my parents who now have there minds set correctly on money paying for me.

I stared at him wide eyed frozen in my seat. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

It's true that we've all been threw rough times with our families so you're not the only one Gareki. Nai said.

That's crazy. I never knew it was like that. I said sincerely.

You're the first person I've showed this too. I never thought I'd do that. Nai said.

I nodded still in surprise. I was caught up in his story thinking about what he had been threw the whole time with his uncle a member of his family that actually wanted to harm him in such a horrible way.

So in exchange. . .Nai said suddenly catching me out of my thoughts. I smirk making it's way to his lips

He looked at me seriously making me confused.

Leaning over he continued to look at me this way. In exchange I want to know. . .how this feels. He grabbed my face and tilted it upwards just as his lips met my own.

I gasped again unknowingly allowing him to enter my mouth with his tongue. His own dancing with mine.

Mmm- Nai! Stop. I pushed him off and stared at him as I breathed hard in surprise. What are you doing!?

He stared at me in shock before he snapped out of it. Oh my God! I'm sorry. I had no idea- that wasn't my intention-

Then why did you kiss me! I snapped.

He ran a hand threw his hair and groaned. I'm so sorry. I was just curious to what it felt like to kiss you. I thought this was a perfect moment.

Nai! You just can't do that! I snapped again. We're friends and plus Alex-

I know! I know. You like Alex! I totally didn't mean to do that. I just got caught up in the moment.

What moment?! you were just telling me about your abusive uncle how is that a moment to be kissing on me!

I don't know! I apologize. He shook his head.

I can't believe you just did that. Please don't tell me you have. . .

Nai quickly turned back to me. NO! it's not like that.I don't have feelings for you. Just act like this didn't happen.

"Yeah." I said sighing. I should get going. We're still friends but, please don't do **that** again.

Right. Nai said his face turning red.

I got out of the car grabbing my things with me on my way inside. Ready as I'll ever be to hear the schools gossip about me once again.


	29. Do You Believe Me now?

The day went by pretty much the same as yesterday. I had tried to sneak around trying to not be seen by many people but they would always catch me and start laughing it up all over again. I began to wonder if this would be how every day went for me? I sure as hell hoped not.

English lit went by quickly and strangely enough I hadn't seen Alex who sat right next to me in that class that morning. I hoped he wasn't home sick or maybe he just didn't want to come to school because he knew I'd be here but I knew that wasn't likely. After all Alex wasn't a blow off sort of guy he always came to school which explained his good grades and attendance. Why would he change that now all because of me?

I stepped into band class and looked around noticing no one was in yet.

I sat down my things just as something caught my eye. I looked up to see a brand new grand piano in the far corner.

I stared at it in surprise. I hadn't expected the school to upgrade the band room with this.

I walked over to it. Looking at the black wood of it's well built structure.

I slowly lifted up it's lid over the keys and ran my pale finger tips across them before I pressed down on a few creating a slow melody. I hadn't had much experience with a piano but I had taken lesson back in grade school and some of those lessons stuck with me.

I sat down on the black stool and put my fingers in correct key order before pressing down on a few creating another soft melody.

I heard some one clear their throat making me stop abruptly. I slowly turned to look up at Stormy looking down at me.

I blinked up at her and rolled my eyes before turning to face her with the rest of my body. I take it you didn't take my hint of **don't bother talking to me again.**

I did, but this is important. She said calmly. Something I didn't get to say last time we spoke.

In the corner of my eye I saw the rest of the class entering the room before I turned my full attention back onto Stormy.

Alright, spill it then. I suggested turning myself back around to continue playing the piano not faltering in my finger play not once, just like I did with my guitar.

She leaned down towards me and whispered. I understand that Alex is yours but if I can't have him since he's into guys then you're going to stay away from Lock. Got it?

My fingers stopped and a smirk found it's way onto my lips as I turned to look at her. "You honestly think that me and your brother have something for one another?"

She shrugged. Well I don't know, the rumors are going around that you two have been together and what about that picture of you two kissing? If that's not enough proof that does say you guys have a thing for each other then nothing does.

Nothing does. I responded flatly. If you remember what I told you yesterday then you would understand the purpose of me kissing your brother like that. It was your fault.

Ok! ok. She snapped. Just don't get close to him anymore.

Wasn't planning on it. I stood up and walked over to my seat on the steps. Feeling Stormy's annoyed eyes on my back.

I looked behind myself for Alex but still found that he wasn't there. I turned back around trying to distract myself with the teachers lecture but I found myself feeling unmotivated. Was Alex seriously not here today?

* * *

I wrote down the last words on my homework finally finished with all of it before putting away my binder. I looked to the clock in detention hall I only had twenty minutes of being here left.

I sighed and flicked my pencil up my desk only to have it roll back down to me. I was bored and feeling somber.

Alex hadn't been here at all today which meant I hadn't gotten the words off my chest that I so desperately wanted to say to him right now. It was only causing a huge weight to be on my shoulders.

The day had already been annoying thanks to the new gossip of me getting myself into a fight yesterday had spread from class to class all over the school. I didn't try to deny anything or let their words affect me like it had done yesterday when I all out panicked.

People of course still took pictures of me, to what they did with them I had no clue but I could only guess they were going to photo shop them all in a means to embarrass me or to see what kinds of emotions I had just like Mathew had tried to find out yesterday by doing what he did to me.

Fuck my life. I muttered looking out the window at the clouded sky it had pored down a little earlier but the real rain was about to come down a lot more harder telling by the darkening sky.

A moment passed with the few student who were stuck in detention. Counting myself there were a total of four students in this very room with me.

I looked up at the clock again and saw that I only had ten more minutes in here. Thank god. I said silently. I eyed Mr. Cosgrove at his desk grading papers to busy to realize what was happening around him.

I sat back in my seat still feeling bored to death. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I quickly held onto it to stop the loud noise. Mr. Cosgrove didn't move from his grading position. His back still turned towards me.

I rolled my eyes and turned on my phone to read the new message Nai sent me. The remembrance of what had happened this morning came back to me and I blushed.

I had no idea he had wanted to kiss me that badly. We had talked in band class as if nothing happened and I planned to keep it that way. Both of us promising not to tell anyone that it happened.

I read over the message: Sorry. Something came up with my parents I won't be able to drive you home.

Disbelief washed over me. Was he serious? My house was far from the school definitely not within walking distance. What was I going to do? I texted him back.

Is it going to be long?

Yeah. We got called in to the hospital for my grandma it's pretty serious we're waiting for details on her surgery. I'm really sorry. I hope you have another way of getting home.

I sighed quietly and looked at the students in detention hall with me. No doubt they were all Freshmen which meant they didn't have permits to drive yet.

I seriously needed my own car I had no idea why my mom had thought it was a bad idea to get me a car because she suspected I'd be bad at driving or wasn't prepared even though I was already seven-teen.

I didn't know what she was thinking at the time but I'm plenty ready for driving. I texted Nai back.

I'll think of something.

I tucked away my phone just as Mr. Cosgrove turned around and looked at the clock. You're all dismissed.

Everyone got up from their seats and so did I and exited the room glad to be out of their but now I needed a way to get home.

Mom was still at work and Jared and her both worked the same job so I couldn't bother them, plus their work building was even farther then the house itself.

Just my luck. I muttered sarcastically shrugging on my backpack and walked out side to the hot breeze of the rain that was about to poor down.

I looked over and saw a medal bench that I could sit on to think. It was on the side of the building. I walked over to it staring at the brick wall of the school that had no windows on this side of it's structure which I found to be. . . weird.

Finally coming over to the bench I took off my back pack and sat it down on the bench only to be hit in the back of the head with a hard object.

I fell forward landing on the grass hard. I opened my eyes to see Mathew;s three friends standing over me. I believed their names were Adam, Richard, and Chris.

Ah Shit. I muttered in annoyance.

They had really gotten a good hit on me, my head hurt like hell, I was surprised I wasn't unconscious by now.

So this is what we were up against yesterday. Adam said having a stupid grin on his face.

You think you can get away with getting Mathew expelled? Guess again. said Chris threating me.

I slowly got up to my feet and wiped my mouth. I smirked and looked at all three of them. What are all three of you going to do about it, he was asking for it and besides I can easily kick all of your asses again so don't tempt me.

You speak all talk but lets not forget it's three on one. Richard added even though I had beat all of them alone in class yesterday.

Okay. I rose an eyebrow. With that said I aimed a punch at Adams face hitting him just as I had wanted. He flew backwards and landed on his back.

Both Richard and Chris came after me. But just as I was about to move out of the way My head ached causing me to falter in my foot steps.

Both of them punched me in the stomach making me fall to the ground hard once again.

 _What was wrong with me?_

I felt wet drops fall onto my face noticing that the rain had finally come poring down. My head hurt even more only causing me to stay on the ground not bothering to get to my feet.

The boy named Richard yanked me up and shoved me against the brick wall delivering a punch to my face before pulling back.

I opened my eyes clenching my jaw at the pain and glared at all of them. My body seriously wasn't listening to me. I couldn't move like I wanted.

Adam stood up and gave me an angry look before pulling out a pocket knife making me clench my jaws tighter. Was he crazy?!

So fast the blade scratched over my face I hadn't even seen it move.

I my face flew to the side from the force making blood droplets fly. I felt a hard kick hit my side making me fall to the left but quickly yanked back up by the back of my shirt just as another cut was delivered to my arms and my side.

I wanted to scream but I couldn't my mouth stayed closed and I fell to the ground. feeling the rain droplets fall down my pale cheek before I was punched again.

But this time I blocked one of their hits and punched him right back sending him back a step before he came running back and shoved me to the wall hard with his elbow in my gut.

The air was taken out of me and I felt the sting of the knife slide against my chest cutting me across my flesh and ripping my shirt in the process.

Gareki! I heard someone call my name but I wasn't sure who it was. I looked up only to see red and figures fighting. The red one was winning.

He fought in fast movements ducking when needed to and punching when defending himself.

I saw all three of Mathews friends run away as one was left unconscious on the ground.

the boy with red hair crouched down and grabbed Adam by his shirt collar. Don't let me catch you doing this shit again or else I will hit you way worse then I just did.

Adam shoved the boy away before running off as quickly as he could. The boy turned to me. My vision returned from being blurry to notice the boy was Alex.

He examined me shock coming over his features. Gareki?

His voice grew farther away as my head ached more.

Alex? I muttered weakly my eyes beginning to close shut before my legs gave way and I slid down the wall falling unconscious. The sound of my body hitting the ground sounded off threw my ears. Before I let my mind give way to darkness.

 **The world around me was dark and the sky was red just like it had been before.**

 **My eyes scanned my surroundings. I realized now that I was back in my nightmare. . .with Him.**

 **My breath hitched as I heard the sounds of knives scrapping against each other coming closer to me. Loud footsteps ran my way ad I couldn't move.**

 **No. . .no. . .NOO!**

My eyes snapped open looking from my left and right in a panic. I sat up with a start emitting a small yelp from my throat.

My breath came out in pants and I could feel a cold sweat on my chest. I looked closely at my surroundings. A bed room? Posters, A guitar in the corner?

Was I in. . . Alex's bedroom. I reached up to my head slowly and felt thick bandages wrapped around my forehead. I swallowed hard remembering what happened before I fell unconscious. He had saved me.

I blinked a few times before noticing a cold air drift pass me. I looked down at myself and noticed I wasn't wearing my T shirt. My lean naked chest stared back at me with wrapped bandages on the cuts I had got from the pocket knife. Did he patch me up?

The door besides me opened to reveal Alex walking into the room before shutting the door behind himself.

I looked at him and he looked at me. He stopped in his pace and turned towards me before crouching down.

His face was expressionless but his eyes were serious. No doubt he still thought of me as selfish for what I had said.

I couldn't look at him any longer so I turned away.

"How are you feeling?" he suddenly asked in an emotionless tone.

Fine, thanks-

 **Don't. . .** thank me. He said in all seriousness. I looked back at him in concern.

Why-

Lets not forget what you've done. He said accusingly.

I didn't know how to respond but I found the words to at least say something.

You helped me.

And I already regret it. He said coldly.

Then why did you do it in the first place? I snapped back not meaning to.

I couldn't just walk by and not do anything. Alex stated still with a serious look on his face. His eyes staring back at me angrily. Don't think just because I helped you we're okay, I still can't get what you did out of my head.

That look he gave bit at me making me falter. It hurt more then anything. The words he had just said made me want to crawl away in disbelief. He didn't mean it. Right?

You don't mean that! I said shaking my head slowly. A frown evident on my face.

I **do**. You're the one who chose this Gareki , not me. His words were so cold that it felt like he had no ounce of emotion towards me.

I sat there in silence not knowing what to say. Could I admit what I wanted to tell him all day with him acting like this?

In the corner of my eye I saw Alex stand up. I think it's time for you to leave. My T shirt plopped down in my lap and that made me snap out of silence. I quickly looked up at him.

Please, you don't have to do this. I said quietly near tears.

Alex turned towards me and shook his head. I can't handle this with you. You made it clear that we weren't together anymore.

No! I said loudly practically begging. I take it back! I'm sorry! I made a mistake!

Alex stared at me in silence before shaking his head again with a scowl. Now you know how I felt when you wouldn't let me explain.

My eyes stung from that moment of stupidity from me. I was stupid Alex. I struggled the words out of my clamped throat as warm tears began to drop down my face.

Please. . . I don't want to be with out you anymore. I shook my head. Not like this.

Gareki-

Don't say anything. I looked up at him seriously even though my eyes were leaking tears. Me and Lock had **nothing,** if you're hearing rumors at school then don't believe them unless you hear it from me.

You may have given up on me but I'll be damned if this is the end. I've been threw shit and I'm not going to let the only good thing in my life leave all because of some stupid mistake! I shouted every word getting louder as I spoke. I breathed out panting from my outburst.

Your lucky my parents aren't home hearing you yell like that. Alex stated before crouching down in front of me. Gareki, you need to leave.

Did you not hear what I just said?! I asked in shock.

I did, but how can you expect us to be together for all that's happened.

I meant what I said.

So do I. It's to late. Alex said firmly.

I took in breath to calm myself down. He needed to listen and I needed some way for him too.

You can't tell me that. I muttered loud enough for him to hear. Admit it you still have feelings for me, don't you?!

Why would I-

Answer the question! I snapped interrupting him. We were both practically yelling in each others faces now.

Fine! Yes! I do! Is that what you wanted! He snapped back.

I stopped yelling mainly because I couldn't get the next words out. My eyes widened at what he had said. What?

You heard me. He said softly. I may have ended it between us but I still like you and despite what ever I do I can't get rid of those feelings I have for you. You hurt me more then anything when you didn't believe what I said but I still like you.

"Then why won't you just get back together with me?"

It's not so simple. His serious face turned back into the Alex I knew, the one who actually had emotion. He looked up at me the light from the lamp glinted against his grey eyes. I don't know if this will happen again.

I frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

The fighting. We always fight.

We always make up after it happens. I stated.

Alex didn't answer me right away.

After a moment I continued. "Can I prove it to you?" How much I want this to work between us."

He looked at me in question not answering but I took it as a yes.

I closed my eyes before sighing, then I opened them again.

Slowly I raised my hand towards him touching the side of his face where I saw him look at my hand with concern but other then that he didn't move. I trailed my hands up the side of his face and into his red hair while leaning in.

Unexpectedly he grabbed my chin and pulled me in all the way and our lips met. Slowly I felt his against mine, soft and tender just like I had missed and I had been craving for days now. Apparently we had both wanted the kiss so badly that we deepened it and kissed harder before we had to pull away for air.

"Do you, believe me now?" I asked slowly.

Alex looked up at me in thought, he stared for a mment and finally gave me a small smile. Honestly. . .Yeah.


	30. Forgivness

I closed my eyes slowly as Alex's hand caressed my head making sure not to hurt me where I had been hit with what ever it was that Adam had hit me with.

I felt relieved. All the weight on my shoulders was lifted and I felt free from the depressed feeling I had felt for the last past week.

I opened my eyes again to look Alex in his. He once again gave me a small smile. It was as if things were as they were before we had broken up. I averted my eyes away from his in thought.

I was lucky he was with me again, I seriously couldn't live without him. He had helped me threw the crazy crap I had been threw and just calling it quits all because of a stupid mistake was just plain wrong. But I knew he had the right to have a say in our current relationship.

But were we really ready to be together again? I had said we wouldn't fight anymore. . .but was it enough to keep us together?

"You okay?" Alex asked, leaning his head in front of my eyes from the direction they had been looking in.

"Yeah. . .Just thinking." I answered quietly.

"You're worried about us aren't you?" He asked catching me off guard.

I blinked at him surprised that he had caught what I was thinking so quickly." How did you know?"

"Gareki" He said flashing me a cute smile. I can still read your emotions even if we did break up. Now tell me.

"Right." I bit my lip before answering. Do you think we can still be together even threw all that's happened between us?

Alex never looked away from me as I asked him this. His smile disappeared and he gave me a serious look. Yes I do. We've been threw a lot for the past few weeks, I don't think even threw the most trouble we've gone threw can break us up again. Even if it does, we always end up back together or making up.

I thought about his words before nodding." I just hope what happened at that party passes us as if it never happened." I said quietly.

I can't say that it entirely will for me. Alex admitted. But in truth I really couldn't stand being away from you **_even_** when I was mad at you. I know I already told you this but I just want you to remember it.

I was quiet for a moment, revolving around what he had possible been threw while waiting for my response for the whole Stormy kissing him thing.

I'm really sorry. I found myself saying. I looked out the window where the rain drops had ceased in their fall from the still clouded skies. For everything that I caused you to feel. I know it must have tortured you to hear me not believe in what you said.

It did. Alex sighed. But I'm really relieved that you finally believe me. It hurt because I had tried so hard just to make you believe that I truly **_only_** liked you. I had said it to you plenty of times and when you denied what I admitted to you from the party. . .I snapped, I guess you could say.

Truthfully I was just really upset at what I had seen with you and Stormy in that hall way. I wasn't thinking clearly.

Me and Stormy were just talking but then. . .she admitted something to me. . .Alex started.

I looked at him curiously wanting him to continue." What?" I frowned.

She told me she liked me. That she wanted me to be with her. But of course many girls don't understand that I'm into guys, right when I was going to explain to her that I was gay she jumped at me and suddenly she was kissing me. I could tell she was drunk. He explained.

And, of course that was when I walked in on you two. I said miraculously.

I wish you hadn't, then this fight wouldn't have started. Alex stated truthfully.

Yeah, that I agree with. I said before explaining to him what she had told me today She confronted me about her brother telling me to stay away from him since she couldn't be with you.

Alex rose an eyebrow before looking at me. "Who's her brother, the guy you were kissing?"

I sighed. I was drunk and his name's Lock. You know, the guy D.C introduced us to at the bar at her house.

Oh, Him. Alex said distastefully with bitterness in his voice, not even trying to hide it. I'm both jealous and mad he got to kiss you at a party like that. I still don't know if I want to let that one slip.

I barley remember anything from that night only the main things. I rubbed a hand on my forehead before continuing. I already know I went crazy after the first drink.

You were crazy on the dance floor. Alex added glancing at me.

I groaned remembering the crowd of dancing bodies dancing against mine. This is why I didn't want to go to the party in the first place. I honestly only went because it was D.C's birthday,

We both didn't know till Nai told us. So there was nothing much we could do, especially since she wanted you to come. Alex reminded me.

I guess. I muttered.

How have they been any way. I haven't talked to them much. I heard that they've been picking you up from school in my absence. Alex said.

I opened my mouth to say something but I paused at the memory of Nai kissing me in his car earlier that morning. Subconsciously causing my face to grow red.

N-Nai Is. . .Was all I could say before Alex interrupted.

"What did he do?" He asked accusingly with suspicion in his eyes.

Nothing. I claimed as I calmed my nerve. Both him and D.C are fine, nothing much has happened.

Alex continued to stare at me with a perplexed expression wondering why I had seemed so flustered by his question. Okay. . .He said slowly before getting up from the floor and stretching. He turned to me.

"Want to head out somewhere?"

I shrugged thinking that was a good idea instead of staying isolated in his bed room. Yeah. I stood up and put on my shirt that had been cleaned but still had rips in it from the pocket knife.

My eyebrows creased angrily. Those guys have to be expelled too. They could have killed me.

You're lucky I was there to help. Alex stated while opening his door letting us both exit his bed room. I saw what they'd been posting around the school about you. I can't say I'm to happy about it as much as you are too.

I grimaced at the photo shopped pictures of me everyone had seen. What an annoyance. I muttered. To top it all off, my nightmares have come back too.

Alex stopped at the bottom of the stairs causing me to stop as well. He turned to me." Are they bad still?"

They're horrifying. I admitted. They're all about my dad saying that he might come back, I don't want to believe it, but. . .

 **Don't.** Alex said firmly. Don't believe in something like that. Your dad is in jail he isn't coming near you. Just as long as I'm here you'll tell me what's bothering you and I'll help. But don't keep quiet on me, okay?

He was doing it again. Trying to be the hero, no he **was** a hero I would be dead right now if it hadn't been for him. I nodded in response both of us continuing our way to the front door before we heard a door shut behind us.

Alex and I turned around to see his mother Dirrah standing in the foyer near the staircase. She looked up at us surprised to see my face considering it had been a few days I had been here. she was carrying a laundry basket but set it aside in a near by closet before looking back at us.

"Did you two have sex again?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, hands on her hips.

Mom! Alex protested in disbelief.

I sighed feeling my face heat up again. I had forgotten about that. Last time I had visited she had over heard me moaning and suspected me and Alex were having sex when it wasn't what we were doing.( Some where close to it though).

Alex touched his forehead with two fingers shaking his head with his eyes closed. It wasn't what we were doing at all.

She frowned at him. Alright, just checking. She turned her eyes back to me and smiled. Hey Gareki. It's been a while hasn't it?"

A couple of weeks, yes. I responded plainly feeling my face cool down. "How have you been?"

"Good thanks. You?" Her eyes met my forehead where the white bandages were wrapped around my head. Are you okay?

Some where along the lines of good and bad. I answered honestly. I lifted a hand to my head and nodded a yes that I was okay.

Well, I hope it gets better for you. Dirrah said giving me a sincere look telling me she meant the truth from her words." Where were you two headed?"

Going out to grab something to eat. Alex answered glancing at me before giving me a slight smile before turning back to his mother.

Oh no, Me and your father wanted to talk to Gareki at dinner. She turned to me. If that's fine with you?

My eyes widened in surprise. Uh **-**

Mom. Alex interrupted again. I don't think he would want to eat dinner here.

"Why not." it's been a while since I've seen him and besides your father and I would like to discuss, she cleared her throat. Both of your current relationship. She gestured with her hand. Let Gareki chose for himself.

My heart started beating faster in anxiousness. Oh no, the moment me and Alex have been waiting for. Were both of his parents going to except him being with me in a gay relationship?

I couldn't help but to want to hear what they had to say about us. But I was also dreading what they would think of us truthfully. This day just got better and better. . .

Alex put a reassuring hand on my shoulder before whispering to me. "What do you wanna do?"

I might as well get it over with. I muttered back.

He leaned in closer to my ear and whispered. If anything happens that goes against us being together then I'm not going to allow it and you shouldn't either. He pulled away from me. Leaving me to think about what he said.

Lets do it. I agreed finally with his mother.

She smiled. Good, I'm currently getting dinner prepared now.


	31. The Exspectation

Me and Alex sat down at the living room table waiting as his mom prepared dinner. We had helped set up preparations with her. The table had been adorned with plates and bowls with a fork and spoon on either side with a napkin.

The lights had been set to a low glow which set the mood for a company dinner, it also complimented the wall paint that was colored a dark red along with the large black table we were currently sitting at.

I had to admit, Mrs. Thorne had good taste in interior décor design. Just the style of there home made me feel more at ease about the fact that they were going to talk to me and Alex about our current relationship. But even if I was calm now I still felt anxiety course threw me as the minutes continued to tick by.

I stared at the wall nervously. Just as Alex decided to distract me from what was to come.

So, how is your mom doing about the whole, you going to see a shrink thing. He whispered so his mom wouldn't over hear.

That had surprised me. I had forgotten all about that and I think my mom did as well since she had been spending her time with Jared and all. I still needed to apologize to Jared for my earlier snap at him.

I don't think she remembers telling me that considering her _**"New Boyfriend".**_ I replied lifting up my arms with two fingers and flexing them up and down as I said the last two words to provide emphasis.

Besides me I heard Alex chuckle slightly before saying. "You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Do you still have a problem with Jared?" he asked me.

It took me a few seconds to answer that.

My mom said I had to have dinner with them yesterday night, she left us alone and Jared seemed like a real nice guy and all, " hell he was even protective of her **_and_** me". Which surprised me.

"What's so bad about him then?" Alex asked.

I looked him strait in the eyes and said in a serious voice. I don't know if I should trust him.

Alex rose an eyebrow. "You serious?"

I have major trust issues, Alex. I said ,not even kidding with the subject. I mean it took me weeks to just introduce myself to him.

Gareki, try not to blame yourself, after all it is your dads fault for making you this way. Alex suggested. He did terrible things to you, I'm honestly not surprised that you're still feeling distrust around Jared. But maybe you should think about giving him a chance. He can prove to be helpful.

I looked at him confused. Um, how is he going to be helpful?

He can make you trust people again, you know open up more and possible he can help you get your grades right.

Oh, I've been getting my grades right. I said in a matter of fact tone Ever since me and you got into that fight that's all I've been doing to distract myself from what happened.

Lets hope you keep it up then. Alex said giving me a smile.

I might take your advice on Jared. So, thank you. I mentioned looking away from him.

No problem. I'm here to help you. Alex said just as his mother popped her head into the room. Her black hair wrapped up in a pony tail. Dinner will be ready shortly and your father will be home from work soon.

Alright, mom. Alex answered as she pulled her head back into the kitchen.

what ever she was making it smelled really good. Is your mom a good cook? I asked Alex getting up from my seat as I spotted something odd about the book shelf in front of me.

Yeah, she's really good at it. Alex responded getting up from his chair as well to follow me with his hands in his pockets.

I remember you taking me on a tour of your house but I don't remember seeing this room. I raised my hand moving aside the book shelf that had been opened a crack. I was surprised to notice that this was a secret room.

Sorry about that. Alex stated. This room is always hidden behind this shelf so I sometimes forget about it.

I didn't think people still had thes- Whoa!

After I had touched the book shelf it spun as the other side of the door pushed me forward into the room making me land on my hands and knees. I wasn't any more hurt then I already was with the bandage still wrapped around my head which now decided to fall off.

Pfft ,okay? I said slowly, blowing a few strands of hair that had fallen in my eyes from the landing. I grabbed the bandages and decided to leave them off. I hadn't been bleeding on my head I only got hit in the back so I was fine.

Foot steps walked up behind me. I looked up and noticed Alex standing there with a smirk on his face clearly laughing at me for not suspecting the door to move like that.

I sighed. Hilarious, isn't it? I asked sarcastically.

He reached down and grabbed my hand helping me up. Completely. He answered before letting go. I looked around to notice an all yellow room with three large windows hanging above them were white cascading see threw curtains with flower designs.

The room was small and the floor was a shiny dark wood that reflected the glow from the open windows. The room itself was nice. my eyes met with a black grand piano in the center.

I blinked in astonishment. "You guys have a piano." I said as a statement walking over to it and ran my fingers over the smooth wooden top. This is nice.

I know right. Alex said leaning against the wall. It belonged to my grandmother she passed it down to me.

My hand abruptly stopped and I turned to him in surprise. "You play?"

He nodded with a small smile on his lips. But I haven't played it since the time she died so it's been sitting in here. As he said this his demeanor changed. I sensed sadness and mourn. but as quickly as it had come it was gone.

My eyebrows creased slightly and I turned back to look at my hand resting against the hard wood of the piano's lid. Rest in peace. I muttered quietly so that Alex couldn't hear me. I looked back up at him.

"Would it be okay if I tried it out?" I asked.

He shrugged. Go for it.

I slowly lifted up the lid and placed my fingers on the keys. I pressed down on some of them testing to see if it was in tune still. It was.

Knowing that, I began to move my fingers quickly just like I had done in band class. Just like I did with my guitar. I had always been used to going fast with finger playing instruments.

The melody came to my ears, and I smiled at how good it sounded. My lessons had still stuck with me, which was nice to know.

I moved my fingers quickly but not to quickly just to keep the melody from mixing in with the other keys that I pressed on. I came up with a pianist song that I knew.

I played the tune that went with _Yiruma's- River Flows In You ._ Before I stopped myself figuring I had played for to long as the song it self ended.

I pulled my hands away and turned to look at Alex seeing his amazed expression.

"Where did you learn to play like that?" he asked astonished, walking over to me.

I learned it in grade school. " What do you think?"

I think it was amazing, you're seriously talented with instruments. He complemented.

I don't think I'm that good with just any instrument but thanks for saying so. I offered.

Alex smiled before leaning into me and unexpectedly kissed me on my lips staying there for a few seconds before pulling away.

I stood there frozen, looking at him shocked that he had done that. He had kissed me for the first time ever since we got back together I hadn't expected it to be this quick. I had thought he still needed to time to adjust to both of us being together again. But I guessed not.

What are you looking so shocked for, you thought I wasn't going to do it? He asked, a smirk on his lips again.

Something. . .like that. I answered slowly.

Gareki, I mean what I said that we're back together. You should believe that. Alex said with all honesty.

I was about to say something but the door opened to reveal Alex's dad. And my mouth immediately closed as anxiety took over me again.

Alex noticed my un-eased expression and turned around to his father. Dad?

Your mother is expecting the both of you, dinner is ready. Derrick said. His eyes looked to me and I felt myself become nervous as to what he was going to say. But then he greeted me which took me off guard.

Hey. I replied back.

Derrick turned around and exited the room. I breathed out a sigh. Either it was relief or just to release some of the anxiety?, " I didn't know."

It'll be fine, just stay calm. Alex insisted walking towards the door and exited the room.

It was easy for him to say. I followed him threw the door coming back out to the living room where the table was now set up for dinner with Teriyaki chicken and rice with the side of salad.

As much as Alex had said his mother was a good cook was making me eager to taste her cooking, the dinner she had prepared already looked appetizing. I was impressed.

I sat down at the table next to Alex able to calm my nerve just a little. The feeling of this emotion was wearing me out so I was glad to finally sit down. I doubted I would have been able to stand up much longer just out of nervousness. I didn't let this emotion show on my face though, instead I kept it blank like I would normally do.

This is nice. I complemented Dirrah.

Oh, thank you. She said taking her seat next to her husband.

It was then that I just remembered I should tell my own mom of where I was.

If you could give me a moment? I asked raising my phone and showing it to her.

Go ahead. She offered letting me get up from my seat and step into the other room as I dialed my mom's number.

I put the phone up to my ear and waited as three rings rang threw until the line picked up. Hello? Answered a deep but soft male voice.

I paused in realization. Jared?!

Gareki? Where are you?

I'm at a friends. . . doing homework. I said in a low voice as to not let Alex's parents know I was lying. I had no idea of why I lied but I supposed it was to keep the secret of me being at a dinner in a means to get permission in a gay relationship with their son. I just didn't want to let Jared know I was gay, at least not yet, it was just to weird right now.

"Why do you have my mom's phone?" I asked turning the tables on him now.

She's busy with some stuff, she told me to take the call.

. . .Okay, well just tell her I'm at a friends eating ** _-_** I mean doing homework. I re-corrected.

Got it, and Gareki? He asked hesitantly. About this morning, I'm sorry-

No. I interrupted. I'm the one who should be sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. . .it's just I've been dealing with some crap lately and I was beginning to feel overwhelmed so I kind of lost my temper on you.

It's alright. I'm beginning to understand you more and I know what you've been threw, so it's fine. I'll see you when you get home.

Alright. I said before ending the call. I pocketed my phone and stood in the foyer for a moment thinking trying to convince myself from what I thought of him. He's not a bad person. I muttered to myself before reentering the living room where Alex and his parents were waiting.

I sat down in my chair. Sorry.

It's fine. Said Dirrah. Now we can all eat.

A few minutes passed in silence before any of us actually said anything. And the first to start was Alex's dad.

So, Gareki, I hear that you're good at playing instruments. Derrick said in an unbothered tone.

Today was just the day for me to get caught off guard as many time as possible. I looked up at him surprised that he wasn't angry at the fact that Alex his only son( as far as I knew) was gay in a relationship with _**me**_.

I'm pretty sure a father would have been angry about something in this sort of circumstance, but oddly enough Derrick seemed. . .relaxed, not even bothered.

Yeah, Some at least. I offered taking a piece of chicken into my mouth before chewing it.

"What all are you good at?" he asked.

I taught myself how to play the electric guitar as well as an acoustic and a bass, they're pretty much the same thing, I took lessons at piano play at a young age. And I can play the drums and violin. I replied keeping my voice the same as it always was. Simple but not to interested. It was just the way I talked even threw an overwhelming moment like this.

Wow, that's impressive. Dirrah said sticking her fork threw a sliced tomato in her salad.

Alex looked at me in surprise. You never told me you played that many instruments.

I turned to him . You never asked.

He squinted at me. Touché (Too- Shay).

I smirked before turning back around eating my meal.

What are your hobbies? Dirrah asked.

I don't think I have many but I really just enjoy playing my electric guitar. It calms me. I said forking my salad.

I get the fact that you have been threw a lot since your father, how are you holding up? Derrick asked.

Of course they knew about the tragic events I had gone threw with my dad since they had wished me well at the hospital.

I've been doing some what fine. I offered. Things are clearing up. I glanced at Alex from the corner of my eye and he smiled at me.

lets hope you and your mother stay that way. Dirrah said.

All threw out the rest of the dinner had been spent with asking me questions about my life interests and what I wanted to do in my future and what college I wanted to attend. I answered most of them and as for my college plans I had a few in mind but I knew my grades would need to be perfect for the next pass semesters for me to even think about trying out for each of the colleges I wanted to attend. As for my job choice I wanted something that I would create, something that I practically bonded with. I wanted to see if I could become a musical educator teaching people the basics of guitar use and other instruments I knew how to play.

You may have thought I didn't have much of my future planned but you underestimated me, I may have had a problem with my dad but that still didn't keep me from planning out my future even though some time I thought I wouldn't have a future counting how many time I came to near death thanks to that lunatic.

After dinner was over I helped Alex and his parents clean up the table and dishes and putting away the extra left over's from our meal.

Alex turned his back towards me talking to his mother about something and I was pulled aside by his father, Derrick.

We stood near the stairs. I felt calm considering the dinner had gone by smoothly .

Derrick looked at me and I stared at him expecting his words.

You may be thinking something entirely different right now am I right? That I may not allow you to be in relations with my son. He asked.

I rose an eyebrow at his awareness. He had anticipated correctly. Yes. I said truthfully.

Well you're wrong. I except you. Derrick said.

Relief washed over me like a wave and I couldn't believe his words, wondering if I had heard wrong.

W-wait, excuse me? I said in disbelief.

I except you. My son has been acting completely different ever since you came into the picture. I can only guess that you're making him happy more then me or his mother ever could. I'm sure he's told you the story of how he was taken away from us, he and his younger sister.

I nodded. Remembering the time Alex shared his past with me. I was a little bewildered to know that Alex had been acting so strange to his parents, kind of like me before me and him had even gotten together. But I guessed it made sense considering his parents told me Alex never really had company over as much as me.

He hasn't been the same since that day even when it happened so long ago. Derrick continued. His sister died and he changed but now he's more cooperative and shows more emotion. I honestly am glad that you walked into his life. You seriously do not know what you have done. I can't take him away from you either I'm sure he makes you a better person too.

I smiled slowly. He does. Thank you.

No, Thank **_you._**

"Dad?", mom needs you in the kitchen. Alex called walking around the corner.

Derrick nodded before leaving us in the foyer. Alex watched him leave before turning to me. "What did he say to you?"

I couldn't help but smile up at Alex. In fact I couldn't stop myself from getting up and kissing him. Which was totally unlike me.

He was taken aback by my actions but he soon understood and kissed me back before pulling away. It must have been good then. Right?

Exactly. He excepted me. I admitted.

Thank God. Alex said relieved, before pulling me in and connected our lips together once more.


	32. Closer Than Before

**GothinBlack- Sorry for my absence I've been busy but now I'm back. Enjoy the chapter. And thank you for 1,402 views and for continuing to read this book.**

* * *

I shouldered my back pack as I waited at the front door for Alex.

Thank you for having me. I offered a small smile at both Derrick and Dirrah.

Our pleasure. Said Dirrah.

It was great having you here. Said Derrick.

I nodded just as Alex came down stairs wearing a hoodie. He held up his car keys. "Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah." I said grabbing my guitar case as he opened the front door stepping out first with me following.

That went better then I expected. I stated once I sat down in the passenger seat of his red BMW.

Alex shut the door on the drivers side and smirked. I told you not to worry, didn't I?

I sighed in relief. "You did. I'm glad everything worked out."

"Yeah, me to." he answered before turning on the window wipers and pulling out of the drive way.

I had forgotten that it was still raining but currently not as hard, it was just sprinkling right now. The skies were still clouded but not as dark as they initially had been.

It seemed like the rain that had been poring down for days now was finally going away, as if it was clearing things up just like things were beginning to clear up with my own life. At least I hoped. I only had the problem of lingering nightmares and drama to deal with but even I knew that dealing with the two of those would take time.

"So?" Alex started slowly. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "What did my dad say to you?"

I sat back in the passenger seat and shrugged. He explained to me that he was glad that I had come into your life and stuff, saying that. . .I paused for a second wondering if I should tell Alex what his father told me about his past life, Alex was completely different before he met me all because his sister's death that long ago. I didn't want Alex to become all depressed while I mentioned it so I left it blank.

Alex glanced at me again, giving me a concerned look before saying exactly what was on my mind.

"He told you, didn't he?"

That caught me off guard. I looked at him surprised. Wha-

I know that he was talking to you about it. I didn't mean to but I sort of eased dropped on half of your conversation.

Alex! I said in disbelief.

"Relax!" I only wanted to know what he thought of you, is all. I was trying to see if we both would actually have to follow threw with the plan.

I rose an eyebrow giving him an, " _Are you serious look_ ", What plan?"

The plan where we would sneak and date each other if my parents denied us being together. "Ya know, _that_ plan."

"Ooohh, I got you." I said with mock interest which made him chuckle a bit. Inwardly I smiled, feeling happy that we both were back on the same page again, instead of glaring at each other with bitterness.

"But anyway that's beside the point. Alex continued his laughter dyeing down as he grew serious. I told you what happened to me and my sister at a young age, right?"

I nodded.

Then you understand what I went threw. I kept the secret from you that I hadn't exactly been the same happy cheerful kid I once was ever since that happened, but now my dad has told which means I have to come clean and admit the truth to you.

Alex. . .I muttered sincerely. It didn't take a genius to understand that anyone especially Alex had been emotionally depressed after what happened to his sister even so long ago I could tell he was still hurt by it.

Well now you know I have a emotional problem with my past that I can't get rid of. He admitted. He stopped the car at a stop light and sat back in his seat looking down at the wheel.

"I guess you thought I didn't notice. "I said aloud a small smile coming across my face.

Alex slowly looked up at me a questioned look spreading across his hot features." What?"

I shrugged again and leaned my chin on the back of my hand the smile still on my lips. I guess I never really called it out to you before but I noticed, that what happened long ago still bothers you with out you even having to tell me.

He blinked at me. "How did you know?"

"The way you treat me." I answered simply.

"Excuse me?"

You never wanted us to end our relationship even when you were majorly pissed at me for what I said, that shows that you're emotionally attached to the people that you really care about.

Alex looked at me as if I had just figured out the worlds most hardest math problem.

"Unbelievable, how did you figure me out like that?" He asked.

"Wasn't hard, plus I know how you act." I answered easily.

Alex started driving again as the light turned green. "Well yeah, what you said is true. I'd say you know me a lot more then you let on."

"Maybe." I muttered.

Alex pulled into the drive way of my house. I looked out the window checking to see if my mom's car was there yet. It wasn't, looks like I would be home alone again today. I was used to it though.

I turned to Alex." This is me, I'm surprised that you still remembered where my house is." I said only half joking.

"Oh shut up." he said with a laugh.

"I guess this means you'll be picking me up tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, I guess it does mean that. Oh and I also need to show you something tomorrow after school to."

what? I asked looking confused.

Wait till tomorrow, then you'll know. He said leaning into me.

What if I want to know now. I asked leaning into him feeling challenged.

Nope, not gonna happen. He answered back taking my challenge. leaning into me more.

What if I made it happen. I muttered leaning in.

All I saw before it happened was a smirk cross over Alex's lips before he placed his hand behind my head and pushed me forward closing the last centimeters between us. Forcing our lips to smash against the other.

I had no intention of kissing him and I had no idea he had intentions of kissing me, but I didn't argue mainly because my mouth was pushed against his stopping me from talking. I knew whenever we kissed longer then needed like this then something would always come over both of us making us want and need more.

A moan escaped me as he bit down on my bottom lip and entered his tongue in my mouth. My own fought with his. I felt his fingertips against my scalp and I felt my hand rise up on the muscles of his back.

All I could hear was quick breathing both of us not being able to stop. The days we had been broken up had been left with us both not being able to kiss or touch one another, I guess here and now would make up for the loss of that contact.

Pulling away from the kiss I leaned in to his ear and unexpectedly whispered. You have no idea what I'm going to do to you.

I heard a gasp come from his throat before I bit on his ear lobe making him moan quietly. A blush over came my face at the sound of it.

I heard a snap unbeknownst to me I had unbuckled mine and his seat belts and he pulled me over to him so now that I was sitting on his lap with both of our faces facing each other, both of my knees on either side of his on the seat.

His hands placed on my lower back. I leaned into his neck and laughed. "what are we doing?"

"Getting carried away in your drive way." He answered quietly in my ear.

Exactly. I muttered breathlessly. I looked out the window at the sky noticing how dark the sky had become during our drive over here.

It's getting dark, you want to stop? I asked.

"No. Do you?" He asked.

No. I answered leaning into his neck before I bit down gently.

I heard him take in a deep breath right as I let go. His one hand that was placed on my lower back slipped into my T shirt and sent goose bumps up my body as he trailed it over my back and over my chest. I could feel my excitement rising only causing me to grind my hips against his.

I bit my lip at the pleasure of his hand continuing to rub against me. I continued to move my hips along with his, adding pressure to the process.

Me and Alex moaning quietly at the friction.

Both my control over my mind and body were long gone as I became aroused. I could no longer understand or care what we were doing or where we were.

I can't stop. I managed to say before Alex rubbed a finger along my chest. I bit harder on my arm trying to conceal my moans but despite this groans escaped my throat anyway.

Don't stop, then. Alex muttered. His hand trailed down my back before reaching my butt and squeezed it.

My eyes widened and I gasped at the new unexpected action. I laughed causing Alex to do so to.

"Sorry." he whispered to me.

"I liked it." I whispered back.

I turned my head to face him and kissed him again. My hand placed on his chest feeling his heart beating wildly as his excitement grew with every movement I made.

It wasn't long before I felt myself climaxing.

I clenched onto Alex's shirt mistakenly wrinkling it but neither of us could care less at the moment.

"I-I'm about to- Alex!"

Do it. He ordered. And I did. My eyes closed tightly and I moaned loudly not holding it back anymore as my climax took me strongly. Alex coming right behind me.

My head rested against his shoulder both him and I breathing hard. My brain was fuzzy for the moment until I realized what we had just done. It had all seemed unreal and it all went by so quickly, I hadn't exactly focused on what I was doing.

Did. . . we really just-

"Yeah. . . yeah we just did." He said surprised as much as me.

A light hit us inside the car blinding me for a second as me and Alex turned to look at what it was.

I lifted an arm to block the light from my eyes only to see my mother's shocked face along side of her was Jared looking at me and Alex just as surprised as my mom was.

ohh. . . shit. Me and Alex both said in unison staring back at them in shock.


	33. What Hurts The Most

I didn't know how long the four of us had been staring at one another threw the wind shield of Alex's car but I knew it lasted long enough.

They saw us and I felt embarrassed more then anything at that moment. There weren't a lot of time for me to feel this way but I absolutely hated the emotion.

My mothers face showed the expressions of surprise, disbelief, unsure, and agitation but then she shook her head at me and turned away, briskly walking up the side walk, her hair bounced at how fast she was walking on her heels before reaching the front door unlocked it and then she went inside and slammed the door behind her.

Jared still stood in the drive way staring back at me giving me an indescribable look.

At that very moment I thought to myself if this was real? and what me and Alex had just done in front of the two people that shouldn't have witnessed it. In truth it felt like I was both dreaming and reality was taking place right now, if that makes any sense. But I knew it wasn't a dream, my dreams were **_never_** like this, it was only cruel reality biting back at me.

I took in a steady breath trying to calm my nerve before turning away from him as I got off of Alex's lap who was still just as surprised as me to see my own mom and her boyfriend return unexpectedly.

I sat back down in the passenger seat, denying myself to look back up to see Jared's face. I didn't want to see it. Not right now. I was to much in shock.

. . . He went inside. Alex finally said warily, he then turned to me with a worried look.

Your mom. She looked . . .stressed. He added.

I didn't respond to him as quickly. Stressed, that didn't make sense. My mom wasn't ever stressed. . . at least not in front of me. It was odd thinking that she was now. But truthfully I hoped it was only a work problem that made her storm into the house like that and not seeing the only son of hers completely make out with another guy.

I shook my head of the thoughts I was thinking and responded to Alex's statement. "She can't be."

Alex sighed while raking a hand threw the strands of his hair. "I should meet her properly, I think it's about time that I do."

I rose my eyebrows in surprise turning to look at him. "What?"

"We never got to meet each other, remember." He averted his grey eyes onto me.

"Even when I was taken to the hospital?" I suggested.

"She didn't talk to me, Nai ,or D.C, she was to worried about you."

I gave him an skeptical look still not trusting the decision. If my mom wasn't in the mood right now then I didn't want to push it and cause the situation to become even worse then it already was.

No. I said simply before quickly grabbing my things and grabbed onto the handle on the car door. I hand dropped onto my shoulder and I turned around to meet Alex face to face. I hadn't expected him to be that close.

No what? He asked deeply.

No you can't meet her right now, if she's stressed then she's only going to say something out of line.

So what? He asked persistently giving me that sudden intense look.

My eyes hardened as I continued to stare at him. So relentless. I muttered. Then I sighed giving up. Fine! come on!

His face brightened up signifying that he had won over the conversation. I rolled my eyes getting out of the car along with him at my side.

I opened the front door that was still unlocked and was surprised to see a whine bottle cracked and splattered along the floor. I stopped mid step Alex almost running into me from behind.

My eyes widened at the red liquid that seeped from the cracked bottle only half of it remaining connected from the floors impact.

I heard a glass shatter and snapped my head up. Mom!? I walked quickly over the glass with my shoes still on Alex following close behind.

I can't believe this-! No I can't believe you! My mom screamed in the kitchen. Her eyes snapped to me and Alex who had just came threw the entry way.

I stopped in my tracks again and sternly looked from both my mother and Jared before I cautiously asked. what's, going on?

I could ask you the same thing! She snapped at me.

My eyes came back to her un-baffled by the outburst. I'm sure by now my face had turned stony staying expressionless yet serious.

What did you think you were doing in that car with him?! She gestured a hand at Alex.

Alex was taken aback by her yelling wondering why she was so upset over that. Surely a parent wouldn't react this angry after seeing two men show affection in that way.

Try to calm down. Jared spoke but my mom snapped her head back to him. Shush, lets not forget why I'm angry and upset!

That statement caught my attention and before I could stop myself I found myself asking urgently in an angry tone, _I knew I couldn't trust him._

What did you do! I snapped glaring daggers at him. I knew from the start he was going to cause trouble for her, this is why I distanced myself from him and I can't believe I was tempted to trust him, I was right for holding my true dissatisfaction for him.

Jared looked at me disappointedly. I'm sorry Gareki but, I need to leave here.

That wasn't what I was expecting him to say.

Not only do I have to deal with the fact that you're moving but that my son is. . .

Gay. I interrupted her. Not taking my eyes off of Jared.

My mom looked at me wide eyed. Her lips tightened into a thin line. She turned away from me with a hand on her temple. I can't handle this! Her voice cracked.

She removed her hand and I saw tears making there way into her eyes. "Why must you leave me! "She screamed angrily. The tears were now free falling down her cheeks.

Jared looked to my mother with a sad look. You knew that this was coming, you understood that I would need to leave for another line of work. It's what the company wants me to do did you not hear what they said in the meeting today-

I know what they said damn it !. . . but why. Her last words came out in a whisper. More tears cascaded their way down her face to her chin before slipping away to the floor.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Neither me or Alex could. I had never seen her this sad before and never expected to until now. She really liked Jared and now to know that he was leaving all because a new line of work was unexpectedly thrown on him that he couldn't refuse to go against it thanks to their company.

I know it hurts you, I don't want to leave either of you. But I have to. I'm so sorry. Jared said genuinely disappointed by the turn of events.

I'm coming with you then! My mother said aloud practically begging to. The whole scene took me off guard. What was happening?

"You know you can't do that." Jared said sadly. The company needs you here I need to go to New York.

I won't let you- She screamed practically losing her calm.

"Get ahold of yourself!" Jared yelled back. He gestured to me. You have a son that needs you, you need to support him who else will if you come with me and leave behind all that you have here?!

My mom sank down to her knees as Jared caught her settling her down to sit on the floor. Do you understand? he whispered to her. Kneeling in front of her.

Her hands twitched as they clenched onto the black work dress she was wearing. "H-how long do you have till you leave. . . permanently?"

Jared closed his eyes he was reluctant to answer but he knew he had to. Four more days that I stay here then I have to leave.

I can't believe you're just now tell me all this. Her voice cracked again as she covered her red face with her hands. I was so happy to know that I could have a man with me again who loved me and who wouldn't harm Gareki but now you're slipping away. Her shoulders shook as she began to weep once more.

I'm sorry. Jared said putting a reassuring hand down on her shoulder but my mom quickly smacked it away. No! Don't touch me! Just go!. . . Leave me! Just like he did! Go!

I'm not like him! Jared snapped.

Whatever! Just Go! My mom threw a glass at him which made him step back. I'm not leaving you Mitsuko!

I'm not telling you again. You're making it harder for me just being here. So just leave. Please! She begged while crying.

Jared hesitated before he reluctantly grabbed his black blazer off the chair and walked past us and out the door.

The room grew quiet. way more quiet then it usually was. I turned to Alex in disbelief.

He gave me a worried look. I think you should say something. he whispered.

I don't think that me saying anything will help at the moment. I muttered back to him but before he could respond my mother interrupted with another sob.

Gareki, I'm sorry! She whined with her hands intertwined with each other against her forehead. She sniffled. I was- I lied to you! This whole time!

My eyes widened at that. What are you-

I lied! She snapped uncovering her face to meet my eyes with her red ones. This whole time I was leading you on thinking I was okay with how things were when I **_knew_** they weren't. Just the fact that your father was a terrible man that hurt you without me being able to help you out of it. I lead you on, truth was I really wasn't okay after learning about it. I shoed a fake face on the outside while my real one was on the inside. I'm not okay, I'm lonely! and most of all. . .I can't forget what happened that day! I've tried so much. . .but it never goes away.

I walked over to her and crouched down. Mom, you don't have to be lonely.

"I need to be by myself for now. We'll discuss what happened between you and this boy later. Please. . . go away." She covered her face with her hands.

I gave her a hard look. "Pull yourself together!"

LEAVE! She yelled in my face before I could say another word. WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT ME NEEDING TO BE ALONE, GAREKI?!

She didn't even try to hide the bitterness in her voice when she said that and deep inside myself I felt an unexpected feeling that I never thought I would have against my own mother. Disappointment so much of it was floating out of me towards her and I couldn't bother being with her now. I couldn't and didn't want to see her pathetic face right now.

I stood up pulled the black hood over my head and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket before I turned on my heel and walked away past Alex who was watching us.

Lets go. I said flatly to him as I passed.

Gare-

I turned sharply giving him a "don't you dare say it face" He stopped and looked back to my mom on the floor before slowly following me.

Closing the door to his car once again in the passenger seat with my backpack filled with a new set of clothing for tomorrow. I fastened my seat belt and we were backing out of the dark driveway and soon into the streets with other cars heading back to his house.

All the while I thought to myself of why my life had to be like this and why now of all times?

I clenched my jaw tightly. Alex didn't see the tear that slipped from my eye despite my efforts at trying to hold them back. Or rather he had saw them but knew not to acknowledge them knowing that I didn't want to here him talk about me crying in front of him especially not now.

I tried to block her face out of my mind but it kept coming back. I didn't want to be disappointed in her hell I felt sorry for her! Bt yet she pushed me away I could understand though.

But to be honest. . .That's what hurt the most, but I couldn't admit it out loud.


	34. The Cold Feeling

"The shower's this way". Alex pointed out to me once both of us had gotten back to his house. I had looked at the time it was now 8:56Pm. Time had passed quickly but that was to be expected. Time always flew by to me.

I made the rest of the way up stairs and went in the direction his finger was pointing and flipped on the light switch to see the medium sized bathroom with baby blue paint on the walls with a single shielded window.

"Thanks." I murmured distractedly. Looking down at the floor I slowly walked inside the bathroom with a simple black T shirt and sweat pants he had given me to change into for night attire since I hadn't packed that before leaving home.

From behind I could since his eyes on me still, Alex had been staring at me for the longest of moments ever since we made it back to his house. Gareki, your mom, she just needs some time. . .to recover. He tried to suggest in order to make me feel better. But it didn't help much.

I shook my head not wanting to think about it. I don't want to hear it. I snapped unexpectedly not turning around to face him. I hadn't wanted my voice to come out like that, it wasn't like any of this was Alex's fault who was completely innocent in this situation, he had seen something he shouldn't have witnessed but the damage had already been done now he had another peek into my personal world.

I don't need to remember what happened today. I added absentmindedly.

". . . Alright. He said slowly not expecting my sudden bite towards him but he didn't sound effected at all. "I'll be back with your towel, okay?" He asked not waiting for me to answer before he shut the door, I heard it click shut behind me letting me know he was gone.

I sucked in a breath but that didn't even help settle my nerves like it usually did. I raked a hand threw my hair not believing that my mom was actually still thinking about what her husband/my dad, did to me. I was shocked to say the least. I hadn't expected her to act the way she did, she had seemed so calm and collected during the last past month since me being in the hospital.

I had wondered why so many times was she so unnerved by what had happened to me as if it hadn't happened at all, I thought she was moving on with Jared trying to be happy which made me kind of understand why she tried to forget about all of it, but I guess. . .she really didn't and she lied to me about that.

I couldn't believe how dumb I had been. But could I seriously blame myself? , Her act was completely believable up until she admitted everything to me. I had no idea she was hurting inside just like I was. she was so happy when Jared came along but then as if triggered. . .she became depressed.

At that moment an image of her still sitting on the floor with that pathetic look flashed threw my mind making me breath in quickly before I placed my hands on either side of the counter and from my eyes I could tell I was paler then usual. I wasn't sick though. I was just surprised and devastated.

I clenched onto the edge of the sink wanting nothing more then to just scream in rage. _Why did she lead me on like that and then just throw it away causing everything in that house to turn bad all over again!_

I pinched the bride of my nose shutting my eyes tightly holding back the sting that burned in the back of them. _I wasn't going to cry again over this! Not now!_ But even if I said that I knew I was just lying.

I took in another deep breath feeling my chest ache with the bitterness I heard in her voice earlier that day when she yelled at me at the top of her lungs.

Down stairs I heard Alex's voice. He was explaining the situation to his parents of what happened at my house which lead up to why I was spending the night over here.

I heard a few murmuring voices from Dirrah and Derrick speaking to Alex but none sounded to shocked or opposed to the idea of me staying the night. I was glad because I didn't want to go home to return back with the depressing atmosphere. But I did hope my mom was okay being alone for the night. I just hoped she wouldn't do anything drastic.

I stripped quickly and soon felt the warm drops from the shower slid down my body. My hair dropped back against my head once I put my entire face under the water.

I hadn't noticed that I was crying until the wet warmness continued down my face after I had pulled my head away from under the shower head.

Just let it out. I muttered to myself giving into the tears as they slid down my parted lips in drops. I shut my eyes feeling the burn once again.

I didn't want to cry. I just didn't want the scene to be in my head, I distract myself by continuing to take the rest of my shower, once done I turned it off and stepped out.

I looked down at the floor and asked myself barley above a whisper. Why is this happening to me-

I was cut off by flashes of my father in the horrible nightmare that felt like I couldn't escape from but only this time I was continuously falling down a deep dark abyss hearing the screams from me and that saw once again on that table in the barn. . .and then. . .I heard **_his_** stupid voice. The man who had caused so much pain for me and now, my mother.

 **Don't think I'll be gone forever.** Is what he said to me a smirk on his lips.

At that moment in time I lost it just for a few minutes. I had no idea what I was seeing. Strange as it sounded I was at the beginning when it all started in that bathroom, my wrist over the sink with the bloody blade from the kitchen of my house. I had cut myself. This was all in the past before I had even met Alex, D.C or Nai.

It didn't take me long to realize I had cut myself in reality no longer in my flash back past. I was so into the pain that I didn't notice it at first until I felt the familiar warm liquid slid along my thumb and into the white sink below.

With just one incision I would relive that day as if it were really back to the beginning. I was fully clothed when I cut myself again with the small blade of mini scissors from the medicine cabinet.

Gareki?! A voice shouted.

I snapped out of my daze and realized the shocked look on Alex's face from the mirrors reflection I was looking into.

I blinked a few times not registering completely my surroundings. What? I asked faintly not putting much work into the word when I said it.

Alex snatched the scissors from my weak grasp. "What are you doing?" He asked looking at me as if I were crazy.

"What does it look like?" I cocked my head before raising my wrist as the drop of blood slid down my fore arm from the very thin cut in my pale skin.

I stared at Alex, my face expressionless as he still gave me a surprised look.

I thought you didn't do that anymore. He said urgently in a whisper coming up close to me with a disapproving glare. He examined the cut I had made and glared into my eyes harder.

"You were wrong." I said flatly to his mistake. Preparing to drop my arm but he held it firmly before saying angrily. Look at this! How the hell can you just do this to yourself?!

"It's fine." I pulled my arm away from him but he made no move to let it go.

I can't believe you. He said lowly. Both his iris's shook as he stared at me incredulity. "Is your mom's situation affecting you ** _this_** much that you have to resort to doing this?! "He snapped. Holding up my wrist so I could see what I had just done to myself.

This isn't your concern-

"The hell it is!" He snapped again continuing to hold my arm even when the trail of blood began to slide down his knuckles. "You made it my concern when you begged me to forgive you." He said his words more softly.

"Now, answer the question. what's causing you to do this?" He asked.

I stared at him for a moment before replying in a plain voice and admitted the truth finally getting it off my chest.

"I'm scared. I'm scared of what's going to happen." I said threw clenched teeth as the stinging feeling came back and tears began to make there way into my eyes again. _I couldn't stop them, why was I so affected by this?_

Alex looked at me his eyes widening a bit at seeing this. He still gripped onto my arm the blood on his knuckles dried only a little.

Reality is coming and there's nothing I can do to stop it! I can't stop thinking about it- about him, my dad. He's coming to ruin everything all over again and most of all he might kill me, no- he **_will !_** hot tears ran down my face as I continued speaking louder by each word.

"Honestly what the fuck is the point anymore?" My moms hurting and I am too but you know what. . .I can't escape like you, Nai and D.C did. I'm still in it and I'm going to die in it, I just know it-

SLAP!

Alex's hand flew across the side of my face so quickly I hadn't even seen it. My face went to the side at it's force.

My hair covered my eyes as I leaned over the sink finally his grip letting go of my arm. I took in steady breaths threw my parted lips feeling the sting of his hand on the side of my cheek take place after the numbness. I was wide eyed, I turned slowly to look at him in shock. Those intense grey eyes met my blue ones and I tensed up not prepared for them.

"Nothing is going to happen to you. He said calmly. I won't let it, so please. . .stop doing this to yourself, your nightmares are a lie. Your father isn't coming for you he's locked up. For **_good._** As for the fact of escaping what I've been threw so long ago, I haven't, it affects me still. So don't say something you don't know, please.

I realized then how incredibly stupid I had just acted. I genuinely felt bad for the way I had said that with out thought. I closed my eyes. "I'm ridiculous aren't I?"

"You're wrong."Alex said reaching a hand up to my face where he had slapped me into sense. He graced my cheek softly. Your so wrong, Gareki. He said gingerly. You aren't ridiculous. You've just been threw so much that you couldn't think strait. You shouldn't be hard on yourself like this, Gareki. You can over come this, I know you can and I can help you but only if you trust me.

I knew his next question was going to be if I trusted him or not and I did without a doubt. Why wouldn't I after everything he did and had dealt with me.

I trust you. I said in a low voice. I'm sorry.

He smiled at me before saying. "Lets just hope for the best. He looked down at me wrist. Lets see if I can clean you up."

I held out my wrist towards him and gently with the towel he had brought for me he wiped away the blood and used medical cleaning supplies to cover my new cut. I began to wonder why would Alex even want me to be his boyfriend still after everything that had happened to make me this way?

I felt like I had problems, and not the good kind.


	35. Changed

I lay there, in Alex's bed. He slept peacefully beside me. Slowly breathing quietly, his warm breath swept over the side of my neck as I stared up at the dark but slightly lit sealing of his bedroom.

It was early in the morning, barely the sun was over the horizon yet. I could tell by the still darkened sky from Alex's window just a few feet away from us on the bed. It was quiet the entire house was this way. I found it strange. Usually I was used to hearing my mom get up and prepare for work but this was different.

I grasped a hold of Alex's fingers that had intertwined with mine in my sleep before I had suddenly woken up from another sudden nightmare of my father. I sighed closing my eyes for a few seconds. I let my racing heart calm down as I squeezed tightly to his hand draped over my chest where my heart was. I didn't bother to wake him over another one of my dreams figuring it was only another nightmare, I could deal with it alone.

Like I would normally do before I had met him.

I hadn't been able to sleep well that night, still to distracted about my fall out last night with Alex. I felt oddly embarrassed and idiotic but he comforted me telling me not to worry about how I portrayed myself in the way I had acted. He had told me I had only been upset over my mothers distraught attitude towards me and that everything would be fine in a matter of days.

I hoped he was right. But deep down I doubted the last words he said. This problem wasn't going to go away in a matter of days. I had a feeling my mother was about to step into a whole new world of grief but still I wasn't completely sure. It must have been my brain over thinking things. I only hoped.

I turned my head over to look at Alex's peaceful face as he slept. His red hair sprawled out over his left eye as he laid on his side facing me. He looked. . .cute this way. I hadn't seen his face look so calm until now. I was glad to see it. I examined his features closely just now noticing his eye lashes. They were long, with the colors of slightly red but more black hairs. It surprised me to know that his hair color was natural this whole time I thought he had dyed it red and black but he was really born with it.

Before I knew what I was doing I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead before slowly removing myself from under the covers and stood. I found my T shirt draped over his closet's door knob before putting it back on.

I opened his door slowly as not to wake him and slipped out before closing it right back. I looked at the grandfather clock they had in the hallway next to the bathroom. The time was 4:09Am still to early for us to get up for school.

I went into the bathroom and rinsed my face with cold water. I turned the facet off and dried my face with a towel. Pulling the towel away from my face I looked into my reflection and saw the wrapped bandages around my wrist, I felt like I was reliving something, the way I used to be or maybe I hadn't changed at all. Maybe my attitude was still the same.

I felt some what uncomfortable about this. It wasn't like I wanted myself to change but more like I expected myself to. Deep down was I still the scared teen who cut himself just wishing his dad's torment was over? Or had I changed just a bit? . . . I couldn't have my answer mainly because I couldn't think of one.

I didn't feel the need to go back to bed I just wanted to wonder.

I found myself downstairs sitting at the kitchen table hearing the slight ticking of the clock from up stairs. I rested my head on the back of my hand closing my eyes in thought.

What was I to do now?

"Couldn't sleep?" came a voice.

I snapped my eyes open and looked up to see Alex standing there hands in his pockets with a small smile on his lips. That smile that I was too familiar with.

I turned back to looking at the dark wood table. You could say that. I answered quietly.

"You okay?" he cocked his head at me. Catching my uninterested tone.

I'll be fine. I moved my eyes towards him again. After all, I just need to give my mom time. I said reciting the exact words he said to me last night.

He smiled at me fully before walking in the kitchen further and pulled out a fruit breakfast bar and held one out to me. "Here ."

I took it and opened it before biting into the typical strawberry flavor.

"What made you wake up so early, or do you normally wake up this way?" He asked taking a seat across from me, making sure to pull the chair out slowly as to not make to much noise since his parents were still sleeping.

"Nightmare." I said deliberately, figuring I should tell him.

"Oh no, not good." He stated looking at me slightly worried.

"It's alright. They're **_always_** the same." There was a detestable edge in my voice that I didn't even try to hold back.

Alex looked down at his lap knowing what I meant by that. As if on cue he decided to lift the atmosphere. "Walk with me, we still have time before we need to get ready for school, okay?"

He stood from his chair before pushing it in. He gave me an expecting expression, looking as if he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

I gave him a side ways look before lifting myself up from the chair. "I'll grab a jacket."

* * *

I pulled up the black hood on my jacket feeling the cold air hit me instantly once I stepped out side. The breeze was strong that morning definitely not something I would off expected in spring.

Alex looked around us in his open field backyard that lasted for who knows how long.

"Good, my kind of weather." He said cheerfully as his hair flew away from his forehead as the wind picked up once again.

I looked at him disagreeable. "Tch! Not mine." I walked ahead of him putting my already cold hands in my pockets. My hair blew wildly in front of my eyes making it hard to see where I was walking, but I managed.

"It's not that bad" Alex replied following me.

"Yeah, even though I'm already freezing my ass off." I said only half playfully. "Where are we going anyway?"

"Just a walk and back". He said catching up to me.

"Okay". I said flatly looking down at the tall grass stepping over it the best I could in the dark. It was starting to get brighter but still it was early in the morning.

"What's the reason you brought me out here?" I looked at him from the corner of my eye.

"Remember that thing I told you yesterday that I said I'd talk to you today about?"

I recalled what he was mentioning. " What about it?"

Alex hesitated before answering me Don't be mad at me when I say this but I kind of signed me, you, D.C and Nai up for The Battle Of The Bands.

I stopped in my tracks and glared at him in which he took a step back.

"Don't be mad!" he raised his hands defensively.

I knew what battle of the bands were. They were assigned each year for Freshman's threw Seniors in which the most talented band would play in front of the entire school. There could only be three that could make it on stage in 1st 2nd and 3rd who would play their written song in front of every one.

That was something I didn't want to do especially since I was already the main attention at school I didn't want even more people to see who I was!

"Mad doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling right now!" I snapped my voice low but had an edge of anger to it. I huffed and turned on my heel continuing to walk forward.

Come on, Gareki. It won't be bad, I promise. Alex said walking up to me but I turned swiftly before he could touch my shoulder.

"You promise?!- Alex you know I don't like being center of attention." Do you not understand what's happening at school right now?" I asked him glare still on my face.

"I do. But maybe this will change there opinions about you, Nai and D.C already agreed with the sign up, if that makes you feel any better?"

"It doesn't" I said quickly.

"Sorry". he said.

"Why didn't you tell me about the sign up so I could decide for myself if I wanted to be in it? "And when did you sign up?"

"It was before we got into a fight-, before we broke up. I was going to tell you but then the party thing happened."

"That long ago. Huh?" I rose an eyebrow. "Take my name off the list." I said flatly.

Alex sighed," I'm not doing that. There is a 90 percent chance that people can see right threw this whole thing with you and praise you for how well you play an electric guitar. Don't tell me you're not even going to consider trying to make these people forget about that party."

I looked away from him, it wasn't helping that I was thinking about the offer. What if he was right? would people really forget all about what happened between Lock and me considering I'll be in Battle Of The Bands? I didn't see a reason to go further against the idea but I still had a slight bit of doubt.

I sighed and turned back to him. "Fine, I'll join it."

He smiled.

"Trust me Gareki, you aren't making a mistake, It'll be, he shrugged. Awesome."

Despite me being angry I couldn't help but smile at him. I looked away. "You better be lucky that you're my boyfriend or else I _**would have**_ denied you."

"That, I believe." Alex said stopping in his tracks. He held out his had towards me. "Let me see your arm?"

I lifted an eyebrow before giving him my bandaged wrist like he had pointed out.

He examined it for a few seconds." I sure hope you don't do this to yourself again." He said seriously. Letting go of my arm he looked up at me. "You aren't right?"

I didn't answer right away. I pulled my arm away from him and sighed again. I've been doubting myself lately. I looked down at the ground.

"Have I changed at all?" I feel the same but everything that I did last night just has me realizing that I'm still that guy who's afraid of what's going to happen to himself all because of a man that's locked away behind bars. I raised my wrist to look at it.

I did this to myself as an old habit out of fear. I wish my life weren't like this, for me to be afraid of dyeing in my sleep thanks to nightmares that feel more like reality then a dream. I wish I were normal.

I crouched down in the grass before sitting. I heard his foot steps walk up behind me before he sat down besides me.

Before I knew what he was doing he pulled me down to lay on his shoulder.

Trust me ,Gareki you've changed a lot more the you think. You associate with me, Nai, and D.C which means you have friends, you're affected by the way people think of you, in which the first time I met you, you never really cared. which proves that your attitude is changing whether you know it or not. You even some times show more emotion towards me then when we first got together, you're more open. I appreciate that from you.

I was surprised by the words he said to me. Was I really all that different from before and why hadn't I noticed? It was weird.

Thanks. I muttered. He leaned over and kissed me on my neck leaving a ticklish feeling that made goose bumps on my skin.

He stood up and reached out his hand towards me. Come on, let head back.


	36. Confrontation

I sure hope you two didn't do anything last night. Said Dirrah once I came down the stairs that morning. Now being the time of 6:20Am.

"Mom."Came Alex's voice in disapproval. We did nothing, Gareki's dealing with tough stuff right now.

"Sorry, I would imagine so. Just let yourself know that I'm just concerned about you two." Dirrah said before heading my way up the stairs. She greeted me a good morning with a smile before climbing the rest of the way.

I offered the greeting back to her before continuing down into the kitchen.

Me and Alex both had just gotten done getting prepared for school, today being Thursday in which I couldn't wait for this week to be over. I was done with every ones eyes being on me at school making me wish even more that Saturday was here already. But then again that would make me devastated to expect Monday to come right back around only to return that dreadful feeling of every ones attention on me.

I practically shivered at the thought. But I knew I would need to get my act together considering Alex had _**unquestionable**_ added my name for The Battle Of The Bands. Was it right for him to think that this was going to clear every ones head from the incident from that party? I hoped so or else I would be stepping all over again into embarrassment and anger.

"Hey". Alex greeted after noticing me come in.

"Hey". I said back with a raised eyebrow. "Does your mom honestly think we did something last night?" I asked plainly in my usual bored tone.

"Yeah, I'm guessing you over heard. Sorry about that. "He said giving me an apologetic smile that I found cute in a way( he was right, I _**was**_ opening up a lot more from when we first met) He rested his elbows on the marble counter.

I shrugged at his apology giving him the assurance that it was fine. Before pulling my phone out of my pocket. I had just remembered something that now became very important at the moment. I became quiet it lasted for way to long.

Alex noticed my long silence before asking. "What are you doing?"

". . . I'm checking for a missed message from my mom. Just making sure ." I answered distractedly as I scrolled my message history for any recent messages.

"Hmm. You know, I never expected your mom to act like that. Alex started before continuing." Even though me and her haven't even met really, It just surprised me how she yelled at you, she looks like she would be a calm and collected person."

It took me a moment to reply to Alex's statement as I froze in thought at what he had just said. He was right, I hadn't even expected her to yell at me either. She wanted to be alone just because Jared left her for New York for a new line of work ordered by their boss, there was no stopping it. I could understand her grief but that was the thing. If she was in a poor mood now then what would happen if I just left her alone. . .Like I had already done. Oh crap.

I felt a cold sweat wash over me that second and my heart picked up speed in my chest as realization hit. What if she. . .oh no. I was at a lose for words.

I told myself to calm down and for the most part it worked until I got done searching threw my message history in which I had no new message from her which was bad, nor did I have a missed call like I had expected her to call me last night or maybe earlier this morning but there was no trace of anything from her. And just like that the panic rose up inside of me once again not even giving me a second to stop it.

She wouldn't commit suicide right? That was what I was dreading the most. Hell I was trying to keep her alive with my dad around and now wouldn't be any different. I snapped my head up and mistakenly yelled Alex's name thanks to my panic.

"We need to go!" I said quickly as I shouldered my back pack and walked briskly to the front door.

He looked at me confused before grabbing his back pack as well, running after me. Wait!

I opened the front door and ran out immediately taking my seat on the passenger side of Alex's BMW before shutting the door behind me. I then threw my back pack in the backseat.

I heard Alex's door from the other side open before I saw his back enter the car on the drivers side before the rest of his body followed suit. He shut the door and same as me threw his back pack in the back before averting his grey eyes at me, the white specks in them turning into slits as the intense look in them became known.

"What is this all about?" he asked concerned.

I buckled in before answering. My mom, she hasn't called or texted me. I might be going crazy but I think she might have killed herself.

Alex's face frowned up in disbelief. Wha-

Alex! This is serious. "She wanted to be alone, did you not see how sad she was last night?" A person like that does bad things to themselves! Do you understand?!" I said quickly trying to get threw to him.

Alex's eyes widened before he responded. Yeah, I do.

I huffed before sitting back in my seat. "Good, then lets drive to my house. Quickly."

He nodded not saying a word as he stepped on the gas and reversed the car before we drove forward on the main road and soon on the high way.

We both stayed quiet until we reached the closure of my home nearing the subdivision.

We'll be late for school after this. Alex stated not taking his eyes off the road.

I didn't answer I was to fixated on the house that was mine up the street. Adrenaline filled my body making me wonder what awaited us once we stepped threw the front door. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerve but the adrenaline was still coursing threw me only calming down slightly.

Alex came to a stop in my drive way and the house stood like it had been last night but this time it looked vacant. The windows were dark and it looked as if no one was home. I had a hunch the she hadn't left for work yet so I took this as my chance.

I grabbed hold of the door knob and pushed the door open before closing it behind me. Another door shut closed and I turned half way to look at Alex who wanted to follow me, I let him of course.

Walking up the stone steps I tried the door knob but found that it was locked. I reached down in my black jeans pocket and pulled out a house key before inserting it. The door latched open with a click making my heart lurch with the sound before I took a slow step inside pushing the door wide as I did for Alex to step in as well.

It was true the house was dark despite the sun being risen out side. I shut the door slowly behind me and the house went quit instantly.

I took another slow look around the house form what I could, trying to see if I missed anything such as what I feared to be her own blood.

"I see she wasn't in the mood for cleaning." Alex's deep but soft voice said to me in a whisper as he crouched over the broken remanence of glass from the wine bottle. It's dark red contents still lay soaking the dark wooden floors beneath.

It looked way to much like blood and I had to turn away quick just as a shiver ran threw me again. Alex caught it from the corner of his eye and stood up making some of the glass beneath the tip of his shoe crackle.

"You alright?"

"Fine." I said regaining myself before walking over the spilled wine and into the kitchen threw the foyer, Alex followed me, inspecting everything he saw just like I was doing. Making sure no suicidal accident had occurred from a clue.

Like she had been sitting on the kitchen floor last night I found her gone from the spot I left her and looked around.

It was then that I heard talking upstairs.

Alex looked up at the sealing before asking. Who is tha- I covered his mouth with my hand so I could listen in closely.

I squinted my eyes as the voice sounded verbally mushed up as if I couldn't understand it but then it cleared up and I notified it to be a male voice. Possible Jared.

What was he doing back here? I couldn't say that I wanted his presence here. I uncovered my boyfriends mouth and walked up the stairs slowly.

Follow me. I muttered to him and he did.

We made our way up the stairs slowly me stopping once the damn stair case I had just stepped on creek rather loudly for my liking, I paused for a second and from the corner of my eyes Alex gave me a funny look.

"Just go." He instructed smoothly, making me roll my eyes and keep going. I had no idea why I was acting so sneaky around _**MY**_ own house. It was kind of ridiculous but then again I didn't want my mom to come out of her room and freak out that I was back. If she was in her room anyway. I had only guessed that since the voice had come from up here, right where her room was.

Once again I heard Jared's voice.

"You know I'm sorry for this right?"

Yes, I do. Came my mom's voice making me stop again in relief that she hadn't killed herself this time Alex wasn't paying attention making him bump into me from behind and I fell forward with a loud grunt.

"What was that?" Came Jared's voice and then I heard footsteps creek onto the wooden floors coming our way from my mom's closed door.

I pulled myself up just as Jared opened the door and stared down at me in surprise. I glared at him the tension grew between us with me being the main cause of it.

"Gareki- and who are you?" Jared asked mentioning Alex who was behind me.

Alex looked up noticing Jared and I were staring at him.

"I'm Alex. . . a close frien-"

"Boyfriend." I interrupted quickly redirecting Alex's word of choice. . . _**Friend.**_ I knew he had tried to say that just to keep my mom and Jared off our backs about what they had seen last night but I knew something as mind blowing as that wouldn't leave their minds that quickly and easily.

Jared's face went to shock but this didn't surprise me or make me regret what I said. I knew it was blunt to say but I wanted it that way, I wasn't hiding anything. And I wasn't going to start.

"That explains it." Jared muttered understanding the situation.

I glared at him again. I was back to square 1 with this guy. He ended up leaving her and that was all to it nothing else. I wished he hadn't made her so upset last night just when things were going normal some what then this had to pop up.

He opened his mouth to say something but my mom's voice interrupted him.

"Is that Gareki ?"

Jared closed his mouth and opened the door wider after turning away from us. "Yes, it is."

Can you send him in.

My lips pulled into a thin line and I took a step forward. Alex insisted on following me. But I turned towards him and before I knew what I was doing I kissed him on the lips.

I could tell he hadn't expected this and I hadn't either. My body had been moving impulsively lately but it didn't bother me.

I'm sure from behind me Jared turned away once he saw us doing this.

Alex kissed me back before I had to pull away. Just, wait here. I whispered licking my bottom lip slightly before pulling away from him entirely.

Okay. He said out of breath by what I had just done to him. Which I still felt weird that I had just done that. My mind was seriously acting strange with him lately but I supposed I understood since I had just gotten him back and I didn't want him to leave my side again all thanks to my selfishness.

I stepped into my mom's bedroom. She was sitting on the edge of her bed with her hands folded into fists on top of both her thighs. She was looking down at them as if regretting something or maybe the scene she had made last night.

I wanted to say something so I opened my mouth. Mo-

I'm sorry. She interrupted before I could even get my words past my lips. I froze staring at her.

I'm the cause for you being late for school today, I'm also sorry for that. But mainly I apologize for driving you out of the house last night, that was no where near right for me to do. And I understand that I gave you the wrong idea with your. . .boyfriend it's just it took me off guard to see you like that.

I put my hands into my pockets looking down at the floor. No mistaking it. She had seen me and Alex kissing and something else she completely shouldn't have seen. I understood why it took her off guard, in vice versa I would have been the same way with her and Jared. She must have over heard me say Alex was my boyfriend no other way she would have known since he never really came over to my house like I would to his and met with her personally.

I'm sorry you had to see that. Me and Alex just have a strong relationship. And about the whole throwing me out thing I understand that you were upset that a certain someone was leaving. I glanced at Jared beside me and he caught my stare before I looked away from him

Mom, It's fine. The important thing is that you're okay.

she looked up at me her eyes showing something I wasn't sure of, like she was keeping something from me. . .a secret. I frowned for a split second before the look from her eyes mysteriously disappeared making me have a fearful feeling before I knew it that feeling had gone away within seconds as well. How strange.

Was she hiding something from me. I hoped not. I grew skeptical of that.

I looked towards Jared and asked." Are you still leaving for New York?"

He reluctantly said yes in which I knew I or my mom could stop him.

I hope you don't take this all out on me. I honestly wanted to stay with the both of you, get to know you more but I can tell Gareki that you still have distrust in you towards me that I hope you get over and understand that I am not a threat to you or your mother.

I sighed quietly. In truth and deep down I found myself not hating him, hell it wasn't his fault he had to leave my mom all because of work business. I was angry at him because he had broken her but now I see that she's alive and not as distraught as she had been last night, which I felt thankful for.

Thanks I said which was a surprise to him since it had been the only sign of gratitude I revealed to him.

My mom gave me a small smile but I couldn't help but feel she was hiding something from me.


	37. The Decision

**GothinBlack- Enjoy the chapter**. **Thanks to those who continue to read I know it's long but it is a slow paced book but the action will be coming soon, so thanks for still being here. Please Review and favorite.**

 **Views- 1, 519 thanks so much for getting it this high.**

* * *

Lunch had just begun.

I sat down outside at one of the picnic tables contemplating on what had happened that morning. Jared had said his good byes to us leaving the house before me or Alex could. I knew he had been there the longest before me or Alex had gotten there which took some more of the edge off of my shoulders since I didn't want her to be home alone.

She had taken off to work as soon as me and Alex had left her room. And finally the two of them had a chance to meet each other personally, which made me glad that she excepted him just like his parents had excepted me. This was another reason I was glad my own dad wasn't here, knowing him he would of objected to the idea of me liking another guy.

I didn't have to worry about him though so I was fine. But besides that during Alex's introductions to my mom she had seemed off, some what being not like herself. It was as if her sudden cheerful attitude was forced. Like she was hiding the real pain deep down again but it was clearly ready to show itself at any moment.

But of course I thought to myself that I must have been over reacting, after all she was just getting over a breakup, who wouldn't be upset after those?

"Earth to Gareki? hello?"

My eyes focused on a pale waving hand in my face. I blinked a couple of times trying to register where I was only to see Lock staring down at me.

I frowned at his ice blue eyes wondering what the hell he was doing here. It had been a few days since me and him had talked.

"Oh, it's you." I muttered in dissatisfaction pulling the tip of my hood over my head further. "What do you want?"

He sat down at the table across from me." Man you really are cold. No hello back?" he asked me playfully.

"No." I answered seriously not showing any interest in talking to him. The whole school was in fact still talking about the party incident from last week and to make things worse I didn't want Lock sparking up any more attention in my way. Which meant more gossip.

A few strands of black hair fell in front of his eye before he moved it away with a finger. I guess I can understand since you are the main talk of the school. He said leaning his chin on the back of his hand.

I squinted my eyes at him. "Oh, and _**you**_ aren't? Last time I checked they had a picture of _**both**_ of us from that party. They have to be talking about you too."

He sighed. Don't remind me, they are more then usual. But there is one thing, I don't really care what they talk about from me since it all won't mater in a couple of months any way. Graduation is right around the corner for us seniors. Pretty soon it'll be good bye Westlyn High.

I rose an eyebrow wondering where Alex, D.C and Nai were in the lunch line before adding sarcastically. "Lucky you." In my bored tone.

He shrugged before continuing. Any way it's you who has the worst luck.

I looked at him expecting the next words that would come next from his mouth.

The whole fight thing with you and Mathew, the whole school's in an uproar about it saying that you shouldn't of won and others are saying that they knew you'd win. He rolled his eyes before bringing them back to me. This school is so ridiculous at times. it also sucks that you have detention, I kind of wanted to invite you over my place.

He gave me an intentional look that made me cringe inside. It was creepy almost like he was imagining things he shouldn't of.

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted us to do the exact thing we had done at D.C's party. The thing that had gotten me into so much trouble with Alex and had caused the whole school to gossip about us every where we went.

I glared at him breaking the seductive stare. "Me and Alex got back together, Lock."

He looked some what surprised by that. "When?"

I didn't feel like answering. " Is there a reason you're here right now besides talking a bunch of crap that I don't care about?" I snapped. I told your sister I wouldn't talk to you any more.

"You heard him." Said an agitated voice setting a tray down in-between us. I followed the arm holding the tray to see Alex glaring daggers at Lock who in turn glared up at him.

Alex felt cautious when it came to Lock especially when Lock himself was being to close with me for comfort.

"You need to leave. "Alex added clenching the sides of his tray. Lock saw this and smirked before sitting up slowly he gave Alex a look before putting his hands into his pockets and began to walk away after walking a few feet away from our table he turned back to face me.

"The offer still stands Gareki, come over anytime."

"Oh and by the way I saw your names signed onto The Battle Of The Bands, prepare yourself I'm going to be your opponent. Saying that he turned and walked away back into the school building.

Alex sat down in front of me on the other side of the picnic table with a huff as Nai sat down next to me and D.C sat next to Alex.

He crossed his arms looking as if he were in deep thought- or was. "What was he talking about?"

"Inviting me over to his house." I said.

Alex looked up at me. "Really?"

"Yeah." But it's fine he won't bother me again.

Alex continued to stare at me skeptically from what I presumed he wasn't sure of Lock would leave me alone at all but I assured him he would since he'd be leaving soon for college.

Alex stopped bothering me about the subject and sat back in his seat.

That was right in a couple more months school would end for the summer and I was taken aback at how fast it had all come. For the last past month, me and Alex had been dealing with drama and dramatic problems and here we had almost made it to the end, I wondered what would happen now, for the future. Were we still going to be together for Senior year and rest on in college or were we going our separate ways once we graduated our last year of high school?

I sure hoped not. Never had I ever questioned what would happen that far into the future with us two. I had been to distracted by what was happening at home except for what was all around me awaiting me for adulthood and so much more. I needed to consult Alex about this subject later on in order to feel at ease about his opinion on the matter.

We all stayed silent for a few minutes before D.C broke it.

"That guy seemed full of himself. She stated boldly. Who is he? She looked to Alex before looking at me. And why is Alex acting territorial towards you, It's already surpriseing enough that you two are talking again, so this must mean you guys are friends now?"

"We got back together." I corrected her. She looked at me surprised.

"Why didn't you two tell me or Nai sooner?" D.C argued looking at Alex who was still lost in his own world of thought.

"We had to deal with some stuff." I answered for him. I'll probably fill you guys in on it later. . .I looked to Alex for his permission to talk about the incident about my mom seeing us making out in the car last night and her unexpected fall out but he didn't seem to be paying any attention so I left it at that.

Nai blinked at me knowingly before D.C asked again.

"Okay, well than, good for you two, but who was that guy you were talking to again?"

He's Stormy's older brother in his senior year, and his names Lock Agularia Lin. Nai answered eagerly before I could even get the words formed into my own mouth. I turned to him and rose an eye brow at how much he knew about Lock without me having to say anything.

Had I talked to them about Lock before, I didn't recall telling Nai about him so how did he know who the guy was?

His one eye crinkled in an apologetic way. "Sorry, he's actually pretty popular um. . . especially with the spreading rumors about you and him. He said a bit hesitantly.

Of course the rumors told him who Lock was why didn't I think of that?

My eyes widened and I subconsciously felt a heat rising to my face in embarrassment at what people might have been saying about me and Lock even more. Sudden thoughts of what they were saying came into my head me not being able to stop them. It only caused more heat to rush to my face.

"You made him blush Nai. Calm down Gareki it's fine, Alex told us his plan and I'm sure we'll clear your name from everyone's heads once we win The Battle Of The Bands. I'm sure they'll stop talking bad about you once we win. Right Alex? D.C asked unfazed by my worried look.

Alex snapped out of his glare not touching his food ever since they had all gotten here.

"Right, _**Alex**_?" D.C repeated more pointedly, nudging him with her elbow to get him out of his thoughts more.

"Definitely, there shouldn't be any reasons why they shouldn't forget. He said looking at me reassuringly.

I still felt uncertain though. I sighed before asking." Lets not forget I still have detention and when are we practicing _**and**_ mainly when is The Battle Of The Bands?"

"So many questions." D.C stated forking what looked to be mashed potatoes on her lunch tray.

"Well, yeah. I shrugged, If all of us are going to be a band for this thing ,we need to start a lot of planning, and another thing what song are we even going to play? Is four of us enough for the band it self , plus do you or Nai have an instrument that you can play?

"So many questions." D.C repeated in the same astounded tone.

I chose to ignore it and turn to Alex. "Well. What are we going to do about this?"

Relax I have my ideas. Alex said with a small smile holding up a hand to stop me from rambling a bunch more questions I had for the event I was dragged into.

The Battle Of The Bands starts in two weeks. He held up two fingers. Today being Thursday.

My eyebrows creased as I did the quick math in my head. "We only have 11 days to come up with everything, Do we honestly have time for any of that?"

"Course we do. Alex said and yeah both Nai and D.C do play instruments, they've learned well."

"We've been practicing the guitars and we've gotten better, but I'm better at playing drums." Nai said.

I'll stick with guitar. D.C added with a smile.

We've decided that I'm going to be the vocalist for the song I'm finishing up. Alex said pulling out a sheet of paper and handed it over to me.

I looked it over and noticed it was half of the song we were going to play, I read the lyrics he wrote down and found them to be really impressive. Both of my eyebrows lifted in surprise at his capability at writing lyrics.

"This isn't bad, but the most important part is how is our music for the song going to go?" I asked handing the paper to Nai who wanted to see it as well.

Alex opened his mouth to respond to my question but then he was interrupted by the bell.

He turned back to me. "Lets continue this after school. We'll be meeting up at my job, in the recording room. I'll pick you up after detention, alright?"

"Okay." I said not having a problem with the idea. But just thinking back to his job which thanks to me almost got him fired last time we were there but I was grateful that he got excepted back again.


	38. Jail Break

I sat down in Alex's car, finally the hour of detention was over and I was free to go for the day.

I looked in the corner of my eye to see both Nai and D.C sitting in the back seat, I hadn't expected them to be there.

"Hey". Nai greeted once I closed the car door.

I nodded a greeting at both of them before facing forward." I guess we're really doing this _**band**_ thing after all since you two are here." I said thinking out loud.

"You don't have to sound so down about it. D.C said disapproving of my attitude. It'll all work out especially since we're all on good terms again, right Nai?"

"Uh, Yeah. He said pausing between his words before he added enthusiastically . Definitely!"

Both me and Alex exchanged confused glances to one another before I looked at Nai threw the rearview mirror .

"You don't sound so sure." I added as Alex pulled away from the school, I watched the big building get slowly smaller as we drove farther away from it.

"I am sure, everything will be fine. He added more firmly which I found strange at his change in demeanor, but I shrugged it off. Nai of course had been acting some what , weird towards me lately even though he didn't show it I knew he was hesitant to be by me like we had before he suddenly kissed me. The kiss itself was still in the back of my own mind not being able to disappear completely like I so badly wanted it to.

Nai didn't need to worry, considering I had kept it hidden from Alex and D.C. I know it sounded bad but something like that being exposed just after me and Alex got back together and now we're all supposed to be working together in a band, it all wouldn't end well if I admitted something like that to them.

I felt eyes boring into the back of my neck I turned half way around only to notice Nai had been staring at me with a strange look on his face that I couldn't identify. He noticed I had looked at him before turning around slowly to look out the window.

I inhaled deeply before turning back around. "That was awkward". I muttered to myself causing Alex to ask me what I had said.

"Nothing." I shook my head continuing to stare out the window wondering if Nai was going to continue acting strange around me.

Everything went quiet after that so I decided to start up conversation( that was a first).

"We have to win this thing." I said seriously.

Alex spared me a glance a third time with a surprised look crossing over his eyes. "Where's this coming from?" He asked bewildered by my sudden interest.

I shrugged folding my arms over my chest. "Since you dragged me into this then the least you can do is let us win this thing." I said proving a point.

Alex smirked at me. "That is if you put in the hard work- "

"I must have failed to mention that Lock is going to be in The Battle Of The Bands as well, just reminding you." I added interrupting him playfully. And for sure that made his smirk disappear and a stubborn look crossed his features.

"Just perfect." He said disdainfully, Alex didn't bother to hide the disapproval in his voice once he spoke those words. He disliked Lock that wasn't hard to figure out.

"I don't see what the big deal is? D.C interjected. You and Gareki are back together and Lock isn't involved with Gareki anymore." She Looked up from her phone in the rearview mirror to give us a proven expression.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean he won't still try. Alex stated not changing his attitude despite her stern look but then it turned into confusion.

So I clarified.

"Lock has a sort of. . . crush on me, I circled my wrist trying to come up with Lock's uncalled for affection towards me. I guess you can put it that way. I rolled my eyes at the word _**"crush".**_ But then again he just mostly likes me because of my body, that's how he acts at least." I admitted.

D.C gaped a little at the news. "Wow, that was unexpected."

I sighed closing my eyes. One thing after another always was happening that I wasn't sure how to deal with. You can say that again. I muttered plainly.

"I guess that explains why he tried to flirt with you earlier at lunch." Nai added recalling the moment.

"Done with this conversation. "Alex muttered beside me glaring at the road, his knuckles stood out against his skin as he clenched the steering wheel. I slowly closed my mouth now noticing his on edge body language. He disliked Lock more then I knew off and it only made him angrier to know that Lock liked me in such a way.

D.C noticed Alex's unsettlement and added. "Yeah, maybe we should stop talking about Lock."

"Don't say his name." Alex ordered in a low voice clearly annoyed.

Fine, sorry. She said raising her hands up in mock defense with a smile on her black lips. She looked to me and laughed a quiet laugh making me smile a bit at her joking behind his back.

I shook my head at her antics with the smile still on my lips before facing forward again. Friends were something else, they definitely didn't make me feel alone any more.

0000000000000000000

We all stood in front of Alex's work place still having the large guitar pic on the clear glass for all to see and be intrigued to buy what was inside the building it self.

The sun above us was setting only a little above the horizon making it clear dark was coming in a few hours.

It had been a while since I'd been here but I remembered it all the same, I mean how could I not since the memory of last time kept coming into my head.

The structure looked medium sized on the out side but in truth it was pretty big on the inside from what I remembered.

Suddenly Alex's shadowed figure was coming up next to me before he kissed me while I stood frozen against the dark red painted wall of the recording studio. That was a memory that flashed into my head once all four of us stepped inside the shop.

I stopped in my tracks mesmerized by the thought. The glass door shut behind me but that didn't snap me out of my thoughts.

I felt a firm hand clamp onto my shoulder gently before a voice muttered in my ear.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked his breath fanning atop my ear.

I snapped out of it and looked up to see both Nai and D.C checking out the shop in amazement.

I blinked away my fuzzed up eyes before answering quietly. "Yeah, just remembering. . ." I didn't finish, to embarrassed to bring it up. It had been a moment of way to much lust and want and we both weren't thinking clearly once our lips connected. I had been so shocked when we both snapped out of what we were doing and now it defiantly wouldn't leave me.

"I know. Alex admitted. I remember it too. But don't worry, I'll keep myself controlled this time just because Nai and D.C are with us. He patted my shoulder before walking ahead of me.

I stared after him shocked that he had said that. Even though Alex didn't look it to many people thanks to his polite and nice personality but behind all that he was very intimidating and intense. I felt my heart give out an excited thud as his words echoed in my head. I shook my head and sighed before following them as D.C and Nai kept checking out at the many instruments they had hung up or placed around in the big shop.

0000000000

I rocked my head back and forth slowly, my eyes closed as I played the sleek black electric guitar Alex given to me for barrowing . It had been hung up on the very top amongst the other guitars that were tagged with a price to be sold.

I smiled tapping my black converses on the carpeted floor.

All four of us were currently trying to figure out ideas of what the music for the song Alex was still perfecting was going to be, or more like sound.

I stopped my quick strumming making the sharp sounds from the guitar to stop abruptly from cutting into the air. I sighed with a grin on my face as I opened my eyes to see Alex with the same grin on his face seeing me so excited over playing an electric guitar. His bottom lip ring glinted as the light hit against it.

"Nice job! He said to me uncrossing his arms and pulled himself away from the wall he was leaning against. It's been a while since I've seen you act so excited."

My grin faltered becoming a small smile at his complement. Had I really acted that excited and gotten to carried away when playing this instrument? Well it was possible considering that playing electric guitar did distract me from the stressful crap in my life and sometimes I did get carried away by it, It was a favorite hobby of mine anyway.

That just gave me an idea, a half one any way. He corrected. walking past me.

I kept the guitar strapped around me as I followed him threw the thin sections between the shelves of music tapes and nick- knacks. they really had a bunch of stuff in this store it was breath taking, Even I would like to work here.

"Where are we going?" I asked continuing to follow him.

To find Nai and D.C. He said glancing at me over his shoulder.

The two of them had disappeared a few minutes ago in which now I noticed it had been longer then that since I had blocked out everything around me while playing guitar wit Alex at my side.

I heard people cheering as I heard a thumping beat loud enough to thud inside my body matching my heart beat. The sound reverberated threw the shop from a closed door leading into a room. A sign read on the door" Band Room".

Me and Alex stopped a few feet away from the door hearing the cheers continue from the crack below the black door.

He gave me a questioned look as if to ask," You want to go inside to check it out?"

I shrugged and he turned back around walking towards the door. I walked up beside him watching as he grabbed the door knob.

I could hear the drummer drumming with an amazing beat that made goose bumps drive up my skin at it's uplifting sound. It was perfect, something we definitely needed for our song.

"Go ahead." I instructed Alex who still gripped the door handle listening in to the music just like I was. He opened the door and we both watched as a group of people stood in a crowd around a small stage with a drum set. The room was dark with dark red and blue stage lights swirling around the small ground of jumping people as they whooped enthusiastically.

And it was then that we both heard a bass guitar play along with the drums in a loud sound rocking the crowd and pumping them up more with energy.

I squinted my eyes looking at the two faces up on stage having a blast were both Nai and D.C jamming out with their heads rocking to the beat as the rest of the crowd was.

I could tell it was them because of D.C's black skull freak T shirt fluttering around her waist as she rocked about on stage with her black studded, buckle monster boots not breaking a sweat, and I could tell Nai by the color of his white and purple hair at the tips covering half of his attractive face as usual. He held two drum sticks in his fists and hit hard against the tom and snare drums his foot steadily placing down beating against the bass drum as he focused on playing in a steady rhythm.

D.C's short spiky black hair flew on her pale shoulders as she continued to dance about stage. Alex was right, they had gotten better at guitar play. Well , for D.C I wasn't sure about Nai yet since he was currently playing the drums. But they were good never the less. I was impressed.

"They're amazing, Right?! "Alex yelled over the loud music.

"Yeah!" I agreed.

He smiled at me his eyes playing against the dark red and blue lights streaming from the stage in circular movements. He continued to stare at me and I smiled back giving him a small one.

"Um. I started timidly which made me surprised, why was I nervous suddenly?! we do have 11 days till we have to go on stage for the band contest. What if we practiced a random music event in front of all these people no song intended just our instruments."

Alex looked at me thought fully considering the idea. Afraid that he would deny it I quickly added.

"Who knows we could get ideas for the music for your song." I looked at him hopefully.

The smile slowly came back to his lips. "Alright, let's go." He grabbed my hand closing the door behind us and we both made our way threw the crowd and on to the stage where both Nai and D.C saw us and called us up to jam with them.

00000000000000000000

Hirato kept his hands folded in his office staring down at the paper report handed to him on his desk. He brought his blank eyes up to Tsukuomo and Eva who stood strait in front of his desk.

"What is this?"

"A report sir." Replied Tsukuomo in a plain tone of voice staring at him seriously instead of her usual blank stare.

Hitato squinted curiously at this. Something must have been out of place if her expression had changed ever so slightly to this. It was a sort of sign with Tsukuomo if something was bothering her then her facial demeanor would change.

I think you _**should**_ read this one and decide a course of action _**immediately**_. Eva said firmly her face serious as well.

Hirato rose an eyebrow. He averted his eyes back down to the sheet of papers before turning them over and holding them up to read. As he read he felt his face tighten up with anxiety. His jaw clenched making then tendons in his neck stand out.

He put the paper back onto his desk and folded his hands up to his chin before asking , keeping his voice low trying to control his anger and shock. "When did this happen?" his voice was firm.

Eva pursed her lips at his reaction knowing full well he was restraining himself from yelling.

"Last night, mid night to be more specific. Tsukuomo replied. He escaped from his cell and killed the guards who were on their shift at the time before making his escape some where among the city. He got out of his cuffs before they could stop him."

Hirato's eyebrows creased in concentration. He was quiet for a long moment.

"What should we do about this?" It's dangerous for that man to be lose. Eva stated before adding cautiously. "He might try to go back home where his son and wife are and the rest. She paused just for a second before adding dramatically . . .you already know."

"Yes, yes I do. Hirato finally said before continuing. I want the whole squad out searching for this man. We need Mr. Igarashi back behind bars before he does something as terrible as he did to his own son, understood?"

"Yes, sir." They both said in unison.


	39. On My Mind

We all worked on the song that we were supposed to be singing for the contest, we just needed a catchy tune to go with it, along with a beat of course.

But then after playing our instruments from the practice band room we made our way up to the studio just as the group of people who were watching us perform went about their own business giving us plenty of complements on how well we played.

So now we were pooped- or should I say, slacking off for coming up with music for the song but we had some ideas but we all agreed to play it tomorrow since we still had 10 more days to play it and memorize it. Today being officially day one of practice.

I watched Alex on the small stage, gripping the mic on it's stand as he sang in a peaceful voice that was amazing to hear. He sang with so much passion and emotion that all of it washed over me making the same feeling spread out threw my chest causing a warm smile to cross over my lips.

I sat on a piano stool my fingers moving in slow key, following the sound of his voice, slowly moving my head back and forth listening to Alex go on high octave just slightly only to go into a low whisper making his voice sound smooth.

It was then that Nai came in with the drums, making the beat match with Alex's voice as it got high again.

 _ **" Let them all go home, we're out late."**_

 ** _"We Don't Care what them people say"_**

 ** _"We Don't to be ordinary!"_**

 ** _"Make your best mistakes! "_**

 ** _"Cause we don't have the time to be sorry!"_**

 ** _"So baby be the life of the party!"_**

 ** _I'm telling you to take your shot it might be scary, hearts are gonna break!_**

 ** _"Cause we don't have the time to be sorry."_**

 ** _"So baby be the life of the party."_**

D.C stood against the wall nodding her head to the music while clapping her one hand against a tambourine as we all continued to play in the private studio room.

Alex closed his eyes moving his body slowly to the music still keeping a hold on the mic as he sang. I could tell he was in his element. I understood that this was a favorite thing for him to do. Was singing. He was amazing at it even though I didn't know the song he was currently singing I still enjoyed it.

 _ **"Come out tonight, come out tonight!"**_

 _ **"There's no one standing in your way!"**_

 _ **"Come out tonight, come out tonight!"**_

 ** _"We don't care what them people say."_**

 _ **"We don't care what them people say."**_

 _ **"We don't have to be ordinary!"**_

 _ **"Make your best mistakes!"**_

 _ **"Cause we don't have the time to be sorry"**_

 _ **"So baby be the 'life of the party.'**_

 _ **"I'm telling you to take your shot it might be scary!"**_

 _ **"Hearts are gonna break!"**_

 _ **"Cause we**_ _**don't have the time to be sorry."**_

 _ **"So baby be the life of the party."**_ Alex's voice faded as he finished the song, now opening his eyes with the smile still plastered to his face.

"Is that good enough for you, Nai?" He asked turning to him.

Nai smiled before giving out a breathy laugh." I suppose it was. . . alright." he said pausing to come up with a word with a roll of his eye.

Tch! D.C scoffed stepping away from the wall with her arms out. "Alright?! She repeated his exact word. That was amazing! Don't try to pretend you didn't like it, you KNOW it was good."

Hm. Nai mumbled with a shrug.

D.C sighed. I may be a Goth and all but I know good singing besides medal when I hear it, and you sing really well Alex, don't mind Nai. She averted her eyes towards him.

"Thanks." Alex offered before jumping off the stage. He looked towards me still having that smile on his face. "What did _**you**_ think."

I blinked not holding back the small smile still on my own lips." It was great."

"There you go! D.C exclaimed enthusiastically towards my complement. Making us laugh at her over excitement.

I was only proving a point Nai, It was you who wanted me to show my musical talent. Alex stated as Nai gave him a ' what ever you say' look as he lost his point in the matter.

"I was just, ya know. Nai shrugged nonchalantly, checking if he had talent in music."

"We know Nai, we know." D.C said, still having a laugh in her voice.

Nai blew out another short laugh, "you guys are such fakers." he said jokingly.

I chuckled at that earning myself a strange look from him. The same look he had given me in the car that I wasn't able to identify. It was strange. I gave him a questioned look.

Noticing he had been looking at me for to long he looked away and continued to talk to D.C who was joking around with him about being jealous of Alex's singing voice.

The smile from my lips disappeared and I creased my eyebrows, maybe he was way to hooked onto that kiss he had given me, but I thought we had both told each other to forget it ever happened, looks like he, nor I could forget at all.

"Gareki?"

I blocked away my clouded eyes to look up at Alex's concerned face.

"You, okay." he asked slowly. He was close to me no longer on the carpeted floor but back onto the small stage where I was still sitting on the piano stool.

"Um, yeah." I answered way to unsure of myself. I slightly cringed at my quickness in answering his question knowing he knew something was definitely off with me.

He gave me a skeptical look. "You're not alright, are you. Something's definitely up."

"No." I stated softly standing up. I couldn't tell him about the kiss thing, we had already been threw one drama kiss that broke us up and I wasn't going to let it happen again. I couldn't.

He rose his eyebrows looking up at me from where he sat. "You're really not going to tell- "

Hey guys, we need to get going now! D.C said waving her arm as we turned to look at her and Nai ready to go home. That was right it was almost dark about now and they both needed to get home before curfew.

"Alright." Alex answered standing up, grabbing his back pack.

Nai and D.C went towards the door still engulfed in conversation. Just when I was about to follow Alex leaned into me and whispered.

"Don't think this conversation is over." he spoke lowly before jumping down the small stage and walking ahead of me following Nai and D.C out the door.

I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding. He was serious about wanting to know what was wrong with me and I'm sure it wasn't right for me to keep this from him, didn't I promise him I would always tell him the truth or something?

I shoved my hands in my pockets and jumped down from the stage and followed them out but not before switching off the light in the studio room.

0000000000000

I stared out the big window in the small café we had stopped by on the way home to Alex's house. I leaned my head on my hand looking away from him trying to avoid his dark eyes that urged me to tell him what was bothering me. But I just couldn't.

He would be pissed all over again.

I looked over at the sun that was just a little a ways over the horizon getting ready to set for dark. We dropped off both Nai and D.C at their houses earlier so now it was just us being silent with each other until I would confess.

I should have been more cautious when it came to hiding what I was feeling, now Alex wouldn't let the fact go that I had something on my mind that he definitely would not approve of Nai kissing me.

Yet my brain wanted to tell him nonetheless but deep down I didn't, fearing he would leave me again. I was completely sure that I didn't want to go threw that depressed feeling all over again.

"Can I take your orders?" Spoke a young girl in her 20's with a notepad in her hand and a pin in the other.

Alex and I turned to face her.

"Yeah." Alex said giving her what he wanted to drink but nothing to eat not feeling very hungry at the moment.

I could see her eyes linger on him for way to long causing me to clear my throat to get her attention.

She snapped her eyes to me and smiled apologetically. "What can I get for you?"

"Just an Oreo shake is fine." I stated and she nodded her head. "Will that be all?"

I nodded.

She spared one last glance at Alex before leaving with a way to pleased smile on her face.

I sighed, turning back to the window.

Alex hadn't seen the way she was looking at him. He must have been so used to it that he completely thought it was a natural given look that every person gave him.

But I couldn't blame them. He _**was**_ good looking.

"You should just tell me. He said across from me with his arms folded. What's so bad about it that you have to keep quiet?"

"You have no idea." I admitted, looking at him from the corner of my eye seeing his face turn to shock and I noticed that I shouldn't of said that, now he was going to be even more curious.

"Shit." I sighed at my ignorance just for that split second.

Alex shook his head gesturing towards me. "Just tell me. You promised." he said glaring at me to say it already.

I glared back. "Let's talk about something else that's been on my mind." I attempted to change the subject.

Alex heaved a sigh raking a hand threw his red/black hair that was now in the style of a spiky quiff. It made his jaw line and face appear shaper and strait, handsome in a young teenage sort of way.

How had I not noticed he had gotten a hair cut. It looked good but that was besides the point.

I looked him in his grey eyes having to look back down as soon as I did at that intense look he gave me once more. I seriously wondered why he gave me such a look so often? What was he hoping to accomplish by giving me a look such as that?

I looked down at my tattooed arms one being a sleeve and the other being only half a sleeve. I traced my finger tip over the spread out angle wing that was well detailed having the right amount of shadowing, it stood the color of dark grey against my pale skin. I hadn't mentioned the fact that I actually had tattoos on my arms, I had gotten them when I first turned 17 that being months ago.

My mom was surprised when she saw them from day one but it was my decision to get them and it was my own money from my job I had been working at the time that had paid to get them done, so she allowed me to have them and my dad didn't have a say in it all because I ignored every word he said.

That had been the time I'd seen him in the car with that women, I lost all respect towards him at that point. I didn't want to think back to that time and I didn't even try to make those memories resurface.

Okay, Alex nodded slowly in a quiet voice. Okay, tell me what you have in mind. But latter I'm still going to ask what was initially on your mind.

I sighed in relief just as the waitress from earlier came over with our drinks.

"Thanks." Alex said.

She grinned a white tooth smile and practically beamed at his thanks before she walked away.

I bit my lip trying to shrug the fact off that she was eyeing some one else's boyfriend.

I grabbed my straw and swirled it around my shake before putting it up to my lips to taste it.

"So. . . ?" Alex asked.

I looked up at him." So what?"

He gave me a knowing look that made me remember. "Oh, right." I grabbed my shake and stood up. his eyes following my every move.

"Let's not talk here." I suggested. He got up from his seat," okay back to my house?"

"Yeah." I replied pulling out money and putting it on the table with the check.

I looked out the window in the passenger seat watching trees and occasional houses pass by as Alex drove down the high way.

I hadn't said a word ever since we got in the car, we had only been driving for 15 minutes and he was waiting for me to explain myself and so I finally did.

he was prepared to listen once I spoke the first couple of words. It just occurred to me that we're about to graduate to senior year in a 3 months. I stated in a quiet voice. I'm kind of wondering what's going to happen to us when that happens.

I looked away from the window to look at him. he had spared me a glance before turning back to the road ahead. I could tell he was a little taken aback by the words I had just said not expecting me to speak of the future.

"Once we get in our senior year, sure we'll be together then but what about after? College? We'll be separated once we graduate from senior year.

I stayed staring at him a serious and worried look crossing over my face. . . ." Alex?" I asked softly. I don't want to be separated from you.

I don't want you to either. He said in all seriousness.

I set my jaw in place before sitting back in my seat with a sigh.

It depends what college you'll be going to. He stated glancing at me as he came to a stop light.

I stayed quiet for a few seconds in thought.

If your GPA is good then you'll be going to college but if not then they'll turn you down. Alex stated giving me a some what hopeful look. I know what I'm about to say will be selfish but if you get turned down because of that then we'll have a more likely chance of being together since I'm going to college here, in Boston . I'm planning to stay near home and if you don't go to college then you'll be home closer to me and not off in some other state. I can visit you on the weekend.

I furrowed my eyebrows turning away from him. That would be great, really it would but. . .Alex my GPA has gotten a lot better threw out the past month since I've been focusing a lot more since my dad left for jail of course I had to do a lot of makeup work to get it this high. I was able to lift it up to a 3.5 not exactly a 4.0 like you but it'll have to do, and I need to go to college in order to get the job I want.

I could hear him sigh in dissatisfaction." I'm proud of you but I hope you know that we have a problem." The light turned green and he drove forward.

I nodded knowing all to well that he was going to say that. Silence grew between us as we faced reality separating us after high school. I didn't know how to react, I definitely felt torn and melancholy by the fact that he wasn't going to be by my side talking to me every day and being there for me when I needed him most. I could only imagine what he was feeling at the moment and telling by his facial expression I could tell he was feeling the exact same thing.

We _**had**_ to figure something out, there was _**no way**_ I wanted to be apart from him and I knew the same was for him too.

"What college are you planning on going to?" I asked, finally breaking the silence once we pulled into his drive way the sun almost fading now.

"Berklee. He answered quietly turning of the engine with a twist of his key. It's here in Boston like I said before. It's a music school for all types of people with instrumental or vocal talent like me and. . He paused.

I looked up at him wondering why he stopped. "Alex?"

He lifted his thumb up to his full lips in a thoughtful position. "You can go with me." He said in astonishment a sudden glee full smile crossing over his lips making my breath catch in my throat at how bright it was. I never seen him smile so big before it was beautiful.

A-alex, it's a great offer really, but I'm not smart like you I don't have a 4.0. I said disdainfully.

"I'm sure they'll let you in. He turned his eyes to me. You're amazing Gareki honestly you don't need to be a genius to get into a _**music**_ college you're talented with instruments, hell you can play a violin, any kind of guitar, piano- and I didn't even know this until you played the piano in my house and that you told me of course, but that's beside the point, you can do this just like any other person can." he said sincerely.

I was speechless as I stared at him mouth gaping a little. This was mainly why I needed him by my side he was always there for me, always making me feel better about myself and I was lucky to have him.

I felt a wetness on my cheek and at first I thought I had imagined it but then I noticed fluid was coming out of one of my eyes as I continued to look at Alex face to face.

"You don't need to cry." He spoke softly having a small smile on his face as he reached a hand forward and wiped my cheek slowly. My breath hitched in my throat at his touch making me close my eyes.

"Sorry, I just got. . .emotional. I blinked back more sudden tears that I didn't want to run down my face at the moment. Thank you, no ones really said something like that to me before." I admitted with his hand still on my cheek. I looked down.

"Look at me." he muttered quietly.

I raised my head back up only to have his lips brush onto mine. I couldn't breath not in a bad way but in a sort of good that just happened to take my breath away. There wasn't lust behind this one though, not this time, but there was a passion that let me know he cared for me and I cared for him.

He slowly pulled away from me my eyes opened.

I'll help you get your GPA higher but it won't be easy to manage since we have the band contest coming up.

We have two months until graduation and all of next year, I think we can manage I said confidently.

He smirked at me before getting out of the car I followed.

"Come with me." he instructed with a wave of his hand. I did as told and followed him into his large backyard that looked like a meadow, trees lining the sides into a strait endless grass land from what we could see.

The clouded darkening sky made the whole scene look right out of a painting I stood staring at all of it capturing the scenery. I didn't notice that Alex had slipped away from me from behind.

That was until I felt something wet and freezing hit against my back making me lurch forward at the cold sensation. I gasped for breath feeling drenched like I was in a bucket of ice. UGHH, What the hell?! I breathed in shock, feeling drops of freezing water drop from my back only to slid down the line of my back making me twitch.

Alex burst out laughing before he threw a water gun at my feet it was one of those big ones. I looked down at it." Alex- AHH!" he shot me again with water. "For God's sake, don't spray me!"

Alex continued to laugh holding up the water hose in his grip smirking at me. "Pick it up!"

"That's not fair, I shot back holding up an accusing finger. You have the hose!" But then he sprayed me yet again making me yelp.

"Ok !ok! I'll pick it up!" I yelled holding up my hands before quickly holding and aiming the water gun.

"You are so asking for it, Alex!" I yelled spraying him in the face before he could get me another time.

"Ah! It's freezing!" He yelled wiping his face with the bottom half of his shirt revealing his lean stomach." That's how I feel." I snapped before spraying him again, I was relentless when I did this to until he was drenched. Some what like I was.

"No!. . . No! Stop!" he laughed holding up his arms defensively as I continued to spray him not bothering to stop at all.

"You deserve this!" I laughed continuing to pump at the gun to shoot more water into his face but then it came to the point where no water came out at all. It was empty.

"Oh shit." I said causing Alex to look up at me and see my dilemma. He smirked at me and I quickly turned away from him and started to run.

"NOOO!"

He sprayed me any way, ignoring my protest right in my back making me jerk forwards at the frigid water.

"Oh Crap!" I yelped falling to the ground as he caught up with me and sprayed me all over my face.

Pay back! Alex said above me with a victorious laugh.

Not today! I yelled grabbing hold of his legs and pulled him down onto the grass and I fought lose the hose from his grip and pulled up his shirt only to spray his stomach in which he yelled at the cold water.

I laughed mockingly right as I heard some one calling my name. I looked up and noticed Dirrah standing there holding up the house phone. She turned off the water hose and gave me a towel with a laugh as I walked over to her and dried off my hands.

You should call your mom it's pretty dark out and I bet she's worried about you. She said once I reached her.

I nodded." Right, sorry about the. . .water." I gestured towards Alex who was sprawled out on the ground.

She just smiled and shook her head. "As long as the both of you two dry off and don't track any water or mud in the house then it's fine." She walked away leaving us alone.

Alex came up behind me and swung his arm around my neck. "Nice pay back." he encouraged.

I gave him a side ways glance before smirking, "you want it to happen again?" I asked sadistically. He pulled back and held up his arms in defense." Nope!"

"That's what I thought." I said before dialing my moms number figuring she was home about now. On the fourth ring she picked up.

"Hello?" she questioned.

"Mom, I'm at Alex's right now, I'm just checking in with you.

"Oh, Gareki, I was wondering where you were, what are you doing?"

"Um, is it okay if I stay the night at his place and come back in the morning for some clothes we kind of got wet and side tracked."

"I hope you aren't planning to do anything with him like before Gareki." she said skeptically. Remembering the scene from in the car the other night.

"What, no! Why does everyone think that?" I asked with a lifted eyebrow. No I'm not."

"Ok, then it's fine by me." On her end of the line I heard glasses clattering together and murmured voices laugh.

"Have another drink!" said a giddy female voice that sounded as if she had one to many.

I frowned. "Do you have company over?"

"B-business company." she fumbled quickly with her words making me wonder why she said it so fast?

"Okay. I said slowly beginning to shrug it off. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes!" she said before hanging up not saying a good bye like she usually did. I pulled the phone away from my ear slowly.

"Okay then". I replied to the phone with no one any longer on the other end.

Spending the night? Alex questioned beside me hearing the entire conversation.

I nodded, "Sorry about that but I just didn't want to go home this late at night and besides ,she has company sounds like a group of people."

"Hm. Well she does need to be around people considering what she's been threw with Jared having to leave. He pointed out.

"Yeah." I said a bit unsure feeling a bad feeling rise inside of me.

"Come on. We need to get cleaned up. "Alex stated grabbing my hand.

"Yeah." I said following him inside.

"By the way, Alex said to me." I turned to him.

"We're still talking about what was on your mind earlier."

I could only roll my eyes at this.


	40. Wrong Possibilities

Eva and Tsukuomo walked into the police station coming up yet again empty handed with the victim that had escaped yesterday night killing all the guards in sectored B that were on watch patrol for Mr. Igarashi's cell.

Eva had a hard look on her face trying to keep herself composed about a dangerous man being lose somewhere in the city. Who knows where he could be at that moment, but in the back of her and Tsukuomo's minds they would guess he would be off slaughtering his wife and son. All the more reason to call that family and warn them.

"Still nothing?" Came a male voice stepping out of the shadows. Jiki leaned against the wall arms crossed and glancing at them from the corner of his eye.

Tsukuomo took in a breath before answering dejectedly. " No, we searched all night, but still came up with nothing.

"This isn't good, we should send out a warning in the city." He suggested but was cut off.

I wouldn't do it just yet Jiki. Spoke Hirato coming out of his office. Leave him alone for now I have a feeling he's way more weaker then we all let on. We're in the city part of Boston I doubt he can get much farther from the city then he already has and if he does then he'll regret it.

All three of them looked at Hirato confused but knew that what ever he said was primarily true. All villains that escaped the jail were always captured in the end and brought back to them by Yogi the man that they didn't find any interests to like thanks to his rank. Call it jealousy.

Hirato had a special police man on the case in which he wouldn't bother the rest of them with. Yogi was higher ranked then most officers he always didn't disappoint when the time came, so why would he start now?

00000000

A groan emitted from my throat once I opened my eyes the next morning to be welcomed by sunlight from Alex's window.

It was already morning? Time went by quickly. I looked up towards the clock on his night stand reading 5:40Am, I still had time luckily but if I wanted to get home to get some clothes for myself and not miss the start bell of school then we would need to get ready now.

I felt Alex's hand from behind trail up my tattooed arm before stopping at my shoulder. I turned to look at him.

"Morning time?" He asked groggily just now waking up.

"Yeah." I said disappointed that we had to wake up earlier then need be. "Let's go." I said getting myself up ruffling his hair before leaving his bed.

He groaned and defeat before getting out of bed as well. I grabbed my shirt before pulling it back over my head and down my chest and stomach. I was already wearing skinny jeans so I didn't bother taking any from him.

In the corner of my eye I could see my disheveled hair having to comb it out pretty much every morning since I slept crazy.

Speaking about last night I had thought I was seeing stuff with Alex, maybe I was dreaming but then again my dreams weren't peaceful, they never were. There was always me running away from that man or me dyeing or seeing. . .Alex die- I immediately blocked that part out of my head not wanting it to bother me.

But last night I had in fact seen him climbing out the window. It was strange. It reminded me of the time when I first ran away from home after being beaten and I came here not knowing that he lived here and then he took me in after I fainted taking care of my wounds until I woke up.

"Alex?" I asked turning to him right when he was zipping up his jeans before taking off his shirt to replace it with a new one.

I couldn't help the fact that my eyes lingered on his defined muscles on his shoulders as he leaned over to pick up a different shirt. His eyes came onto me before I could look away.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." he said smirking at me.

I blew out a breath before turning away from him. "I think not." I said trying to blow off his joke.

I could still feel his eyes on me and I turned to look at him and he was in fact staring at me. I frowned, "What?"

He smiled staring down lower not exactly looking at my back , oh nothing, he looked away. My eyes widened a bit realizing what he had been looking at, heat rose to my face and I pulled my shirt down lower over my ass.

"Pervert." I stated throwing on my jacket.

"Says the guy who was checking me out first." Alex joked making me roll my eyes." What did you call my name for?"

"I saw you last night." I said turning to him again shrugging on my back pack. "Climbing out the window."

All traces of the smile on his face disappeared as he gave me a sad look.

"Where were you going?" I asked cautiously, crossing my arms over my chest.

He hesitated to answer me but finally he found the words to." I was walking, I do it every night."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"

Alex pursed his lips together looking as if he didn't want to answer.

I shook my head." I'm sorry, I was jus-"

"No, it's fine. He breathed. He blinked looking away from me his mouth open a little as if he were forming the words to say." I walk at night because I try to get over the fact that my sisters dead, it's a distraction for me . . .but it never really lasts, that's why I sneak out every night just to get it out of my head.

"Oh, Alex. I said in shock and sadness. It was none of my business, I really shouldn't of-

"No, I needed to tell you sooner or later. He said standing up strait. It's not your fault, I mean I've asked you so many questions about your own life and I need to tell you something about me."

I nodded slowly looking at him unsure." We should go."

He agreed and then we headed out of his room and out of the house his parents still being asleep.

000000000

"You want me to come in with you?" he asked as we parked in my drive way.

"No, I'm just heading in to get some clothes to change in, so stay here." I answered exiting the car.

I walked up the stone steps and opened the door with a single twist for a test check to see if it was unlocked. . . and it was. I glared down at it wondering why was it open?

I walked inside and slowly closed the door behind me. It was quiet. I walked slowly threw the foyer and into the messed up kitchen and living room. I stopped dead in my tracks looking at the many glasses and bottles of wine Strawn and laid about with out a care. Some were broken even.

I could see red party cups with alcohol in them on the dinner table and plates with left over food and scrunched up napkins and spills of red wine on the floor.

I breathed slowly threw my mouth still in shock. I had never seen my house in disarray like this, usually it was kept clean. The living room had rumbled up sheets on the couches and the pillows that once sat in the corners were ripped having the cotton inside lane one the ground and atop the coffee table.

A vase in the corner lay broken on the ground. _Was this the business party she had last night? Why would they all do this? That couldn't of been a business party I doubt they would of did this._

I heard something break upstairs and then I heard her voice yell a curse. I whipped around and ran upstairs opening her door quickly.

"Mom?!"

She turned to me startled. "Gareki?" She looked a mess, her hair was up in tangles and frizzed up and she had her work clothes on wrong, most of it being wrinkled.

I blinked at her to surprised to say anything. "Um."

"I'm sorry, the house is a mess isn't it?"

I nodded still incapable of finding words.

"She smiled slightly. We over did the partying last night, we all got carried away by the wine."

"I can see that." I finally found the words to answer her. " So are you okay? You ended the call with me last night a bit to quickly."

"I'm fine. I just needed some time to get used to the fact that Jared won't be here with me. "He really was a great man to me, you would have liked him more if he wouldn't of had to leave so suddenly."

I nodded not really agreeing with the fact that I would of liked him or not, I didn't know any more and I wasn't going to think about it further. " Do you need any help while I'm here?"

" Yes, but after school I'll need you to tidy up the living room leave the kitchen to me, I'm sorry again that you had to see me like this, I really didn't know what I was thinking last night."

"Mom." I interrupted. "It's fine I get it, no worries, okay?"

She sucked in her bottom lip and nodded. "Okay."

"Good. " I said eyeing her one last time before I left her room shutting the door behind me. This was so weird, I hadn't thought of her throwing a party as crazy as this before. Well it wasn't _**that**_ crazy but it was one of those messy ones.

I sighed heading into my room and changed into a dark purple shirt, black jeans, a long black jacket that ended at the back of me knees, and dark VAN sneakers. I grabbed my back pack and quickly did my morning routine in the bathroom before I was out of the house again. I pulled up my hood on my jacket, it being a habit of mine, before I sat down in Alex's car shutting the door before buckling in.

"So~." Alex chimed beside me, 'I looked at him.

"So, what." I shrugged. I watched him pull down his visor and look in the mini mirror to reposition his lip ring near the corner of his bottom lip." how'd it go?"

I sighed, hearing him flip back up the visor before reversing backwards out of the drive way and drove on the main road.

"She got drunk. " I stated looking out the window as I pulled in my bottom lip with my teeth slowly letting it go.

I turned to him right as he turned to me a surprised look on his face. "Seriously?"

I nodded and he turned back to the road turning on another street." wow, I would've never thought your mom was the type to do something like that."

"You're telling me." I agreed quietly. "The house was a mess too, well, just the kitchen and the living room. Wine glasses and cups were every where and things were broken too."

"Ooo. That doesn't sound good." He stated cringing his face slightly.

"Yeah. But today after school- or should I say after detention I have to head back home to clean it up. I might as well clean the kitchen too since she won't get off work until late. So this means I won't be able to make it for practice."

"What if all three of us helped you, that way we'd get done much faster." He suggested.

I gave him an unsure look." I don't know, sure I guess."

"Good then, besides I'm going to need you today for the guitar solo for the song we're about to sing for the contest."

I nodded. I wasn't sure about my mom at the moment, what was she thinking but I supposed I should just go easy on her, after all she did just lose two men that she loved.

"Hey, Gareki?" Alex said catching my attention. I looked up. " Yeah."

"Can you tell me what was on your mind yesterday?"

I paused not expecting him to ask me this now. What was I to say? My mind wanted nothing more then to just get this off my chest and say it already but I was afraid. But the urge only grew that I should tell him and admit the truth.

We pulled into the schools parking lot and he shut off the ignition." You _**know**_ you can say it to me, Gareki." He said turning to look at me.

I stayed quiet not looking at him but staring strait.

But just then he just had to say: You promised me don't tell me that it was all a lie-

Nai kissed me! I blurted loudly the urge had built up inside of me and I couldn't hold it back any longer.

He and I went quiet. I didn't want to face him but of course I had to sooner or later, I turned my head slowly to look at him.

He gave me a blank stare.

"What? "He asked deeply, he was affected by it.

I looked down before looking back up. "He kissed me, now you know."

I saw his jaw flex as his teeth clenched. He shook his head. "I shouldn't have asked." He turned away from me and opened the door exiting the car quickly before shutting it behind him. He walked up to the school back turned to me.

I gasped out the breath I had been holding. Reality hit me like a wave. What had I just done?!


	41. A Shoulder To Cry On

I settled the anxiety in my chest before reaching my hand to the door handle and exited the car with my backpack on my shoulders. I saw Alex enter the building before I could even reach him.

He was walking quickly.

Was he really upset? Of course he was, he _**had**_ to be, who wouldn't be after hearing the news of your best friend kissing your boyfriend?

"Not good." I muttered to myself jogging up the walk way and threw the double doors immediately getting looks from the students around me but I ignored them and stopped in the center of the entrance way looking around myself slowly.

Only thing I could see were other students and not Alex's fiery red hair beyond the groups of teenagers conversing .

There was no point in going to class now if he was mad at me for what I had to say, I needed to speak with him in private about this, not in English Lit where the class would obviously hear us speak.

I remembered the anger that crossed over his face before he left me in the car I hoped he wasn't looking for Nai or else he would be in for it, all the more reason for me to find him before that happens.

I made my way threw the crowd squeezing my way past the gossiping groups with my name roaming past their lips. This was still a growing annoyance with me about the topics of the fight and the part that had happened days ago but I didn't try to think about it, just shrugged it off and kept going down the main hallway where couples leaned against their lockers talking to each other. Not paying me any mind, thanks God for that.

"Where is he?" I said under my breath, I turned down the hall walking past other students getting things from their lockers before turning down hall A-2 and came face to face with Lock who nearly bumped into me.

"Gareki? He lifted an eyebrow. Well look who it is." he crossed his arms with a smirk on his face.

I huffed out a low sigh before dismissing him with a glare, I planned to walk around him to continue my urgent business but he simply side stepped blocking my path.

"You got a problem?" I glared up at him hating his couple inches taller then myself.

"Course not, but I do have to ask you something." he insisted, unfolding his arms he pushed them down into his jean pockets.

I sighed again before adding," You know your sister doesn't want me talking to you." I stated flatly still looking over his shoulder.

He gave me a confused look before looking in the direction I was looking in." What are you looking at?!"

"None of your business." I stood back in place no longer looking over his shoulder _, Alex wasn't down that hallway either._

"Gareki?"

 _I wonder where he is?_

"Gareki?"

 _Damn, I don't have time for this!_

"Gareki?!" Lock exclaimed my name the third time getting my attention after being stuck in thought.

"What is the matter with you?" he frowned.

I sunk my shoulders in annoyance about him still being here asking about my own business when he should've really minded his own at a time like this." I'm looking for Alex, okay." I snapped.

Lock leaned against a locker." Oh him again, seems to me you two are always close or either arguing to find one another in this school. What happened?"

I clenched my jaw hesitating to answer but I figured I should just to shut him up. I calmed myself down and replied." Nai, a friend of mine kissed me and I had to tell Alex about it and so, he stormed off some where in the school, I'm trying to find him, I just hope he isn't punching Nai's brains out right about now. Which is another reason why I can't talk to you at the moment."

Lock nodded looking as if he really understood and just by him doing that I felt like he wasn't an annoying guy at all that had sexual feelings towards me but maybe he was different then I had expected and assumed. But then again I shouldn't be talking to him now, I told his sister that I wouldn't talk to him any more just because she couldn't get Alex to like her, wasn't like I was bothered by it.

Lock and me were just acquaintances, nothing much more then that.

"Look, I started in serious voice, I shouldn't be talking to you, I need to go." I stepped back away from him but heard his voice tell me:

"You know it doesn't matter what my sister says, I'm talking to who ever I want and you should too, she just gets carried away some times.

I looked the other way not paying to much attention to his response, it was then that I saw D.C waving me over frantically. just by the look on her face I knew it was about Alex and Nai.

"Uh oh." I left Lock staring after me against the lockers.

"What's wrong?" I came up to her.

" You tell me, Alex found Nai and I over heard him yelling, me and Nai were just talking and then suddenly Alex walks up and totally yells in his face." She stated.

Dread crossed over me. "Where are they?"

She pointed to the boys bathroom and I went inside quickly before coming to the two only figures in the bathroom.

"What gave you the right to do that?!" Alex snapped glaring at Nai with a hard look.

"I told you, none of it meant anything." Nai protested getting all up in his face Alex didn't back down but stood tense with anger.

Alex shoved him back and Nai looked as if he was coming back to hit Alex in the face. I intervened moving in between them and placed my hands out in front of them both.

"This isn't the time or place!" I said getting their attention to whip their heads to me.

Alex looked back at Nai. "Gareki told me you kissed him, I knew something was up with the both of you by those looks you gave each other, how long were you planning on hiding it until I brought it up, huh Nai?!" He snapped stepping close before I pushed him back in place.

He looked at me wondering why I was getting in his way.

"Don't Alex." I said warningly, my voice deep threw my clenched teeth.

Nai scowled. "Don't try to put this all on me, Gareki and you were both broken up at the time I had a right to do what I did, he wasn't yours. Especially by those words you said to him in the hallway at the time!"

Alex was taken aback by this but he still stood tense and angry.

Nai smirked smugly before continuing in a calm voice. "Me and D.C were there along with Lock as you said to Gareki that you didn't want him to speak to you any more and you called him selfish when he came back to you wishing nothing more then to be with you. He paused pointing an accusing finger at Alex. He realized what he did and he came back for you right when you turned him down I began to think that that was the lowest thing I ever saw you do and when you left I could see Gareki break down even more."

"He was never selfish in the first place he did what he did because he saw Stormy kissing you and misunderstood, what would you have done in Gareki's position?" He continued.

Alex took a steady step back his expressionless features, no longer tense and angry turned pale as realization hit just like Nai's words did.

I stood shocked by his outburst I had no idea Nai would be so forward like this, he always seemed so calm and held back, 'but now. . .he was different then I would have guessed.

"Alex?" I said slowly still taken by surprise by what was unfolding in front of me.

He slowly turned to me with a pained look. He stood still for a moment not replying as he thought about what all Nai said, his eyes weren't focused on me but when they were he shook his head, he's right, "I'm sorry Gareki." He turned on his heal leaving the bathroom.

I watched him go, not being able to say anything that wasn't true from Nai's outburst. my mouth hung open as I was about to say something but I couldn't think of anything. It was all the truth and he now knew that. I regained myself finally able to move my legs to walk after him.

"Wait, Alex"- I made a move to leave but Nai's hand clamped on my shoulder. "Let him go." He said softly.

I shrugged his hand off and turned to him." You didn't have to say that Nai."

"I was only defending you. He needed to know the truth about all that you've been threw."

"But now he's feeling. . .I stopped in my protest huffing a defeated breath knowing I couldn't say anything in Alex's defense.

I looked back up at Nai. "You two shouldn't be arguing, we're going to be working together for this whole band thing, and by just what happened you and him better not be distancing yourselves away from each other because of this. Thanks for what you did for me but now I need to find Alex even if he did hurt me when we broke up I still deserved it." I said in a serious voice, turning away from him before walking out of the bathroom to follow after Alex.

But before I did I turned to him." By the way, I'm going to need your help later at my place after school today."

He slowly nodded, "Alright." I continued to walk out of the bathroom searching the halls for Alex but he was no where to be seen.

"Not again. "I muttered just as the bell rung for 1st period. I looked down the hall one last time seeing the student body disperse into class rooms. I shook my head slightly before backing away and headed for Engish Lit.

I looked at the Vacant seat next to me for the 15th time. I couldn't pay attention to the assignment. where was he? It wasn't like him to miss class especially when he was here at school.

I turned back to my paper and wrote down a couple more sentences continuing to mind myself of what happened earlier that morning. it was stuck in my head.

I really shouldn't of said it if I had known this was going to happen. I twirled my pencil in my hand not feeling the need to wright this paragraph any more, my mind was clouded and I doubted anything on the paper made sense.

I would have to do it over. . . but not now. I looked up at the clock noticing there was only 1 minute before class ended. The class had already gotten out of their seats and grabbed there belongings and were ready for the bell to ring. I had been lost in thought way longer then I realized. Sighing I packed my things just as the bell rung and I made it out of class last.

I closed my locker after ditching my books and held onto my gym bag.

I walked in the hallway head held low under my hood to careless for the wondering eyes that had captured my face with there phones.

I continued my way to gym stepping threw the double doors being welcomed by the large empty room.

I looked behind me the sound of the door shutting echoed threw out the gym, I turned back around continuing to walk. I looked out the large glass windows near the work out room and stopped. I squinted taking a step closer. I could see familiar red hair standing on top of the bleachers outside wearing a dark denim shirt and black jeans the same outfit I saw Alex wearing that morning.

I went after him jogging toward the door that led outside and shoved it open and out onto the foot ball field and track until I came to the metal bleachers. I stopped to look up at him, he wasn't facing me but looking up at the sky in thought I presumed.

He was still a few feet away from me. I reached my hands up towards the corners of my mouth and yelled:" Alex!" to make my voice louder for him to hear.

He snapped his head down to me caught off guard. I saw regret in his eyes and that made me halt in my advance towards him.

"What are you doing?" He asked down at me his voice sounding drained of emotion.

"I could ask you the same." I countered. I watched as his red hair blew in the wind blowing softly past us.

He shook his head at me before turning away from my eyes." You shouldn't be here."

"So? You shouldn't either." I stated before walking up the bleachers towards him.

Once I came to a stop on the bleacher that he was standing on he stepped away from me, continuing to giving me the regretful look on his face.

I got a closer look at him from this point and I could see that his eyes were red and his cheeks were some what puffy.

My eyes widened in realization and I paused.

He gave me a confused expression trying to shrug it off with a small smile that looked more like it was forced from what I could see." What?" he questioned.

My irises shook as I stared at him. I blinked a few times opening my mouth to say something but the words were caught in my throat. I was to shocked by this.

He stared at me the forced smile on his face disappearing as he gave me a blank look. He shoved his hands in his pockets before stepping down on the bleacher prepared to leave.

But my voice found it's way threw just in time before he could make the next step down.

"You were crying, weren't you?"

Alex abruptly stopped not turning to look at me. The wind blew past us again dragging the silence onward.

"Answer me, Alex." I breathed.

He still kept quiet.

I was about to persist him to talk but then he answered me.

"Yeah. He said quietly. He turned and faced me and I could see that the tears were forming just by the glint in his eyes.

I felt my heart falter at seeing him this way, and it made me think, when had I ever seen Alex cry? I couldn't recall a time.

I stepped down from the bleacher I was standing on and stood on the one he was on. He looked up closing his eyes retreating back the tears so they wouldn't fall.

I stared at him taken aback by all this, he held back his pain, no wonder I hadn't seen him cry in front of me before. he breathed in a breath in attempts to hold them back further and to calm his nerves.

"Alex?" I reached a hand towards him but he moved away.

"Don't look at me. His voice sounded drained again. Nai, was right about everything, I hurt you Gareki and I'm so sorry for that." I could see his jaw clench as he kept his eyes closed continuing to hold back his tears.

"Don't be sorry. I said softly. If you hadn't of broken up with me then I wouldn't of realized how much I was lucky to have you by my side and how lucky I was that I even met you and now that I have you back I can show you how much I missed and appreciated you, something I didn't get to show you before we parted ways."

I could see Alex on the verge now and just by the words I had said he grew even more emotional, I could see him breathing threw his parted lips still with his eyes closed. " I don't deserve this."

I moved towards him dropping my gym bag and back pack on the floor and brought my hand up to his face forcing him to face me.

"Open your eyes Alex." I demanded.

He shook his head and kept them closed.

I waited a few seconds." Please?" I said more softly.

It took a minute but he finally open his grey eyes to look at me.

"Good. . . .You do deserve this, me and the friends we have, you deserve all of it, Alex I don't care that you hurt me any more, that was in the past- days ago, we worked threw it and it's not coming back to ruin us again, okay? I'm happy for you, believe me when I say that."

He looked at me wide eyed not knowing what to say or how to react.

I reached down and grabbed his hand intertwining our fingers before looking back into his eyes that still had un-fallen tears in them.

"You can let them go now." I muttered against his lips before I kissed him. With his hand in mine I felt him tense before feeling wetness on my face. He had finely let lose his pain.


	42. Copeing With It All

**GothinBlack Sorry about my absence for the last past two days but thanks for reading still and thanks for making this story reach 1,600 views.**

 **Favorite**

 **Follow**

 **Review**

 **Thanks again. Enjoy the chapter**

* * *

"Are you two okay?" D.C asked both me and Alex. I was currently sitting on the piano stool playing a random song in the music book, propped up on it's stand as Alex sat next to me with his guitar strumming tunes.

"What makes you say that?" I inquired, turning towards her away from my placed fingers on the piano keys.

She leaned down while turning her head to look across the room at Nai writing down something in his notebook.

"All of you guys are acting weird ever since this morning, I wanna know what happened. She insisted turning her eyes back to me. Don't tell me all of you are cutting off this whole competion for The Battle Of The Bands all because of a fight?"

I opened my mouth to protest but Alex answered for me which surprised me, he hadn't said much to me ever since he cried in my arms that morning he begged me to forgive him for hurting me while we were broken up but I kept telling him it was fine, we both misunderstood. I seriously couldn't stand seeing him cry so hard like he had done. He cried long and hard until the entire gym period was over and we had to transition to our next class period.

I had helped him regain himself until his face wasn't red from crying.

"Of course not." He said from behind me. We'er still going to practice after school once Gareki gets out of detention but it might be late at night though considering we need to stop by his house and help clean up a party.

D.C looked at him confused before she crossed her arms over her chest." What party?"

Alex looked at me to explain that part so I did.

"My mom invited some people over last night and completely trashed the living room and kitchen so with her being at work till late tonight I decided that I should clean up both rooms, But since we have practice today and Alex wants me to play a guitar solo for the song then I'm going to need all of your help so we can move faster with the cleaning."

"Oh, okay. Well I guess I'm in on it." D.C agreed. She looked over to Nai for a second before asking again what had happened that morning in the boys bathroom.

"We got into a fight, but luckily Gareki was there to stop me from doing something I would seriously regret. Alex stated. I was so angry, all I wanted at that moment was to hit him."

"Glad I was there to stop you in time. I said before adding. But it's over now, we need to stay together to win this band contest thing."

"Well aren't you determined for the guy who disagreed with the idea at first."D.C teased, a smile coming across her dark red lips.

I shrugged, " Alex did tell me it would clear my name from the student body, which means no longer will people pay attention to me in a bad way but in a" Hey your pretty cool" way.

 _I still didn't want the attention but it was way better then having hundreds of eyes on me every day all because of some dirty photo shopped pic of me and Lock._

D.C blew out a short laugh as my voice changed when I stated the last 5 words in a humorous voice. "nice, but what are we going to do about Nai? Is he still on good terms with Alex- or maybe he didn't like you at all Alex and is just now showing it." she suggested.

Alex gave her a hard look. She raised her hands up defensively, "Sorry, I said to much, right."

Alex sighed. "He'll come around but for now I need to talk with the both of you on you guitar solo's for the song, it would be best if we went over the format right now."

Alex instructed for me to grab a bass guitar while D.C handled an electric that were propped against the far wall and we began to talk about what notes we would be playing when the song started and ended and when we should pause for the next verse, we discussed this for a good solid 10 minutes before hearing the dismissal bell ring.

Alex got u and shouldered his backpack," Good job, we'll talk about this more after school.

D.C and I nodded.

I put my back pack on and grabbed for my notebook as students exited the class chatting up as they went down the filled halls.

"By the way. Alex started, I looked up just noticing he was still in the class with me. I appreciate what you did for me."

" It was. . .nothing. I replied slowly with a shrug not sure how to respond to his sudden acknowledgement. But then I smiled genuinely, important thing is, is that you're okay now, ' so don't mention it."

He smiled back at me before walking past me but not before saying." You've changed a lot ,Gareki." he then walked out of the class leaving me stunned to hear that same saying from his mouth again.

I looked down at the ground, Was I really changing so much that he had to say that a second time to me? I mean I admit it, I was showing less restraint when it came to my emotions towards him unlike it had been initially when we first met but for Christ sake, I called him by his full name when we first got to know each other not feeling the need to just call him Alex but Alex Throne as his entire name went, but now I supposed I had trust in him way more then I had before.

The sound of the warning bell hit my ears and I snapped out of my trance and looked around me seeing a bunch of other students looking at me wondering why I was just standing in the middle of the front class.

"Embarrassing." I muttered to myself before making my way out of band room and headed to my next period already assuming another tardy ticket passed down to me once I stepped into geometry. I really needed to stop letting my thoughts get the better of me.

000000000000

Mr. Igarashi placed the plastic gloves over both of his hands as he dragged the women's body into the bathroom, he hand leaving a trail of blood from the knife gash in her stomach. her mouth taped over tightly as was her nose to prevent breathing.

He made sure the kill was quiet in order to keep the city cops off his back for a few hours at most. He knew they were out searching for him so he disguised himself whereing a wig that was longer then his natural hair stopping below his ears and wore makeup, different colored eye contacts and a change of clothes that he found in the very apartment he was currently in.

He couldn't stay in this place for long he had to keep moving in order to get back home and soon a certain someone would pay for all the trouble this has caused him. But as for now he needed to stay low and be clever for his revenge.

Mr. Igarashi thought it was quite pathetic of the police to not send out warnings for his jail break to the society and the fact that they still hadn't found him even if it'd been 2 days was ridiculous but it was also a strike of luck, and he wasn't complaining.

He held the gun in his hand feeling it's weight and checking to see if it was full. . . "Jackpot."

"EMM!" Mumbled the policeman that had been caught off guard and tide up to the bed post on the bed. He owned the apartment they were in at the moment with his wife womb Mr. Igarashi had just killed.

"What was that?" He asked walking over to the tide up man who was squirming to get out of his binds.

"EMM. ..em!" His breathing was harsh against the tape covering his mouth tightly. Mr. Igarashi smirked." No way am I letting you out of here." he aimed and pressed the gun to the mans head and made the man become silent instantly.

"It's my time to leave." He stated before pulling the trigger and a loud bang came from it. Blood splattered on the pillow and through the mans head where the bullet lay lodged into his skull killing him instantly. His body lay still on the bed no longer squirming for freedom.

Mr. Igarashi made his way out of the building being unnoticed and pretended not to know what happened as he hid the gun in his coat. look as casual as any other citizen.


	43. Difficutlies

I walked down the hallway, hands in pockets looking down at the floor stuck in my own world. The end of detention for me was today and all I could think to say was "finally."

I had spent the whole week in there just like instructed to do. I couldn't be happier to finally be out of it. I was currently walking down the hallway towards the exit after visiting my locker to put away some unwanted books from my homework assignment.

I went past the main hallway and done the main stair well before passing the cracked gym door in which I heard instruments playing.

To be more specific it was a bass guitar playing with the sound of drums hitting with a steady beat.

I stopped in my tracks and listened intently. Of course I knew Alex was waiting for me out side in the parkway but I was entranced by the expertise of the band playing inside the gym.

I reversed my steps, walking backwards until I could see threw the crack. I leaned down for a better look and could see some ones back turned to me and facing the band that were playing the drums and the guitar. It was a guy around the age of 17, just like I was.

I hadn't seen him around school before, but I assumed he was enrolled here just as long as I was.

I was surprised at how good they were but not by much considering The Battle Of The Bands was considered to be taken seriously for the most talented. But these guys _**were**_ amazing.

I could see another guy I didn't know banging the drums and I looked to the female guitarist. I frowned before I slowly looked up to her face and noticed that it was Lock's sister, Stormy. I blinked taken aback by this. I had no idea she would be competing in the contest.

I nodded my head subconsciously to each beat of the song finding the rhythm to do so. I hoped Alex would have a better song then these guys or else we wouldn't have a chance in the contest, and we needed to win this thing.

"Enjoying the show?" Asked a voice right behind me **-** close to my ear. I stood up strait and turned around swiftly to see Lock standing there with a smirk.

I clicked my tongue and eased my beating heart from being caught off guard. "ugh, it's just you." I muttered in slight annoyance.

"you seem happy to see me." He said sarcastically, he eyed me with a curious look and I took a step back against the wall." What?" I asked snapping him from his staring.

He wiped away his amused look and replaced it with a skeptical one.

"What are you exactly doing here? he asked me seriously, Don't tell me you were trying to steal our song."

"No, I wasn't, trust me on that." I said flatly giving him once again an annoyed look.

He lifted an eyebrow at me before smiling at me again." Okay, maybe you should get a better look at us then, since you're so impressed by our music." He offered nonchalantly his serious voice gone as if it hadn't been there. Lock was seriously strange I noted to myself.

Before I could deny the offer and walk away he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me hard threw the double doors, I lost my balance from the impact and fell, sliding a little on my back on the shiny gym floors.

I clenched my jaw and noticed the music playing had stopped and I looked over to find them all staring at me confused.

I groaned picking myself up from the floors and dusted myself off before glaring at Lock," What the hell?" I snapped.

He gave me a smug smirk before turning to the band. Listen up, looks like we got ourselves a snooper! he bellowed.

I gaped a little just as he turned to me.

"You know I wasn't snooping." I seethed, my eyebrows pulled tautly together on my forehead, giving him another intense but angry glare.

"Sorry Gareki but you should know that this contest thing is a serious deal, all the people that are competing into it are taking it seriously, which means I can't allow you running off from all that you've seen _**my**_ band do.

I clenched my jaw but stopped just now realizing what he had just said. I couldn't help but have a smile lift my lips. I pointed a finger at him skeptically cocking my head." Wait, so you mean to tell me that this, I gestured to the three people looking at us and turned back to him, This is your band?"

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "You sound surprised, or is this the fact that my band is better then Alex's.

All traces of the smile left my lips as I gave him a blank expression, feeling defensive about him mentioning Alex like that. " Are you challenging my boyfriend?"

"Doesn't take a genius to figure that out." he admitted, getting all up in my face and with out a care that his band was watching he ran his thumb over my bottom lip in a slow manner which I jerked and slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped.

He lifted up his hands to his chest in defense. " Relax, I guess you can't take a joke, but I was serious when I mentioned challenging your dead beat boyfriend-

"He's talented, more then you could ever be." I interjected in a cold voice with anger.

In the corner of my eye I could see Stormy walking up to us with a not so friendly look. She pushed her brother back and turned to him." Why would you bring him here?"

" Would you want him running off back to his own band and telling them what all he saw, we can't let this song be stolen from us."

" Stormy looked to me and scanned my face before turning back to her brother. " He isn't going to steal anything, let him go so we can get back to practice. You said it yourself, this whole rehearsal thing is important so we can't waste time.

Lock looked over to me with a blank face before sighing, I could tell his choice wouldn't matter in the situation." Fine, I take him out."

Stormy stepped aside as he walked over to me and held onto my shoulder firmly before assuring me out into the hallway. I heard the double doors to the gym slam shut behind us as he pushed me along with his firm hand still on my shoulder.

I grew annoyed by this. " You can let go now. I shrugged off his hand but then he reattached it and pushed me against a wall coming close to my face, breathing me in. It happened so fast I didn't have any time to react.

He stared at me intensely before saying, " just once", before he leaned into me and kissed me. My breath hitched in shock as I felt him enter my mouth. I struggled against his strong hold before letting out another surprised breath as his tongue ventured threw my mouth.

"M-move!" I managed to say once he pulled his mouth away from mine but not his strong hold. I could see the want in his eyes just like I had subconsciously remembered at D.C's party when I was drunk. He moved in again but was pulled back sharply and shoved to the other side wall.

I caught my breath in my throat to shocked and paralyzed to do anything by what he was going to do to me next. I slowly slid down the wall towards the ground where I sat dazed.

Alex yanked up Lock by the collar of his shirt before delivering a punch to his cheek before dropping him back down. He turned to me and headed my way.

He helped me up and I snapped out of it, not believing what was around me. Alex wrapped a strong arm around my waist before turning to Lock who was wiping his mouth, a trail of blood drizzling down his nose.

"Don't you touch him again." Alex said dangerously a threat evident in his voice. He walked away with me still only half dazed.

I watched the trees pass by us as he drove silently. The scene unfolded itself in my head over and over again until it was like a marathon in my brain cells.

" What happened back there?" Alex finally said. I was beginning to think he was going to let the situation go, like it hadn't happened but I guessed wrong.

We were headed to my house for the cleaning , he had told me both Nai and D.C were already there. Turns out while I was in detention they had stopped by my house and started cleaning until it was the time to pick me up.

I swallowed sensing the tension come off his body like a wave of heat. He was angry, not at me I hoped, it had been the second time I'd seen him punch somebody like that other then Mathew and his friends. Lock would remember it for sure.

"I was minding my own business when I over heard them rehearsing in the gym, they sounded really good. Lock caught me watching and we got into this sort of argument of who's band was better and I defended you since he said some pretty ignorant shit. Stormy was there she ordered me to leave so lock escorted me out, he caught me off guard and I didn't have time to react before his mouth was on mine and then . . .you came. Luckily."

"I can just imagine what he was thinking of doing to you, you said it yourself Gareki that he has sexual feelings towards you. Right?"

I sighed," Right , and I really wish he wouldn't."

"Any way, ' What were you doing in the school?" I asked since he did say he would wait for me in the car when he texted me in detention.

"You were taking to long , so I went to look for you. I'm glad I did too. He brought his grey eyes to me and he wasn't playing when he said this: I don't want you near him again, he's nothing but bad just trying to get close to you.

I didn't protest about this. Alex had a point for worrying about me nearing Lock, even I didn't want to go near him again, not because I was scared or anything- because I really wasn't but just because I didn't want him to kiss me again and possibly do something a lot more then just that the next time we crossed paths.

I cringed at the thought of me being vulnerable if Lock had me taken by surprise like that again.

I shook the thought from my mind as best I could before asking, " how much did you guys get cleaned?"

" We threw away most of the glass and the wine on the floors and cleaned off the counters in the kitchen, so I'd say we only got the kitchen cleaned, but Gareki your mom must of had a bigger party then you could of expected, it took us a whole hour to get the kitchen back to the way it was- that's how messed up it was. But I'm sure both Nai and D.C are cleaning the living room as we speak."

Alex pulled into the drive way of my house. I unbuckled my seat belt and picked up my phone to look at the time. 5:30PM, do you think we'll still have time for practice?"

"Of course. He paused for a second before looking at me again. How good was Lock's band?"

"Amazing. I answered truthfully, that's why I hoped our song for the contest would be way better then theirs.

Alex smiled at me" It will be." He answered confidently before getting out of the car.

I watched after him before getting out of the car as well following him up the stone stairs, he held the door open for me and I entered to smell as our combination of cleaning supplies and felt my eyes burn with tears as I felt like throwing up.

"You okay?" Alex asked me putting an arm around my waste.

I regained myself. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. What is that?"

He gave me an apologetic smile furrowing his eyes brows, "We sort of had to clean up some throw up in the bathroom down here. I'm guessing one of your moms friends did that."

"Ugh, That's so sickening." I mentally cringed at that before walking threw the foyer and into the kitchen to see both Nai and D.C throwing away many empty bottles of alcohol. I could see that the broken vase had already been cleaned up and thrown away.

Nai looked up at me and I felt the tension of what had happened earlier that morning drop down on me. He looked away from me, I looked to Alex.

" How are you and Nai?"

"It's awkward, that's for sure but we both said our apologies since we have no other choice but see each other everyday until the band contest. He told me that he's upset with you for telling me about the kiss thing, was it _ **supposed**_ to be kept secret?"

I could here an intense edge in his voice and I knew he was still bothered about Nai kissing me.

"No, it wasn't. And I don't like him saying it like it was meant to be a secret. It sounds selfish."

Alex puled me to the side, bake into the foyer out of view from both Nai and D.C who were busy picking up bottles.

"What?" I looked at him.

I could see him contemplating his thoughts. Does, Nai like you-

"No. I said quickly, a bit to quickly. Alex stared at me skeptically, his eyebrows coming together.

"I mean no. I said again but only more slowly. I asked him that but he told me that he didn't like me that way, he just got carried away and didn't realize what he was doing until it happened.

Alex sighed before saying" Okay, I believe you."

I nodded slowly giving him a assuring look," Okay, try not to worry about me."

"That won't be easy." he said with a cross of arms.


	44. Drinking The Pain Away

(PART 2)

I pushed back my hair that had fallen into my eyes. Gripping onto the trash bag I threw it over into the dumpster and dusted my hands off.

Sighing I turned to D.C." This better be all of it."

"Yeah, it is. Finally we got the whole living room cleaned. You should consider telling your mom not to throw any more sudden parties where people will just leave their junk and break stuff." She insisted with an annoyed roll of her eyes

We both went back inside." Agreed." I said flatly.

Alex searched under the couch for any left over bottles that we had missed during the hour long clean up and came lose with an iPhone.

He looked down at it curiously before holding it up to me." Uh, Gareki. This yours?"

I checked in my pocket for my phone and felt it's solid material. " No, I have mine."

"So do we." D.C said both her and Nai holding out their own phones.

I walked over to him and grabbed the phone from his grasp, looking over it I noticed that it was my moms phone. I lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

"What the hell is this doing here? I muttered clicking the on button but nothing happened- the screen stayed black. And it's dead."

"Why's your mom's phone under the couch?" Nai asked putting the pillows back onto the couch, the ones that weren't ripped to shreds.

"As if I know. I stated. It's not like her to just leave it behind like this."

Alex looked at the clock on the microwave before saying. "We're going to need to leave if we want to have enough time to rehearse guys."

"Yeah, sure." I said slowly in distraction still staring down at the phone wondering why she had left it, even if she had been under the influence of alcohol it had worn off that morning considering she was talking to me with out a slur in her voice, it just didn't seem right that she had forgotten her phone when she normally never forgot, some thing was up I had a bad feeling rising up inside of me it may have been faint but it was still there.

It was odd how the feeling just crossed over me so suddenly.

"Just let me return this, you guys go ahead." I offered. Taking a step on the stair case.

Alex stood up and dusted himself off." You sure, I can stay here and wait for you."

"No, thanks. I looked at him. It'll just be a second." I made my way up the stairs slowly. From down stairs I heard the front door close shut as my friends and boyfriend left to wait for me outside.

I made my way to her door that was ajar, I reached my hand forward to push it open but the door moved on it's own and opened all the way up and I felt a breeze hit my face and ruffle my hair back out of my eyes.

I took a breath in threw my mouth wondering why she had both her windows open. I shook my head and headed over to one of them, putting both of my hands on the seal then pushed it down before turning the latch to locked before moving on to the next one.

I still had the phone in my hand when I pushed down on it's seal but right when it was mid way down the phone slipped out of my lose hold and fell to the floor. I stopped what I was doing and crouched down to pick it up but right when I did so I stopped in my movements and gasped in shock as I looked under her bed.

"What the . . . ?!" I ended up on my hands and knees and pulled myself down for a better look at the packages on packages of alcohol, to be more specific it was wine and liquor. I lifted myself up quickly and up to my feet before throwing her phone on her bed and leaving her room stepping three stairs down before I stopped abruptly and slowly turned to my slightly open door. I had a very odd feeling about it.

I felt my pulse ignite with anxiety. I NEVER left my door open not even slightly. I blew out a breath before climbing the three stairs and into my room pushing the door open to see my bed was in a jumble of sheets and my blanket was tossed about as if people had. . .

I needed to burn those sheets _ **now!**_

"That's disgusting." I gasped and luckily for me nothing else was in disarray about my room everything was left the same as it had been, which was good. Praise the Lord for that.

I stared at my bed still not believing that my mom's so called _**'guests'**_ had done _**this.**_ Just thinking about it made me cringe in disgust and I literally wanted to throw up but once again I held it back by looking away and just leaving my room all together.

I kept my hand up to my mouth regaining my lunch before it flew out of my mouth. I took in calming breaths and left the house quickly. I needed to escape what all I just saw.

Alex jumped a little as I opened the car door a bit to quickly and sat down slamming it after me before I sighed and buckled myself in. " Can we please leave." I said desperately resting two fingers on the bridge of my nose while closing my eyes.

He looked at me his eyes showing concern . " Relax okay, What happened?"

I shook my head looking up at him for a second before I looked away still shaking my head in disbelief. " I'm gonna stay over your place tonight again if you don't mind."

"Sure, course you can, but that still doesn't give me an explanation."

I looked in the rearview mirror to see that Nai's car was gone." Where are they?"

Alex looked in the rearview mirror same as me before saying." They left for the studio already, they remembered the way." he replied giving me a perplexed expression backing up out of the drive way.

"I'm guessing your not going to explain to me." He furrowed his brows while giving me a cute small smile like he always did.

"Just give me a sec." I said quickly feeling my face heat up slightly.

We drove in silence for a few minutes until I was calm enough to say what I had seen.

There was so much alcohol. I said quietly still shocked by it all.

Alex looked over to me before turning back to the road." What?"

"In her room. There was so much of it, wine I mean. Like what was she doing with so much?"

"I'm not sure I'm following you."

"My mom had so much of it and not to mention what had happened in my room."

"Wait, what happened in your room?" he frowned.

"Sex in my own bed."

"Your Mom?!"

"No! Hell No. One of her guests did it in my bed."

Alex cringed." You need to burn those sheets!"

"Exactly what I was planning on doing."

"Good, but what about the alcohol, you said she had a lot of it?"

"Yes, is she nuts, it was package after package of that stuff under her bed." I stated.

"Your mom couldn't be an alcoholic, could she?" He asked.

"No, she couldn't be. She doesn't act like it at all, even if she was, I doubt she could play it off very well. She acts normal like she's been acting ever since I was born, no differently."

"You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, Alex I would know if she was an alcoholic and for the last past few weeks she hasn't been acting different or strange. She doesn't have any symptoms that an alcoholic does.

I really didn't understand what Alex was getting at. My mom wasn't an alcoholic and I knew that deep down. But the next thing he said had me shocked and changing my mind about what she wasn't into what she actually could be.

"Even threw losing two men that she loved, Jared and your dad?"

I gaped my eyes widening and I became silent just for a few minutes as I thought about it.

In truth I remembered how devastated she had been that night, and Alex had been there to see it all just like I had. It would make since if she were drowning away her pain with drinking alcohol. Now that I thought about it, when was the last time I ever saw her drink in the first place, I recalled that she never drank around me, maybe I had missed her doing it? I stopped my thoughts before they went to far into over thinking things and I controlled myself.

I couldn't just believe that she was doing this all because of that, there had to be some other reason, like maybe the alcohol wasn't hers and she was just. . . What am I thinking, it's exactly what Alex said It made since.

I needed to have a talk with her when I got home tomorrow morning definitely not tonight since I would be busy with homework and rehearsal and not to mention not wanting to be any where near my bed after what I saw it's state in.

"You okay?" Alex asked seeing my face still in shock, I must have stayed frozen like that and forgot I was making the face.

I blinked a few times returning my face back to it's normal plain look." Yeah, I'm fine. I shrugged. I just realized the car had stopped in front of the music store Alex worked in." We're already here?" I asked.

Alex blew out a short laugh before replying" Um yeah, you were frozen for a whole six minutes after I said that about your mom, was it really that surprising?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking about it and you may be right about the entire thing. I'm going to need to talk to her tomorrow morning to get the truth out of her before she leaves for work."

"Which means we'll have to wake up early again won't we?" he said unbuckling his seat belt.

I sighed exasperatedly not wanting to lose more sleep in the morning then I had to." Yeah." I dragged on the word in an annoyed groan.

"Well on the bright side, at least you'll be keeping me company." he smiled.

I smiled back" Yeah, ' what are you planning?" I joked pointing an accusing finger his way.

He laughed a short laugh again," Nothing , unless you want me too?"

"Oh, I think I want you too." I nodded slowly in agreement and before I knew it he leaned over and his lips were on mine, I kissed him back not holding myself back anymore then I had to and we kissed hard but comfortable until he pulled away for a second.

"Movie night sound good?" He breathed, his warm breath crossing over my parted lips.

"Sounds good. I said quickly with eagerness before I reached a hand up behind his head and pulled him back into me.

I had no idea why I was craving his lips all of a sudden but maybe it was because we hadn't kissed for a few hours. In the back of my mind it told me to pull away before we got carried away since that's what normally happened when we kissed longer then needed, but I couldn't do it, I didn't listen and Alex wasn't doing so either making it harder for me to quit.

I felt his hand run up my chest and stop before caressing the skin underneath I unintentionally moaned into the kiss.

"W-we need to stop. I gasped out after he pulled his lips away from mine after the sudden sound I made. I guess I was more sensitive then I had known.

"I'm sorry, you're right. We both need to stop this before it leads up to **-** "

"What are you guys doing?" Said a voice. We both turned to Alex's side window to notice D.C standing there with a lifted eyebrow.

Me and Alex immediately pulled away from each other.

"Nothing." I said before Alex could.

She gave me a skeptical look threw the glass window before sighing. " What ever, if you two are done then me and Nai are waiting in the studio."

"We'll be there." Alex said taking off his seat belt just as D.C turned and went back into the building.

I sat back in my seat with a huff. "Why do we keep getting caught every time we get close to doing _**' it' ?"**_

"I have no clue, but you do have a point, we _**do**_ get caught a lot."

I smirked and turned to him." We'll just have to be more careful. Right?"

He smirked back at me." Right."


	45. On The Case

**GothinBlack- sorry for my absence I got busy and had writers block but now I'm back. Enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

Hirato closed the door to his office and made his way over to his desk. The room was dark in some places thanks to the lamp on his desk that he found to be out of it's regular position.

His eyes squinted and he stopped in his tracks to stare down at his desk that had no signs of paper work on it, like it had been before he left for a quick assigning the other police squads out for night patrol.

An amused smile made it's way slowly to his lips as he stared at the dark outline of the figure standing in the shadows where his lamps light didn't reach the corner.

"I see you've found my request for your help." Hirato stated to the figure he stared back at him without blinking. It was clear that he was glaring at him.

The man threw a big zip lock bag on the table of Hirato's desk right into the light so he could see it.

Hirato's amused smiled changed into a thin line and he slowly looked down at the collected evidence. " What is this?"

The shadowed man finally stepped out of the shadows and into the light revealing a young face in his mid 20's with blonde hair and a serious face that meant business. He wore what he always wore when in the sights of Hirato. I white button up shirt, black tie and black slim slacks. His arms crossed over his chest.

When he spoke his voice was deep and serious. "You should know what this is, Hirato. I've already looked at the files for this lose man that you won't send warnings about and to know that he committed a murder the other day, is saying a lot about what a mistake you're making.

Hirato looked back up into dark violate eyes. I knew you'd get my request sooner or later, Yogi and this is why I called you before sending out any distress.

I quit your force a long time ago, Hirato, I work alone remember that. So don't expect me to except your asking me to fix this case for you and for those other policemen that aren't at my level of ranking skills.

"You are the best, that's why I need you on this case, no one else can do this but you." Hirato insisted.

Yogi stared at him sternly with an unblinking glare. "You never thought that I was busy with other cases?"

The amused smile was back on Hirato's lips. "we all know how much you love murder cases and this man has committed this." he pointed down at the evidence bag Yogi had brought in. And plus this man is after some one.

With the envelope in his hand he puled out a picture of the murder's son ' Gareki Igarshi.' You have to do this case, for him at least."

Yogi stared at the picture of the young boy and squinted his eyes. For some reason he felt a strong sense to protect this kid even if it meant getting himself killed. he looked up at Hirato slowly.

I take the case, but I'm going to need more info on this kid and send out warnings that way some people won't risk dying. Oh and next time don't try to use that to bate me anymore I would have come even if not the person had died.

Hirato nodded just as Yogi was about to leave he called after him.

"You're going to need a team."

I work alone, get that threw your head." With that Yogi left, shutting the door behind him.

00000000

I couldn't stop thinking about what I had seen in my mom's room. What I saw just kept replaying itself and I was bothered by it as soon as me and Alex stepped into the studio and he asked me to play the guitar solo with Nai at the drums and D.C playing bass guitar as well as he watched us with a hard and thoughtful look on his face.

He was thinking as he watched us closely. It was then that he held one of his hands up and told us to stop playing.

We all paused and I snapped out of my thoughts not really being down to earth as I should have been during the rehearsal.

"Why'd you stop us? D.C asked gripping onto the neck of her bass guitar. We were doing good."

Alex sighed." That's the problem, this song is supposed to be amazing, awesome even, this contest thing is important for Gareki's reputation at school so we're going to need to be better, but that's not why I stopped you guys." he said turning his eyes to me.

I cocked my head slightly to the left in confusion." What?"

"You're off note, Gareki." He stated.

I hadn't realized threw out the whole jam session I had actually been off key the entire time which was weird for me , because I was never off key, well. . .until now.

"Try to focus okay?" He asked. The way he looked at me told me that he knew what I was thinking about and that he was trying to secretly tell me not to worry about it now.

I nodded and he waved his hand silently telling us to start back over as he watched us perform again and this time I kept my mind cleared, I had to. There was no way I was going to deal with screw ups while on stage in front of so many people, and besides, our time was running short until the contest would start and we needed to be better then Lock's band.

We practiced and went over the basics of the song for a whole hour and we got to hear Alex sing the entire song that he had written, and he was right it was a pretty cool song that would definitely get the crowd pumped up.

I couldn't help but nod my head slowly to the beat of the music and the guitar play plus Alex's amazing vocals every time he hit a high note.

I effortlessly dropped myself down on the red recliner chair in the recording studio exhausted from all the practicing and recording.

"Are we done yet?" I asked turning my head to look at Alex sitting on the edge of the stage strumming random notes on his guitar. He looked up at me and replied." Yeah, good work today."

I shrugged," As soon as this whole thing is over then I won't have to worry about over working myself."

"It's worth it, though. D.C said putting her guitar in it's case. Especially since this is for the whole school to not take notice of that stupid picture of you and Lock."

"She's got a point." Nai said, I brought my eyes over to him in realization. I hadn't heard his voice ever since the fight thing with Alex. I wondered how the two of them were handling things even though they had apologized they were still distant with one another. But I was just glade that they decided to come to band practice and that Alex hadn't called the whole thing off all thanks to what Nai said.

And Alex had told me Nai didn't like the idea of me telling Alex that he had kissed me. I still didn't like the fact that he had said that, like of course I was going to tell Alex at some point even if things weren't exactly great with us at that moment in time.

I reflected on our breakup, something that I absolutely didn't want to relieve any of it . I mean every second of the days I had spent alone without him was like breath making it's way out of me and from the argument we had that seemed as though it was going to keep us apart for what seemed like forever. I was honestly just glad to have him back with me and I couldn't imagine what my life would of been like if he hadn't transferred to my school.

I wouldn't even be sitting here right now. . .

"Gareki?"

I looked up and saw Alex standing there with his guitar hung over his shoulder. We're about to leave to get something to eat, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I answered sitting up and getting to my feet grabbing my own guitar before putting it into it's case. I turned around to face him.

"let's go. I said but then added quickly. But we better not be going to that café that you took me too the other night."

He gave me a casual look. "Um, why's that?"

I shook my head slightly," Don't play dumb, the waitresses all want to jump in your arms so they can be carried away into some kind of sun set and that goes for the rest of the female customers in that restaurant.

Alex blinked at me as if he didn't know what I was talking about but he did, I knew he did.

It was then that he blew out a short laugh covering a fist over his mouth as he looked away from me.

I balanced my weight on one leg and put a hand on my hip with a roll of my eyes and sighed loudly clearly annoyed at him laughing in my face.

"ya know, you're being really rude. I stated glaring at him. I'm being serious here, _**Alex."**_

I said his named harshly trying to get his attention but every time he looked at me he would just laugh more.

I honestly never seen him laugh this hard before, his whole face was being from pale to red as he tried to stop.

I heaved a sigh once again turning to Nai and D.C who looked as if they really didn't know what was happening between us.

"I'd wait in the car." I suggested. and they both shrugged and went about there own business leaving us in the studio.

Alex was still laughing, it wasn't as strong as it had been at first but he was still in a couple of fits of small chuckling.

"Do you need me to slap you?" I asked feeling my face burn slightly with embarrassment. Honestly what was so funny about what I said, if I even said anything funny in the first place.

After hearing my comment he stopped laughing abruptly and stood up strait. " I'm sorry, but what you said just sounded as if you were really jealous and you don't have to be, if there's any one here who has to be it should be me.

"What? I furrowed my eyebrows. I completely need to be jealous since, well you know. **You**."

"Me?"

"Yes, **you**. You have so much of their attention and I really wished they wouldn't notice you since you are my boyfriend, I know that sounds selfish and completely unlike me to say that, but honestly would you want a bunch of girls staring at me from across the table and every where I went just because I had good looks, it's vice versa and no, you wouldn't want it because you'd be jealous just like me.

"And don't get me wrong, I completely don't want anyone's attention then I already have right now, I think it's way to weird to have so many people staring at you all because of you talent and your facial features." I stated.

"Half of what you just said is already true and not vice versa." Alex said crossing his arms with a little bit of a smile on his face. You already have them staring at you, you just don't see it because you give off this aura that you really don't want to be bothered. It's pretty intimidating actually and it does make me jealous.

I gave him a weird look. "That is not true."

"Tch, he gave out a breath of disbelief. Well of course it wouldn't seem true to you since you don't really notice it happening, plus Gareki you really aren't bad looking, I'm surprised that you act like you don't know that you're good looking."

I opened my mouth to say something but words didn't come out like I wanted them too and I shook my head slowly before saying. "Lets just end this conversation." I felt my face heating up all over again and I gripped onto my guitar case before exiting the studio with him having a smug smile as he followed.

"It's true~" He chanted.

"Whatever!" I waved a hand at him to drop the subject and this only made him laugh.

As promised Alex took all three of us to a different restaurant Nai and D.C having to follow his car to get here and we chose a simple four chair table.

The waiter came to us and we ordered what we wanted it wasn't a female this time but a man. I felt Alex's eyes land onto me after the waiter left our table. Silently making me remember our talk from earlier and I rolled my eyes again that day.

It wasn't true, I didn't have a face like that, or did I. I never really paid attention to what my facial features looked like so perhaps that's why I didn't notice I was good looking just as Alex had said. The old saying went that good looking people went after other good looking people I wondered if this is why Alex liked me in the first place, but then I rethought it, no Alex liked me for who I was but. . .I think I was just making this up. The truth was I had no idea why Alex even went for a guy like me.

Had he even said why he did before? I had no clue and I felt bad for a split second. I mean two people dating and then one person in the relationship doesn't know why the person chose to like them in the first place, I felt like I had missed something, something important. I needed to ask him later, definitely not in front of Nai and D.C that would just be plane awkward.

"Is this officially the first time that we've all eaten together?" D.C said pulling out her phone.

"Pretty sure it is." Replied Nai.

"Well then I guess this would be a good time then." she said looking at both me and Alex with expecting looks.

Me and Alex exchanged looks before looking back at her." What do you mean?" Alex asked her.

"What happened with Gareki's mom, you can tell me." she inquired with a lifted eyebrow.

My mouth formed an O." How did you kno-

"It's written all over your faces as soon as you two stepped into the studio I've seen you two give each other ' The Look '. "

Alex cocked his head in confusion. "Uh, ' The Look' ?"

"Yes, the one you guys always give to each other when you're trying to tell one another something, you do it every time I see you two. It's like you and Gareki have this secret language or something. So I think it's about time you spill."

Alex looked at me as if to say if I really wanted to tell them what was happening or what was possibly going to happen with my mom. I nodded my head and turned back to D.C.

I explained to them that earlier at my house when I sent them out to wait for me and I had gone in my mom's room to return her phone how I saw loads of alcohol hidden under her bed, none of it had been drunk up yet so that gave me the thought of her possible not going to drink it maybe she just had it for some friends and was just safe keeping it until they came back but then Alex explained to me how she could be suffering from becoming an alcoholic after losing both Jared and my dad.

I don't know for sure yet but there is a 100% chance that she is so I'm going to talk to her tomorrow to get the truth out of her.

D.C frowned clearly feeling bad for butting in my business." Jeez, that really sounds rough, I probably shouldn't have asked."

"Don't worry about it." I said shrugging.

"What are you planning on saying?" She asked.

"I figured I'd just be strait with her and asked what she's going threw. I don't know, I just really hope she isn't going to do what I think she's going to do."

"Good luck." she stated just as the waiter from earlier came back with our food and drinks and placed them down in front of us according to what we ordered.

"Will this be all?" He asked folding the red towel over his arm.

"Yes, thank you." Alex said as the waiter left us alone.

"Are you going with him?" D.C asked Alex, taking a sip out of her iced strawberry lemonade.

"Well I am driving him home in the morning so I guess I am going with him, if he want's me to anyway." Alex said picking up a frie.

Nai looked up from his phone which he had been staring at the entire time we had gotten here, avoiding the conversation.

D.C looked from me to Alex in surprise." Wait don't tell me, you're spending the night at Alex's? So doesn't that mean that you. . .

I shrugged not seeing the big deal about it." Yeah, I've done it with him a couple times now." I casually said.

Her and Nai's pale faces went to red within minutes of staring at us both. It took me a few seconds to realize what they misunderstood from what I last said.

"It's not what you think. what I meant to say was that yes, I've spent the night over his house a couple times now, nothing between us has happened." I restated carefully.

"oh, okay." D.C said her face returning to it's regular color and so did Nai's.

I sighed." You guys completely got the wrong idea.


	46. Intensity

**GothinBlack- warning for ages older then 13 lemon scene in this chapter.**

* * *

It was late at night, around the time of 11:59. Tomorrow would be Friday, finally the last day of the week that I wouldn't have to wake up early in the morning. Now I'd relax for two whole days and I could do what I wanted without worrying over homework or every ones eyes being on me and the occasional whisper of my name from gossip.

which still annoyed me to no end.

People still weren't over the details of D.C's party which happened weeks ago. You would think that this is high school and people there would easily find something else to gossip about in a matter of days, but no, Weslyn High was different, the kids here would keep something from a year ago and still possible talk about it.

It was annoying.

I was currently hanging upside down on Alex's bed with my head over the edge with my phone held up to my face sending texts to my mom. He had turned the lights off hours ago watching the movie on his TV in front of us on a Netflix account, munching on pop corn. That's what we did as soon as we got back from the dinner thing with Nai and D.C.

This would be our third movie and I had stopped watching all together once he put on _**Dead Pool**_. I had figured it would be a wise idea to text my mom to see what she was doing and if she wasn't having some out of line party again. Her texts were minutes passed mine, meaning she took forever to reply to each text I gave her.

This only caused my suspensions to heighten but then again maybe she was just busy doing something else and not drinking our having random people over to party. I sighed, it was a good thing I would be talking with her tomorrow to get her point of what was going on with her.

Finally I just turned off my phone and threw it off to the side in order to pay attention to the movie Alex was watching. I scooted myself off his bed and sat down next to him.

Knowing my presence was there he positioned the popcorn bowl in front of both of us so I could have some.

I took a few and plopped them in my mouth tasting the nacho flavored seasoning. My favorite, and apparently it was his too.

I had been showered hours ago as soon as we got back to his place and as usual, Alex gave me a change of his own clothing for me to sleep in.

The _**Dead Pool**_ movie was reaching to it's end as the main character won back the girl he had fallen in love with in a scene where everything was wrecked and crumbled apart. The movie was on the sarcastic side for the main character and I found what half I saw of the movie itself since I wasn't really paying attention all the way, to be funny. The guy reminded me of a second _Spider Man_ to be honest.

The credits rolled up the darkening screen and beside me I heard Alex sigh as he stretched before saying, "That wasn't to bad. What do you think?"

"Same as you." I shrugged laying down on my back, feeling the carpet beneath me touch my bare arms, since I was wearing a black tank top.

Alex sat up straight again before looking down at me. "Even though you barely watched it you still think it ' wasn't that bad' ?" he sounded as if he was accusing me.

I nodded unfazed by this and looked up at his darkened face. His room had grown darker since the brightness of his TV was over run by the dark back ground of the credits rolling up.

He shrugged." Whatever then, what do you want to do now? I'm all out of cool movies to watch."

"I have no idea." I said before the sudden question came into my head that I wanted to ask him earlier.

I sat up and came face to face with him, not realizing he'd be this close. I didn't bother moving though.

"I need to ask you something." I said seriously.

He looked concerned." Go ahead." He offered quietly.

"I need to know this, I thought about it earlier but then I couldn't come up with an answer for it, But I know there has to be some kind of reason of why you like me? I mean why would you want to be with some one like me?"

Alex gave me a perplexed look." What brought this on?"

"Nothing really, I just realized that I have no idea why a person like you chose to be with a guy like me. I mean I'm not like any normal guy that's out there." I answered looking away from him.

The perplexed look disappeared as he gave me a sincere one." Well to be honest, He started slowly. You just bring out the best in me, like when I first met you I was immediately drawn to you, I felt like you were going to be a person that would be dealing with some of the same stuff that no one else could possible understand just like I was. We both have our family problems, you with your dad and me with my deceased sister. He folded his arms over his chest before continuing, giving me a serious look.

When I'm around you I can just forget about it, the pain I felt when I knew she was gone it goes away when I'm around you. I like you because you're strong willed, confident, and you aren't afraid to say what's on your mind you're open with me and that's all I could ever want in a relationship.

Once again, Alex had me speechless. I stared at him my mouth hanging open. I could only stare and blink at him until I finally found my voice.

"That's. . .I paused and shook my head slightly trying to come up with words to say from my shocked mind before a small smile came over my lips uncontrollably. That's amazing."

He smiled back at me before leaning into me, up close to my ear and whispered. I have an idea of what we should do.

I felt his warm breath fan over my ear before I felt him bite down gently on my ear lobe. My smile slowly disappeared already knowing what he was silently mentioning.

"Oh." was all I could say as I felt the tip of his nose trail over my jaw line until he reached my mouth and kissed me and I held my breath immediately being taken away by his lips and instinctively my arms reached up and gripped his shoulders as his own touched my chest and pushed me down and suddenly we were on the bed him pushing me down on his maîtres as he kissed all over my neck and gently biting down on my skin.

I shut my eyes allowing this to happen as I leaned my head back to allow more access for the ticklish and enjoyable sensation.

My breath hitched suddenly as his roaming hand glided across my chest and over my sensitive nerve. Before his mouth was over mine again in a fast and heated kiss. Me biting his bottom lip as he gave out a short laugh before dipping back into kissing me fully.

My hands ventured under his shirt and up his smooth lean stomach before he gasped into the kiss as I ran both of my hands over his sensitive chest.

He panted ever so slightly as I kept touching him seeing his face change from concentration to pleasure and that only turned me on more. I could feel goose bumps roll down my body as he returned the favor to me.

I bite my bottom lip trying to hold a moan back not sure who would hear it and then I had just remembered something.

"What about your parents?" I asked breathlessly. Alex stopped what he was doing.

"Don't worry, they're out."

"Until when?"

"Not sure." he replied with a questioned look on his face before leaning down and kissing me fully again.

I closed my eyes feeling the tenderness as his lips pressed against mine before I leaned up and ditched my shirt and threw it on the floor some where and laid back down.

I felt his warm lips press against my bare skin constantly getting lower until he reached my belly button and I gave out a gasp mixed with a laugh. He smiled up at me before looking back down and leaning up before he ditched his own shirt and positioned his hands on the hem of my pants. He looked up at me to continue and I nodded after a few seconds.

The pants joined the growing heap of clothing on the floor some where and I felt his hands holding the last article of clothing I was wearing.

"Do you want to do this?" he asked for reassurance once again looking up at me.

"Lets do this." I replied and the last bit of clothing was gone leaving me up high.

The air hit me and I felt cold but comfortable. This wasn't the first time Alex had seen it.

Alex too discarded the rest of his clothing and of course this was my first time seeing him naked and I felt my face heat up after seeing the well defined muscles on his body and the perfectness of it all. His hair stood disheveled atop his head but that only made him more sexier. And his own excitement showed just like mine did.

He climbed over me, both of his hands resting on either side of my head as I stared up at him. My stomach was flipping with excitement and nerves, we were finally going to do this and not getting caught after we got this far. Apparently what I was feeling showed on my face because the next words he said related to it.

"Don't be nervous, you're doing fine." He muttered his face close to mine, almost our noses were touching.

I nodded wordlessly as he went lower and told me he was going to prepare me.

I frowned not knowing what he meant before I felt something enter me slowly, it was only one and my eyes widened in shock and my breath washed out of me.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah, you just surprised me." I answered regaining my breath. Relaxing my muscles.

"Okay, tell me if it hurts okay, then I'll stop, I'm going to be adding another so just prepare yourself." he warned.

He was right about preparing myself because the next entered me and I clenched the bed sheets taking in another quick breath.

"Try to relax for me." He suggested softly and I did as told as the two things that had entered me moved apart and stretched me for a good minute before he extracted them. I could breath easier again as he climbed back over me our faces coming together again.

" You ready for this?" He muttered. I felt something hard press against me and I knew what it was.

"Yeah." I answered as he leaned down and kissed me just as he entered me and I could feel everything, every movement penetration and emotion, it was intense and I felt good, I couldn't help but throw my head back and moan, not holding it back this time mainly because I couldn't.

"Alex." I gasped my face frowning up.

He stopped moving only half way inside." Am I hurting you?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck shacking my head. "No keep moving."

He did and I felt him all the way in me before he moved in and out the growing not in my stomache growing every time he did so. The excited nerves in my chest grew as well.

My arms tightened around him as my breath came in gasps and pants and suddenly everything grew hot and soon I found that me and Alex were both sweating. His face mixed with lust and pleasure as he looked down at me.

I pulled him down and I connected our lips together. his hand trailed down my chest slowly clawing it with his nails but not painfully just enough to get me excited even more.

His one arm was holding my back as he lifted me up slightly just as my head lolled back as I was in my element. We were actually doing this and it felt so unreal. I felt different like I was dreaming but I clearly wasn't as waves of satisfaction went threw my veins. I heard his panting breaths as he went faster making me furrow my brows by the intensity of his thrusts and I moaned again feeling even closer now and he was to.

From my repositioned hand against his chest I could feel his beating heart pick up speed. and suddenly something broke inside of me and released all that I had felt.

I could feel myself tighten around him and my one hand clenched his arm as I cried out in ecstasy closing my eyes tightly feeling it all rush out of me strongly and numbingly.

I felt something warm enter me but I didn't care it all just felt too good, as warmness fell onto my stomach and a subsiding ache was left in my lower regions.

Alex breathed into my neck as my faded vision stared up at the sealing, my mind blank for the moment. As my own beating heart throbbed in my chest.

This meant something, It wasn't just an act out of pleasure but here on out I knew that me and Alex couldn't be inseparable because. . .I loved him, I realized that now and he meant so much to me. If only I had known sooner that he would slip from my life forever.


	47. The Next Morning

Yogi opened his eyes the next morning, leaning upwards in bed.

A low breath emitted from him as he brought up a hand to finger the corners of his eyes. It was clearly 6:02 in the morning. This was a regular wake up call for him and he was completely used to it since he got up at the same exact time every day with out an alarm clock.

His body had been trained to wake up this early every day since being a cop never had it's resting points where some one wouldn't call him this early in the morning. He was lucky enough to say that he didn't have a call right now though.

Removing the covers from his half naked form he left the bed and placed his feet down on the dark carpet before making his way towards his closet.

The lights in his room automatically turned on as a computer female British voice spoke up from his security key code pad positioned all around his expensive Condo named Aloes.

 _"Good morning sir, how may I serve you this morning?"_

Yogi grabbed a simple white button up shirt with a black tie and his closet doors closed by themselves as he made his way towards the bathroom. " Morning, Aloes coffee would be great right now." he suggested as he hung up the shirt on the bathroom door hook before closing it.

Of course there was a key code pad in the bathroom as well. _" Is there a certain way you would like it, and may I suggest eggs with a side of toast for you. I haven't seen you eat for two whole days sir. I'm worried about your well being."_

"Do as you like, but I assure you I've been eating just fine."

 _" If you say so, I'll be off now until you are done with your shower."_ A beep came from the key code pad signifying that she had left into another room.

Yogi pushed back his hair as he splashed water on his face being rid of the lasting fatigue in his eyes before stripping the rest of his clothing off and stepped into the walk in shower before pushing down on a lever causing the shower to come to life.

Pushing the lever upwards, the water stopped. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off before wrapping it around his waist.

walking over to the white button up shirt he put it on buttoning it up all the way before putting on his tie and left the bathroom back into his bedroom before looking threw his drawers for black slim slacks and found some before putting them on, dropping the towel in a near by hamper.

Yogi pushed aside the sliding door and entered his living room soon coming into the kitchen where he sat down at one of the high chair. Looking ahead he could see the robotic hands of Aloes at work for his morning breakfast.

Aloes was just a robot, not an actual person talking to him on an intercom. She was just a computer security system that always provided needs and specific types of work to act on by the owner which was Yogi. she was a gift thanks to his hard work over the years which labeled him as higher ranked then most cops or detectives on the police force which he left a long time ago considering he hated the idea of teamwork, he worked better and faster alone, in addition to this he still kept his title since he still worked hard by himself and thanks to that hard work he was able to buy a place like this on his hard worked salary.

flipping open his work bag he pulled out the files for Mr. Igarashi said to be Gareki's father who had abused him.

That's what he had found out from the file report done on that man before he escaped jail. No one knew where they lived since all reports of that had been lost.

Aloes set down his coffee in front of him as well as a plate of breakfast. _" Enjoy sir."_

"Thank you." he said lifting up a photo of the kid named Gareki leaning his chin on the back of his hand as he examined it further.

No doubt the kid was in his teens, it was typical. Yogi would guess. . . 17 years of age possibly. Clearly he had to be in one of the residing schools in the area so there was always a lead to go on from there to reach him or Yogi could do milled research on where the kid lived.

Sighing he sipped at his coffee in deep thought. He didn't know why but he just felt a strong obligation to protect this kid and his mother he just needed to find them and there was no call from Hirato that signified that they had found and caught Mr. Igarashi.

Which meant he was still on the lose. Even if a warning had been sent out there was a strong possibility that Gareki or his mother would see it.

It was settled. "Aloes ?"

 _"Yes sir?"_

"I'm going to need you to tell me all the high schools in this area with a last name of Igarashi in enrollment ."

0000000000000000

"Gareki?" a voice whispered in the dark.

"Gareki, wake up." A firm hand ran along my tattooed arm causing me to quickly open my eyes and sit up straight in bed. It was morning and I was in a room not in some horrible nightmare that I constantly ran from that terrible man. Drowning in my own fears that felt so real to even escape from.

How long had it been since I had a nightmare, they were beginning to go away I guessed but then they would return a few days later.

"You okay?" Alex asked beside me wrapping reassuring arms around my chest from behind. I felt his chin rest on my shoulder before he gave me a fleeting kiss on my neck.

A reached my hand up and held onto his arm making sure that this moment was real and it was, no way would something this good happen in a nightmare, especially of mine.

I nodded my head silently saying an" I'm fine."

"Good, but you were mumbling something in your sleep." he stated quietly.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye. " What did I say?"

He hesitated for a second before answering my question. " You were saying stay away from me, don't come any closer, and you were trying to fight but your body only jerked a couple of times."

I nodded." It was just a nightmare." I replied.

" I didn't know you still had those. why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know I still had them either. They haven't been happening for a few days so I thought they were finally gone." I said.

" I'm sure you'll just need time to forget and once that happens your nightmares will disappear too." he reassured calmly.

" You have a point." I said feeling him unwrap his arms from around me before getting out of bed completely naked.

I sighed as I came to the realization of another day for me to face before I got out of bed as well.

"How are you feeling by the way, from last night I mean?" He asked once we got into his car from showering and getting dressed.

I buckled in." I feel. . . different honestly like I've just concurred something that I'm completely foreign to. I didn't know I'd feel like that."

He looked at me a little surprised." Have you ever done anything uh . . .sexual?"

"No and why would I, last night was the first time I ever felt that kind of way."

" Wow, you have no idea how special you are to me right now." He said with a hot grin on his face as he pulled out of his drive way.

I was confused by this. Maybe he felt that way because he just took all of my first experiences last night during that one intimate moment which oddly enough I felt pride that he had, since it felt right to do it with him.

000000000000

We came up to my house and left the car, going inside to see my mom at the counter in the kitchen with a glass of red liquid as her fingers were pressed against her forehead with her eyes closed.

I stopped by the stair case and Alex did too. Equally surprised by what he saw.

She felt a presence and turned her eyes to me, they showed nothing like she wasn't feeling anything.

"What are you doing?" I asked looking over her. She wasn't even dressed in her work clothes but in unmatched T shirt and crumbled jeans her hair was in a messy bun and her eyes were dark from smeared eyeliner as well as a pink trail from the corner of her lips from lipstick.

Her finger traced itself around the top of the clear glass as she continued to stare at me blankly. " Gareki, is that you?" she slurred.

I cocked my head. She was obviously drunk and I didn't want to see her this way. Walking over to her I placed my hand on the glass and pushed it away from her only to have her grip my wrist and yell.

"No!, ' Don't take it away from me!"

She forced my hand back over to her.

"Mom, stop it this isn't you." I pulled my hand free from her grasp with the glass and pored it's contents in the sink and set the glass down. I turned back to her to see her eyes glaring at me.

"I can't believe you." She said covering her eyes with her hands.

"Mom, what's going on with you?" I asked coming up to her, concern on my face. Her hands left her face bringing her cold eyes back to me. This was the first time I ever saw her look at me like that I was taken aback by it. Then she yelled again.

"It's not like you could ever understand, they left me, they always leave in the end!"

" of course I understand, dad left both of us and Jared had to leave, you can't take this out on yourself by drinking."

She moved away from my reassuring hand before saying quietly. "You saw it didn't you?"

I couldn't say anything.

"The alcohol under my bed. It's not what you think, I planned to stop and only drink it when I was feeling alone, not because I have a problem. She moved her eyes to me before accusingly saying. you thought I had a drinking problem didn't you?"

" You were hurt, so that's what I considered but I wasn't 100 percent sure if that was actually happening to you." I answered truthfully.

She shook her head, " I don't have a drinking problem, even if I did do you think I'd put you threw that, I wouldn't."

She got up from her chair and went into the living room and laid down on the couch covering herself with a blanket.

"I didn't want you to see me like this, so please just leave."

"I can't leave you like this, that alcohol is messing you up, you never act like this and I want you to get rid of it. . . _**ALL**_ of it and promise me that you won't drink like this again." I said seriously stepping in front of her on the couch before crouching down so our eye levels could meet.

"Fine." she said before closing her eyes falling asleep.

This situation was bad, I only hoped that she would listen to me. I stood up and turned to Alex.

"We should go."


	48. Over Whelmed By Anger

**GothinBlack**

 **Views- 1,847- thank you for enjoying and continuing to read this book means so much to me. (:**

* * *

My frustration was taking over me in gym later that day. I couldn't stop thinking about that morning, about what she had done to herself.

I had never thought she would do something like that. She never drank, or at least I thought. I wondered constantly why complicated situations kept happening in my life. Did I deserve something like this?

I honestly didn't know what my life was turning into. I never wanted to believe that my own mom was an alcoholic but honestly the thought of it stayed in the back of my mind as a possibility. I really hoped she would listen to what I had told her that morning and really get rid of all that alcohol.

I even decided to myself that I would go back home after school to make sure it was gone. After leaving my house that morning I couldn't say anything to Alex I was to dumb founded by what happened.

I guess I really hadn't expected that to happen. It reminded me of the night when Jared had to leave and she raised her voice at me to leave. that had been the first time she ever yelled like that to me, but now it was the second.

I remembered just by me touching the glass and moving it away from her she yelled at me to not take it away from her like it was some sort of life line to make things better. Perhaps that was what she felt like the alcohol could do for her, was make her feel better.

If that was the case then I would definitely need to go see her after school today. But of course I was still frustrated by the thoughts crossing threw my head.

So much had happened through so many weeks and I didn't know if I could take much more of all the drama and stress. It all felt like it was weighing down on me.

"Gareki !" yelled the coach the third time finally getting my attention from the bench I was sitting on.

"You're in, take Chad's place."

I got up just as one of the players from soccer practice named Chad sat down replacing my seating spot and I walked on field and into position for the next on play. I looked up from my position to see Alex giving me a small smile like he usually gave me but I was to caught up in my thoughts to notice it fully or return it.

I heard the faint sound of the coaches' whistle sound off and the visitor team got the ball first heading strait for our goal.

I looked up for a split second to see who was all on my team and could see that Alex was, along with a couple others.

He was running speedily after the player who had taken the soccer ball and my body acted on it's own guarding another player from the visitor team from getting the ball just in case he decided to pass it and he did but to another player on his team since one of my own team mates had blocked his path.

But I quickly blocked his pass and kicked the ball around two other players before they could even get their feet on it, I headed in the opposite direction which was the visitor's goal. As I did this I was still so consumed by my own problems from earlier that still couldn't find their way out of my mind.

I become angry, angry that my life had turned out like this. I had already lost my dad and now I was going to possibly lose my mom because of her resent alcohol problem, which I knew she wasn't going to give up so easily since she was so hurt by the two men that had left her.

I got blocked easily by two other players from the other team.

"Gareki !" a voice called out. I looked up to see Alex open.

I glared down at the ball feeling my fist clench and my body grow hot with the anger I had been feeling. I needed to get rid of it, I placed my foot in position and kicked the ball as hard as I could. Not paying attention for who ever it was aimed at.

The two guys that had been blocking me quickly moved out of the way falling to the ground from their own swift movements but one of my teammates wasn't so lucky.

My body grew from hot to frigid just for a split second as I watched as the soccer ball hit Alex who stood not fast enough to move out of the way was hit in the face with the ball and flew backwards on the grass. . .unmoving. From my view point I could see blood coming from his nose and the corner of his mouth and my blood rain cold from the remembrance scenes from my nightmares of seeing him dead at my own two feet.

I fell to my knees my face completely shocked, my eyes wide as my mouth gaped open. I could see my team and the other team running towards him yelling his name.

A wind blew behind me ruffling my hair in my face as well as my T shirt and gym shorts. Oh God, what had I just done? I had heard of severe accidents that happened in soccer and I definitely hadn't kicked the ball softly for none of them to not happen.

The next thing I knew I had gotten to my feet and pushed people aside and was crouching down in front of his body with both my hands on either side of his face.

"Alex, can you hear me?!" I let go of his face and held onto the back of his neck instead.

His head lolled back with out a reply.

"Oh no." I breathed in panic before I was pushed aside by the coach who told us all to back away so Alex could get air and I saw him being lifted up by two class mates by the arms towards the nurse's office.

Class went on as if nothing happened but I knew something had happened, it kept replaying in my head causing me to become distracted and easily end up tripping over the soccer ball that came rolling my way and I landed hard on the ground.

I slowly picked myself up and looked down at the grass. Was my life honestly made out of disaster moments waiting to happen to me?

I didn't understand it, Did some ones life ever had to be filled with so much drama that they had to deal with this every day and not completely fall apart.

I got a scolding from the coach after gym was dismissed. He told me to stay focused and to not ever cause an incident like that ever again or else I would end up in detention and I didn't want that again.

Once I got into Band class I sat at the piano pressing down on random keys as I told both Nai and D.C what had happened.

"bout time you got him back for hurting you during that breakup." Nai said dryly.

I pursed my lips and glared at him making him shrug and type away on his phone. I snatched it away from him causing him to look up at me. " Hey!"

"Hey your damn self, what's your problem with Alex anyway, I thought you guys were okay with each other now." I said with edged anger in my voice.

Nai blew out a breath looking the other way and not bothering to answer my question.

"So you're staying silent now?" I asked. He turned back to me giving me a hard look.

"He doesn't deserve you."

I opened my mouth to say something but became speechless as I registered what he had just said." What the hell are you talking about?"

D.C looked between both of us not sure how to interfere with the heated conversation. "Guys come on, you shouldn't be doing this- "

"No. I interrupted. I want to know what he means." I squinted my eyes dangerously at him.

"He isn't good enough for you, Gareki, don't be angry with me because I'm saying the truth."

" And you're supposed to be any better, is that what you're trying to say?" I asked angrily.

" Yeah, I would be way better then him any day and any time, I still don't understand why you like a guy like that."

"Nai !" D.C interjected silently understanding that I was getting angrier by the minutes he kept talking.

The class was to busy chatting and playing their instruments to notice what was occurring by the piano.

"What?, He needs to hear this D.C Alex isn't as great as he seems-

I was out of my chair and had his collar in my hand in seconds. I heard D.C get out of her chair and stand next to me with a grip on my upper arm.

"Gareki, listen to me, calm down okay." She said calmly. But I wasn't listening.

The class was watching us now.

I glared into his eyes and his in mine. We were close, faces inches apart. " You _**don't**_ know him and you'll never understand the things he's gone threw for me and for himself, so I think it's about time for you to stop being jealous of him and worry about your damn self. I'll be damned if I let you talk about him that way again. So leave him alone. _**Got it."**_ I said through clenched teeth shoving away his shirt causing him to move away from me.

I glared at him as I backed away and grabbed my back pack along with my guitar shrugged it on and left the room heated with anger. Not even caring if passing period wasn't dismissing me yet.

I sat on the highest seat on the medal bleachers out side, my head leaned back against the medal gate as the wind blew softly threw my hair with my eyes closed.

I didn't want to come back to the field where Alex's accident had happened but I needed a quiet place where no body would interrupt me. I had been sitting out here for possible hours all the way threw lunch period and threw 6th and 7th periods of class. I couldn't bring myself to get up, not yet at least.

Today wasn't a good one, Most of what happened I couldn't believe was actually reality but it was. My mom having a need for alcohol to drown the pain out, Me not able to control my anger in time to not strike the ball at Alex which could've cause brain damage for him, and then the sudden jealousness of Nai fighting with me over Alex.

What was my life coming to? I didn't know how many times I had asked myself that today and I couldn't believe it had taken me this long to realize this.

I shook my head reaching in my pocket and pulled out my phone to look at the time only to see that school had just dismissed a minute ago.

I literally skipped half the day off school. Unbelievable.

Sighing I got to my feet and walked down the bleachers and back into the school building quickly walking threw the empty gym and threw the double doors following the remaining students down the hall until I reached the nurse's office and went inside.

Mrs. Wellens Sat at her computer desk and looked over to me once I entered. " Can I help you?"

I looked over to her just now noticing she was sitting there. "I'm looking for Alex."

"Alex who?" She inquired.

'Thorne." I relied.

She nodded and pointed to the third white curtain. "He's in there."

I took a step forward but then stopped and turned back towards her. " How bad is he?"

She sort of gave me a flat smile that immediately went into a thin line." All I can say is whoever hit him with that soccer ball sure did hurt him pretty badly. Poor kid." she went back to typing at her computer before her phone rang and she picked it up to answer.

And I slowly turned back to looking strait ahead feeling anxiety wash over me like a wave. " Yeah. . ." I said silently knowing full well that it was me who had done it.

I continued my way threw the wall of curtains remembering what she said about the third one and I stopped in front of it. Reaching a slow hand up not yet touching the fabric just yet.

I collected myself before grabbing onto them and slid them away to see Alex turn to me and I saw his nose and flinched backwards at the sight of the bloody gauze covering it.

The breath escaped me and I shook my head slowly in disbelief as I stared at him wide eyed before turning away and walking away quickly.

"Gareki?" he called after me and I stopped with a hand covering my mouth wandering why had I even wanted to stop in the first place to see the stupid mistake I had done to my own boyfriend.

I looked up to see that Mrs. Wellens had left the room. As to where she had gone, I had no idea but maybe it was an important call.

I heard foot steps behind me knowing full well they were Alex's.

"Gareki?" he sounded close, right behind me actually.

I didn't turn to look at him I just kept the hand over my mouth closing my eyes tightly to get rid of the memories from what I had done to him earlier that had caused this.

"look at me." he continued quietly.

I stayed facing forward.

"Please." he insisted.

Very slowly I faced him, opening my eyes and dropped the hand away from my lips.

I was brought faced to faced with his covered nose and now I could see the small gash in his bottom lip, it had been cleaned but was still red.

My eyebrows furrowed and I looked down." I'm sorry."

" It's not as bad as it looks Gareki, trust me- "

"It's broken, isn't it?" I interrupted.

He paused staring at me before sucking in his bottom lip and answered quietly." yeah. . .it is."

I swallowed hard and clenched my fists. " I can't believe I did that."

Alex stayed quiet for a few seconds before asking." What happened to you out there?"

" I was over whelmed with everything that had happened to me for the past month and a half and I couldn't handle the anger any more so I took it out on the ball and it turns out you were in it's line of aim. I'm really sorry about this."

He shrugged with a smile coming to his face. I've been threw worse things then this. Not a big deal."

I looked at him as if he were nuts." Are you kidding ! I hit you with a soccer ball that could have snapped your neck and you're saying it's _ **' no big deal '**_ like hell it is!"

"It doesn't hurt, I've literally been threw more painful things then this. They put me on pain killers and I'm going to need surgery of course but nothing compares to this as it did when I was a kid with my sister."

I was going to say something else but shut my mouth remembering him telling me of the tortures he went threw with his sister and the people who had kidnapped them at such a young age and now I understood what he meant by worse things then this.

I nodded slowly and decided to drop the subject." Do you have everything here?"

"Yeah. They had to send my stuff down."

I nodded. knowing full well that I couldn't go home after school, not yet since he needed medical help. I sighed. lets go to your house and tell your parents about this rather it doesn't hurt or not I don't care, you're getting that nose fixed.

He smiled at me." Protective much?"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his back pack," Shut up, you're my boyfriend I'm supposed to worry about you."

I decided not to tell him what Nai had said today until later on when things weren't based on getting him to a doctor. Seemed to me we'd be skipping practice today which was fine, I didn't want to see Nai's face at the moment I was still heated about earlier.


	49. Incapability

I sat in the waiting room along with Alex's parents who sat patiently next to me, quietly murmuring under there breaths about what the doctor had said about the surgery on Alex's broken nose.

Luckily the only thing on his face that had been broken was his nose and nothing else. The doctor of course asked us what had happen to him that had caused this to happen. Which I told them the exact lie Alex had said to his parents.

Once we got back Alex had told them both that he had an accident in gym during the exorcises instead of telling them that I had kicked a soccer ball at his face which I still felt guilty of, I even had tried to tell them the truth that I had done it but he stopped me.

Saying it was best to just lie about it, I guessed he didn't want his parents thinking wrong of me for doing something like that to there own son, so I kept quiet.

Earlier I texted D.C telling her that band practice would be called off today. She had asked me how I was dealing with what happened earlier with Nai and me.

I responded with an I'm still pissed about that and left it at that.

I didn't know what had gotten into him so suddenly, He had been acting fine yesterday but now. . . he was jealous, or at least it seemed that way. I didn't get it and I didn't know if I would ever.

I was 100 percent sure he had told me in the car that day he had kissed me that he had no type of feelings for me, but now I was starting to see other wise. Maybe he just felt competitive with Alex. he did seem jealous. Or maybe he was just looking out for me.

Recalling what he had said to me earlier in band class, he mentioned that Alex wasn't good enough for me. I guess it was because of the argument and the break up thing that had happened between us that made Nai feel this way.

But he didn't understand, the whole reason why me and Alex had broken up was because I didn't allow myself to trust him when he told me the truth about Stormy, and for that he was offended and he ended things with me. I was the one at fault for not trusting him, I now knew that but still I couldn't bring myself to forgive or forget stormy kissing him. That memory didn't exactly burn in the back of my mind like I had intended it to.

But anyway Nai must have gotten the wrong idea and thought the whole thing was Alex's fault.

Things were weird with him, Nai I had expected to be a person that wouldn't cause trouble especially between me and Alex, that was supposed to be Locks job. Nai had seemed different from when I first met him and now he was becoming a person I wasn't familiar with. Now that I thought about it I wasn't sure if I should tell Alex of what Nai had said to me today I could handle it on my own rather then getting him involved and potentially start a real fight this time.

I sat back in my chair and rested the back of my head against the wall redirecting my mind on other thoughts as we continued to wait for Alex to come out of the medical room for what had seemed hours of waiting.

I had texted my mom earlier but she hadn't replied which put me on a slight edge of anxiety. I wondered what she was doing right now, and I could only hope she was doing like I had asked of her that morning.

Maybe once I left the hospital I could go back home and check on her. I was trying to assure myself that she was still sleeping on the couch, by the way she had looked it was as if she had drank a lot of alcohol and it would make since if she were still sleeping it off.

My eyes roamed over to the TV plastered against the upper wall showing some television comedy show that I wasn't familiar with. I never really watched TV that often especially since my schedule had been crammed up with things to do and I normally missed everything they showed.

The more I stared at it the more my eyes grew with fatigue, it had been a busy day for me and now it was finally showing. In the background I could here the TV change into a news report, about something important that had happened nights ago and to be on the lookout for a man with an intention of murder . . .

That was all I heard before drifting off to sleep.

 _The next time I had opened my eyes the hospital halls were dark only having a couple of lights on creating an eerie feeling like it would seem in a haunted movie._

 _I was only still half way asleep when I blinked my eyes open to look up at one of the dull flickering lights above me. I frowned thinking my surroundings were strange._

 _I looked down at myself. I was still sitting in the waiting room. . .but Alex's parents were gone and everything was silent except for the light repeatedly flickering above me._

 _I slowly blinked again looking up at the flickering light once more before positioning my hands on the arm rests of the chair and pushed myself up to my feet._

 _I turned around to look down the left hallway and noticed oddly enough it was an image of my house as if it was some sort of portal that lead strait towards it._

 _I turned my body around fully to face it and suddenly was overcome with the feeling to walk forward. . . and so I did._

 _But as soon as I did a strong wind blew at me and felt a horrified cry ring threw my ears making my hands instinctively come up to cover them both tightly but no matter how hard I tried to drown out the noise it just got louder ._

 _I shut my eyes tightly at the grieving sound of the voice yelling in horrified pain and grief the weeping filled my ears then and I realized it was a guy crying._

 _I didn't want to be there any longer then I had to. I couldn't handle the sound of grief in that much pain._

 _I turned around, where I had stepped threw from the hospital only to find that it had disappeared and my only way back was gone._

 _I quickly turned my head back around hearing a familiar name whisper in my ear._

 _Alex. . ._

 _"Alex?" I muttered in question my eyes darting from left and right desperately wondering where that voice had come from. it was then that I notified the voice to be mine, the exact same voice that had been screaming in horrified grief in fact that voice was still screaming._

 _My world around me was spinning as I looked around myself looking for where the voice had come from._

 _Everything was spinning even when I had stopped turning, suddenly it stopped and I was in front of a barn watching it burn._

 _There was a person in front of me_. _His white T shirt was blood stained_ _and ripped in places and so were his black jeans. His black hair blew in the slight wind disheveled as his hand held his arm where_ _it was bleeding down his forearm only to slid down his knuckles and into the tall grass below_.

 _I heard him weep quietly as he stood there continuously watching the barn burn._

 _I didn't know him and I wondered who he was but as I got closer and rounded in front of him to see his face, I noticed it was me!_

 _I took a shocked step back. What the hell was happening?! what was I doing here?!- No what was he doing here?_

 _He stared at him still in shock that I was looking myself in the eyes with out the need for a mirror. his eyes were so sad and tears_ _ran down his cheeks all the way down to his jaw line as he stared at the fire not focused on me at all._

 _Did he even know I was looking at him up close like this, The way he stared told me that he didn't even know I was here._

 _My shoulders sunk and I turned to the burning barn looking at the shattered wood fall to the ground. What had happened here I felt as if this was some sort of upcoming life experience as if this was my future as strange as it sounded It felt oddly right to think this way._

 _"I'm sorry. . .Alex." Said the person that looked exactly like me or should I say_ _ **was**_ _me but in a different time._

 _I swiftly snapped my head back to him and saw him lift up a dark red bracelet before sliding it on and snapping together the silver clasp on his bloody wrist._

 _Behind me I heard the barn completely break down in a heap of burned wood and glass._

My breath hitched in my throat as I quickly sat up in the waiting room. My breathing came in gasping breaths as I couldn't get enough of it threw my nose so I had to breath threw my mouth.

My eyes darted upwards looking up at the TV that was showing some comedy show again. I sat back in my chair, by now I had caught my breath but my heart was still beating vigorously in my chest and I knew it'd take some time for it to calm down again.

"Are you Alright?" Asked Dirrah who was sitting next to me.

I nodded absently not knowing what to say because I really didn't know if I was alright or not but I had to give some kind of answer.

"I just need a drink, I'll be right back." I stated before getting up and leaving to find vending machine.

I crouched down and grabbed my soda out of the slot after paying and stood up looking down at the bottle in my hand. Now I was caught up in my thoughts.

That dream hadn't been scary at all, it was just. . . strange? I didn't get it, why had I felt like it was some life experience that was going to happen, that wasn't possible never had I ever heard of some one dreaming up their own futures.

The burning barn, the tears I had seen on the other me's face, and the odd whisper of Alex's name being said by him. what was the other me screaming and crying about in such a sad way.

And why hadn't my dream been about my dad like it always had been, not saying that I miss them or anything I'm glad my nightmares decided a different change of pace but this was going to far. That dream was just weird and there was no way it was coming true like I felt like it would.

I began to walk back to Alex's parents and when I got back I saw Alex coming out of the medical room with the doctor right behind him.

His nose was wrapped with white bandages and his face was sort of pale but other then that he was smiling which made me happy deep down.

I'm glad he wasn't mad at me for kicking the soccer ball at him even though I knew I deserved his anger for doing that to him. I should have just calmed myself down and none of this would've happened.

I still couldn't grasp the fact that he thought it was fine, I know he had been threw much more horrible things then getting hit with a ball when he was kidnapped as a little kid but still I just felt like he would've been angry about it.

I walked over to them and he looked up at me and smiled bigger.

The doctor explained to us that the bandages should be taken off in about a week or so and make sure he had the painkillers every night and morning.

With that his parents gave him a scolding about being more careful in gym from then on out.

We left the hospital about to head back to his house until he stopped me and turned back to his parents.

"I'm gonna go ahead and drop Gareki off okay, I'll be back home soon."

They agreed and set off in the opposite direction.

Alex turned back to me. " let's go." he pulled away from me and entered the drivers seat of his car.

I got into the passenger seat and buckled in before asking. "What'd you do that for?"

"Do what?" he turned the key in the ignition.

I looked out the window noticing it was getting dark the sun was already setting behind the trees.

"Dropping me off home." I replied turning back towards him.

He gave me a hesitant look before saying." You need to be with your mom, I know I haven't really said much about the situation that she's currently dealing with but it's best to say that you should be with her."

I didn't doubt his suggestion, truthfully I did need to be close to her right now especially since she still hadn't called or texted me back, I needed to know if she was ok.

I nodded and we set off to my house.

I opened the front door and tried to twist the door knob only now noticing it was locked, pulling out my key I unlocked it and pushed the door open wide so Alex and I could walk inside.

And as soon as we did we smelled seasonings and the sizzling of meat being dropped into a pain.

I paused not sure if I wanted to know what was happening in the kitchen now.

"Come on." Alex gave me a light shove and I began walking towards the kitchen and stopped in the door way to hear laughter. Two women laughing to be more specific.

"Mom?" I asked stepping into the light and she and her friend turned to me and Alex.

she looked normal, and by normal I meant wearing a dress from work and didn't look to be disheveled.

Her dark magenta hair was pulled up in a bun instead of in a frizzed up mess and she wore light makeup.

She looked healthy unlike she had that morning with her eyes red and baggy.

She smiled at me." Welcome home Gareki, hey Alex."

"Hi." Alex replied smiling back at her.

I lifted an eyebrow and cocked my head." Are you okay, mom, you didn't answer my call?"

She gave me an apologetic look. Sorry but this morning I was in a rush to get to work and I must have left it on my bed."

I paused once again this time at the mentioning of her going to work. This whole time I had thought she had stayed home and slept the alcohol off.

"Oh, well that's fine." I shrugged turning to the young women sitting in one of the bar chairs looking at me smiling.

My mom's eyes averted to her friend before deciding to introduce us.

"This is Iris. She's a work partner of mine."

Iris held out her hand to me." Nice to meet you Gareki."

I shook her hand." Same." I said slowly, wondering how she knew my name.

Iris noticed my concerned face and answered.

"You're mother has told me a lot about you, she looked to Alex and shook his hand as well, it's nice to meet you too Alex, she also told me a few things about you as well."

He nodded and I could tell he was taken by surprise by this. I was too, I hadn't expected my mom to talk about me with other workers.

"By the way, Alex are you staying for dinner?" my mom cut in.

Alex looked up." No, sorry I've got to get back home right about now."

"I'll take him out." I offered as he turned out of the foyer and headed towards the door.

She nodded and I went after him.

Alex stopped and waited for me at the door.

I shut the door behind us as I stepped onto the porch. I put my hands in my pockets and turned to him.

"Well that was unexpected." I stated.

" You're telling me." he said.

I leaned against the rock pillar." How's your nose?"

He smiled slightly." It's alright, kind of starting to hurt but, he shrugged. I was kind of wondering when your mom and Iris were going to say something about it but they never did.

"Ohh, I bet they've noticed." I said slightly smirking.

It was then that his phone chimed in his pocket, pulling it out he looked at it and put it up to his ear.

"Hello?"

...

"Yeah, I'm still here."

...

Alex's eyebrows creased together." Does it have to be now?"

...

He nodded." Fine, I'll be there in a few minutes, bye." He clicked it off and put the phone back into his pocket looking back at me.

"Sorry, I need to go."

"Important?" I asked.

"No, my mom just doesn't want me out at night all that much, he said slowly before hesitantly adding. . .she still has nightmares about the time I got kidnapped."

I nodded in understanding. "Okay, you should go." I moved away from the stone pillar just as he came up to me and kissed me long and deep before pulling away leaving my lip's tingly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, call me ok?"

I nodded." yeah."

I watched him leave down the road before going back inside I heard Iris and my mom talking and I was about to head up the stairs when my mom stopped me.

" Oh Gareki, what happened to Alex's nose, I thought it'd be rude of me to ask while he was here."

"I kicked him with a soccer ball on accident." I answered truthfully before making my way up the stairs. I figured that I should at least tell my own mom what really happened.

I heard them continue talking as I entered my room which had felt like I hadn't been in for a few days.

I looked at the bed to see a new set of sheets and blankets and a pillow placed a top of it.

Had mom known some of her guest had had sex on my bed? She must of. As to my other blankets and sheets I didn't care what happened to them just as long as they were as far away from as possible.

I took a step back out of my room and looked down the hall towards her bedroom and noticed it was slightly ajar.

I quietly made my way over to it and pushed her door open and quickly looked under her bed holding my breath to what awaited me and saw that all the alcohol I had seen was gone.

I pulled myself up to my knees, completely surprised that she had listened to me. So she didn't have an alcoholic problem and I had been right.

I felt relief hit me and I got up to my feet and turned around to see her standing in the door way. My mom.

I looked away from her." Sorry , I just needed to check."

"You don't have to worry, I'm fine now really, I guess your words just snapped me out of it."

I smiled at her." That's good to know."


	50. Reasons

" So you say that's she's changed?" Alex's voice spoke from the other end of my phone.

It was currently the next morning around 11:30Am.

"Yeah. Last night, you saw her, how different she acted." I clarified marking words down on my homework assignment due Monday.

Alex didn't answer me right away so I had to call his name to make sure he was still there.

"Alex, you still there?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking. . ."

"About?" I inquired.

"I'll admit she has. . .uh, _**changed ."**_

I lifted an eyebrow at the way he had said it, his voice sounded unbelievable. "Why'd you put it that way?" I asked stopping my pencil from writing.

" Don't you find all this to be strange, that yesterday morning she was completely out of it and wasn't herself but then suddenly she's all over it as if it never happened." he replied back trying to prove his point with facts that pretty much did make sense.

I didn't know why, but I kind of felt offended by the way he had said this." What is that supposed to mean?" I asked the annoyed edge in my voice clearly heard.

"Don't get the wrong idea, I just think she's. . .not completely over her drinking thing even if she has just started it."

"Oh, really, then why didn't I find a single bottle of alcohol under her bed last night when I went to go check, plus she even told me she was over the drinking thing."

"Gareki, I'm just not sure about this. I don't think she's fully over it all, I mean think about it, how hurt she was when Jared left her and not to mention your dad being taken away to jail.

The offended feeling grew inside of me making my fingers tighten around my phone. was he honestly trying t o make this even more worse for me. I wanted to believe things were over and I had but now his words made me think my mom wasn't completely over her pain. I just wanted to forget and relax knowing that I didn't need to worry about her being home alone and drinking and doing something potentially that could end her life but why did he have to make me second guess myself?

"Are you an expert on this?" My voice came out deep and slightly angry despite me trying to hold it back. I didn't want to be mad at him but I just wanted my life to be normal and not stressing over problems in my life such as this one. But having him make me second guess what was actually happening made me stress all over again.

"No, but- "

"Then I think we should stop talking about this." I interrupted quickly.

He sighed before answering slowly, " alright."

We both were silent and the awkward feeling started. Something neither of us had felt in a long time it seemed.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"Alex don't, I shook my head looking down at my homework before replying, none of it is because of you. . . I just don't want to think about it any more. Sorry."

"It's fine. he said before adding, what happened between you and Nai yesterday?"

I paused and frowned." How did you know about that?"

"D.C told me. Only part of it anyway."

"Oh." Was all I could say.

Alex inhaled a breath on the other end before asking." I heard that you and him pretty much almost got into a fight."

I clenched my jaw just thinking about the events that had happened between me and him. I wasn't going to tell Alex what had happened but since D.C had already told him part of it then I might as well tell him now and hope that he wouldn't start an actual fight this time. I may have been angry at Nai for what he had said but I didn't want to see him or Alex punching each others faces in.

I leaned back in my chair and stared up at my sealing, "my mom's out of the house right now which means I don't have to keep an eye on her now, could you pick me up and we could go somewhere?"

"Sure." He agreed.

My bare feet touched the soft sand as I looked out over the horizon to see the sun cover by the clouds leaving a warm wind to blow threw my hair and my bare arms since I was wearing a lose tank top and jeans.

Alex walked up next to me with his hands shoved into his jean pockets. He looked off into the horizon with me.

"Is this good enough to make you feel calmer?"

I nodded, earlier I had asked him if there was any where in Boston that would be enough to calm my anger down and he decided to take me to a beach, the most calmest place he ever knew of.

"Yeah." I said beginning to walk along the shore line feeling the cold salt water splash against my feet and soak the bottom half of my jeans.

"So what did Nai do to you exactly?" Alex asked me seriously as he walked along with me.

"He didn't do anything to me, it's what he said that made me angry."

Alex lifted an eyebrow." What did he say?"

I explained to him how I was planning on telling both Nai and D.C what had happened to him in gym thanks to me when Nai had said something that still made me angry every time I thought about it.

"I don't know what his problem is, I just think that he either feels jealous or he doesn't think your good enough for me." I said rolling my eyes.

"It's all because of the breakup thing, am I right?" He asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

Alex sighed. "Oddly enough I'm not offended in any sort of way, or angry."

I stopped in my tracks and turned to him." You're not mad?" I asked in disbelief.

He stopped as well and gave me a confused look. "uh no, am I supposed to be?"

I shrugged, no I just expected you to act differently about him talking bad behind your back. I even thought you were going to fight him because of it."

"The only reason if I would fight would be if any one says anything bad about you."

I blinked a little surprised by his statement.

He noticed my slightly surprised look and shrugged nonchalantly, "What, I can't be over protective about you?"

I turned away from him an unstoppable smile coming to my lips." I didn't say that, it just surprised me a little. But how do you honestly feel about the whole situation?"

We began walking again.

"I told you, I feel like he's not offending me in any kind of way because I'm not going to let him, let him say and feel how he wants just as long as he doesn't try to get together with you then I don't really care what mood he's in." Alex answered.

I nodded, " Well said."

Alex looked up at the sky again. " I can't believe how much we've been threw in a matter of weeks."

"You're right, I guess everything just started to happen once you came to this school."

He looked at me. " I wouldn't say everything."

" Of course not _**everything**_ but most of it. Sort of like. . . everything happens for a reason."

He laughed slightly." I guess so." he then walked away from the shore and pointed out a spot near the rocky part of the beach.

"lets go check out the ocean in this direction."

I followed him stepping carefully on the rocks before coming down to my hands and knees and climbed the rest of the way before sitting on the edge of the large rock, leaving my feet dangling from the long height the ocean spraying water beneath us, Alex joined me soon after.

from this view point I could see the sun way more clearer then from below where we were initially. It was so much more brighter and golden.

"How are you feeling?" He suddenly asked.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye. " What do you mean, I'm fine?"

"You sure, I know what we did happened the other night but sometimes when you do it for the very first time you tend to feel odd and I haven't asked you ever since that night- "

" Wait, are you talking about the night we had sex?" I asked just now catching on to what he was mentioning.

"Yeah." he smiled.

"Oh, in that case are you asking me how I felt that night?"

" No, but I do feel like I need to say sorry since I did come onto to you unexpectedly."

"You don't need to, I mean I did tell you that it felt good, and besides you asked me if I was okay during it so I'm not mad at you or anything."

He was silent for a moment before asking. " So you wouldn't be mad if I asked you to do it again?"

I turned towards him not expecting him to say that." No, matter a fact I would say yes."

He smiled a small one at me before reaching towards me and lifted my hand up and kissed my knuckles with his warm lips making my face heat up at his actions.

I didn't know what I was saying next but it had just fumbled out of my mouth." You should kiss me." I said quietly soft.

Dropping my hand he reached towards my face and pulled me into him before kissing me on the lips.

I instinctively closed my eyes feeling him against me, I wondered why his lips always gave me a reassurance that I always needed when I was near him. Maybe it was because sometimes he would seem unreal, to perfect to even exist but this was the way I knew he was here for me and actually here with me and not some figment of imitation.


	51. Finding You

**GothinBlack- Heads up for short chapter and thanks for 1,949 views almost to 2,000! This will be my second book other then The fate We Brought Ourselves that has reached 2,000 already. So thank you so much.**

* * *

Yogi looked over the files that were scattered over the kitchen bar, slowly tapping his index finger on his jaw line as he leaned his head against his hand that was propped up on the bar counter.

Just for a second he averted his eyes away from the files and looked out the large three way window in his living room. The sun was setting behind the city buildings, Saturday had been yesterday but now Sunday was already turning into Monday in just a few hours.

The weekend passed had gone by quickly. Yogi turned back to his files about the Igarashi family.

From what he understood he still couldn't figure out where they lived unless he found out the school Gareki went to which would have information of his address and which house he lived in, which would be a big help considering the news report yesterday had been about a driver being murdered because of a man that had high jacked his car, the man was labeled as Mr. Igarshi heading on the highway in a means to get out of town.

From what yogi heard the police chased after him until they were off the high way and had come to a wooded area where trees were and found the car empty once they had found it and there had been no sign of Gareki's father since that report. No doubt police were still searching that area but there had been no word of finding him, not yet at least.

He sat back in his chair and sighed for the tenth time that day. He hadn't done anything but sit here all day and continue to look for evidence in order to help this kid who he feared hadn't realized his father had escaped jail.

"Have you got anything yet Aloes?' He asked pressing a button so his lap top could find the info that she had searched up.

The plan was to look for schools with student's who had the last name Igarashi that way he could finger out where Gareki was.

"I have sir." she announced. The information on exactly what Yogi had been looking for hours now popped up on his laptop screen and he looked over it to find Weslyn High school and other information about it and he soon found the where a bouts of Gareki's house including a phone number .

But he figured it was best not to call right now, he would rather speak with him in person just in case he didn't answer or decided to hang up for an unknown number.

"Thank you, Aloes. Looks like I'll be speaking to him tomorrow." Yogi said closing his laptop and folded his hands under his chin.

" You are welcome sir." She spoke.

His eyes roamed down to the picture of Gareki. The picture had been taken months ago and he looked sad, at least that's what his eyes looked like. Yogi began to wonder what other troubles had he been going threw with a man such as his own dad.


	52. The Meeting

My vision was blurred as my breath came out in short gasps. I couldn't help but moan at the feeling of Alex entering me over and over again.

We had agreed to do this, and here we were again.

He leaned down and kissed me shortly before pulling away but still close to my face." You have to be more quiet, Gareki." he breathed.

His parents were still here, down stairs watching TV I had forgotten all about them. "I'm sorry." I gasped out clenching the bed sheets and shutting my eyes tightly as a wave of pleasure went threw my body.

I felt Alex's hand push my hair back away from my forehead before kissing me there." You're close, aren't you?" he whispered.

" You should already. . . know." I managed to say before looking away from him but instead focused my eyes on the dark sealing.

I couldn't see much because the lights were off and the only light that we had was coming from the window that was facing the backyard, So I didn't worry about unwanted people seeing us doing this since there were no houses behind his.

"Are you?" I asked him roaming my hand threw his soft hair which stood disheveled atop his head, some of it fell in front of his intense eyes. His grey iris's stood out against the moon light that was coming in from the window making them look brighter.

"I am, but only because you keep tightening around me." he said quietly .

I was about to give out a short laugh at that but was stopped as my breath hitched in my throat. He hit my sensitive area hard enough that it almost made me moan again but I bit my lip, forcing myself to hold it back.

Leaning down I felt his lips on my neck making me throw my head back for more of that feeling. My arm pulled him down into me more, myself craving for more of his touch.

He moved faster making unstoppable moans come out of me to the point he had to kiss me to keep me silent.

I felt my chest burst in excitement as I felt that same not releasing itself and then I was coming and so was he. I felt a warmness enter me just like it had last time.

My body trembled beneath his, I felt his hand roam the side of my chest before stopping on my cheek. He brought his forehead to mine, pressing them together as we both road off the strong orgasm.

My body stopped trembling after a moment had passed and my breathing had calmed down as well.

Alex pulled out slowly before rolling off of me and laid beside me.

I breathed slowly threw my parted lips closing my eyes to calm my racing heart before opening them again and turned my head to look at him.

"Did we really just do that, again?" I asked drained.

He sighed. "Yeah, we did."

I looked away from him to look back up at the sealing. "I feel weird again, or should I say. . .different."

He blinked, " How so?"

"Two males being able to do something like this, it's strange."

"It's gay." He corrected.

It was silent for a second before I laughed, finding humor in the way he had corrected me. He laughed also.

I pushed my hair out of my eyes still laughing slightly. " Great way to put it, Alex."

He shrugged," It's the truth." he said smiling.

"I know. I rubbed my eyes before asking. Hey, I think I need to tell you something." My voice was a little serious.

He turned to me." By the way you're saying it, it makes me think it's bad."

"It's not really bad, I said sitting up from the bed and picked up my pants to put them on, But it's more like scary and realistic."

"So something horrific? He indicated sitting up with eyes trained on me. Do you still have panic attacks, maybe that's what you're talking about."

"No, ever since my dad was taken away I haven't really had one since, but that's not what I meant." I stated.

He lifted an eyebrow." So something else then is realistically scaring you?"

"Yeah, but it didn't happen to me, but in my dreams. I'd call it a nightmare if I knew what was happening entirely but I just don't understand what I'm seeing when I was having it."

"A nightmare?, When did you have it?"

"Friday when I was in the hospital with your parents waiting on your surgery to be finished. I sat back down on his bed and explained what had happened in the dream, oddly enough in this dream I could remember everything that had occurred. I told him the main things though, such as the burning barn in the middle of almost no where but the city was in the background, how I could see myself almost as if I were in a different time but my future or past self didn't know that I was there with him, and lastly I told him how my past or future self had been covered in blood and was crying for some apparent reason but then he had said alex's name with an apology.

Alex looked at me hard before saying." That sounds terrifying, at least to me, have you ever had any dreams like that before?"

I shook my head," Up until now my dreams have always been about my . . .dad. Not anything else so weird as this one. I looked up at him and frowned, do you think it means something?"

He shook his head looking down at his lap, "I doubt it does, I never heard of some ones dream ever meaning anything, the best advice I could give you is to just forget about it like you've done with your other dreams. Pretend like it never happened if it's bothering you this much."

I tightened my lips together before nodding, "Then I'll try to forget."

"Good" , he smiled before opening his right arm out.

I scooted back and let him wrap his arm around me as he laid down behind me and me in front of him. I felt the warmness of the covers cover us both as I closed my eyes feeling his breath fan on the back of my neck in a comfortable sensation.

The dream happened again that night, but I didn't scream or snap my eyes open in a terrified manner but I just stayed asleep as that dream kept replaying itself over and over again, ending the exact same way until morning came to wake me up.

The next morning I stepped out of Alex's car and before I could close the door he yelled out.

"Don't forget to dress quickly, we still have school to get to."

"Right." I said rolling my eyes at the fact that it was already Monday. I shut the door and walked up my porch and unlocked the door, going inside.

I shut the front door behind me and looked around. It was quiet. But I was only here to retrieve clean clothing of my own and my backpack plus my guitar for after school practice today.

I walked into the kitchen and looked around. It was normal and clean not a speck of dirt anywhere.

I made my way up the stairs and into my bed room and quickly stripped out of my clothes. I had already taken a shower at Alex's so I just needed to get dressed.

I slipped on a dark grey beanie with a white T shirt , my jean jacket that was under layered with a black jacket attached to it. Dark jeans and black boots.

I grabbed and shouldered my backpack and howled over my guitar case on my one shoulder before making my way out of my room. Just as I was about to grab my door knob I stopped abruptly in my tracks and turned around slowly towards my window that was facing the wooded area of my back yard just like Alex's mine was like his but without the wide open space, just trees and bushes but thick.

My blue-grey eyes scanned the trees slowly before I glared slightly and turned back around and left my room.

It almost felt like some one had been watching me.

Later that day in band class as me and Alex walked in I noticed Nai sitting at the piano looking up just in time to catch my eye.

I gave him a cold stare before looking back to Alex and continued talking to him as if I hadn't just done what I did.

"I saw that." he said once we sat down on the risers.

I leaned back and turned my eyes to him." What now?"

"Don't play dumb, I saw you glare at Nai." he lifted an eyebrow accusingly.

I shrugged, are you going to scold me, he practically deserves it for what he said about you last week, don't tell me you're sticking up for him."

"I'm not, he said plainly, but I just think that we should leave him alone, if he doesn't like me then he doesn't like me, big deal. He shrugged, we're still going to need him for this whole band thing to get your reputation back in check. And nothings going to come good out of it if you're glaring icicles at him."

I rolled my eyes before sighing, " What ever you say, Alex Thorne."

He creased his eyebrows at me pausing in what he was doing.

"What?"

He looked away and stared strait ahead. " Nothing, it's just been awhile since you've called me by my full name. You used to do that when you didn't like me enough to call me by my first."

I pulled out my electric guitar from it's case. "Well I definitely like you now." I said picking at the strings creating a sharp sound.

He was about to say something when we heard a hey come our way.

I looked up to see D.C standing there with her own bass guitar.

"Hey, we both said as she sat down leaning into us.

I could tell that she had some type of news for both of us so we leaned in also.

"Did you guys here about it?" she asked.

Me and Alex exchanged confused looks before looking back to her.

"What are you talking about?" Alex asked.

"The Battle Of The Bands has been rescheduled it's this Friday, the people that are holding it says it's supposed to be some hectic storm the night that we were initially supposed to perform." She explained.

"Oh, well that's just great. He sighed in annoyance, sitting back up, that means we only have today and three more days to practice."

"Well look at it from a good perspective, she said, at least we already rehearsed the song and it sounds really good, ill say we already have this competition in the bag.

"I wouldn't count on that." Said a voice.

We all turned around to see lock and His sister Stormy standing with their own band.

I glared at him, _when did he get in this class? I didn't remember him ever being in here, or maybe because I just wasn't paying attention._ I thought.

"What are you doing over here?" I asked with an annoyed edge in my voice. I still hadn't forgotten the unwanted kiss he had given me when I was watching his band play in the gym last week, I was lucky that Alex had come to my rescue.

"Ease dropping, He smirked before adding, just like you had done to my band."

Anger flowed threw me quickly.

"You fucking liar, I wasn't ease dropping, how many times am I going to have to repeat myself." I snapped.

"What ever, it sure looked like ease dropping to me." he said smugly still with that smirk on his face.

That stupid smirk that made me angry every time I looked at it.

"Son of a bi- !

I was cut off by Alex's hand that clamped over my mouth keeping me from yelling out my growing anger towards this ass hole. I gripped his arm trying to pull it away from my mouth but he kept a strong relentless hold on me causing me to struggle as I continued to yell in a muffled voice even with his hand covering my mouth.

He knew that I was getting angry that lock had showed up so he had to shut me up before I said something way out of line which I had to admit I sure was about to.

"I think it's time that you guys left." Alex said giving them all a hard look with his jaw clenching.

"Where's your other band mate?" Lock asked ignoring Alex's request. He looked around the room and spotted Nai at the piano tuning his guitar.

No one else in the class seemed to notice the argument that just had happened but instead kept playing their own instruments.

"Why's he all alone? Lock asked continuing to look at Nai. Maybe I could keep him company." He began walking down the risers and towards Nai.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Alex said.

But Lock just kept walking ignoring his words until he came up to Nai it wasn't long before it looked like he was going to start a fight with him.

Alex let go of me and stood up and walked down until he came to Lock who had raised his fist just in time to be stopped by Alex's hand that had been raised in time to stop before hitting Nai's face.

Lock looked at him surprised that he had made it in time to stop him.

Alex glared at him and then shoved back his fist making Lock step back.

"I said for you not to do it." Alex said, his voice angry, From the looks of things it looked like Alex was going to start a fight now.

Lock gave him a glare back before dismissing the situation and went back to his own band." You're not even worth my time, but we'll settle this in the competition.

"Yeah, we will." Alex agreed watching them leave.

"I didn't need your help." Nai said looking up at him.

"I didn't do it for you, I did it because I wanted to". Alex said before turning away and heading back over to us.

I looked him over," Alex are you okay?"

" Yeah, he sat down, why wouldn't I be?"

I shook my head," No reason. Just that I didn't expect you to do that."

"You don't expect me to do a lot of things, but I end up doing them." He picked up his guitar and started playing it as if nothing had happened.

"For Christ sake, Alex, you should have punched him!" D.C yelled once we sat down at the lunch table.

Alex stared at her." No, if I would have done that then I would've gotten detention, he averted his eyes to me accusingly, like my boyfriend over here."

I dropped my fork on my tray and snapped my eyes towards him" What's that supposed to mean!?"

"oohh nothing." He said turning away from me with a playful smile.

I squinted my eyes at him," It better be nothing." I turned back to my tray and picked up my fork again.

D.C looked from me to Alex before saying. " You guys are kind of cute you know."

Both of us looked up at her and she shrugged." I mean as a couple, you guys are honestly. . . relationship goals.

"Thanks." Alex said slowly not sure how to reply.

She nodded, Any way what are we going to do about Nai, Haven't you guys noticed that he hasn't sat with us at lunch for a few days now?"

"Oh, we've noticed." Alex clarified.

" We're going to get threw with the contest, I said before adding, and if Nai's still in a mood then he can leave but if not. . .

"I'm staying." A tray dropped down on the table we all looked up to see Nai standing there.

"Do you even want to, you know Alex is the leader and if you don't like him then how are we going to make this thing work ?" D.C questioned.

Nai pulled out the chair and sat down crossing his arms. He looked up at Alex. "I'll admit, I don't like you in a friendship sort of way, ever since the whole break up thing with you and Gareki I've just been feeling that you're the lowest person that's out there, Gareki has already been threw enough with his dad and the whole school making fun of him and then you had to go and make it all worse by not taking him back once he believed what you said had actually happened at the party, just because you're trying to fix this now doesn't mean I'll think any higher of you, just know that, and you can know that I am staying in this band until Gareki's reputation isn't as bad as it is now."

We were all quiet for a moment at Nai's out burst.

From what I could understand he was set on defending me. So that had been the whole problem with him for the last past week. So he wasn't jealous neither did he secretly like me, he was just. . . defending me. Which oddly enough sounded strange to me, probably because I never had any one defend me before up until now.

Me, D.C and Alex exchanged looks expecting the other to speak but none of us did, I guess we didn't know how to respond to something so sudden. Alex decided to break the silence.

"I'm glad you're not quitting the band all because of me, but just know this, I don't really care if you like me or not, I'm doing this for Gareki because I really want to, not because I have to, just understand that."

Nai didn't say anything just stared at him before grapping his fork and started eating his lunch.

We all gave each other looks again.

I shrugged dismissing the entire thing, acting as if it didn't happen.

We all began to talk again( except for Nai who just kept to himself), it was nearing the end of lunch period when a women came up to me her heels clicking against the floors as she stopped beside me.

Alex stopped talking to me as he looked what was behind me. I lifted an eyebrow at him stopping in the middle of his sentence before turning my head and saw the women behind me.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"You have an important visitor, Gareki. Please follow me."

I turned back to Alex and D.C, " I'll be right back." I got up from my seat and followed the women until we reached the guidance office, she led me to a back room where visitors waited. She opened the door and there I saw a man in his 20's with blond curly hair and violate eyes, he was wearing a white button up shirt with a black tie and black slim slacks.

He looked up from his watch and his eyes fell onto mine and instantly I felt a strange deja' vu and a very odd feeling came over me.

This was the first time we met, back when I was a junior in high school completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to deal with life or death and lose everything that I cared about, Little did I know this man was going to save my life soon.


	53. Shocking News

**Every one of you is so amazing I mean it and you better believe it! (: thank you for so much support on this book and all of my hard work, and to those who continued to read this LONG book that just shows me how I appreciate writing for you guys. I loves this book and all of you have made it even better so thank you.**

 **And I'm happy to say that this book has actually reached 2,221 views in such a short amount of time, none of my longest stories has even reached this much yet except for one other series I've written a few months back. but any way I'm so excited so thank you so much! have a nice day everybody!**

* * *

I stared at the man sitting in front of me. Something told me this man was going to be a very important person and it wasn't because of the way he was dressed.

The women who had assisted me to the guidance office said she'd be taking her leave now and shut the door behind her.

I kept my eyes on the man sitting in front of me. His face was serious and looked as if he never joked around when it came to whatever work he did. He was intimidating, I knew that from the very second I had stepped into the small room.

I stuck my hands in my pockets, before asking, " So a strange man wants to see me, who are you?"

He blinked at me before sitting back in his chair and when he spoke his voice was some what deep that held assertiveness and also a serious edge to it just like his facial features were right now.

In my mind my brain described this man to be very smart. He looked like it.

"I think it would be best for you to sit for what I'm about to tell you." he said.

I looked to the left of me and sat down in a chair that wasn't close to him, a good enough distance for me to still pay attention to him and hear what he had to say, but I didn't know this guy and I felt that I should at least keep my distance.

He didn't mind me not sitting close to him in fact his face just stayed the same even as he began to speak.

"For the last past week I have known about you and have done my research on you and what had been happening in your house." He said calmly as if knowing my body was going to tense up at the words he had just said and he was right.

As soon as he said that I immediately went rigid, my body turned stiff and I clenched slightly at the arm wrest of my chair. My face stayed expressionless but inside I was completely caught off guard.

 _Was he saying what I think he was saying? He knows about what I had gone threw with my dad, but how did he know, who is he?_

He intertwined his fingers and held them under his chin as his violate eyes stared into mine, unfaltering and unblinking for the longest of seconds. It was like he was looking into me and I felt my jaw muscles flex as I clenched my teeth together, he continued to speak.

"My name is Yogi and I am a detective slash a police officer, I've been told about you and all that you've been threw by a reliable source. Now tell me if I'm wrong I just need to check the information I have so far about you?"

I looked away from him, I had to, his eyes were way to intense. Alex's eyes were intense also but I could handle his unlike this man who was sitting in front of me, I knew that this guy seriously meant business. I looked back at him and nodded before looking away again, I settled for looking at his neck something that wasn't making my heart rate stutter in my chest for the next words that would come threw his mouth.

I didn't know why I was so nervous, but if this man- or Yogi was really an officer that knew what I had gone threw then he must have been here for some reason and not to just question me. I sensed that there was something else more important he had to say.

He stated things about me next that I honestly felt kind of exposed since most of what he said was in fact true. And lastly he stated.

I know that you're a junior that attends this school at the age of 17.

I gave him a cautious look before slowly answering, " Yeah."

It made since that he knew so much about me considering he was a police officer. I sighed and decided to ask a bold question.

I looked him strait in the eyes quickly just to get it over with, I opened my mouth to ask him the question but I abruptly stopped finding that my voice had caught in my throat. He gave me a look silently telling me not to speak.

I looked away from his eyes and slowly closed my mouth finding it over powering how his eyes could just command me like that.

"Gareki, I get that you're scared, I can see it in your eyes and by the way your body language is." he stated flatly causing me to gasp and my eyes to widen slightly.

I didn't know why I was acting so panicked all of a sudden but quickly I found myself standing up and staring at the clock before yelling out.

"Why are you here?!" My voice was breathy and on the edge of cracking.

" Calm down Gareki. . ."

"Don't tell me what to do, I interrupted. Why did you come here for me?" My voice was persistent.

"I came here to tell you something as a warning, but after I say this you have to promise me you won't overreact." He said calmly.

My lips pressed into a thin line and my hands hung at my sides clenching into fists." Just tell me."

And so he did, and when the words left past his lips the entire room grew cold and I found that my heart rate was beating quickly as adrenaline coursed threw my veins in panic. I shook my head slowly in disbelief as he kept talking about that man. Flashes went threw my mind of everything he had done to me. The pain of it all sent my body rigid with fear.

My face went pale and my eyes widened as my mouth hung open trembling , my body was shacking and I became scared out of my mind. I felt the hard floors beneath me as I fell my legs not being able to hold me up much longer and in the back of my mind I heard a blood curdling scream and I realized. . .it was me.

I was staring up into grey eyes with white specks into them as he had seconds before he ran into the room and was over me as was Yogi and a couple other people who heard me.

Alex was yelling at me and the fright in his eyes grew as he looked down at my terrified reaction, that scared me more. I brought my hands to my head and curled up into myself continuing to scream, hot tears making there way into my eyes as Alex shook my shoulder begging me to tell him what was wrong and for me to calm down before he had been pushed aside by security guards from the school who were ordered to take me away.

I hadn't had a panic attack in so long, I thought they had disappeared but now I knew that I was wrong.

I was scared by the words Yogi had said to me. He was out, my dad was out and he was coming to get me, I wasn't sure, but Yogi had assured me that policeman were still on the look out for him and last time he had been spotted was near the city some where my house was still a mile aways from so there was a chance he wasn't coming near me, but that didn't give me the reassurance I needed to know that he was behind bars and would never come close to me again. I wanted him found and locked up once more.

I hated the torture and the pain I had gone threw with that man, I was afraid of feeling that way again, the pain the scars and the bruises I didn't want to relive it, not now and definitely not ever.

I felt something sharp enter my arm just like it had last time, they were drugging me again.

Soon after I felt my body grow weak as the minutes passed, my eyes grew heavy and my voice lowered down until I couldn't scream any longer I felt my throat on fire as my screaming lasted for a full on 5 five minutes of me shouting, and then I was welcomed by darkness.


	54. Devistation

The dream happened to me again. I saw my own self standing in front of me once again, crying and staring dead ahead like I wasn't there.

He kept staring into the flames of what once was a barn. I turned around to look at the burning wood turn to ash as smoke lifted from the spread about grass and hey on the ground.

I continuously wondered why I was having this dream, not only once but over and over again, it was as if I was in a marathon in my own delusional mind. This clearly wasn't real but everything from the sounds, the sensations, and what was standing burning in front of me looked entirely like reality.

like I was reliving this moment in my life. But I knew nothing like this had happened in my life and I refused to believe it would happen in my future.

I looked back to my other self standing there with tears in his eyes falling down his cheeks to mix with the blood on his one cheek.

I wondered why he had so much blood on him when it didn't appear that he was hurt.

slowly but surely he began to fade away and so did the dream world around me.

I closed my eyes slowly and that was when I woke up.

I gasped sitting up strait in a darkly lit room, my body perspiring coldly, my eyes dilated looked around at my surroundings.

"You're awake!" came a voice then I heard the quick shuffle of feet leaving away from me distantly and a moment later I heard other foot steps coming my way before they came from around the corner.

I noticed Alex, Nai, D.C, my mom and a women in a nurse uniform standing near the door way.

they all stared at me in expectation but I wasn't paying attention to them but rather the person that was missing.

If I could remember his name it had to be. . . . . .Yogi?

My mind was still foggy from the drug they had given me to put me to sleep, and I felt a lot more calmer now but soon enough the earlier news I had learned from that guy, came back to me.

My face turned stony as I slowly looked down at my lap as I started to shack.

The nurse that was standing in the room with us quickly walked over to me and ordered me to pay attention to her voice as my shacking increased until I had to clench onto the small bed I was on just to try and calm myself down.

Mentally my mind wasn't afraid but my body was, and it wasn't listening to my brain what's so ever.

She gently placed her hand around my arm in a means to calm me.

My body was stiff as if I had been frozen in place, my memory came back to me of what yogi had said.

I couldn't believe it, he was out of jail. What was I going to do now? Was I going to die? Did the police really have this under control like Yogi had said they would?

"Gareki?" came a voice.

I snapped out of my terrified thoughts and looked up at Alex who had spoken to me and just like that I felt calm by the look he gave me.

I understood that he had been worried about me, no doubt about it considering his worried face before I had been drugged to fall asleep.

My body stopped shacking as he came closer to me, the nurse stepped back and he came up to me before asking if I was alright.

I wanted to nod my head and answer him but a lump caught in my throat and all I could do was answer truthfully by shacking my head looking back down at my lap.

Truth was I was just devastated that this was happening.

"It'll be okay, you can talk to me. . .Alex was cut off by my mom who came up and pushed him aside and hugged me tightly.

I hadn't expected her to do anything like that, push Alex a side was what I meant.

He caught his footing and gave my mom a strange look as if( like me) he wasn't expecting her to push him either but he let it slide.

I guess she was excited to see that I was okay, which made sense.

"I'm glad you're okay." She said, her voice sounded strange and as I breathed in her sent I smelled alcohol with the smell of lavender perfume, had she tried to cover it up, and to my shock I smelled alcohol on her breath as she spoke.

My eyes widened and I pushed her away from me gently, looking at her as if she were crazy. But no she was a liar, she had lied to me!

Disbelief washed over me as she looked at me oddly, just by the look on her face- by the redness of her cheeks and the puffiness of them I knew she was drunk this very second. That had been why her voice sounded strange.

"Gareki what are you-?" she asked but stopped at the look on my face.

I shook my head slowly continuing to look at her with disbelief." You lied. . .didn't you?" I muttered.

D.C furrowed her brows at me." Gareki you need to calm down, no one lied to you, you just woke up and need some time for the drug to ware off."

"I know what I'm talking about. I said seriously a little to serious as I looked her way before turning back to my mom." You never gave up drinking did you?"

Her eyes widened and beside her Alex looked at her as if he knew something.

And he was right, he did know something, this entire time he had told me that my mom hadn't quit drinking but I was to angry and stressed to let that thought even cross my mind as being true, I didn't want to believe it because I didn't want to deal with it all over again but now, it looked like I was doing just that. And now I regretted not listening to him when I had , there impossible could have been a way to prevent this from happening.

My mom stared at me guiltily before she slowly nodded. I was up in seconds briskly walking out of the room before any one could grab me and sit me back down in the bed.

Turns out I was still in Weslyn high as I speed walked down the hallway.

I ran outside where the empty foot ball field was, it stood divided by a gate from the student parking lot, left over base ball equipment had been left behind from practice and I made my way down the stone stairs towards it.

I picked up a bat and as I walked towards the gate quickly all I saw was red. I was fuming, my jaw clenched together as I held the bat up and stabbed it threw the gate making a loud sound of medal breaking as the hard bat broke into it's structure.

I continued to hit it, even harder then my last as I let out my anger and frustration with loud angry groans. My hands and knuckles hurt from the force of my hits but I continued without stop.

the gate was turning into a crumbled mess of medal wire and broken down poles as kicked it several times in order to give my hands a break.

My hair fell into my eyes as I yelled out my rage. Everything was happening so fast and I didn't know what to do or who to turn to for actual help. I didn't get it, I was only 17 why was so many bad things happening to me at this age, it was uncalled for and I didn't want to deal with it any more.

The bat dropped out of my hands as I kneeled down quickly and snagged a sharp broken edge of the gate before pulling it over my wrist ready to puncture my flesh but was stopped by a shout.

"Gareki, don't do it, please!" Alex yelled.

I turned my head swiftly over my shoulder and snapped out of my dilemma and quickly moved away from the sharp edge of the gate.

Alex came over to me as I stood up prepared to run away again but his voice stopped me.

"Don't take anther step." he warned.

I halted in my next steps and breathed slowly threw my opening lips before I shut my eyes tightly getting my nerve up before opening them again and began walking away once more not bothering to stop.

I couldn't bother with people right now, not even my own boyfriend, Alex.

"Gareki?" he called after me worriedly. But I didn't stop, I walked faster until I came into a jog and then a sprint across the long foot ball field.

I needed to get away from here, away from all of this. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

I heard hard foot steps behind me coming up faster then my own two feet before I felt strong arms around me and then I was tackled to the ground.

By now I was familiar with Alex's touch so I instinctively knew it was him. I struggled against his strong hold on me.

"Let go!" I snapped gripping at the turf managing to get the upper part of my body free before getting the rest of my body lose from him.

He scrambled after me just as I got up to my feet he pulled me back down onto my back before pinning me down in the middle of the field.

I glared up at him and he glared down at me both of us breathing hard from the hustle and the long sprint.

" You better not try that again." he said seriously.

I clenched my jaw before rolling away from him but he caught me and pushed me back down into place.

"Don't run away from me- ."

"Don't tell me what to do, Alex!" I snapped pushing his hand away but he just put it back in place. How persistent of him.

"Tell me something ok ?" He asked softly.

"What?" I said angrily.

"Calm down first."

I shook my head. " I can't do this!, I need to get away from here!"

" Even from me?"

 **"Everyone."** I clarified.

I tired to ignore the some what hurt and offended look in his eye as he climbed off of me.

"Why are you running away from me?" he said sincerely.

I felt my anger melt away at his calm voice despite my angry one. I sat up and felt genuinely appreciative that he had trust to let me go and knew that I wouldn't run away again. I guess that was how much he believed in me when situations became hard and here I was making things complicated by acting as if this was all his fault.

I spoke softly when I answered," I didn't mean what I said, I'm just devastated right now. . . and I can't help but to feel at a lost for what to do next.

I looked down at my lap and trailed one of my fingers along one of my tattoos on my arm before I continued.

"You were right, My voice faltered a bit as I felt burning in the back of my eyes as tears produced.

"You were right, I repeated, shacking my head slowly, I should have trusted you when you said she was still drinking, but I didn't and now I have to deal with this all over again when there could have been a way to resolve all of this."

I couldn't stop the tear from falling down my cheek, I reached up a hand to wipe it away but Alex's thumb did it for me.

I looked at him.

"You shouldn't cry about this, everything isn't on you, so what if you didn't believe me for something such as this, if I were you I wouldn't want to believe me either, I know what you've been going threw this entire time and just know that 'm here to help you threw it, of course I can't resolve some of your problems but at least I'll be there for you."

I bit my lip as he pulled me into him, I held back my pain not wanting to show more then needed when he was here.

Placing a careful hand on my head he caressed me, " it's okay now, I'm here, you can let it all out. Don't be afraid."

My body shook as the tears ran down my face continuously until I had them all out of me.

Alex laid down on his back and continued to caress my head moving back the soft strands of my hair as I breathed in his sent.

"What happened to my mom?"

"She left a few minutes after you ran out saying that she needed to be some where by a sudden work call. She told me to apologize to you for her."

"I can't honestly forgive her for what she did, you have no idea how pained I was to see that she smelled of alcohol and that she had lied to me."

"She's you're mom Gareki, you have to."

" I know, you're right, but still what she's done is just unforgivable, I don't think I could look her in the eyes again."

"Of course you can, there still is a way to stop what she's doing, it's not to late to let her go see a doctor about her problem."

"Maybe." I muttered. Alex stopped caressing my head before he sat up and asked.

"Who was that man that had called on you at lunch?"

I closed my eyes, I knew this question was coming and I was prepared to answer it just to get it off my chest and let some one else in on the news.

I took a deep breath and sighed before speaking.

"His name is Yogi a policeman and a detective, he knows me because of my dad and he knows what I've been threw, basically he came to tell me that my dad has escaped jail and is on the lose."

I felt Alex stiffen beneath me and I sat up to get a look at his face which was shocked.

"Oh, no." he whispered looking at me.

I looked away from him, yeah but even so Yogi says there are policemen out looking for him in the city area which is a mile out away from my house, I can't help but feel scared and hopeful at the same time. There's a chance they'll catch him since he's in the city.

It took Alex a second to respond." What are you going to do about your mom?"

I contemplated this in my head for a minute before answering. " I'll have to keep it a secret for now, she's already dealing with drinking problems and just letting her know that her husband is on the lose will just make her even more crazy, it's best if we all just keep a calm head about this and not to over react like I've already done today."

Alex looked at me before nodding. "Alright." he stood up and helped me to my feet. And unexpectedly he wrapped his arms around me in an embrace.

I didn't know how to react at first since it had caught me off guard but then I slowly brought my arms around him and hugged him back.

We pulled away after a moment. I scratched the side of my head looking away from him from the contact we had just shared. Something about hugging always made me feel. . . awkward.

"Where are both Nai and D.C?"

"Outside in the front of the school waiting for us." he replied.

I sighed just now remembering, "That's right, we have practice today don't we?"

"Yeah, we should get going." he suggested and we both began walking off the field.


	55. Strange Things

Not much occurred to me from when I had woken up in the nurses office but Alex filled me in on everything that had happened before I had fallen unconscious from the drug they had given me to sleep.

"After you were called to the guidance office Me, D.C and Nai decided to all wait on you outside until who ever that man was was done talking to you, Alex explained as he sat down in the red recliner chair in the studio, but then it came to the point where I heard you yelling at him, something about why was he here for you?"

"And then moments latter, I heard you screaming. . .and you wouldn't stop, that was when we all came into the room. luckily some security guards came and calmed you down but as for Yogi he stayed around for a bit until you were taken away and then. . . just left." Alex shrugged with a some what confused and disapproving look on his face.

"I thought he had done something to you but when I asked him he just said you were under pressure and you had been that way all threw out the conversation, Alex brought his eyes to me. To be honest Gareki something feels off about that guy, when I was near him, and not just that but also looking at him in the eyes, he had some odd intensity about him- if that makes any sense."

I nodded slowly, my eyes never leaving his face, " Trust me, it does. The way he was talking to me made me feel. . .vulnerable, I guess you could say, he was so intense and assertive when he talked, he seems like one of those men that are really important and that you can't seem to miss. No doubt it was the first time I felt uncomfortable around someone, and it's been awhile." I replied quietly, with my arms folded over my chest as I sat back in my own recliner chair.

D.C blew out a sigh." Don't you guys think you're over reacting? This guy is just a regular detective/policemen what could be so bad about him?"

I eyed her for a second before shacking my head. I still hadn't told both Nai or D.C that my dad had broken out of jail, which this was the perfect time to get it off my chest.

I leaned my chin on the back of my hand and crossed my legs. " There's nothing wrong with him, but the things that he told me and the way he had said it, is what's bothering me."

"What did he say?" Nai asked leaning over my chair a bit to close for comfort, I scooted slightly away from him before answering.

"My dad broke lose from jail, last week I'm guessing or maybe it was the week before last, all I know is that Yogi did say my dad had left a few nights ago and that he was last seen in the city, the policemen are after him now."

Both Nai and D.C were surprised by this, much like how Alex's reaction was when I had told him earlier that day.

D.C frowned," What are you going to do, have you told your mom about this?"

"I'm scared shit less and I don't know what to do but only pray that he's not anywhere close to me or my mom, and no, I haven't told her and it would be best to keep it that way, she's already under the influence of alcohol who knows how she'll act when she finds out my dad is out of jail, she might do something as crazy as to take her own life out of devastation, or something like that. After all she's still hurt pretty bad about what he had threatened to do to both her and myself."

"Oh Gareki, I'm sorry." She said sincerely.

I dropped my hand away from my face before looking down at my hands." It's not your fault, so don't apologize."

"How are you taking things with her?" Nai asked.

I tried not to think of the way her breath had smelled of alcohol when she hugged me but it was to late, that memory had already resurfaced from the back of my mind. Just from that I instantly felt anger take over me. Why would she disappoint me like that when I had been finally happy about something that wasn't stressful in my own house?

Alex knew I was getting angry just by the way my face was. He lifted a hand and put it atop mine giving it a reassuring squeeze and I slowly calmed myself down only having a numbness to my anger now.

"I honestly don't want to see her right now, but I know I'm going to have to face her at some point."

"Of course you are, she _**is**_ your mom." He said.

"I know that."

" I don't get it, why would your mom lie to you about alcohol?" D.C asked.

 _I could only guess_ , "She's just in a rough state right now and I know she doesn't want to miss either of my dad or Jared so she drinks just to forget about them, it makes her happy, but drinking isn't the solution. But she thinks it is."

"Maybe you should talk to her." D.C said.

" I know she won't listen to me, but maybe she'll listen to a doctor, like Alex suggested."

She gave me an unsure look." Are you going to send your mom to a shrink like she insisted for you way back?"

I nodded," but this time, she needs it more then me."

Neither of them disagreed about that idea.

Alex looked thoughtful for a second before turning to me and asked, " What about Yogi?"

I lifted an eyebrow," What about, Yogi?" I repeated.

"I don't think he should have just left you like that, plus with your dad on the lose. I don't care if he was last seen in the city or if police are after him, this is dangerous don't you think?"

I thought about that for a second and no doubt it was dangerous but still there was only a mile separating my house from the city and I had a small hope in me that my dad wouldn't reach me or my mom.

"We've been over this, I said standing up and shoved my hands into my pockets, He's in the city, there isn't away he would come back here especially with so many policeman on his tail.

Alex gave me a skeptical look as if to say, _Really Gareki, you're going to think like that?_

I rolled my eyes and looked away from him." I think Yogi might be back to talk to me again sooner or later but in the mean time I'm done with this conversation, we came here to rehearse and so far we've only done the song once and ended up taking a longer break then expected."

"He's right, enough of all the serious talk it's time for us to let lose." Nai said twirling one of his drum sticks between his fingers.

"All right then." D.C agreed, grabbed her bass guitar that was propped against the wall.

We practiced until night fall and eventually despite my distaste Alex had to take me home.

We came into my drive way, the house lit up from just the bottom half. I expected my mom was in the kitchen again and I knew that I couldn't just sneak up the stairs and creep into my room like I had planned, but now it would seem I would need to pass by her with awkward tension raised high.

I unbuckled and prepared to grab the door handle but Alex stopped me.

I turned to him expectantly.

He stared at me, his eyes scanning my face from my eyes, to my nose, and down to my lips before he looked back up at my eyes and said." Just be careful, I still don't like the fact that your dad is on the lose, call me if you need anything, ok?" he eyed me intently. His eyes gave me a strong reassurance that I couldn't help but to be pulled into him.

Just as I came close to him I felt his hand caress my cheek as his fingers were behind my neck pulling me in further and then he kissed me.

His soft lips always felt so good on mine, as cheesy as it sounded I meant it. I was over whelmed with the sense of being blessed to at least have a great boyfriend like him even threw a wicked life like mine. I cared for him and he cared for me no matter our ups and downs.

He pulled away and smiled a me before letting me go. " Call me."

I nodded not being able to say anything.

I went inside my house and dropped off my shoes before entering the kitchen to see my mom and Iris laughing in the living room watching some TV show.

Iris notice me looked at them and smiled before waving, "Oh hi Gareki."

"Hey." I replied with a nod before looking over to my mom. She gave me a small apologetic smile but something told me she didn't mean it.

I stared bitterly at her before shacking my head and backing away before climbing the stairs up to my room and shut the door behind me.

My palm stayed against the painted wooden door of my bed room before I slowly slid it down and dropped it away moving over to my bed where I fell down onto the soft covers on my back looking up at my sealing where the light glared down at me.

I closed my eyes for just a moment and all was silent until I reopened them and sat up quickly before looking out my window where the woods stood tall, thick and dark.

I squinted my eyes at it wondering why this sudden feeling of being watched kept coming back to me for the second time that day.

I got up and shut my blinds and began undressing for bed.

There was definitely something strange going on.


	56. As If It Were Supposed To Be

That Monday night Yogi stared out his large three way window in his Condo giving a view at the city below him. Cars passed on the highway, there bright red and white lights speeding on the road to whatever destination they were heading.

He watched them go silently, eyes unblinking. Wine glass held in one hand as he slowly twirled it within his grasp, the dark red liquid swirling around the oval insides of the glass before he raised it to his full lips and took a slight swig of it before bringing it back down.

He continued to look out the window, thinking and distracted from earlier occurrences.

He thought of the way Gareki, the 17 year old teenage boy attending Weslyn High had looked at him once he had stepped into the waiting room. His eyes had scanned over Yogi's face as if he was familiar with him some how, almost as if he had seen a ghost. Light blue mixed with grey was the color of his eyes but they showed so much hysteric as if he knew Yogi had come with bad news and they also showed how much pain and suffering he had gone threw within the time his father had lived in there home.

Protectiveness was an important thing to him deep down.

Yogi still had that same protective feeling over Gareki even though he had just met the boy , oddly enough. This feeling hadn't happened as strongly as it did with other people and children he had helped countless of times, but Gareki had seemed. . . different. His emotions sprang to there full potential when it came to this kid. It was odd.

As weird as it sounded it was as if he had been drawn to him or rather vice versa. A strong since of familiarity coursed threw Yogi's mind as he met Gareki in person earlier that evening. Clearly they hadn't met before but Yogi couldn't shack the feeling off that something serious was about to happen. But eventually he had to be done with his business at telling Gareki what all had happened by his fathers escape nights prior and that was it he had to leave after that, there were still other things to be dealt with.

But even so he still urged himself to stay, even for a little bit as Gareki grew panicked which caused a surprised panic attack to happen. He felt guilty but he did insist for Gareki to calm down before he laid out the truth. But the news- which Yogi suspected would happen, had been to much for him.

The frightened look that had over come his face made him loath what this poor kids father had done to him. Policemen were still out and there hadn't been a word about the sight of his father, which was a bad thing but they still had time, Yogi had faith in this mission, that was what he called it from now on, a very important mission that he couldn't fail in.

Yogi had examined Gareki as soon as he had came into the schools waiting room. Not like his pictures had been he appeared taller then Yogi had expected, standing at 5,10 but still slightly shorter then Yogi himself who stood at 6,1. He also couldn't help but notice the long sleeve and half sleeve of beautifully designed tattoos on both of Gareki's left and right arms. He must of been an artistic person who seemed to be into a life style of Emo with his band like style choice and single pierced ears with black stud ear rings in both of them. His skin was slightly pale but with a small tan. He was a good looking kid Yogi noted, who mostly inherited his fathers looks and his mothers beautiful eye color.

He could simply tell by just a single look that this person had a strong will to fight back considering all that he had been threw and he was strong deep down but could easily fall apart if pushed to the brink of madness.

"He is truly a very special person indeed." Yogi muttered to himself as he thought to make plans to see him again, the job was not yet done, in fact none of it had at all started yet, he needed to protect this kid and his mother. But for now he would need to wait and help the police find this so called man, Mr. Igarashi.

Yogi backed away from the window as the blinds automatically refolded themselves back down over the three large windows, hiding the lit up city from his view once more.

Emptying the red contents into the sink from his wine glass he dropped it into the sink and walked out of the kitchen and through the living room until he entered a small hall and turned to a door, another room that had come with his Condo that he didn't use but to only put files among book shelves in.

Turning the knob he went inside, closing the door behind him as he sat down at his computer desk and started looking up on an other case about a young male being kidnapped near the home area in Boston. . . which was here. Address and all information had been delivered to him by the police.

He needed to go out and investigate.


	57. Complications

My breathing was shallow, and it felt as if a pressure was weighing down on my chest. Things were silent but then again they weren't. My lungs hurt from the smoke and I couldn't help but cough harshly as I had no other choice but to inhale it.

The crying, the scream of agony and pain. Kept reverberating in my ears, as well as the barn falling apart above me. It was loud, to loud.

The barn made loud creaks as the wood snapped from the flames. I couldn't tell you how many times I had almost gotten slammed underneath their weight. I could have died, but I made my way through by crawling underneath, trying my best not to burn myself from the fire that had stuck to the large wood.

Things were hot, unbelievable hot. Sweat and blood fell from my forehead and chest. Most of it not even my own.

I felt the heat against the skin of my arms and legs, it intensified around my entire body. Feeling like it was engulfing me entirely. Was I burning? I couldn't have been. There wasn't the sharp unbearable sting of fire on me but I felt it nearing my back as I kept running threw heaps of straw.

The disgusting smell of hot manure wafting it's way inside my sensitive nostrils. The stench itself burned my nose unlike the fire that was making it's way closer to me as I came to a wooden pillar holding the barns roof top up.

I couldn't see it enough to watch my footing as I tripped and landed on my stomach. Grunting as my muscles ached from the pain I had been endured and all the running and fighting back I did in order to protect myself as well as. . .Alex.

Thinking of him now only wanted to make me scream in agony once more for the unforgivable torture I had witnessed.

Why would the very man that had given life to me do this to a person I cared about and had done nothing to deserve it?!

I loathed that man.

I was fuming with rage, but at least I got my revenge for what he had done to both of us. I had kissed Alex before running away from it all, to escape. I didn't want to leave him, believe me I didn't. . .I wished I could have hung him over my shoulder even if I knew it was all over. We had reached our end and I never thought it would turn out like this.

There was no time, the barn had collapsed on us, but I made it out and grabbed in for him but it had been to late, he was burning, and all I could do was stare in horror.

The gun shot rang through my ears just then from moments prior. . .I woke up.

There was a hand over my mouth and I instantly panicked. I shoved the person to the ground. Who ever it was had pulled me with them and we both fell to the hard floor.

"OW!" Came a voice I knew all to well.

My eyes widened, no doubt I felt disoriented and then I was reeling backwards, pulling myself away from my boyfriend who sat up rubbing his head giving me a critical look. Brow raised.

I sighed feeling a bit of annoyance go threw me at his actions. That wasn't normal, covering some ones mouth while they slept. What did he expect to happen?

"What the hell was that?" I asked, annoyance clear in my voice. I wasn't a morning person and I didn't like that awakening action he had just done on me.

He stopped rubbing his head and lifted himself up to his feet same as I giving me an innocent look now.

"Relax, I just thought I'd wake you up." he said giving me a half smile with shrug." You didn't look so good."

I ran a hand threw my messed up bed head before asking him, " How did you get in here?"

He looked to his left, eyebrows nit together as if it were a strange question, or maybe it was just obvious but I hadn't realized it yet." Uh, your mom." He stated.

I groaned scratching my head and staring at my door lazily. " Oh yeah, right."

He cocked his head at me." Are you okay?"

I dropped my hand back down to my side." Of course, I'm fine," I rubbed my eye. " Just had a bad dream. . .again."

He stared at me carefully with a slight squint of his eyes and a quirk of his lips. I guess this was his worried look for me either that or he was trying to figure me out.

I rolled my eyes as a habit and stomped around my room until I came to my closet and began to strip down, completely being comfortable with my naked body in front of him. He had already seen it. . .twice.

I cleaned and dressed myself quickly and packed what was needed for another day of school.

Tuesday.

"Let this day not be as bad as yesterday was." I muttered to myself as I turned to face Alex sitting on my bed looking at his phone at a message.

Curiosity got the better of me and I leaned over him to see what was so important that he hadn't said a word to me for a total of five minutes.

"A party. . ." I read aloud in a quiet voice. Letting it sink in I stepped back and stared at him unbelievably.

"No!"

He looked up at me. The message was from D.C inviting us to a late night party tonight in the woods instead of her house this time.

He looked almost taken aback but confused at the same time." No what?"

"Are you thinking about going to that party?" I felt as if my voice sounded like a mother's who was about to call the whole thing off for her child.

"Don't worry, I wasn't thinking about it, considering what happened last time—"

I shook my head interrupting. " **_Don't_** remind me."

He nodded." I wasn't thinking about it." He repeated.

I sighed in relief, " Good. But why does she want us to go?"

"I'm sure it's just to hang out." he confirmed positively, making me want to believe him, and I did but something about the party thing had me thinking back to how we broke up and I didn't want that incident to start up again.

Besides the crowd thing was still much of a bother for me, but not as bad

"I looked at my phone for the time," We should go."

Leaving my room and heading down the stairs I heard a glass tap emphatically onto the granite counter top and a shuffling in the kitchen.

Alex and I rounded the corner, coming down the steps to see my mom pouring a glass of Vodka. She was dressed in work clothing but looked tired.

She looked right at me as she lifted the glass to her lips and took a mouthful of it before swallowing slowly. This whole issue transpired right in front of us.

I couldn't help but to feel some kind of way about it. I was twisted between betrayal and disgust. My lips pursed together thinly, my eyes hardening before I looked away, I had to- need to and walked threw the foyer and out the door with Alex right behind me.

Alex knew I would throw a fit once we got into the car and on the road to school.

"Don't let it bother you." He said smoothly almost sedately, and I wondered how he could be so calm.

I blew out a quick breath that sounded like a cut off laugh just beginning to happen as I gave him another inconceivable expression that morning.

"What do you mean **' don't let it bother you',** you saw how she did that right in front of me.

He didn't say a word, just kept driving and keeping his eyes strait.

I closed my eyes sighed lowly as I sat back in my seat staring out the window. I shook my head gently, "This is such bullshit."

"Have you said anything to her about seeing a shrink?"

I looked his way, his eyes were finally to me and not the road.

"No," I said. "I didn't really get the chance last night." It was only half a lie, If I could call it that. last night Iris, my mom's friend was over for a visit and I didn't want to talk about going to a shrink about drinking problems for my mom in front of her, but I had to admit I would have done so if I hadn't been so upset and didn't want to look my own mom in the eyes.

Why did she do this to me? Lie, I was so done with the feeling of betrayal from both of my parents now, I didn't know what to do.

I thought my mom had been different but looks like she was dealing with problems of her own just like my dad had or maybe still was.

Speaking of my dad, I wondered where he was? He was on the lose, maybe he had gotten caught by the police and was heading back to jail. I sure hoped something like that was happening.

"You should do it , that way she can be cured." Said Alex breaking me out of my thoughts.

He was right, and I wasn't ashamed to say but I did need to get this distance thing out of the way so I could get her some actual help for her problem. I needed to tell her today and see what she had to say about it.

And for her sake as well as mine, I hoped she wouldn't say no.

0000000000000

Yogi stepped out of his black Corolla. Shutting the door behind him. He paused and put his hands into his pockets looking at the two story brick house in front of him.

Tan bricks stared back at him with white outlined windows all being closed with blinds.

This house looked normal, regular even. But little did people expect a kidnapping to have happened here.

The air was fresh, smelling of a slight distinct scent. It smelled wet, damp but comfortable. Just last night it had rained and it had taken him all night to get here.

Since this was the farthest part of Boston that was a miles away from his home. But the journey was well worth it, at least he'd be helping some one with another case.

Jiki, Eva and Tsukoumo got out of their cars just now pulling into the residence.

He looked their way and mentally and inwardly felt tied back, disdain towards them. He let out a quiet noise that sounded like a groan and a grunt. Not audible for them to hear.

Hirato hadn't listened to him. . .which wasn't really a surprise. After all when did Hirato ever take his words seriously.

This case was all his, not an entire squad of his pupils. But putting it that way he realized he had been a pupil too. . that is, until he quit and decided to work alone. **All** the time and **every** time. But apparently Hirato didn't get the idea of it. Even if Yogi had spelled it out for him many times.

He knew they disliked him to, because he was better. Always better, always at the top, or in the lead. This was why he never bothered with them. Why waist time on people who didn't like you when you could just as easily walk away from the problem.

Yogi understood he was being rather immature for his 21 years of age so decided to stop his dislike argument inside his head and just get on with things so this could be over.

"Let's go." he said plainly and began walking up the drive way. He heard their foot steps behind him until they all came to the door, he rang the door bell. Silence.

Deciding to knock he did so, loudly. This time the door opened to a women.

Her tan eyes looked up at him, herself being some what short but typical height for a women. Her hair was a dark brunette and he guessed she was in her mid 30's.

She smiled hesitantly at his handsome face before turning serious and stepped out of the door way so they could come in, knowing that they were all apart of the police department.

"I got your call." Yogi stated.

She clasped her hands together in a thankful sort of way. " Yes, thank you for coming all this way." she spoke calmly but there was an edge in her voice notifying him that she was nervous or either scared.

Either one would work but it made sense she were feeling both at the same time. After all, her son did get kidnaped.

Eva, Tsukuomo, and Jiki all looked around the house beginning to investigate.

Yogi focused his violate eyes back onto her tan ones. " Your boys name is Yanari, correct?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"Would you mind showing me where he was taken?"

"Not at all." She said generously. Leading him down stairs she came to a door and turned the knob and flicked on the light.

The room was messy— but not of a playful messy as in children's toys being scattered amongst the floor, but of glass and broken objects in the room looking as if a scuffle had occurred.

Yogi saw a bloody hand print on the wall. To small to belong to the man who was said to have taken Yanari who was only 9 years old.

Yogi walked over to it and with his camera took a picture. He removed the bag over his shoulder and unzipped it.

Coming out with two rubber gloves and pulled them down over his hands before takeing a cotton swab and slowly and delicately smudged the hand print with the white cotton, staining it. He then dropped the swab into a clear plastic zip lock bag and put it into his supply bag with the rest of his investigation tools.

Just as he was about to stand up he saw a strand of dark blue hair. Crouching down, he Picked it up, put it in a separate zip lock bag and dropped it in with the resent clue and DNA file.

"How did this all happen?" He asked removing his gloves still crouching near where the broken window was.

"I-I don't know," She stuttered, starting to get emotional as her face frowned up." I had left to go get food for dinner, telling my husband I would be back in a few minutes and to watch Yanari, he's a good man he agreed to take care of him until I got back."

She looked down covering her face with both hands as she took in a deep breath to calm her nerves before continuing. " But once I made it back I called out to them that food was here. A tear rolled down her cheek as her face turned a slight red from the emotions. But they never responded, they didn't answer. But as I came down stairs it felt colder then usual."

"I went into Yanari's room and his father lay dead on the floor and the window was broken into. She choked on her breath before painfully muttering out. Yanari was gone." She broke down into tears.

Yogi placed an arm around her, side hugging her and caressing her shoulder softly as she shook with tears.

He needed a trail to where this person had gone off to. But he knew Yanari's mother hadn't had a clue of that.


	58. Authors Note

**GothinBlack- Okay guys this is just an authors note** **to tell you that I might not be able to update this book this week or this weekend. I have final exams coming up at my school so I'm going to need to take the time off to study a bunch. So sorry about this but possibly next week I'll have time to update the next chapter or I maybe will try to do it this weekend. But I just wanted to inform all of you about this.**

 **I'm really sorry. But I'll be back before you know it.**


	59. All In My Head

**GothinBlack- Okay I'm finally back with another chapter. My high school final exams aren't over just yet until this Friday but luckily I had some time off from my studying to write the next chapter to this book. I don't know about tomorrow but I'll see about updating the next chapter. Sorry for my long absence enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

In science later that day, things were off with me. . .more then usual. For some odd reason I couldn't get what had happened in that dream out of my head. Things were serious in that moment and every thing of course felt real, I couldn't shake off the feeling of familiarity with the events that had occurred in that nightmare.

It hadn't bothered me earlier as much as it did now. But recently, it had found it's way into my mind, causing me to become distracted and less in touch with my school work.

I grew tired and my eyes kept closing and every time they did I was reliving that dream. . . or rather nightmare.

I couldn't see strait in reality, but neither could I in the nightmare. The other me just kept running in a panic that had caused my own heart rate to increase in my chest. That was just how realistic things were. The constant thud against my rib cage made a cold sweat run down my backside and forehead.

I blew out a steady quiet breath to calm my nerves as I tried to focus on my teachers lecture about conserving energy. But as I listened, his voice just grew faint and mixed up. like the words weren't processed correctly to my ears.

I suddenly found it hard to breathe and my vision only turned darker. . .more shaken and I felt myself turning ever so slowly. Like my world was spinning in slow motion but my body was kept still. I tensed up as I finally gave in to controlling my nerves.

I fell.

A loud crash snapped me out of my fatigue. My eyes opened just then, wide with surprise and I didn't know where I was anymore or what was happening. Every one was staring at me, even Alex.

His face as well as every one else was mixed between confusion and concern.

I noticed a pain in my backside just now realizing I had fallen from my seat.

Alex reached down and helped me up and I sat back down in my chair, to distracted by my own thoughts to even notice every ones eyes still on me.

The teacher had asked if I was okay but I hadn't answered. I didn't know what was going on with me. was I still tired even though I had slept well that morning. At least I thought I had slept good despite Alex waking me up.

After a minute everyone in the class as well as my teacher minded their own business, turning their eyes away fro me. Well except for one person.

My boyfriend. Alex.

He kept his eyes on me.

I tried to play it off like I didn't notice him in my peripheral vision.

He just kept staring at me, examining my face slowly, from my forehead, to my eyes down to my nose cheekbones and jawline before coming to my slightly parted lips.

I lifted up the back of my mechanical pencil to my teeth and bit down on it slightly, still trying to distract myself of the fact he had been staring at me for to long, even for himself. Normally he would just give me a 5 second glance but this lasted much longer.

Before I knew it the bell had rung, dismissing class for the day, and I hadn't heard a thing our teacher said with his lecture, which wasn't the first time that day.

I had to admit my nerves still weren't the same. In fact they were still twisting themselves inside me, all jumbled up, confusing and bothersome. I didn't know how much more of this I could take. I didn't exactly feel weak but my body just felt odd and I doubt it was the initial start of puberty. I had already gone threw that a long time ago.

I grabbed my book and stood up as the rest of the class piled out of the open door way, getting mixed up with all the other students in the hallway trying to get out of school as fast as they could.

"You don't look so good." Alex commented finally. He stood up from his seat next to mine. Our science class had just recently decided to switch seating arrangements and so now Alex was sitting next to me besides sitting across from me.

I closed my eyes before adding a weak" Oh really?"

"Yes." He said in a matter O fact tone." What happened to you back there?"

I opened my eyes again and sighed before scratching my head." I really don't know. I just feel. . ." I shrugged without finishing my sentence.

He tilted his head a little bit upwards and squinted. " You just feel. . .?" he gestured with his hand for me to continue.

I looked at him for a second before looking away, dropping my hand to sit in my pocket." Distracted ?"

It came out more like a question then I intended it to be.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped.

He pulled out his phone as it buzzed in his pocket." We should be going both Nai and D.C are expecting us for band practice." He said scrolling through the message on his phone.

"Right." I nodded. I grabbed my backpack and began walking towards the door just as Alex called out to me.

"Is it that dream?"

I stopped and turned my head back to him. My eyebrows furrowed. "How did you know?"

He held up four of his fingers pulling them down as he listed them off." For one you're pale as a ghost, two you're sweating, three you didn't pay attention in any class today, the ones that I have with you any way, and four you're incorporative with the things around you. Up until now you've shown that you're paying more attention and reacting to more things then you did earlier today."

I turned the rest of my body to face him before adding plainly." Is this why you were staring at me for so long?"

He sort of smiled and cringed at being caught.

"Yeah. It was all written on your face. Couldn't help but notice."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't think of how to respond. It didn't seem to bother him though.

"So it's still happening to you." He stated walking over to me, we both walked out of class as I told him the truth that I had been distracted all day by that same nightmare.

"It's weird though, never have I ever felt so disoriented because of some nightmare before." I shrugged as I shut my locker with the back of my foot. We began walking down the almost empty halls.

Alex frowned at me, " You say 'never' like it's the most oddest thing that's happened to you."

" Trust me, it is." I said seriously. "Besides, if you were me you'd be thinking what I'm going through _**is**_ the most strangest thing ever."

"Uh-huh." He mumbled he mumbled a bit to dismissive for my liking.

I stopped in my tracks and he did to and turned to look at me." What is it?"

I crossed my arms and gave him a serious look. " Alex, I told you about this and how all of it felt **_real_** , like it actually happened, I think you should take this seriously."

 _I know it seemed weird for me to just be having some random dream but I felt as if this wasn't just something random that just decided to play over and over inside my head, but that this was something more real then I could ever imagine trying to warn me of something, and having Alex believe it too made it all the more right and his opinion really mattered in this. I mean, he had died in my dream, I didn't want that in real life or in a nightmare. I needed him to believe me because I now took this more seriously. Something strange and weird was going on around me lately and honestly having at least one person take me seriously made me feel all the more sane and not crazy._

He must have noticed my slightly offended look because he gave me a look of genuine sincerity.

"Gareki , I'm not saying that I don't. . . believe you, but don't you think all of this is just. . . weird." He looked down for a few seconds before looking back up at me and sighed not the kind of random sigh but as if what he was about to say next was going to be hard for me to hear which made me curious.

"You said it yourself, you feel as though your nightmare is real, but I'm telling you something like that can't happen. Dreams or nightmares don't come to life like karma does. It's just unrealistic and, he paused to shrug his shoulders. . . _**crazy**_."

I squinted my eyes at him finding the last word accusing. No doubt it was meant for me, and it stung.

"I must be crazy then." I muttered bitterly to myself but loud enough for him to hear, I shoved my hands in my pockets and continued to walk down the hall and out the door.

I got in the car and threw my back pack in the back seat on the floor before buckling in. Alex's door opened up seconds later and he sat in the drivers seat before shutting the door. He looked at me.

I grew slightly annoyed by his actions of staring at me when I didn't want him to. I snapped my eyes up at him." What?"

"You're upset with me?"

I just stared at him before shacking my head in disbelief before I looked out my side of the window." Why would I be?" I couldn't conceal the sarcastic grudge in my voice but half of me believed I hadn't even tried to hold it back.

He sighed as he sat back in his seat." You are, aren't you." He stated once more.

"You know what, I said my voice clear with aggravation, Maybe I should go see that damn shrink you and my mom wanted me to visit a while back just so I can know how crazy I **_really_** am. Thanks for clearing that up, Alex."

He blinked at me a little confused by my out burst." Gareki, you're not crazy—"

" I clearly must be. I snapped. You made that pretty obvious when you didn't take me seriously. I guess I really am unrealistic and . . . _ **crazy**_." I said the last words that he had said to me minutes prior in such a way that I knew that it had struck him good, just like it had struck me when he had said them.

He was quiet for a moment the next words that came out of his mouth shocked me and stung me even more then the first time he had said them.

"You really are a crazy person, and I don't think that what you said about that nightmare makes any sense. I'm sorry but it's true, but don't take my word for it I'm sure some one will believe you." He said it in a cold tone, so cold that I hadn't believed it was his own words. He made it seem so casual as if he was having an every day conversation with me and that pissed me off more.

Shrugging my back pack on I grabbed the door handle." You can keep your damn sorry."

He looked over at me with realization at his once again mistake just as I opened the door and stepped out. he grabbed my wrist. "Crap, I did it again, Gareki, wait—"

I turned back to him. " You already made yourself clear about what you **_really_** think of me, even though I thought you had my back and was supporting me above all else, now I see that I made a mistake."

I shook off his grasp on my wrist and slammed the door before walking away.

I never thought Alex of all people would talk to me like that. He hadn't done that in so long that I began to think that he'd never talk like it again. But I was wrong, again.

I heard a door open and I found myself turning to face him again after he called my name for the third time from me ignoring his call.

"What?" I asked plainly. I stood there watching him wondering why I had even stopped for someone like him but then in the back of my mind the thoughts that I had about him from days before I already knew the answer.

There wasn't any like in this relationship from my own perspective any more but I actually loved this guy. It was an odd feeling for my mind to admit that to me, but I took it without any regrets. If I was going to love Alex then so be it, but that didn't necessarily give him the right to disregard something I thought was way more real and afraid of. I guess he just didn't get it, maybe because he wasn't experiencing a terrifying dream where the one person you love dies right in front of your eyes and you feel like that is reality.

He just needed to be in my shoes and understand.

"Are we really fighting about this?" he asked me gently, not at all seeming to have any emotion about what had just happened.

" You don't find what I'm saying to be true, but the way you spoke to me. . .let's just say it wasn't the best choice of words." I replied.

He stared at me for a few seconds, it looked as if he was thinking hard about something before his mouth opened." Tell me what happened, in your nightmare ." He asked me curiously now having emotion in his voice.

I had to look away from him when I said this." You died."

He was silent, his face showed that he was a little taken aback by what I said." But I'm still here." he said carefully.

I sighed. " I'm sure it wasn't in the past since you're here but I guess it's in the future, that's what that whole dream felt like."

He gave me an odd stare as if he didn't know what I was talking about, but I knew he did since I had told him about the dream from the first time I had it.

"Gareki. . .that's, he struggled with his words, that's unbelievable. You're telling me that I'm supposed to die in some futuristic dream of yours. That I'm not going to die _**now**_ but in a couple of days, weeks, months?!" He voice sounded surprised and accusing as it grew in volume.

He was frightened by the thought but who wouldn't be. I did just say he would be dead.

"I'm not sure. I said flatly. But it just feels real like it actually might—"

"Please be quiet." He muttered running a hand through his messy hair, he blew out a calming breath before darting his eyes back to mine.

"I would really like it, if you wouldn't bring this up again." He muttered harshly.

"Alex—"

"Please." He interrupted quickly. His jaw tightened and he looked rough as if he were in pain. A familiar pain that I saw his face turn into before.

"I don't want to hear it, especially with what I'm still dealing with my dead sister. That word 'dead' you don't understand how much I hate it."

I couldn't stay quiet my lips just spoke the words before I could stop them." You and her can be reunited. She'd want that from you"

His jaw unclenched in stood agape ever so slightly with a sad look in his eyes." Her only wish was for me to stay alive before she left me for her own death. She would have never wanted that from me and having you say that sounds a lot like you want me dead."

Alex's face turned to unforgiving in just seconds but it wasn't directed at me, I sensed it was from his past from when he was kidnapped.

But just as it had appeared it went away and now what was left was an expressionless face.

"You know what, forget it. He looked away from me and up at the sky instead. Lets just head to band practice and act like this argument never happened."

I found this entire thing to be odd, but did I want to stand here all day and fight with him. . .no that was easy to answer. My annoyance from earlier was still here but it had numbed down to the unexpected turn of events.

I watched Alex from the passenger seat start up his car before reversing out of the parking space and then we were off on the high way, more silent then we had ever been.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you, I got carried away, you didn't deserve that." He spoke quietly.

I looked at him from the corners of my eyes before sighing silently and replied reluctantly." Mistakes happen, I can't really be mad at you forever can I, plus I said some pretty stupid stuff too. You're not all the blame."

"But I am. He said firmly. I was the one that made you mad in the first place, and what you said about supporting you I completely agree with that which makes me all the more regret what I said to you. I'm really sorry."

"Now that I think about it I guess it seemed way unrealistic, I had it coming and I should have known you wouldn't believe me, but it's fine now, like you said lets just try and forget this even happened."

He nodded and then we both became silent again but this time it was comfortable.

I started to think that maybe this was just all in my head, everything lately had been going crazy in my life recently maybe it was just a stress thing that was affecting my mind making me believe that what happened in that nightmare was true but it was all a lie. Nothing like that could actually happen.

I didn't know what was real or not. I was just as confused as I had been when the nightmares had initially started.


	60. Destractions

**GothinBlack- Once again I'm sorry for the long wait, but finally my final exams are over and I'm back with another chapter, enjoy!(:**

 **Detractions-59**

* * *

I dropped myself down onto the red recliner chair in the studio room. I felt slightly light headed, I sensed that the same things I had been experiencing from earlier that day were coming back. I hoped that this time they wouldn't be as bad such as the room spinning.

I pinched the bridge of my nose to calm the overwhelming events from that damn nightmare in my head, this only resulted in helping only a little bit, but enough to keep me focused on reality.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked me hopping down from the stage before walking over to me. He dropped the microphone on the black coffee table in the center of the room before looking at me.

Things weren't as awkward between us like it had been in his car considering that was hours ago and we had been rehearsing the song for the concert ever since. We were on better terms and I was glad, Even if I was mad at him I couldn't guarantee that it would last forever.

"I'm fine." I stood up shacking the thoughts from my head. My fingers still pinching the bridge of my nose with m eyes squinted.

He looked at me skeptically before replying quietly." look, Gareki if you're having issues with—"

"Drop the subject for now. . . okay." I interrupted, not wanting to be reminded of the argument we had hours prior." We agreed to act like it didn't happen, so let's not talk about it." I dropped my hand away from my nose and stopped myself from squinting.

His face looked reluctant but then it quickly switched back to concern. But despite this he agreed to keep quiet about it even though I knew he wanted to at least relieve the tension with that subject.

"Ahem, we're still in the room!" Came D.C's loud voice. She lifted her bass guitar strap from over her neck before hopping down the stage. " What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing important." Alex answer casually as if nothing really was going on. But of course being D.C she didn't believe him. . . at all especially when it came to us speaking in private.

"Uh-huh, I'm sure it's completely nothing Alex" She smiled with a lifted eyebrow.

He smiled slightly and shook his head before changing the subject." Alright, I have an announcement."

Nai looked up from his drum set, the conversation now peeking his interests.

"From now on I'm calling this entire rehearsal over, Our rehearsal today went by amazingly, I honestly didn't have to stop you guys once for being off note or anything and all of your timings and cut offs were perfect ." He said proudly.

"Wait a second. Nai said standing up. Don't tell me. . . that we're not going to be rehearsing anymore."

"That's exactly what I'm saying, we've earned this, a break is what I mean. All of you are good enough for the performance on Friday there's no sense in us practicing when we're already as perfect as we can be. We've been doing this after school rehearsal for about a week and a half now, non-stop and we've worked hard."

D.C sat down in one of the recliner chairs before crossing her arms looking a bit unsettled." Aren't you taking this a bit lightly, Alex? I mean sure we _**are**_ good, but should we really leave our practicing even if it is just three more days until the concert? We could forget a lot in just three days you know."

"Oh, but you won't, I know you won't." He shrugged confidently.

"Seriously?, and how do you know that?" Said Nai plainly.

"Because, I know that the two of you are loyal enough so that Gareki's reputation won't completely fall down the drain all over again in front of a large crowd performance. He looked at me, and the same to you Gareki, I'm sure that you don't want to look like a fool in front of an entire crowd either, right?"

I put my hand on my hip. " Well of course not."

"Exactly," He said turning back to Nai. " You see my point now?"

He sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"Okay, D.C said slowly in thought, so if we give up the rehearsal then what are we going to do for the next three days?"

" We can still hang out here. Alex offered. Or I'm sure you guys have your own plans. . .such as partying?"

D.C raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, I got your text this morning." Alex confirmed lifting up his iPhone.

She smirked and I all of a sudden had a bad feeling about the next words she was gong to say.

"Speaking of partying, how about we go to the open woods one like I texted you this morning, that you still haven't replied to. " She suggested standing up from her chair." I heard it's going to be amazing. We should all go."

I crossed my arms at the thought of going to another party, the last one had happened out of no where thanks to Nai taking both me and Alex without telling us. I didn't like the idea that the so called party D.C was talking about was going to be amazing because that only meant more people would come, more stupid people.

People from Weslyn High always went crazy when the word for a party came up from some one and the next thing you know they're all rushing for information of going to it.

I wasn't going to go, Not this time.

I sighed and grabbed my guitar." I'm going to pass." I began to make my way towards the door.

"Are you joking with me right now, Gareki?," She fake laughed, " Come on I promise you that nothing like last time will happen again."

I stopped and turned towards her." How can you be so sure, practically I already know the entire schools going to be there and if you've forgotten, they're still showing photo shopped pictures of me and Lock."

Alex mentally cringed at Locks name when I said it. I knew he hated him even if he didn't show it much.

D.C rolled her eyes and smiled." It's sounds like you're afraid of what those people think of you—"

"If he doesn't want to go D.C then he doesn't have to go." Interjected Nai who was walking down the steps from the small stage.

"I'm just trying to help him let lose, he has been distracted lately." She said defensively.

That last part caught me off guard. Had I really been distracted lately, I mean I get the fact that I had completely blanked out of the conversation they were having with me at lunch earlier today. . .and the other times I was confused about what they were talking about when they asked me something because I had been stuck in my own thoughts but I wouldn't say that I've been that distracted lately.

That wasn't normal for me even if a lot had recently landed on my shoulders in the last few days. Especially with the sudden meeting of. . .that man, Yogi who still seamed oddly familiar and important to me.

But I wasn't distracted.

I mean was I, but just completely didn't notice up until now? I was making myself confused by this point.

Gareki?" Alex muttered grabbing my shoulder and leaning up close to my ear. I snapped out of my contemplations once more that day and focused my attention on him.

Both Nai and D.C were in a slight argument of forcing me to go to the party or just leaving me alone so I wouldn't have to. I found the who dilemma to be ridiculous.

I ignored them and listened to what Alex had to say.

"She's right you know." He stated.

I turned to face him fully. " What are you talking about?"

"That you've been distracted, maybe it wouldn't hurt for you to try this one more time."

I frowned at him as I realized what he was saying. I took a step back. " No, absolutely not! I'm not going to that party Alex." My voice came out forceful to get my point through to him but he was relentless, like always.

"It can be good for you, you've been stressing out lately to the point where it's everyday. You're dealing with a lot right now so why can't you just take this offer as a way to relax?"

"Because that's not going to last," I said softly. " I know something else is going to happen in my life and it's going to be bad, I can never relax knowing that. You should know this already."

His hand slightly tightened on my shoulder but not in a painful way it was as if he was trying to comfort me.

"Can you please just do this for me, I'll stay with you when we get there." He suggested.

I sighed again, " I don't need you to baby sit me, just because I don't like crowds of people doesn't mean I can't handle myself.

"I'll still stick by you rather you like it or not." He said plainly serious.

I considered his words. I needed to relax, I knew that deep down. I needed a way to get away from the things I had seen and heard and the only ways of doing that was to completely take my mind off of it— which I knew I definitely couldn't do, or find a distraction which was offered right here and now. And so I took it reluctantly hoping nothing bad would happen from this.

I looked up at the clock reading the time. It was currently 6:00Pm. I looked back at Alex. "Fine, let's go."

He took his arm off my shoulder lifting an eyebrow for clarification." Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I might as well."

"You won't regret it." Said D.C.

I turned to look at her and Nai who were watching us, I hadn't even realized they had stopped fighting and were now listening to our conversation.

Nai rolled his eyes as if he had lost the battle which he did since I had decided to go to the party anyway.

"Let's hope not." I mumbled under my breath." By the way, where are we going?"

She brought out her phone and looked at her invitation." It's on the farther side of Boston but luckily we don't live in the city our else we'd be really far from it but we're close. We should get going though so we won't be late."

I watched the houses pass by us on the high way as Alex drove and then came the never ending of trees as we got closer to the wood land area.

I had to admit it took us 2 hours to reach our destination. But I supposed this was better then riding in the car for 12 hours which was the longer way of reaching this area so I supposed I should feel grateful.

We followed Nai's car which was leading us the entire time until we were on a dirt road inside the woods.

The sun was just now lower under the horizon, night was falling quickly. I continued to look outside the window turning my head strait to look out the windshield to see darkness ahead of us with only the rear lights from Nai's car.

It was eerily silent and the only sounds I could hear were the wheels of Alex's car rolling over rocks and twigs and the constant chirping of crickets unlike how I suspected it to be teens cheering and blasting music, if this was a party for high school students then this was the most quietest one I've ever known.

The darkness still surrounded us no lights in the distance or anything.

It wasn't like I was scared of the dark but in this situation I had never been in the woods at night before so I wasn't going to lie that I had goose bumps running all over my back and arms. You never knew who or what was going to pop out at you in these kinds of areas.

"You good?" Alex asked, startling me, causing me to twitch.

He gave me a strange look before turning his eyes back to the road ahead." What's biting you, you seem. . .nervous."

I leaned my head back against the head rest trying to calm down my throbbing heart by breathing in and out slowly, I was getting way to caught up in my own thoughts today mybe I really was getting to distracted often. " Don't you think it's strange how we don't see any lights or hear any people?"

"Yeah. . . I was just thinking that. I didn't expect something like this "

I had an annoyed feeling just then."This better not turn out to be some sort of prank." I grumbled distastefully glaring out my window. Alex heard me.

"I'm sure it won't be, we might see people or hear music once we get further in."

I bit my bottom lip before letting it slide slowly past my teeth. "Okay." I said now feeling the weight of many party goers seeing me here drop onto my shoulders and soon enough my anxiety started up. The thrill and excitement making my heart come back to life, throbbing in my chest.

We kept driving for 2 whole minutes and I could soon feel a solid beat in my chest and in the distance I heard the constant bass booming loudly to electric techno music and I could now see the woods begin to brighten up like spot lights dancing in the sky with people cheering.

My eyes widened at how bright and exciting it was.

The trees around us seemed to of opened up more space for us as we continued to follow Nai's car into a wide open dirt parking space where lots of cars were parked. I could immediately see lots of students from our school chatting with friends or dancing.

I looked to my right to see a stone stair case that led to higher ground where a hill was blocking my view from the bright lights which I assumed where all the rest of the school was located.

"Whoa." I muttered under my breath and from the corner of my eye I could see Alex smile at me before looking at the dancing lights up in the sky." Do you want to wait a few minutes before getting out?" he asked.

We came here for a reason and we drove so far so why waste this moment through sitting.

"Let's go."

He nodded and grabbed his door handle and I did to.

I stepped out of the car and shut the door behind me, both of my eyes still on the lights over the hill. I hoped I hadn't just wasted my time to come here, I really hoped nothing bad would happen this time. I pulled out my phone to see the time was 8:00Pm now. I guess I was going to be home late tonight but I couldn't bring myself to care. The drinking problem with my mom was still evident and I didn't feel the need to be around her right now.

At this point I didn't really care. I didn't care that she might be drinking with unknown people right at this moment, or throwing some party again. I just wanted a night to myself where I didn't have to think or worry about any of it. I wasn't going to waste my time on this anymore today.

I felt fingers lightly grab my chin and turn my head until I was facing blue eyes. I was confused.

He was close to me, so close the I felt his breath fan over my lips.

"So you're here to, huh? Good I wondering when this party was going to get better." His thumb ran over my bottom lip slowly. I immediately knew that voice and jerked my head away from his fingers and shoved him away.

Lock laughed at me, holding up two hands defensively." Calm down, I wasn't going to do anything."

I glared at him just as I heard a voice on top of the car.

"I see that you still can't keep your hands off of things that aren't yours." Came Alex's voice. I turned to look up and sitting on the car was Alex also glaring at Lock.

Lock's smile disappeared." Oh, I see that you're here too." No doubt he was disappointed.

I felt my bottom lip tingle where he had touched me and for a second I thought he had slipped something to me by doing that but then I realized it was just my reaction to his touch. I didn't like it one bit.

"What are you doing here?" I found myself asking wiping my lips with the back of my hand.

His smile returned as he brought his eyes back to mine. " Well that should be obvious, I'm here to have **fun** same as everyone else."

I didn't like the way he had said that in fact the " Fun" part sounded like it was meant for me.

"Well I see that you two already see Lock here." Said D.C with Nai walking beside her. She put her hands on her hips." Lock, I think it's about time you leave these guys alone, they're my friends."

He smirked one last time at me before waving a hand and turning away from us. "Fine I guess we'll meet up at some point in this party, I'll catch you later Gareki." he climbed the stone stair case and disappeared around the corner where the rest of the party goers were.

I felt shivers go up my spine. Sure Lock may have been just as good looking as Alex but he was a snake who desperately wanted me all to himself but I never allowed him to get as close to me as Alex did, which proved to make him want me more.

I hoped we wouldn't meet up at any point in this party.


	61. The Shooting

**The Shooting-60**

* * *

I sighed turning back to Alex who jumped down from the car and landed beside me.

"What was that all about?" D.C asked.

"Seems to me like your so called friend has a thing for Gareki." Nai said casually.

She crossed her arms. "Me and Lock **aren't** friends any more, lately he's been distant from me and most of the time I just tolerate him because he's a person I used to think was cool."

"How'd that work out for you?" Alex said glaring daggers from where lock had disappeared around the corner.

"He's a jerk at times, I think he may be taking this Battle Of The Bands thing way to seriously." She stated beginning to climb up the rock stair case.

I shook my head not wanting to think about Lock anymore. " Can we please stop talking about him and just get on with this party."

"Agreed." Alex said all to eager to get the conversation over with just like I was. He grabbed my hand and all of us followed D.C up the stairs. The music seemed to only get louder and the excitement coursed through me all over again seeing to push away the anxiety.

Once we rounded the hill of trees the spot lights were bright and colorful standing out in the dark with the colors of. Dark blue, red, yellow, white and purple. They all danced around us crazily but it was actually cool the way they looked.

As for the people there were so many, all the bodies were all huddled together in one moving crowd as they danced with the heart pounding music. The music seemed to have changed too. It wasn't just playing techno electric but also pop music that made the crowd dance even more.

"This is amazing!" D.C yelled over the loud music.

She was right.

"There's so many people here, is this really our entire school?!" Alex yelled to her.

"You know what I think more people from other schools found out about this party!" She stated before leading us through the dancing crowd.

Alex held my hand the whole time trying not to lose track of me through so many moving bodies and I had to admit it was really hard to move past so many people all at once, I had to of knocked over twenty people to get my way through before we finally got somewhere.

We made our way to the bar area where unknown people stood drinking or kissing as if no one was watching.

I turned my eyes away from a couple who was doing a little bit to much touching that they should've saved for a more private place then a party.

"Let's chill here for a sec." D.C said just as the bartender came over to us and yelled for our orders. D.C decided to order for us since she was the closest and the music was way to loud for him to hear us over.

I hoped she hadn't ordered something to extreme for us. The last thing I wanted was for myself to get so drunk like I had last time. I had thought my hang over would last forever before it finally died down.

"Why are we waiting here?" Nai asked.

"Because we need to figure out where things are, this place is huge. It's not like it's my house you know." D.C said having a good point this party was a lot bigger then her house.

"Have you been here before?" Alex asked.

"No." She said simply.

"Ok, I'm confused how are we supposed to know where every thing is if you don't know?"

"Let me explain okay." She turned to the girl who was sitting right next to her that I hadn't even noticed yet. She had long red hair and blue eyes with a pale complexion she looked 18 and I could tell she along with most of the people here didn't go to Weslyn High school.

D.C put her arm around the girls shoulder and introduced her." This is my friend, Lexy, I called her up before we got here and she's been at this party for a while so she should know where everything is.

Lexy pointed to the far end of the open area of dancing people before speaking." Just to be clear, nobody go in that area, it's best to remember that we **_are_** in the woods and we don't know what's all out there, this is just for safety reasons."

She then pointed to the left of us and there stood the DJ on a stage with turn tables where most of the bright lights were coming from." As you know already that's the DJ, he does song requests so if you have a particular song you would like then you can just ask him, his names Daniel by the way". she then pointed to the tall hill where the trees were and where we had parked behind.

"We don't have bathrooms here so the best place to go is some where off in that area where it's not as dark and far off into the woods, plus no one will see you because of the bushes and trees, so that's a bonus." she put her hand back down to her lap.

" That's as much as I can show you, with all these people being here it's hard to pin point every thing."

"It's fine." I said.

D.C turned to her and said thanks before she turned back to us just as all of our drinks came, they were all the same, the bartender sat them down in front of all four of us before attending another order.

"I'll see you guys later, I'm going to dance with Lexy." D.C grabbed her drink and disappeared in the crowd with Lexy following close behind.

It was strange how the crowd just swallowed them up and the next thing you knew they were completely gone in the masses.

"I guess I'll do the same." Nai said gulping down his drink before leaving.

I stared after him before turning down to look at the red liquid in my clear glass." Do you think he likes us anymore?" I asked Alex.

Alex grabbed the straw in his glass and turned it in circles before looking at me." Why do you ask?"

"He's just been, I shrugged and paused for a second. . .you know, off ever since the misunderstanding between you and him."

"I'm sure he just doesn't know how to act around me since that break up thing between me and you happened, but I think he'll get over it. Besides, he doesn't have a problem with you it's just me."

"Yeah, but still—"

Alex grabbed my chin and kissed me, it lasted 3 seconds but it still felt as if his lips were pressed against mine.

He pulled away and said in a low voice close to my ear so I could hear him over the music." Don't worry about it."

My ear felt warm when he pulled away from me. I wondered what was wrong with me and why was I acting like this when I knew this wasn't the first time he had kissed me.

"Okay." I said before looking back down at my cup.

He seemed to be in higher spirits then he had been since the dispute we had earlier today. I was glad, I didn't want to see him look so sad over his sisters death, even if I was angry with him for thinking that I was crazy.

Deep down I couldn't really get over the fact that he actually thought that of me, but now that I thought about it I realized that it didn't matter to me any more. He had said sorry but so what if I was crazy for thinking something unreal was going to literally happen in my life.

It was just a fleeting amount of emotions I was feeling at that moment and I wasn't thinking clearly, you could say we both weren't since we said things we didn't mean, but that was over now and I didn't want to think any more about arguments.

I took a light sip from my glass before labeling it as being good. It oddly enough didn't taste like alcohol. I took another swallow from it, tasting the sweet spicy cherry flavor.

Alex looked at his phone and from what I could see he had a text from his mom.

He began texting her back and I continued to drink listening to the loud reverberating music that rocked my insides with it's bass booster.

As far as I knew this drink tasted way to good to be in a bar in the woods. It was weird.

I rested my chin on the back of my hand not thinking of anything particularly strait. Maybe this thing did have alcohol in it. . . if it did I wasn't sure anymore.

The bartender came and refilled my glass and I had no problem with it. I just drank it, might as well not let it go to waste.

Alex squinted his eyes at his phone before turning to me, Gareki are you okay staying here for a bit, I need to take a call ?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied smirking at him.

He nodded before leaning into me prepared to kiss me on my forehead but I moved and made him kiss me on my lips, placing my fingers under his chin I pulled him in further before finally letting him go.

I opened my eyes slowly to see his shocked face." What. . . was that?"

"What was what?" I shrugged innocently, a clear smirk still on my lips.

He looked at the drink I had been swallowing and pushed it away from me over to where he once was." No more of this, okay?"

"Um-Hm." I nodded still smirking at him.

He eyed me one last time before walking into the crowd from what I guess was to find reception for a phone call.

I stood at the bar counter continuing to listen to the music before I reached over and grabbed my drink back. Maybe Alex wouldn't care if I had just a little more.

I sipped at it once again not caring that I felt dizzy a little.

"Can you handle that much alcohol?" Said a voice right next to me. I looked up to see a boy with blue eyes and black hair who looked older then me.

I knew him didn't I?

I know I did, at least I think.

I stopped drinking and faced him fully.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said sarcastically.

He smiled. "I would, but not right now, "He grabbed my hand and slightly pulled me. " Follow me."

I still couldn't identify him but his voice sounded familiar now." Uh, where?" I asked staying in place.

"To dance, I know you know how." He stated which sounded weird to me. I mean how did he know I could?

I let him pull me into the crowd without another word and before I knew it I didn't realize what I was doing everything just seemed to be in a colorful blur thanks to the colorful spot lights from the stage.

The music pulsed with my body, letting lose everything that I had felt. I closed my eyes, completely in my element, feeling the bodies dancing around me, touching against mine. Skin on skin.

I felt who ever the boy was behind me bring his arms around my rib cage and I could feel him closer then before and just by his touch I felt my heart beat faster in my chest out of excitement.

His strong arms held me against him and in some part of the back of my mind I felt that what I was doing was wrong, very wrong, but I couldn't focus nor could I think strait I just allowed my hips to roll back against his in a rhythmic pattern.

I felt something wet drop onto my chest and I opened my eyes to see the stage and the teenagers that were on it had water sprinklers and they were spraying water onto the crowd as they jumped up and down to the beat of the music.

People were screaming with excitement as the water hit them.

So much water got onto me. Wetting my hair and my clothes.

I whipped my head back running my fingers through the damp strands, pushing my hair back away from my forehead and eyes.

I felt his hands roam up under my shirt touching my lean stomach before his thumb rolled across my sensitivity and I gasped.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Does it matter?" his voice sounded deep in my ear and his breath was hot against my neck. I felt his teeth bite at my the skin on my neck.

Despite so many people being around us I couldn't help but moan as his thumb rolled over that area on my chest once more.

This was wrong, so very wrong and yet I was enjoying it. Why?!

Suddenly and all at once I knew who this person was and I stopped my hips from moving against his lower regions which became known to me that he was excited. I could feel his hardness press against me and I gasped.

"Lock?!" I yelled in shock. He held me tighter.

"What the hell?!" I heard a familiar voice yell before I fell to the ground as Lock fell behind me. I removed myself from his strong hold, I was in complete shock. What had I just done?!

"Oh shit." I muttered under my breath. I felt some one grab my arm tightly and push me out of the crowd and I landed near the bar.

I looked up just in time to see Alex deliver a solid punch to Locks cheek knocking him to the ground, the next part I had to look away from because bile rose up from the back of my throat before flying out of my mouth onto the dirt ground.

I shook violently.

I gripped at the soil beneath me and heaved over once more. Dark red liquid seeped past my lips before I spat violently at the ground to get the putrid taste out of my mouth but it never left despite doing this.

I felt arms wrap around my ribs hoisting me upwards and before I knew it I was on some ones back.

My vision was blurred before I could notice this person had red and black hair then I knew him to be my boyfriend, Alex.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled with a slurred voice against his strong shoulder. I breathed in his clean scent even though I knew I was the last person who should be doing this at the moment from what I had just done but I couldn't help it.

"It's okay." he said calmly not sounding mad at all with me and I wondered why.

At that very moment I heard a loud banging noise erupt over the loud music. There was another and another and then there was the sound of screams.

I looked up but I couldn't see anything even if I tried." What is it?"

Alex took a long time to answer me.

"Alex, I sighed before asking again. What is it?"

"We need to leave!" he sounded panicked for some reason and then the loud bang rang out again. This time the music was cut off and I could hear people screaming even more and the foot steps of people running.

I felt Alex running beneath me.

I felt anxious suddenly." Alex, just tell me—"

"There's gun shots, I don't know where they're coming from but people have been hit!"

A wave of surprise crashed onto me.

"Are you serious?"

"Gareki, I wouldn't joke like this. What did you think that loud sound was?"

Slowly my vision came back to me as Alex continued to run." I'm getting off of you." Before he could say a word of protest I let go and began to run on my own two feet.

"What are you doing, This isn't the time Gare—"

"I'm not going to slow you down!" I yelled at him." We need to find Nai and D.C!"

"I'm sorry Gareki but there's to many people here, we can't possible find them in a crowd like this!"

I turned to him eyes wide," But we just can't leav—"

Another shot rang through the screaming and right in front of us the bullet hit a boy in the arm. He fell over and tripped me and Alex.

I groaned as I fell to the hard ground, Alex beside me. I couldn't believe this was real but it was and it was happening right in front of us.

What the hell was going on.

The teenager that got hit I heard him scream as he squeezed his arm painfully where I could see blood rushing out of the open wound. I nearly threw up all over again.

Alex got to his hands and knees and stared at the guy just like I was doing before he reached for him but not before another bang rang out. This time it hit one of the spot lights and bright sparks fell to the ground startling people from the loud pop the light had made when the bullet had hit.

"Oh my god." I said in shock before I was pulled to my feet quickly.

"We need to go!" Alex yelled forcing me to run as fast as I could along side him, all the while I couldn't forget what I had just seen.

I nearly fell down the stone steps once we made our way to his car but I caught myself being to afraid of getting shot to fall down.

I slammed the door shut on the passenger side and Alex did also on the drivers side as he started up the car quickly. People from behind scrambled out of the way once he reversed and turned around so we could drive strait.

I yelped loudly as some of the teens banged against our window trying to get in but there was no way we could stop and let them. If we allowed one person inside then more people would try to get in. Alex just kept driving until we were out of the wooded area.

I sat back against my seat, heart pounding in my chest from the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

I leaned forward and began crying quietly, I sniffed, what the hell was that, Alex?"

He gripped the wheel and his lips were pursed tightly together. He didn't answer me.

I looked up at him, " Alex—"

"I don't know!" he said roughly, his voice was harsh from holding back his own tears. He blinked multiple times as he stared straight ahead.

I slowly turned my head down to my lap and covered my face with my hands once more. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes as I remembered the boy who had been shot in the arm and all those people who wanted to get inside the car, the screaming, all of it.

I know I had said a lot about not liking people in the past but this time I took everything back, I cared what they did and said I just tried so hard to ignore it and now. . .this is what happens.

I shook my head slowly, sliding my hands down my cheeks before covering my mouth with one. "We could have helped them, we just could've."

Alex nodded." I know." he choked out as a tear dropped down from one of his eyes.

"I hope Nai and D.C are okay." I said quietly.

"I wish we could call them but there's no reception out here, I had already tried calling my mom."

I nodded. So I had been right, he was doing that when I was still at the bar with. . .

I covered my face again." It wasn't what you think, with me and Lock. I was drunk and he—"

"Took advantage of you." he finished for me." I get it, I shouldn't have left you alone not once in that damn place, I'm sorry."

". . . .Me to."

000000000000000

Yogi unlocked the door to his Condo, walking inside before shutting the door behind him.

"Good evening, sir." Spoke Aloes from the security pad next to the door.

"Evening." He spoke flatly stuck in his own thoughts of business.

"May I ask what is wrong, you seem. . .off." She questioned.

Yogi sat his work bag down on the marble counter top of his kitchen before answering." I'm fine, I'm just tired and plus I have a case to figure out. It's just the usual with me."

"Oh, Well I should suggest that you get rest right away sir, I understand how hard your job is to work for every day and night." She suggested helpfully.

Yogi took of his long coat before hanging it up on the coat rack in the closet. "I'm fine, I'm used to my schedule by now how long I've been working this job."

"Of course, sir. Could I serve you dinner perhaps?"

"That's fine, just give me the usual." He grabbed his bag and headed for his office shutting the door behind him.

Sitting down in his office chair he flicked on the lamp on his desk before logging into his laptop. He plugged in the photo chip he had taken pictures of for the case.

He sighed and stared intently at the bloody hand near the broken window. One of the pictures he had taken that belonged to Yanari.

The blood was still liquid indicating that the kidnapping was really resent. Yogi clicked his left mouse button for the next pic which showed the torn apart bed room that belonged to Yanari.

Who ever the boys kidnapper was must have been fighting the father, how else would the room end up in disarray.

Yogi clicked to the next picture. This one was of the father dead on the floor.

Yogi looked over the man's body looking for a clue before he found one. He zoomed on it closely. No doubt this was a bullet wound or should he say wounds. There were bullet holes in his stomach.

Clearly who ever this killer/kidnapper was wanted to make sure Yanari's father was indeed dead.

Yogi covered his mouth thoughtfully before his phone rang. he looked towards it wondering if it was business or not.

It was best not to question it. He reached over and grabbed the phone before answering it. "Hello?"

"We got a problem." Said Tsukuomo's voice.

"What kind of problem?"

Yogi heard rustling in the background and he assumed it was paper work information on the incident.

"Apparently a near by residents from the far off coast of Boston has reported there being a shooting with students."

Yogi paused at the mentioning of "Students".

"What kind?" he asked.

"Excuse me?"

"The students, what school do they attend?"

. . . ."Weslyn High."

Yogi's blood rain cold.


	62. Suspicions

**Suspicions- 61**

* * *

Yogi didn't know how to take the news, it wasn't possible that nothing serious hadn't happened. This was an unprecedented event that had just occurred and was just now told to him.

Something like this was a shock even for him, maybe because he hadn't expected something such as a shooting to happed in the far off coast of Boston, and he wondered. . ."Why had those students been out so far away from their school and their homes in the first place?"

"From what the residents had witnessed, they say that all the students that were there, were partying. The loud music made them realize this." Tsukuomo spoke, still on the other end of the phone on speaker.

Yogi ran a hand through the blonde strands on top of his head before sighing. This wasn't good, he didn't want to over think things yet, not by a long shot, but he still couldn't help himself but to consider deaths especially from people so young and he wouldn't hide the fact that he had thought of Gareki just for a split second lying dead on the ground once he got to the area of the shooting.

He immediately took the thought from his head, he made a decision to see Gareki tomorrow at school and if he was there then Yogi would know if he was still alive but if things turned out differently then well. . .he couldn't answer that.

He needed to protect this kid and his mom, that was his goal.

He sighed once more before pressing a button on the computer pad on his wall. " Aloes, hold dinner for me something important just came up."

"Yes sir." She responded just as Yogi pulled away his finger to stand up.

"I'm heading there now but I'm going to need directions from you, Tsukuomo."

"I'm already on it. Backup will be following you." She responded with shuffling in the background.

"Got it." He said before hanging up and was out of his office in a matter of seconds before quickly putting on his long coat and grabbed his car keys. He walked over to his brief case and unlocked it to reveal a pistol.

He brought up the cold heavy weapon and checked it's slot to see if full, it was. He tucked it down in his belt securely before walking out of his Condo.

Yogi drove on the empty highway caught up in his thoughts as he realized he had come this way before, but it had been to visit Yanari's mother after her son's kidnaping.

Yogi squinted suspiciously before brining out his phone and hooked it up with Aloes's router connection so she could speak to him.

"Aleos, are you there?" he asked with his eyes on the road.

"Yes sir, what is it?"

"I need you to give me a map location of my position."

He waited a few minutes as he looked back at the road ahead before finally a map screen with an up coming high way number trailed his position. 360.

Yogi looked up and no doubt the number 360 passed on a high way sign, he was on the right track, that was good and from what he could tell he was already in the far coast of Boston which was where the shooting had happened and if he was correct. . . this was exactly where Yanari had been taken. It had to be some where off in this area.

Yogi couldn't forget all the tall trees he had seen behind Yanari's home when he had gone to investigate and Yogi could also remember the gun shot wounds in Yanari's father's stomach and chest.

One thing Yogi had noticed was that both cases had to deal with guns.

Who ever this kidnapper was had probably scared away all the students from Weslyn High to try and hide their territory of where they had actually taken Yanari.

The shooting incident with the high school and Yanari's kidnapping were connected and maybe Yogi had found a lead on Yanari's where a bouts _and_ on the true criminal who had taken him and shot at the students from the high school in the first place.

Things were starting to piece together but Yogi still couldn't make himself feel calm, he needed one person to be okay in this shooting incident that had happened hours earlier that night, and that one person he still couldn't bring himself to understand why he had such a strong will to protect him.

000000000

It was already Wednesday, early in the morning and I hadn't slept at all. I couldn't after what I had experienced last night.

Alex sat behind me, we were both in his bedroom on his bed, he too not being able to sleep.

He had at first taken me home last night but then I noticed how drunk she was and I didn't want to be there any longer then I had too, not with my mom like that. I didn't want to deal with it. I packed what was needed and left with Alex all over again and so now we were here.

We explained what happened in the woods to Derrick and Dirrah, both of Alex's parents and they were appalled by the news. They had asked so many questions and called the police to tell them what had happened out in the woods. After it was all over, they finally let us go upstairs where we didn't really say anything to each other.

It wasn't awkward silence, we were just caught up in our own worlds thinking about what had just transpired. It had been a lot to take in. Everything now that I Iooked back on it had happened so quickly.

We were both surprised by the unexpected shooting, and I felt myself shiver slightly by the constant echoing shot from the gun that just couldn't seem to get out of my head even though I so badly wanted it to.

I sat cross legged, one of my fingers trailing up my one of many noticeable seen tattoos against the pale skin on my arm as I could do nothing but stare down at them. I had never been this upset before and I know that may come across surprising considering how much shit in my life I had been through but it was true.

The only thing and the last thing we could've done last night was just run. I couldn't forgive myself for not helping those people when needed. I was so scared and I was one hundred percent certain Alex had been too. Who wouldn't in that situation.

When we drove away from the woods last night even when we had finally got our phones to pick up a signal both Nai and D.C hadn't called us _not once_ , no texts or anything. Even when we had called them there was no answer.

It was like none of this was real, that we weren't living any of this at the moment but it was real. Everything _had_ happened and _was_ happening.

"Do you think they're okay?" My voice came out quiet and crooked from not sleeping at all last night and from my throwing up.

I felt Alex's strong back press against mine." I don't know." He said just as quietly.

"Maybe there with the police." I suggested remembering the policeman from last night say they were heading over into the area with backup.

I had initially thought that Yogi would come here since he was a policeman himself but when I remembered our last meeting he wasn't wearing the proper uniform just a white button up with a black tie.

Maybe he was just off telling me the news about my dads escape or maybe he was solo. Since that day I still didn't know where my dad was and I hadn't heard anything since that day.

I hoped he had been caught but even when I thought this I wondered shouldn't Yogi have told me if he had been put back behind bars.

"Yeah, maybe." Alex said dejectedly, finally replying to the last words I had said to him which made me spare a glance his way.

I figured I should say something uplifting." . . .It's best, to have hope." Those were the words that passed through my lips.

I felt him shift behind me before he became still again, his back still pressed against mine gingerly but still tense, I wondered why he was so stiff but then the answer sort of came clear to me when I heard him sniff.

Was he crying.

"Alex?" I asked quietly with concern, eyeing him in the corner of my eye.

"What is it?" He weakly answered. His voice wavered a bit and it didn't go past me.

I was suddenly over whelmed with the feeling of compassion, it was a bit of a shock for me since it felt like I hadn't felt this emotion before but I knew I had to of at some point in my life. I changed my position and was now facing his back before I spread my legs over his side of the bed and slowly I raised my hand and caressed his head.

His hair was soft as usual and as I did this I got a glimpse of a tear that fell from his eye. His eyebrows were nit together as if he were regretting something.

"Stop crying. I don't want to see you like this." I muttered.

His eyes got a little wider at my statement and he turned to me, looking surprised.

I stared at him before rolling my eyes with a sigh. "Well I don't." I looked down.

He blew out a brief laugh before kissing me on the forehead and I looked back up at him to see him slightly smiling. That's what I wanted to see.

"You're so cute." he laughed causing me to abruptly blush.

"Cute?" I muttered not believing he had just called me that.

He just smiled at me and slowly my blush went away, though still the "cute" word still surprised me. He hadn't said that to me before and it was sort of embarrassing but it was whatever, I could take it if it made him happier.

He leaned back on his hands. " Sorry about that, the crying, I just lost it a little bit. Just the thought of finding out that they might be dead, it just hit me hard."

"I get it." I said, still looking at him.

He paused for a second before he crossed his arms over his chest a sudden serious look crossing over his features.

"The thing is, me and Nai both may have had our differences and arguments but truth is I still care about him, I mean we're friends for Christ's sake, _all_ of us. I wouldn't want to lose any one of you including D.C. You're all cool people to be around and you've honestly taught and showed me a lot about myself that I couldn't figure out on my own. So the least I can do is say thank you to all of you guys. I really just want them to be okay."

I nodded before a smile came over me." Aw look at you getting all sentimental on me."

He laughed." Whatever, but I mean it."

"I know you do."

I turned my head back to look at the time. I sighed before scooting off the bed. "We need to get going ."

"Why?," He turned to me before looking at the clock." Oh."

"Hey look on the bright side, they may be at school already." I suggested.

He nodded slowly." Okay, let's get going then."


	63. When Things Become To Much

**When Things Become To Much-62**

* * *

Alex parked into the parking space once we made it to school that morning. He turned off the engine before sitting back in his seat, staring strait ahead before bringing his eyes to me.

I looked at the time on my phone before sighing." It isn't passing time yet, so if we make it in now then when can have time to look for them."

He looked out the window at the school before he reached in the back seat before coming up with his backpack, " Then we might as well get going."

I nodded before stepping out of the car, shutting the door behind me. I shoulders my backpack before I looked around the parking lot only to see fewer cars then usual.

But I didn't mind it as much, I just figured that we were possibly here early since the busses weren't around yet. But it was strange seeing the busses not here, since they always were whenever Alex and I got here. Maybe something was going on?

We both walked up the side walk not saying much else to each other. I took the time to look around and what I noticed made me have a very odd feeling.

There weren't as many students walking to school like it normally had been everyday, either they had decided to stay home or the shooting last night had—. . . the other conclusion I didn't really want to think about.

I turned my eyes to my left to see a boy one year my senior and I didn't fail to miss the troubled look on his face. No doubt he was worried about what had happened last night too, I was sure all the students here were.

I understood how tragic last night had been for most people especially for those who hadn't once in their lives come to near death.

I couldn't handle looking at him any more so I turned away and paid attention looking ahead. Keeping my eyes occupied by staring at the double doors to the entrance of the school.

I began to wonder if other students were going to act as shocked as the senior I had just seen, but then I took it back, of course they were. Who wouldn't after going through a shooting?

All of Weslyn High had gone out to that party last night so it was unlikely for people here to not know any thing about what had gone down unless they hadn't gone in the first place, but I was sure the gossip here would have them knowing about what had happened in seconds.

Alex stepped through the door before me and I followed close behind before he stopped suddenly in front of me causing me to bump into him from my lack of paying attention.

I moved strands of my black hair away from my eyes before I looked around his arm— since I was slightly shorter then him.

"Why'd you stop. . .?," I squeezed past him in between the medal door and his arm before standing in front of him.

He didn't answer me, just stayed paused in the middle of the door way, staring strait ahead.

I frowned before following his gaze.

It was then that I noticed everyone in the cafeteria were all huddled up in a large crowd, but there wasn't as many people in the crowd as I would have expected, perhaps a lot more people were missing then I had realized. They were all talking in a jumbled mess making it unclear about what conversations they were having. But by their body languages and frantic hand motions I could tell they were talking about last night.

I found myself pausing to stare at them as well. Normally it wouldn't be like this in the morning, of course students would be in big groups or should I saw "clicks", but not all huddled up in one spot.

"This isn't supposed to be happening, " I muttered to myself.

Alex looked up at a near by clock before turning to look down at me." Yeah, but I was expecting something like this, we should go, come on."

He grabbed my hand and lead me through people.

"Where are we going?"

"No where in particular, but we do need to look for Nai and D.C," He replied

But I stopped him," Wait."

He stopped and turned to look at me," What?"

I let go of his hand and pulled out my phone and showed it to him before dialing Nai's number." Just let me try something."

I put it up to my ear hearing it ring on the other end before the voice mail spoke up. I pulled it away and sighed before trying again only to have the same thing happen.

Alex looked at me expectedly but I shook my head." So much for calling them one last time."

"Okay, lets just look around, I'm sure they have to be here some where." He suggested and we began our search in the crowd of panic-stricken people.

By the time 10 minutes had gone by we had to of looked through fifty people but none of them looked like the ones we were looking for, some of them happened to be the same which just told me we were going around in circles.

It made sense since the crowd did make it seem as though we were in a maze. Alex and I finally made our way out of the crowd and decided to check some where else in the school but when we came to the main stair well we found it to be blocked off.

I placed my hands on the double doors that lead to them but they didn't budge, or rather they we're locked.

I stepped back and looked around before I saw another set of doubled doors, I gave them a push but even they had been locked. It was odd. In all three years of me going to this school I had never seen these doors closed before, they were always open.

Alex leaned against a locker," Okay, obviously something is going on here."

I stood up from my crouched position and put my hands into my pockets before turning to him." You think so?"

" That shooting last night, some one in this school who was at the party must have told the principle about it, why else would we all be huddled up in the cafeteria and the stair wells be locked off."

He had a point.

"Yeah that makes since, but do you think because the shooting we might not have school today," I questioned eyeing the locked doors one last time.

"How could we, as far as I know we can't get any where in this school without the stair well ." He replied. "They might as well send us home if they're so worried about what had happened."

"Uh-huh. Lets just hope they don't do it too soon, we still need to look for Nai and D.C, which means we should continue looking for them now."

We both made our way back into the cafeteria and as we did I heard some one call my name.

I stopped and turned my head around only to see Nai and D.C running towards us.

My eyes widened and it felt like this wasn't real but as they got closer I realized that this was really happening, and they both weren't dead." Holy crap."

That caught Alex's attention and he turned around just as soon as both of them came and hugged us both.

I was to shocked to do anything about the physical contact and apparently Alex was to.

"No fucking way, you guys are alive," D.C yelled happily.

"We thought you guys were dead," Nai said pulling away same as D.C.

I shook my head still in shock. "We called you guys so many times but you never answered."

She frowned. "That was the problem, both me and Nai lost our phones during the shooting, people ran into us and everything, it was crazy!"

"But you didn't get hurt," asked Alex astonished.

"No," Nai shook his head." By the way, I'm really sorry for everything I said to you and the way I've acted towards you, I let what happened between you and Gareki get carried away with myself and it made me hate you in a way I shouldn't of."

Everyone paused not expecting Nai to say something like this.

"I'm only saying this now because I realized how much I actually care, all because of what happened last night, I got worried and I panicked. You can even ask D.C."

She nodded." It's true, he really worried about you guys and he regretted so much."

Alex gave him a small smile, "I'm sorry to, you don't need to worry about it anymore because I forgive you."

Nai looked surprised by Alex's easy forgiveness but shrugged it off with a smile of his own.

"I have a question though," everyone looked at me." Where were you guys this whole time?"

D.C answered." After the first couple of shots rang out me and Nai ran towards his car but we didn't make it, right when we were there the wheels had been shot so we had to hide, it took forever but finally the shooting died down and then hours later the police came, they took us in and the entire ride back took some time since they took us to the station to question us and then they took us home and then they had to drive us to school, and now we're here."

"But one of those policemen I know he looks familiar," Nai said.

"Which one?" She asked.

"The one with blonde hair who dropped us off this morning. I feel like we've all seen him some where before."

My eyebrows creased as I realized who they were mentioning." Yogi, he dropped you guys off?"

"Yeah," they both said in unison.

" He's still here actually," D.C said.

I did a double take hearing this." He's. . . what? Why is he here?"

They both looked at each other before turning back to me." We don't know, Gareki," Nai replied perplexed.

I felt Alex's eyes on me but I ignored it I ignored everything around me only focused on my thoughts. was he possibly here to tell me they had found my dad? Was he behind bars now? I was filled with anxiety from the news of hearing this, I wanted to hear it from him, just to know that it was finally true, and then all of my worrying would all be over.

I failed to realize that some one had walked up behind me and called my names several times.

"Gareki," Alex said now catching my attention by putting his hand on my shoulder." Some ones calling for you."

I broke out of my thoughts completely and looked up at him perplexed." What?"

He turned his eye to the person behind me and all of us turned to look at a women with long curly green/blue hair with dark blue eyes. She was beautiful but was also dressed in a cops uniform.

I didn't know her but I figured she had something to do with Yogi being here.

When she spoke to me her voice was stern and held authority." My name is Eva, I'm apart of the police. I'm going to need to have a talk with you, Come with me."

She turned away from us and I was about to take a step after her but Alex gripped my shoulder causing me to turn and look at him again.

"Hold on a second, I'm coming with you."

I stepped away from his grip on my shoulder before asking," Why?"

"Gareki, it's obvious she's leading you to Yogi, and for some reason I don't feel like I should trust that guy, basically from what happened last time. Remember," He asked. He looked like he was trying to prove a point which I didn't quite believe.

I looked to where Eva had walked away to find her standing a couple feet away from us but not exactly in ear shot.

I stepped closer to Alex so our faces were 6 inches apart and whispered." He's not the cause of that, you know how it is with me, I get panic attacks because of things caused by my dad, _not_ Yogi."

He didn't look fazed at all and so I just gave up knowing that he was persistent when it came to things such as this.

I sighed. " fine," I then turned to both Nai and D.C. "Sorry guys, we'll be right back."

Nai crossed his arms and sort of smirked. "We'er coming to."

My face turned slowly into surprise." Guys this isn't an invitation party, this is serious."

"And we're not apart of all this serious stuff," D.C asked with a slight shrug of her shoulders, looking sort of offended.

I looked at all of them, at each of their faces before turning back to Eva who stood patient. I turned back them with a more calmer expression." Alright, let's go."

All of them followed behind me as we entered the guidance office and Eva lead us all the way into the back where the meeting rooms were held.

I took this time to look around just noticing the few staff members in the office. So it just wasn't the students— but it was the teachers as well that were missing?

I was confused by what was happening around the school today. Could just one shooting last night— not even in this area, could have done all this? Every thing seemed strange like things had shifted to an odd angle.

I supposed it made since. A gun was the most horrific weapon out there, so I wasn't at all surprised any more by my schools cryptic actions today.

"Right this way," Spoke Eva, she held her arm out to an open door for all of us to go inside and so we did.

The first thing I saw was a dark wooden table with black office chairs around it's circular perimeter. There sitting at the head of the table was none other than Yogi himself.

He was just like I had seen him last time. In an un-tucked neat looking white button up shirt with a nicely done black tie, also with black slim pants and black dress shoes that reflected the light from above.

He still had that same intense aura of intensity surrounding him. When I had entered the room I felt it all over again.

His violate eyes looked up at me once I entered and I swear we both paused for what felt like minutes but was really seconds. The world around me went into slow motion as he caught my eyes staring him down, and just like last time I couldn't hold his gaze. I had to look away.

Just as soon as the world had went into slow motion it was over in a blink of an eye and things were moving fast again.

Was it just my imagination or did he have a relieved look on his face?

Alex, Nai, and D.C all walked into the room before Eva stepped in and slowly shut the door behind her.

"You can all sit," She instructed, as the click of her high heels walked around the table before she sat down next to Yogi.

All of us sat down in a chair. Alex sat next to me while Nai and D.C sat across from us.

I eyed Yogi when he wasn't looking at me, wondering why this _**one**_ man had such a serious effect on me? When his eyes came close to noticing mine I averted them to looking at something else, as if I were interested in it.

Finally the talking began.

"Who are all of you?" He asked curiously before he leaned back in his chair and intertwined his fingers together underneath his chin in a business like manner. His eyes were on me when he asked this and I expected he wanted me to introduce. . .I tried not to think of this being weird.

I raised my hand towards Alex and moved it towards Nai and D.C as I introduced them." This is Alex, that's Nai, and that's D.C."

"They're all your friends," Asked Eva looking at every single one with curious eyes.

I looked back to both Nai and D.C before eyeing Alex. "Well _**they**_ are, but . . .Alex is my boyfriend." In the corner of my eye I saw Yogi squint at me before his face turned stoic.

Eva looked some what surprised." You're. . .gay?"

I shrugged. "I try not to think of myself being a label like _ **that**_ , but yes, I am."

 _From what I meant was that I normally didn't give people labels when they're in a specific group of something they liked, such as being Gay, bisexual, or lesbian or even pansexual. I just preferred if people wouldn't give me the label " Gay" even though that's what I was. I just didn't like people calling me something like that—giving me a label that is. It's weird, I know. But I don't care._

Eva nodded before smiling," I'm sorry I didn't mean to, I was just—"

"It's fine, I said interrupting." You didn't really offend me."

Yogi cleared his throat before speaking," Anyway, I came here to clarify something."

I made sure that my eyes weren't on his but on his neck, I knew he was looking at me and I could tell from my peripheral vision.

"Were you in the woods last night. . . to be more specific I got a report telling me the students from Weslyn High school had a party in the far coast of Boston, were you attending it— he eyed Nai, D.C before slowly bringing his eyes to Alex before looking back at me. . .with your **_friends_**? he finished.

My eyebrows creased together at the way he had mentioned "friends" as if he had forced it out, but no one else had caught onto it so I figured I had imagined it.

"Yeah, all of us were there."

"Did any of you get injuries?" He asked next, his voice still sounding odd.

I couldn't help it any more I had to look him the eyes this time. I slowly brought my eyes up to his and found him staring so intensely at me to the point where it practically scared me.

I crossed my arms over my chest tightly before looking away. I clenched my jaw, the muscles evident in their movement on my face as I did.

I felt Alex get closer to me before he whispered in my ear." Are you okay?"

I nodded quickly feeling myself get hotter by the minutes ticking by. What was wrong with me? The same thing had happened last time when this man had come to see me.

"Answer the question," Yogi instructed sternly without any emotion.

Alex glared up at him before he leaned back down and whispered in my ear." Are you _**sure**_ you're okay?"

I took in a deep breath before speaking and I took the chance to look Yogi strait in his eyes again, but they were still so intense." I need. . . to ask you something, do you have my father behind—"

"No," he interrupted coldly." We still haven't found him yet. Now, answer my question. Did _**you**_ or your **_friends_** get any injuries during the shooting last night, I need to know and you wasting my time isn't getting the case of finding your father any closer to being closed."

His eyes bore into mine and the heat rushed to my head and I began to sweat.

D.C and Nai looked over at me with concern and both of their eyes widened." Gareki?" Nai said worriedly.

Alex put his hand on my shoulder before he snapped at Yogi. " What the hell is your problem, you trying to make him have another panic attack?!"

I didn't hear what Yogi said because everything around me even my hearing became blurred, all I could think about was his eyes staring at me so intensely.

In my blurred vision I saw every one at the table get to their feet as the inaudible yelling continued. I knew it was Alex's voice and Yogi's arguing about something about me.

The heat intensified and I felt my body lift as if it were light as a feather, but I knew something bad was going to come from this.

I grabbed Alex's arm but he continued to yell at Yogi and for a split second I could hear what he was saying. It was something along the lines of "He's going to have another panic attack because of you, do you honestly want that?!" and then I couldn't hear any more.

I reached a hand up to my forehead feeling the heat on my skin, I was burning up and then I became dizzy. I gripped onto Alex's arm but then my strength left me.

"Alex," I closed my eyes. I don't feel so. . . good. . ." I fell out of my chair and landed onto the floor.

"Oh shit. . . Gareki?! was the last thing I heard from Alex before I let the darkness take me.


	64. When You Hurt I Hurt Too

**When You Hurt I hurt Too-63**

* * *

Yogi stopped the car in front of a tall brick building that was known to be the police station. He stared out the window for what seemed like minutes, watching the people that passed in their own cars and those who walked the side walks. But all of them had passed him up not even with a moments notice.

Eva sat in the passenger seat next to him not saying a word. Her face hard with unacceptance. She looked down at her lap and shook her head before turning to look at the back of Yogi's head.

"I can't believe you acted the way you did today. I expected so much more from you." Her voice was harsh and it hit him hard. Hard enough to make him understand what he had done was entirely wrong and selfish, hell the poor kid hadn't done anything to deserve the heated conversation they had had.

He only went to Gareki's school to make sure that the teen had been okay from the shooting last night not to cause a scene that had gone out of hand.

He sighed and felt nothing but contempt with himself and his actions. He could remember Gareki's face like it had been glued into his mind permanently, telling him of the stupid shit he had said to put the boy into so much of a dilemma.

He remembered the nervous look crossing over Gareki's face. He remembered the color draining out of Gareki's face once he had told him that his father hadn't been found. The harsh way he had said those words to him. And most of all he recalled the cold and accusing glare Gareki's boyfriend Alex had given him once Gareki had fallen on the floor unconscious.

He turned his head to look down at the steering wheel. What had happened to him? What had possible gone wrong to tick him off so much that he had caused Gareki to have another anxiety attack?

"What was wrong with you?" Eva asked. She had been speaking to him the entire time but he wasn't listening. He had been too caught up in his thoughts trying to decipher what had happened to him during that meeting.

"I'll tell you what was wrong with me," He said flatly, turning to her. Eva still gave him that hard look as if she were concentrating on his next choice of words." I wasn't myself, something that I can't figure out just snapped in me during that meeting."

Eva stayed silent for just a few seconds. Studying him with her judgmental eyes before she blinked and said."That still doesn't give you the right Yogi to just—"

"I know," he interrupted quickly as his hand lifted away from the steering wheel to silence her for a second before gripping it back on." And I'm sorry, but there isn't anything I can do about it now. What's done is done, there isn't any way that boy—no, Gareki will let me near him again."

Eva crossed her arms in disbelief at his words. Was he really calling this case off because of one mistake?" You're right, what's done is done but that doesn't mean you still can't try and make things right. There's also a saying that says" When there' s a way there's also a way to fix things— and you're going to fix this. It's your case Yogi and you can't let Gareki, a boy who's already gone through so much at his age go like this. You're a smart man, don't let your occupation down, you chose this job for yourself and for those you want to protect and help, and I'd like to see you go through with it like a loyal officer like you had done when you signed up for this job in the first place."

He closed his eyes thinking and hanging onto every word she had said. She out of everyone else besides Hirato was the only person that actually hadn't given up on him when he quit the squad in working with multiple police officers on one case He had chosen to work solo and apparently his last team didn't like his decision.

They never talked to him again besides the point of giving him specific cases to work on, but he didn't mind it one bit. But now he was finding it hard to only have two people accepting what he had chose to do for himself. Maybe the whole situation with Gareki had been a bad decision because he just wasn't cut out for taking this case. It would have been better if they hadn't met in the first place.

But the words that Eva said to him still hung heavy in his head. So the question was. What was he going to do now? He was being pulled into two directions, but neither of them seemed right at the moment.

"What are you thinking," Eva asked calmly.

He let out a tired sigh before replying.

"I don't know if. . .if I should be the person for this case any more, but then again I don't want to leave it like it is now. I want to leave this case but that would mean leaving Gareki and the other part of me wants to continue it, so I could stay by him. I don't know why Eva. . . but I feel like I need to protect him more than I'd ever done with any other person his age I had come across in the past."

To say that Eva was shocked was an understatement." What do you mean? Hirato chose you for a reason, _**plus**_ all the info you've collected so far about Gareki is helping us a lot. I saw your files about the topic of Yanari being kidnapped and possibly being taken into the woods out in the coast area of Boston, if you hadn't of known Gareki was there at that party then we would've never found where they had taken that boy."

Yogi clenched his jaw trying to look at things in a good perspective. The boy was terrible injured with knife wounds but at least he was in the hospital near his mother, one case had been solved of the missing child but as it turns out most of the men that had something to do with Yanari's kidnapping had escaped deeper into the woods and disappeared, so now half the case was still unsolved.

Eva had a meaningful look on her face before she turned away to look out her own window. She grabbed her door handle and before exiting the car she spoke one last thing to him.

"By the way, that boy, Gareki is possibly way more important to you then you let on, don't let him out of your life because of one mistake you made. He needs you Yogi. Remember that." she stepped out of the car and shut the door behind her.

Silence took her place as Yogi sat there as realization hit him right after Eva had said those words to him.

His eyes widened and he began to think why hadn't he realized this before? The emotions he felt towards this kid should have been obvious, but they hadn't been up until now. It all made sense.

This explained why he had been upset when Gareki had said he had a boyfriend during the introductions of the meeting. It explained why he was attached to Gareki wanting to protect him, not only because that was his job as a detective police officer but as a man who genuinely. . . loved him.

How long had it been since he had felt this way and not realized it? Was it the first time when they had met? It probably was but it hadn't registered in his brain at all.

Yogi put his head into his hands still in denial, but no matter how he looked at it. He had feelings for Gareki and they weren't going to go away easily.

000000000

"What happened to him?"

"Alex, I don't think you should be doing that."

"Trust me, D.C I know what I'm doing."

"My God he's really pale, are you sure his heart is still beating?"

"Yes, I checked three times already, just keep calm. Nai hand me another towel."

(Sound of footsteps)

"Tell me what happened to my son, please?"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of unfamiliar voices and the next thing I knew every ones eyes were on me.

I looked at everyone in the room and noticed that none of these people were familiar to me, I didn't know any of them.

I sat up quickly just as a boy with red and black hair pushed me back down but I struggled against him, pushing his hands away from my shoulders.

I scooted myself away quickly from all of there concerned eyes as they came closer towards me and then I fell off the bed I was on before getting to my feet, pressing myself up against a wall.

My eyes darted around at my surroundings before landing back onto the people in the room.

I glared at them. "Where the hell am I? What did you do to me?"

They all stopped walking towards me giving me perplexed looks before the boy with red and black hair turned to the rest of them and spoke silently before turning back to me."

"It's okay Gareki," He slowly stepped towards me, arms held up cautiously." We're all here to help you. What you're dealing with now is common and it's okay. Your memories will come back to you in a second."

He still walked towards me and I slowly backed away shaking my head." No no no, stay away from me." My back touched the wall and there was no where else for me to go." Who are you?"

"You know me Gareki and you know I wouldn't hurt you," the boy said softly but firm. His hand slowly reached towards me.

I looked behind him and noticed the other people walking slowly out of the room with a women that shared similar features to mine. She looked rough as if she hadn't slept in a few nights, her hair was disheveled and her close were ruffled and uneven having a sloppy appearance.

I felt a hand touch my face before it was fully pressed against my cheek and I flinched slightly. The boy was touching me and he was closer now. His touch felt familiar and for some reason I didn't push him away even as he leaned into me and slowly pressed his lips against mine.

I tensed as my eyes widened, but I still didn't push him. I shut my eyes tightly and kissed him back.

After a moment he pulled away, his grey eyes staring into mine, and then my actions kicked in and I slapped him across his cheek, hard.

He stepped back with his own hand up to his red cheek. . . ."Ow, why did you—"

I blinked a couple of times regaining myself before everything clicked to me and my memories slowly resurfaced into my brain. I looked up at Alex just now realizing what I had done."I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I lost. . . my mind for a second."

He paused for a few seconds before he pulled his hand away from his face and shook his head. "It's fine, I know you didn't mean to. But are you okay?"

I walked over to the bed, his eyes were on me the entire time." Yeah." I looked up at him confused. "What happened to me?"

"Do you remember me and where you are?"

I nodded." I remember you now and everyone else, but why—" Just as I said that the door creaked open and in walked Nai, D.C, and my mom.

And just like I had seen her a minute ago she still looked rough. Everything around me seemed to have paused when I saw her. Why was she here? Was it so pleasing to see me act so distant towards her because of her constant drinking, did she honestly want to see me leave her again?

I felt Alex's eyes on me and of course he understood what I felt like since I had left all of my anger on that baseball fence at school a few days ago and he had been there to witness it. He had told me that it wasn't to late to help her, but now I had changed my mind as things became clear to me. Getting her help now would just mean nothing and would just be useless. There wasn't any time left she was already to far gone.

It was really sad when I thought about it, and to just think that all of this could've been resolved if neither Jared or my dad had left her.

She looked as if she wanted to say something but she didn't, just squeezed her fist into her left hand as she turned away from me.

I averted my eyes from her over to Nai and D.C who stood by my open window that I found to be familiar and as I looked at it closely I noticed that we were all in my bedroom at my house.

Alex cleared his throat and I turned my attention back to him."We're glad that you're awake Gareki but do you remember what made you unconscious in the first place?"

I recalled things that had happened to me that day, and I knew what had occurred and I didn't like what I had to remember.

"Yogi, am I right," I answered, my voice deep with disfavor. Out of all the people I had met for the past month and a half he had to be the one that let me down. I know from what it seemed like I was making a big deal out of things just because I had another anxiety attack but I wasn't. I'd fallen for things constantly through out the past few weeks, and it hurt just to think about it, and just thinking about Yogi now only made me feel like I had fallen into yet another trap.

I didn't even realize I had expected him to be so much of a savior for me, who would bring my dad back to jail so I wouldn't suffer any more. I wasn't saying that he wouldn't still go through with finding my dad but now it felt like he just wanted to be through with the case all together, he didn't want to be near me anymore, a kid who had problems. I was just a id, that's all it was.

The kid who had once again fallen into the trap of "Taking The Bait" just like I had done with my mom, thinking that she had stopped drinking but found out she had lied to me.

Why was he so cold to me? What had I done, and why did I feel so unsettled when I was near him? Why was I feeling so upset over something stupid like this when I could just simply brush it off like I had done last time.

Maybe it was because I was fed up and tired of falling for shit that would just hurt me in the end.

Yogi was so intimidatingly intense that it practically made me sweat all over again.

I thought about our entire conversation remembering every last detail up until the point of me falling unconscious. I didn't want to think about that man any more even if he was supposed to be some detective looking for my dad to put him behind bars I felt nothing towards him any more.

And it wasn't like I "loved "the man or anything, I had just simply thought he was a person that I could look up to, to settle the stressful things in my life and put them to rest. . .but now I could see that I was wrong. He can take my dad back to jail but that still wouldn't lift the angry emotions I felt for him.

He was just going to be one of those people who just wanted to get done with their job and be on to the next, he had said that I was wasting his time in finding my father when we spoke earlier, which only made me feel worse.

My life was going to forever be filled with lies but at least I still had Nai, D.C and Alex by my side, the only people who would stick by me, and I was grateful for that.

All of us spoke about how uncalled for the meeting had turned out and they recalled things about me that I didn't even want to remember and finally I decided to end the conversation.

I pulled Alex down and whispered." I want to leave, I don't want to be here anymore."

He looked at me." Are you sure, what about your mom—"

"Can we _ **please**_. . .just go." I said firmly interrupting him.

His eyes continued to look into mine before nodding." Alright, if that's what you want." He helped me off the bed and I put my shoes on.

Nai helped pack my bag for the next set of clothing that I would need.

Alex told D.C that we all would be leaving and to tell my mom that and so she did.

I turned away paying no attention when my mom looked at me surprised." But you can't leave. Gareki why are you doing this to me?"

My shoulders sunk down. How could she possibly not know why I would be leaving her when she knew I didn't want her to drink anymore. It was completely obvious and I had told her so many times.

But that just goes to show how drunk she really was— that she couldn't even remember why I was going to leave in the first place.

"I'm done," Nai said heaving my bag over his shoulder.

"Lets just go." I muttered with Alex's hand on my shoulder. I didn't bother answering her question. D.C and Nai walked out of my bed room first before me and Alex did.

"You need to answer me, why are you leaving," She yelled at me grabbing my arm tightly before I could step through the door.

I turned around coming face to face with her and took her hand off of me." You should know why I'm doing this, I don't want to see you like this anymore," my voice was serious.

She shook her head before yelling." You're not going out of this house, Gareki!

I snapped then and I could hold in my anger anymore.

"Then what do you want me to do?! I can't stay here, NOT with you like this! You lied to me when all I wanted from you was to stop drinking, I shouldn't have trusted you not like the way you were!"I shook my head my lips pushed tightly together before adding. "You let me down mom, and I can't deal with this shit that you put yourself through anymore!"

I turned away from her crying face, walking past Alex, D.C and Nai who had witnessed the fight. I went down the stairs and opened the door and I froze at what I saw.

There was no way he was standing here in front of me now. The sky was dark behind him but I could still recognize his similar features to mine.

The man punched me in my face and I fell to the ground. My vision was blurred when I opened them.

The mans boots stepped in front of me before he crouched down and smirked. That same smirk that I couldn't possible forget." I'm home son, and guess whose about to die."


	65. The Man From The Nightmare

**The Man From The Nightmare-64**

* * *

My mind told me that I had to be dreaming or rather I was in yet another nightmare. But my conscience told me that this was all real to my horror.

There was no running away or waking up. This was reality and it was happening right in front of my eyes.

My father continued to smirk down at me before his cold fingers wrapped around my neck and squeezed to the point where I was struggling to inhale breath through my nose and throat.

I was still weak from waking up from my unconscious state and I wasn't surprised when my hands came onto his wrist and tugged only slightly because my strength hadn't been all the way restored yet.

I struggled against him, closing my eyes and clenching my jaw, forcing myself to pull harder. But he was just too strong for me.

I couldn't scream the only noise that came out of me were struggled gasps. I held tighter to his wrist as my eyes began to water.

"Get the hell off him!" Yelled a voice before my dad's hands were forced off of me and there was a loud thud sounding as if a body had hit the floor.

I inhaled air sharply through my mouth before coughing harshly. My throat still hurt from his tight grip and I knew I had to of had finger marks along my neck. But that didn't matter to me now, I was just glad that I could breathe.

I opened my eyes to see Alex reaching for me quickly trying to get me up and out of the front door that was still open. But before I could move my father slammed the door right in front of us and held a gun pointed at the both of us.

We both stopped moving immediately.

Fear lodged in my chest. My mind screamed to me over and over, we're going to die, we're going to die, we're going to die!

My heart beat pulsed in my ears as I breathed steadily through my nose to try and keep calm, even though a gun was pointing right in my face by the very man that abused me and who wasn't afraid to hurt me.

Alex glared at my father before positioning his body in front of mine and I grabbed his shoulder quickly." Alex, no, what are you doing," I whispered firmly panic edged into my voice.

He didn't answer me just stayed blocking the gun with his own body staring dead in my fathers eyes.

"I bet he doesn't even have that thing loaded," Alex said boldly.

My eyebrows creased together at his braveness. I would've never thought to say anything like that unless I had a God damn death wish.

What was he doing? Was he trying to get us killed?

My dad scoffed before pointing it at us and pulled the trigger. He didn't even dare pause to think about his actions he just did it without a care.

My heart slammed against my rib cage at the loud bang it made.

But Alex didn't budge in front of me. He stayed still and was still staring at my dad.

"You believe it now," He asked confidently.

I slowly looked to the floor and saw a hole where the bullet had entered. I sighed in relief that it hadn't hit Alex even though it came close to doing so.

I brought my eyes back up and glared at the man in front of us suddenly feeling angry." What the hell do you think you're doing here!? You're not welcomed so just leave!"

I was going to be damned if I was going to let today be my death day without a fight. I had suffered too much and I wasn't going to go out like it. I had to get Alex and the rest of the people I cared about out of here and as crazy as it sounded I didn't care. We needed to fucking live.

My dad slowly paced in front of the doorway as he spoke." I'm not at all surprised that you and your mother hadn't seen me stalking you in the woods or else I would have never gotten as close to you as I possibly would have liked." His eyes bore into my own as he spoke. The foot steps he was taking with his boots were loud against the hard wood floor making me cautious with every step he made.

I froze just then as I now realized what he had just said." You were the one watching me this whole time through my bed room window." I muttered in disbelief.

"Exactly." He said coldly. The gun in his grip was still pointed at us.

I had known some one had been watching me this whole time but it never felt once clicked to me as being real and I had never seen any one, I originally thought I had been imagining things. He had been so close and yet he could have killed me then, why did he wait until now to make a move?

" I bet you're wondering why hadn't I killed you the moment I saw you, am I right?"

The look on my face gave him the answer. He was correct." Why didn't you do it," I found myself asking.

He stopped pacing before turning his direction to us." That's easy but I guess a stupid boy like you can't figure it out so I'll just tell you."

I gave him a hard glare.

"Both you and you're mother put me behind those bars, and you know what," he asked. " I didn't like it one bit. I came back here for revenge son, and I'm not going to fulfill it by shooting you through a damn window I'd like to do it in more of a. . . dangerous way. A way that'll really make you both regret all that you've done. _**That's**_ why I hadn't shot you when I could have."

is eyes looked above me for a second before looking back down at me. " How about you meet some friends I mad while I was in there."

I heard footsteps behind us but I didn't dare turn around to take the chance to look away from him but Alex did and what he saw made him suddenly act quickly.

"Gareki, run," He yelled pushing me to my feet and we both ran up the stairs since that was the only place for us to go. As we did I saw two bulky men step into the kitchen from the back door and gun shots rang out through my ears. I didn't stop running though. I kept up with Alex who was in front of me until we ran into my bedroom.

Alex quickly put his weight against the door and locked it before coming over to me, He gripped my shoulders his eyes staring strait into mine looking over my face before asking." Are you okay? Did they shoot you anywhere?"

"I'm fine but that's not important right now. Where's Nai, D.C and my mom, we need to leave now."

"They were up here last time I saw them, but other then that I don't know. They probably found a place to hide but I doubt they'll stay hidden for long"

I wanted to yell out a curse but Alex quickly put his hand over my mouth to shush me when footsteps ran up the stair case.

Where ever Nai D.C and my mom were I hope they had a better hiding spot then us because I was sure this door wasn't going to hold against three men.

My heart was beating so fast in my chest that it practically hurt. My breathing increased slightly as panic began to take over as soon as the loud foot steps came closer to my door.

Alex's hand was still over my mouth and he stayed staring at me." Breathe Gareki, come on I know you can make it through this. Don't panic." He whispered rubbing his thumb on my cheek in a comforting way.

I nodded quickly trying to claim control over my fast breathing. My pulse lowered to a steady thud against my chest. The reality of everything happening at the moment still scaring me but to the point where I could keep calm just a little.

The door shook loudly with a loud thud.

They were trying to barge in just like I had expected. Alex pulled away from me and went over to wards his backpack crouching down and unzipped it quickly before pulling out a gun. It was a pistol.

He stood back up and turned towards me as another thud at the door came. The door was going to break down at any moment.

I stared at the gun in Alex's hand in astonishment." You have a gun?!"

He nodded." Don't you remember, I showed you this before."

I recalled the time when he had to help me by shooting down a wolf when I had run away from him and I had fallen into the woods.

"Come out I know you're in there," Yelled my fathers voice and then everything became silent. . . _ **too**_ silent.

I quickly fell to the floor as a bullet shot through the door and busted the window causing glass to rain down on top of me. The bullet had broken the wood of my door and now they all were all shooting at it.

Me and Alex both ducked down behind my bed. Luckily none of us had gotten shot.

I began to breathe hard all over again." What the hell are we going to do?"

Alex's jaw flexed before turning to me. "We need to get out of this house so we can contact the police. We can't risk being heard, not with three men with guns in the house."

"But what about Nai and—"

"We're not leaving without them," He stated before putting a finger up to his lips to silence me.

Alex slowly peeked out and while he did he switched his gun off of safety before putting his index finger on the trigger while his other fingers wrapped around the handle.

His father definitely taught him how to use a gun alright.

The men all walked into my room. Their footsteps silent against the carpet but I could hear them breathing and the slightest sound of clicking from their guns.

I took the chance to peek as well and saw that my dad wasn't in the room but only the two bulky men I had seen a minute ago were.

Slowly one of them made there way around the bed and the adrenaline kicked into my veins and before I knew it Alex held his gun up and shot the man strait in the head. He fell back against the wall and slid down against it and his head fell right next to my feet. A line of blood leaked from the small hole in his forehead.

I stared down at his wide open eyes. They were drained of life. This man was dead at my feet.

Alex quickly ducked back down as the other man in the room shot at him. Alex almost got hit but he didn't.

I felt a strong grip grab my arm before quickly pulling me away from the bed.

The man dragged me on the floor holding the gun up to my face before lifting it towards Alex.

"Let him go," Alex yelled standing up with the gun held out.

"I think not." Said the man as he yanked me upwards and held one of his arms over my neck in a choke hold while his other arm held out his gun.

I pulled against his strong forearm but he didn't let me go.

Alex pushed down on the trigger ever so slightly." I swear to God if you don't put him down, I'll shoot you. Don't think I won't," He said dangerously. His face was hard, not daring to back down.

The man just laughed." I have a gun too and if you shoot then I shoot this little guy friend of yours. I've done this plenty of times before so don't think you scare me kid."

I dug my nails down into the mans flesh harder as blood began to run down my finger tips causing the man to look away from Alex and turn down to me. Just as he did this I threw my head back hard enough to break his nose. He let me go with a loud angry yell and I ran towards Alex who wrapped his arm around me before pushing me forward so we could run out of the room.

"You bitch!" I heard heavy footsteps from behind us and Alex turned around just as the man slapped him with his gun making him fall to the floor.

The gun fell out of his hand and slipped down the stairs. I jumped after it only to land on my stomach just as the man yanked my ankle.

"No," I yelled in irritation. I pulled myself against the stairs trying to pull away my leg from his grip. I turned back to see blood running from his nose and he was glaring at me with such an angry look in his eyes that I knew that once I was close enough to him he would definitely kill me.

Alex was in and out of consciousness on the floor next to me so he couldn't allow any help. I had to do this on my own praying that I wouldn't die.

The man gave a strong tug on my ankle and I lost my grip on the stairs as I was pulled closer towards him.

I scratched at the wooden floor trying to get a grip but nothing worked. In the corner of my eye a saw one of my mom's high heels on the floor and grabbed for it but the man just hit me in the side of my stomach, hard.

I cringed at the pain but continued to reach for the shoe. I grabbed it but only got hit again in the same place.

Pain went up my stomach making me feel like throwing up but I held it back with difficulty. I clenched the high heel in my grasp as I turned myself around and lurched forward aiming towards him.

"Let me go Asshole!" I stabbed the heel of the shoe into his eye pushing it until it was all the way to the hilt. Droplets of blood splattered on my face as I did this.

He screamed loudly causing Alex to open his eyes wide finally fully awake before sitting up quickly."Gareki?!"

"I'm okay," I said as blood from the man's eye dripped onto my fingers, some of it found it's way onto my white T shirt and black skinny jeans but that was a small price to pay instead of being dead. I was finally able to grab the gun from the stairs and get to my feet before I helped Alex up.

He noticed the man on the floor covering his bleeding eye who continued to scream in agony he then turned his shocked eyes to me." Holy shit, did you—"

"It was either him or me," I said interrupting.

Alex didn't say another word to argue against what I had done to protect myself. He just brought his hand up and wiped the blood from my face the best he could." Good," he said.

I couldn't help but notice all the bedrooms in the house had been broken into. Every door had been broken down or shot through. What was once a home that I lived in turned into a place where I wanted to get far away from as soon as possible.

This was bad and we all needed to get out of here.

I turned to Alex. "We need to find all of them an—"

A loud scream came from down stairs and I identified it to belong to my mom. I had remembered that my dad hadn't been in my room during the shooting which meant he had to be down stairs with her.

I was about to make my way down stairs but Alex stopped me by gripping my shoulder.

"Don't, You could get yourself killed."

I handed him his gun and walked over to the injured man to busy with his gashed eye to pay any attention to what I was doing.

I crouched down and I grabbed ahold of his gun checking to see how many bullets were left inside it. There were none. It made sense considering they had shot all the doors down. I dropped the gun and searched in the mans pockets and felt something hard.

Alex looked down at me." What are you doing," He whispered.

I pulled out a small knife that was the size of my hand. I stood up and turned towards." I need a weapon too."

He nodded." Good idea." He tilted his head in a 'Go This Way' direction. "Follow me."

We crept down the stairs." What are you planning?"

"I don't have a plan. But the main thing we need to do is stay cautious. We don't know what we're going to see next," He muttered.

I understood what he meant and he was right, there was a chance that my mom would be dead on the floor as soon as we rounded the corner to see where the scream had come from.

Things were silent once we made it down the stairs. There wasn't a sound.

I stepped off the stair case following behind Alex who stopped to look around.

I looked around also. The family room looked trashed like a fight had broken out. My eyes scanned over the ripped up couch, torn blinds, scattered out papers, and broken pictures of me as a little kid.

I walked slowly towards one picture that had fallen out of it's glass case and I crouched down and picked it.

It was a picture of me but it had been torn in the middle leaving half of it to droop lazily while the other side stood strait.

Had she done this? Torn up all these pictures of me in her drunken state? Was she really this upset about me?

I shook my head feeling stupid for ever having any faith in her. I crumbled the picture of me into a tight ball and threw it some where off in the room.

"Gareki—!"

I whipped my head around just in time to see Alex tide up. I gasped and got to my feet quickly but not in time for my dad to slap the gun against my face.

I fell to my knees and landed face first onto the floor.

"Leave him alone!" Alex was yelling.

I wasn't exactly all the way out yet. I fought with myself to keep my eyes open. I brought my hands up and pushed myself slowly upward. I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and saw blood that belonged to me this time.

I felt finger nails scratch against my scalp before my hair was pulled roughly upwards. I groaned as my dad held me up like a sack of potatoes.

He leaned down against my ear.

"This could've all been resolved if you had just kept you damn mouth shut. I hope you're happy because this is the end for all of you."

With that he smacked me in the back of my head with the butt of the gun and I immediately fell unconscious just as he had thrown me back down to the floor.


	66. When The End Comes I'll Be Here

**GothinBlack- This is it the very end. Thank you all so much for reading until this point and for all of your advise, favorites, follows and reviews. There will be a book 2 called " Undying Reality" I might change the name.**

 **But I am coming out with a new book I've been working on called " Dark Magic" Look forward to that it'll be good.**

 **When The End Comes I'll Be Here-65**

* * *

(Alex's Pov)

Alex stared angrily at Mr. Igarashi's back as he stepped over his son's unconscious body and picked up one of his ankles before dragging Gareki's limp body against the carpet floor as if he were a bag of trash.

From what Alex could see Gareki was bleeding from his mouth but his eyes were still open. They were faded, not at all registering the ability to see what was happening. He was out cold and Alex couldn't do anything about it.

Not now at least.

He struggled against his binds. The taut ropes around his arms weren't going to budge or let him lose so he could protect both himself and Gareki and he felt worthless at this point.

He had to get out of this or else they would both die. He didn't know where Nai or D.C were, he hadn't seen them at all during the sudden shooting and he feared that they were dead or they had bailed at some point where the two men had come upstairs looking for Gareki and himself.

He just hoped they weren't dead. For himself and Gareki's sake they would definitely need some one to call the police.

Mr. Igarshi dropped Gareki's foot back onto the floor before grabbing another set of rope. He crouched down and tide Gareki's wrists together behind his back before wrapping and tying rope around his abdomen and his ankles.

He then hoisted him up and howled him over his shoulder. Gareki's head dangled behind his fathers back as the man held his legs from the front tightly as to not drop him.

He walked past Alex who watched his every movement the entire time." Where the hell are you taking him," He asked voice deep with warning.

Mr. Igarashi stopped in his foot steps and looked down at Alex on the floor who was equally tide up just like Gareki.

He smiled but not in a good way. Alex swore he saw the devil behind it. He's a demon strait out of hell.

"We're all going for a ride." was all he said before continuing to carry Gareki out the front door until Alex couldn't see his back anymore. It was dark outside and no doubt it was night time. The sun had fallen quickly but there wasn't a way to tell the time since his phone had been taken away from him.

Alex sat there thinking of ways to get out of this, but they were all dangerous and he would need to wait till Gareki was awake and who knew how long that would take considering how hard he had been knocked out.

He couldn't believe he had let his own guard down for just the slightest second and then this happened. His gun had been taken away as well and he was immediately gaged and tide up. He couldn't yell out to Gareki before his father snuck up on him. But to his luck the gag hadn't been tide on securely thanks to Mr. Igarshi's haste and because of that he was able to call out to Gareki but that had still proved worthless since he hadn't called out in time and now they were both tide up and headed off to some place that Alex didn't know.

Despite this he still tried to pull apart the ropes around his wrists, with not much luck of them coming lose.

"Alex!" A voice whispered to him.

He snapped his head up and looked to his left to see both Nai and D.C. They were alive and they were okay except for a bit of bruises and blood droplets on there clothes.

Alex didn't see any wounds so the blood must of not belonged to them.

His eyes widened as Nai came over to him with a knife and began cutting the ropes. "What happen to you?"

"A fight." Nai responded as if that really explained where the blood had come from.

Alex looked over his shoulder back to the open door. Gareki's dad still wasn't back yet but that didn't calm his nerves. That man could come in at any moment and that would be bad, very bad if he saw what Nai was doing.

Alex turned back to Nai and whispered. " Where were you two this whole time?"

"We hid in the attic." He replied just as quietly. Alex felt his binds loosen ever so slightly as Nai continued to cut. "There were two more men that came in from the back door and they almost got us but we handled them before they could kill us. "

"That would explain the blood and bruises on you I guess," Alex said.

"Where's Gareki," D.C asked.

Alex brought his gaze over to her and for the first time he saw fear in her eyes. Of course this was a scary situation they were all in but something made him question in his head. What past did she go through as a kid? When they all had first met Gareki they admitted that they've all been through some sort of abuse but not once had he ever heard D.C's past story. Maybe hers had something to do with kidnapping and murder.

But it didn't matter now, there were bigger things to worry about then to think about the past.

"He was taken by his dad," Alex replied." His dad may come back at any moment so I need to tell the two of you something quickly so listen to me."

Nai stopped cutting and Alex felt the rope loosen even more around his wrist and he could move his arms more accurately then before.

Outside there was the sound of a car door slamming shut and then footsteps made there way towards the open door.

Alex spoke quickly." Stay hidden the both of you. I don't think he knows you two are here. He's taking me and Gareki some place and I know he's going to kill us. I want you two to call the police once we leave."

Nai froze as his eyes widened from what Alex told him. D.C grabbed his shoulder and pulled him behind the corner to hide.

"We understand," She spoke before putting the knife in the back of his pants so he could reach it when needed.

"Protect Gareki and yourself, okay?" she then ran behind the corner with Nai following her and just like that they were gone.

Alex inhaled a breath before exhaling calming the adrenaline flowing through his body. The hilt of the knife against his tail bone was like a safe haven and he was glad to have it. It may of not been a gun but it was a weapon and he was going to use it so both himself and Gareki could live.

Mr. Igarashi stepped around the corner and crouched down right in front of him.

His face was stone cold. A killers face was all Alex saw as he glared at the man in front of him.

Gareki's father reached forward and tide the gag back over Alex's mouth and Alex shook his head trying to get it off. He began to struggle against the tight binds still wrapped around his arms and chest.

Mr. Igarashi just laughed at his struggles but then groaned angrily once Alex kicked him with both of his tide feet.

He was wearing combat boots so the hit had to be painful.

Mr. igarashi just scowled at him before punching him hard in the face knocking Alex to the floor who was nearly unconscious by the sudden blow.

In his blurred vision he could see Gareki's father bring out a small box and after staring at it for a few seconds he realized they were matches.

He was planning to burn the place. But both Nai and D.C were still in here. Alex clenched his jaw trying to keep his eyes open.

"You're a tough one aren't you," Said the devil standing above him. To bad this will be your last day of living. Other than my own son you really get on my nerves for the trouble you've caused me. I could kill you now and it'd all be over for you and you could burn like this house, but then again. . . what would be the fun in any of that?"

Alex cringed as he felt nails dig into his scalp and his head was pulled upwards before it was brought back down hard against the floor over and over again until he tasted so much blood in his mouth he nearly choked on it but was forced to swallow since the gag was blocking his mouth to spit.

Before succumbing to darkness he saw the devil pull out a match and lit it on fire before he threw it on the carpet in the family room.

(Gareki's pov)

The hard surface beneath me vibrated. I was laying on something hard and slightly uncomfortable.

I inhaled through my nose but air seemed restricted some how. Where was I?

My head made my entire body feel dizzy and there was a slow thud in the back of my brain that matched my heart beat where that bastard had hit me with the gun.

I tasted blood in my mouth and when I tried to spit it out that action was denied. There was something in my mouth other then my own tongue. I felt it tide around my head. It was stuck to me and I couldn't speak, only groans and muffled language could pass through my lips.

Knowing this I fully awakened now beginning to panic all over again. I couldn't move either and when I tried to open my eyes.

Oh God. . .I couldn't see a damn thing!

The only thing I could do was turn my body in the confined space I was allowed.

My heart began thudding against my chest faster once I realized I was in a trunk of a car and I was being driven off to someplace I had no clue about.

I shook my head now thinking of all the bad things that could happen to me and that didn't make things better with my fast pulse.

My conscience told me to calm down but I couldn't. Another panic attack made it's way into my system once more that day and I couldn't help but to breathe quickly through my nose.

"Emmm!" I screamed through my gag not knowing what else to do but to get the drivers attention. I needed to get the person to stop the car and maybe I could do some sort of attack to protect myself. I needed to get out of this trunk and just about anything sounded doable to me.

But I continued to feel the car move beneath me as it drove to an unknown destination.

I pulled at the ropes tying me to the point where I could barley move in an attempt to get lose. But that didn't work. I needed something to cut this with.

Muffled screams still came out of my throat through the silence that followed in the trunk of the car.

My nightmare had finally come true and I wished desperately that it hadn't.

I felt something from behind me touch my hands before pressure went down on the ropes binding my wrists together.

I nearly had a heart attack.

"Shh it's okay."

I stopped screaming as surprise took over me. I knew that voice. My heart slowly stopped thudding against my rib cage until it calmed down to it's regular speed.

"Alex," I asked through the gag which didn't make my question clear once I heard it in my own ears. It sounded even more muffled.

"It's me, don't worry," he answered calmly but there was nothing to be calm about especially in this situation.

I was glad that he was still alive. After I had fallen unconscious I wasn't sure what would I see next once I woke up, I was afraid that I would see every one I cared about dead right in front of me and that my father had waited to kill me last just so he could torture me at seeing all of them dead. Even though that didn't happen that still didn't calm my nerves about where we were headed now.

Alex untied the gag from my mouth and I spat it out. I felt his fingers untying the not from the fabric over my eyes and seconds later I felt it fall away from my face but I still couldn't see anything. Everything was dark inside the trunk which made sense considering no light could make it through the small cracks.

Next my hands were freed and I could move only a little since my arms and ankles were still tide.

So many questions ran through my brain but the most important one was: "Where are we going?"

Alex worked on cutting my arms lose as he replied to my question." That, I'm not sure about. The only thing I know is that he knocked me out and put both of us in here right as he burned your house."

I froze I turned to look at him but I still couldn't see anything. I wanted to see his face to know that he was actually here with me. His voice and his touch wasn't enough for me. It was like I was in that nightmare again and the people would disappear and I didn't want Alex to disappear.

"He burned it?" My voice came out in a whisper not believing he had done it. I was completely taken by surprise. I had only thought he was there to kill me and my mom not to burn the house too.

"Where are they?" I found myself asking aloud.

Alex stopped cutting and he stayed quiet for a few seconds before answering." They're dead, they have to be—"

"No." I interrupted not wanting to believe any of it. I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head. I felt the burning sensation of tears in my eyes." No, they can't be, my mom, Nai, and D.C. . .they."

"I'm sorry," Alex said sadly. "But I don't think they made it out of the fire."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Out of all the things that had happened to me for the past few weeks this had to be the most terrible news I had heard.

I felt every ounce of emotion weigh down onto my shoulders causing me to cry the hardest I'd ever done in a long time— in years perhaps. I cried so hard that it hurt.

I may have hated every single thing my mom had done to me during her drinking but all of that didn't matter to me now. She was gone and I regretted everything I had done and said to her. Maybe if I had stayed by her than none of this would have happened. How could I have possible thought that leaving her alone would resolve anything when all the men in her life had left her, I was supposed to be there for her and now I couldn't make up for any of it. I was being selfish thinking that escape would help. It just ended up hurting her more then I could have realized.

And as for both Nai and D.C. I honestly couldn't have asked for better friends then them. They were just like me. They understood what abuse was like for me since they had gone through it themselves. They had been good to me every step of the way, always there like no one had ever done in the entire school besides Alex. They made me experience things I'd never felt before and now all of it was over. I didn't want to believe it but all of this was real no matter how I looked at it.

I felt hot tears slide down the bridge of my nose before cascading down my left temple. I didn't try to hide my tears or my pain. This wasn't the time for that. No more hiding, no more running from things that were real it was time to face them. And this father of mine was going to pay for every last ounce of pain he had caused me.

The rope around my arms were untied now along with the rope around my ankles and finally I could move again.

"Come here," Alex said gently and I turned around allowing him to hug me tightly and I hugged him back letting lose all the tears I could produce.

I felt his fingers enter my hair. Slowly rubbing it soothing the pain from where I was hit with the gun.

"We won't die today, Gareki. I won't allow that. I'm going to protect you just know that," His voice calmed me but so many emotions were still going through me.

I buried my eyes into his strong shoulder as he held me against him.

" I new this was going to happen my nightmare warned me about this." My voice sounded weak from crying.

"I should have believed you, I'm really sorry."

I didn't say anything for awhile. My tears had dried up but the feelings still remained. No one can understand anything unless it actually happens in real life. or unless it happens to them. I thought to myself still clinging to Alex who still had his arms wrapped around me.

The car from what I could feel slowed down before I felt it stop completely. Alex tensed.

I listened intently, my own heart beat thudding in my chest from adrenaline. What was going to happen now?

I heard the sound of men's voices. One belonged to my father and two were unfamiliar to me. They all were talking about how to handle us once they opened the trunk and I immediately new they were bad people.

Alex leaned into my ear. I felt his warm breath on my skin. "Tell me what you want me to do Gareki and I swear I'll do it."

I closed my eyes. I knew what I wanted and now came the time to finish things and put them to an end. I had already killed a man today the reality of that just now landed on me but I knew that it was all to protect myself so that didn't count me as being a bad person he was the one in the wrong. I opened my eyes before whispering my reply.

"I want you to help me kill them, every one last one will pay for what they've done to me. If we're going to die today then at least we die with a fight."

He unwrapped his arms from around me and I heard foot steps coming closer to the trunk before a clicking sound came to my ears.

They had opened the trunk.

I let go of Alex. And prepared myself.

A bulky man opened the trunk along with him were three other men I didn't know. My father was no where in sight which was good

Alex quickly sat up and penetrated the knife into one of the men's chests where his heart was. He pushed it all the way until it was to the hilt. He didn't stop himself or hesitate he went in for it just like he said he would.

The man had a shocked look on his face as well as all the others that were around him. He fell to the ground holding his chest that was leaking blood all over the ground and had left some on the knife in Alex's bloody hand.

Alex jumped out of the trunk aiming for the next man.

Two of the men came towards me and I grabbed the rope that had been tide to my arms. I then wrapped it over one of there heads and pulled him down right onto my knee hard enough to send him flying backwards with a bloody nose.

I jumped out of the trunk just as the other man grabbed me by the back of my shirt and flung me to the ground. I landed on the dusty ground on my hands and knees just as he came up behind me trying to grab me again.

But I thought quickly. Clenching my hand around a pile of dirt I turned and threw it in the man's eyes blinding him before getting to my feet and walked behind him before I wrapped the rope around his neck and pulled as hard as I could.

Anger took over me and I pulled even harder determined to kill this man just like he had intended to do to me and Alex. I didn't hesitate I imagined that this man was my father and I let my actions act on there own impulse. There was no stopping me now.

The man clawed at the rope that was strangling him but he couldn't pull it off in time before he ran out of air. I didn't stop pulling the rope until I knew this man was dead. And finally I decided he was.

I grunted before letting him fall to the ground lifeless. I looked over to Alex who had just stabbed another man in his chest. Blood that wasn't his dripped down his arms and onto his grey T shirt.

I hadn't been paying attention once I felt strong arms wrap around me.

"You two just keep causing me trouble!"

My father threw me to the ground roughly before aiming the gun at me. I glared up at him." You fucking murder!"

He slapped me with the gun and grabbed my face with a tight hold." What was that," He asked coming close to my face.

I spat blood into his face and he threw me back down before wiping it off quickly.

"Gareki!" I looked over to Alex who was being held down by two more men. He threw the knife over to me and I caught it as my dad was distracted with wiping my bloody spit from his face.

I gripped it tightly and held it up before quickly stabbing it in his thigh making him yell in pain. I pushed it in deeper but he kicked me away forcing me to let go of the handle.

I rolled away from him, holding my stomach where his foot had connected. The pain meant nothing to me as longs as I had landed a good hit on him nothing mattered. He needed to feel pain just like I had.

He gripped onto the knife and pulled it out before throwing it to the side. He stomped over to me and gripped me by the neck holding me up as I struggled against his grip.

"Bring them in the barn." He ordered his men as he dragged me on the dirty ground. I was kicking and gagging along the way trying my hardest to get lose but he held onto me.

Alex had his arms held behind his back by two men that had been holding him down earlier. He was yelling curses at them to let him go.

We all entered the barn before they closed the doors from behind. It was the exact same barn that had been in my nightmare the one that had burned to the ground. My eyes widened and I fought even more against his grip. This was seriously happening. If me and Alex didn't get out of here now then he would die it all came rushing back to me now. I had ridden it off as just being a bad dream but it was reality and it was happening now.

My father finally let go of me as he threw me to the ground. I got on my hands and knees and coughed spitting out more blood before I felt another kick to my stomach and I fell back down on the straw covered floors hugging my sides tightly from the pain.

It smelled like horse shit in the entire barn. But that came to no surprise to me since it was a barn for animals.

Alex fought out of the men's grasp and ran over to me landing on his knees before touching my forehead." Are you okay?"

I nodded but then shook my head before quickly pushing him aside as I threw up right in the spot where he had been sitting.

"Gareki!" Yelled a female voice. It took me a few seconds to stop throwing up but I finally stopped and I breathed heavily before turning around to see my mother tide to a wooden pillar. And for a long moment I thought my eyes were deceiving me. She was alive but was bruised badly having blood dripping from her lips with dirt marks on her legs and arms as if she had been through a scuffle.

She looked a mess but I was sure I looked just as bad. I wiped my mouth just as Alex had been taken away from me by one of the men that had been fighting him.

I saw my dad pull out a small box of matches before lighting one." This will be so fun, won't it son?"

I glared at him." So you plan to burn this place down?!"

"No," He said simply. " I plan to burn this place down with _**you three**_ inside of it while I make my escape."

He was so close to me and if I reached forward now I could strangle him.

I reached after him but another man dragged me away just in time despite my struggle." Let me go!" I broke free from the mans hold on me before I fell to the ground after the bastard had tripped me.

I landed next to something sharp and I quickly picked it up only to notice it was an old pair of sheep shears.

"Don't just stand there get him!" Yelled my dad. I looked up as the two men came towards me. I gripped the shears in my hand and quickly stabbed one of them in the gut before shoving him away from me.

But I failed to notice the other man that had come behind me and he grabbed me in a choke hold causing me to drop the shears so I could fight for my life against his strong hold against me.

Alex ran towards me, grabbed the shears and stabbed the man in his shoulder." Drop him now!"

The man released me just as Alex knocked him out by el-bowing him in the face.

He gave me back the shears before checking to see if I was alright yet again.

"So you two think this is some sort of game? Let me show you that it isn't." My dad dropped the match into the straw that quickly started a fire.

And from this point on everything went in slow motion.

Me and Alex looked up just in time to see him point the gun at my mother before pulling the trigger and shot her right in the chest.

I froze my eyes glued to the gun in his hand before averting them to my mothers bleeding chest. Her eyes closed and her head sagged downwards.

"NO," I screamed lurching forward but Alex grabbed me forcing me back down.

"Don't do it Gareki he's going to shoot you!" he yelled at me.

I fought against Alex's hold on me trying to force him off of me so I could go towards the murdered standing right in front of us. But he wouldn't let go of me. Tears welled in my eyes once more just when I thought I had cried them all away they had come back full force." I don't fucking care, he deserves to die. I need to kill him!"

The heat of the flames grew— trailing across the empty space of the barn lighting on fire the straw that fed it to grow bigger.

I gripped the shears in my hand tightly before pushing Alex off of me and ran to the bastard that had killed my mom. He was turned away from us. He didn't see me coming as I stabbed him right in his back with the shears.

He pointed the gun at my stomach and pulled the trigger. Shock came over me as realization hit that he had shot me in my abdomen.

I clenched my jaw tightly from the intense pain and I looked at him strait in the eyes as he turned to me with blood coming from his mouth. The shears were still inside of him both of us ignoring the fire around us.

"This is the end." He said with an evil smirk on his face.

I felt warmness cover my stomach and when I looked down blood covered the bottom half of my white T shirt. I looked back up at him and glared.

"Yeah it is the end. . .but it's not for me it's for you." I stabbed him harder hitting his vital organs. He fell to the ground dead at my feet. I stared down at him before falling to my knees clenching my stomach.

I brought it up to my eyes and saw my hand was completely covered in blood." Oh God," I muttered in disbelief.

"Gareki?" Alex came over to me and saw the bullet wound." Oh no," He said before helping me to my feet he supported me with one of his arms slinging my own over his shoulder as he helped me walk.

The fire had built up to nearly the sealing and everything got intensely hot. I looked over to where my mother was she was burning just like my dad was." I'm so sorry mom that I didn't save you," I muttered to myself before turning away from her burning dead body.

We headed over to the door that we had entered only to find that it was engulfed in flames. We had to find another way out.

"This isn't good, why didn't you listen to me," Alex said as he quickly looked around for another exit but the flames were growing bigger.

I was in complete pain at this point. My fingers were coated in my own blood as I tightly held my bullet wound trying to stop the bleeding.

"I'm sorry," I said weakly." I had to do something, she was dying right in front of me."

"I understand but. . ."He paused looking down at me as he dodged flames coming our way. "Don't you understand that I can't lose you."

" You won't." Even though this didn't exactly happen in my dream. "You won't lose me Alex, I'm not dead yet."

"Look at you," He yelled. " You've been shot."

I was about to say something but then a gun shot rang through my ears once more. Alex stopped next to me and I dreaded what would happen next as I saw him fall to the ground his body slipping away from mine. I turned around quickly just in time to see one of the men we had been fighting earlier with a gun pointing towards me.

But he didn't get to shoot me as the sealing from above blocked his target by falling down in front of me. I fell down landing on my back before I quickly got to my feet looking around myself for Alex. My eyes landed on his arm but my breath caught in my throat at the next thing I saw.

He was trapped under the burning sealing.

"Oh my God! I screamed as I landed on my knees next to him. Only his head and his right arm were free from the fallen sealing on top of him. His eyes weren't open. I looked where the bullet had hit and I saw blood where his heart was and I nearly screamed all over again just from the horror of it all.

"God, no." I cried reaching for his wrist I tried pulling but he wouldn't budge.

The entire barn was going to come down on me if I didn't get out now.

"Come on. COME ON! I yelled pulling on his arm. Above me there was a loud snap as more of the roof was coming down and I had to pull away from him. The roof came down right in the spot where I had been a second ago.

Everything around me was getting even hotter and I needed to get out now. I clenched my stomach where my bullet wound was. I stood up and struggled to walk through the barn. I found a small crack where the wood had been torn through.

But I turned to look back. No way in hell di I want to leave him but I was hindered defenseless against the fire.

I fell to my stomach breathing in the smoke around me. I couldn't do it. . .I just couldn't not like this. he was gone and it was all my fault. If he had never met me then none of this would have ever happened.

But the faith he had in me made me move forward. He believed in me and I wouldn't let him down like this. I pulled myself to my feet once more feeling more blood slip through my bullet wound before I finally slipped through the hole in the wall before getting as far away from the barn as I possible could.

I ended up in a large grass meadow. I turned around looking at the barn burn to the ground exactly like it had done in my dreams. I was looking at it from afar just like I was now. All of this was happening and it was real none of it had been fake or me just making up anything.

Tears ran down my face as I continued to look at it burn in front of me. I looked down at my hand that had grabbed Alex's wrist for the very last time. I lifted the object up to my eyes so I could get a better look and I noticed It was a red bracelet the one he was supposed to give to me.

It was the only thing left I had to remember him by.

In the distance I heard the sirens of police cars making there way to the barn. They all parked and skidded to a quick stop before officers stepped out of their cars and looked at the burning barn. I then saw a dark grey Corolla park into the space.

The door opened revealing the man that I last expected to be here.

. . .Yogi


End file.
